Title: It Had to Be Coincidence
Author: r_grayjoy
Characters: Snape/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Kinks chosen: please your mod (hate!sex)
Word Count: 1,800
Summary: Sometimes it's difficult to determine who is being set up by whom.
Author's notes: Don't you love it when you have the perfect opportunity to use a plot bunny that hatched months ago?? (Marauders Era, no DH references.)
Oh! And happy one year anniversary on daily_deviant to me!

It Had to Be Coincidence

Poking his head out of the broom shed, Sirius gave a cautious look around before slipping out of the small building and cutting back through the Quidditch pitch. The Gryffindor verses Slytherin game was to take place the following day, and Sirius and James had devised a way to make the Slytherins' brooms belch green smoke and fly in reverse halfway through the match. Or rather, James had, and then he'd convinced Sirius that he should be the one to sneak out and jinx the brooms. Or rather, James had dared Sirius to sneak out and jinx the brooms.

However the course of events had transpired, the end result was that Sirius had left the warmth of the Gryffindor common room during an early November frost in order to mess with the opposing team's equipment. Well, it would all be worth it when he saw the looks on the Slytherins' faces tomorrow. At least that's what he told himself as he shoved his chilled hands into his pockets.

His mind thus preoccupied, Sirius didn't notice the scrawny Slytherin approaching at a fast clip until he was nearly upon him. Snape was heading directly for him, shoulders slouched, hands balled into fists, an expression of anger and intent fixed on his homely features. Sirius fumbled for his wand. He wasn't afraid of Snape, of course, but the wretched little tosser looked positively livid, and Sirius couldn't even recall having done anything in the last couple of days that would warrant such a reaction.

"Black!" Snape shouted from a few yards away and continued to approach, not slowing down in the slightest.

"Shouldn't you be off feasting on the blood of the innocents someplace, Snivellus?" Sirius asked in a bored tone, managing to get his wand raised just as Snape reached him. Snape swung his arm in a violent arc, and Sirius watched helplessly as his wand sailed through the air and landed on the ground some distance away. Despite many thrown hexes over the years, Snape had never initiated a physical confrontation before, and Sirius was more than a bit taken aback. "What the f--"

Snape had a look in his eyes of a person crazed as he grabbed Sirius by the front of his robes and shouted, "It was you, I know it was you!"

"What the sodding hell are you on about, Snape?" Sirius asked, shocked and vaguely horrified. "And get your greasy hands off me!"

"I know it was you!" Snape repeated wildly, still clinging to Sirius' robes. "Just give me the damned antidote, or at least tell me what you used so I can brew one myself. This isn't funny, Black!"

"Look, Snivellus," Black sneered, attempting to regain control of the situation and pretend that he wasn't as unnerved by Snape's erratic behavior as he truly was, "I honestly don't know what you're on about, and I don't have any bloody antidote, so sod off." Snape, however, didn't appear to have any intention of sodding off any time soon, and Sirius glanced nervously towards his fallen wand.

With a feral snarl, Snape surged forward, knocking Sirius off his feet. Sirius landed hard on his back, and Snape fell on top of him, pinning him to the frost crusted ground. Sirius felt something hard digging into his hip and realized -- sweet Circe's tits! -- it was Snape's cock. "I'm not taking the piss here, Black," Snape hissed. "This is your last chance. Tell me what sort of virility potion you used, now, or you'll pay."

"God, Snape!" Sirius exclaimed, his tone and expression filled with horrified disgust. "Do you really think I'd use a virility potion on you? The very idea of you with a hard-on is revolting enough to turn me celibate for life!"

Sirius was mortified to realize that his own body had betrayed him, though; a powerful erection of his own was forming beneath his robes even as he spoke. It was too much to hope that it would escape Snape's notice. Snape's demeanor shifted to one of smug amusement. "Apparently not all of you finds the notion so revolting," Snape smirked, then ground his hips against Sirius' for emphasis.

Sparks went off behind Sirius' eyes. He would not moan, goddammit all! Feeling his face heat in anger and embarrassment, he growled out between clenched teeth, "Get. Off."

Snape smirked.

Sirius' face flamed anew and he amended, "I mean get off of me! Let me up!" With that, he attempted to shove Snape away from him.

All Sirius succeeded in doing, however, was reversing their positions. They rolled together, and somehow Sirius ended up on top of Snape with the wiry git's legs locked securely around his waist. From beneath him, Snape rotated his hips once more and said, "Since it's entirely your fault we're in this position, I believe that makes it your responsibility to do something about it, Black."

"What?! No way!" Sirius sputtered in indignation, but his cock gave a decidedly interested throb as arousal raced through his veins like fire.

Despite Sirius' protest, Snape continued to shift and squirm under him. "Come now, Black," Snape said. "Isn't this what you've always wanted? Me beneath you, pinned and struggling, wholly at your mercy?"

"Yes! No! Fuck! Fuck you!" The friction and the heat of the body below him were overwhelming, and Sirius couldn't think straight. He shook his head, attempting to regain his senses, but his hips thrust forward by instinct. Snape dropped his head back and hissed as his legs tightened around Sirius' waist, and that was the end for Sirius' sanity.

Gritting his teeth, Sirius ground his erection against Snape's, and again, relishing the sensation of the hard bulge beneath layers of clothing pressing back against him. Snape's spindly fingers dug into Sirius' back and pulled at his robes, encouraging his motions. Pushing his hips up to meet Sirius' thrust-slide-grind, Snape chanted, "Fuck… Come on… Come on…"

"Shut the fuck up, Snape," Sirius panted, but the truth was that Snape's words, his gasps, his harsh breaths aroused Sirius more than he ever could have imagined. As Sirius found a jerky rhythm, Snape bit into his own bottom lip with crooked teeth, presumably to prevent more words from escaping, and -- god! -- that was hot as well. Sirius couldn't help but watch as Snape squeezed his eyes shut and threw his head to the side, lank hair whipping the ground and pulse beating fast in his throat. It was all wrong, oh so very wrong, but it was sending Sirius hurtling towards release embarrassingly fast.

An idea came to Sirius as to how he could gain the upper hand, and without thinking, he acted upon it. Shifting to the side, he pulled open the fastenings of Snape's robes, then shoved his hand beneath the layers of fabric before Snape had a chance to object. "Black, what-- ahhh!" Snape gasped as Sirius found his way into Snape's pants and his fingers closed around Snape's cock.

It was Sirius' turn to smirk. The cock in his hand was unfamiliar but the motion certainly wasn't. Moving his wrist just so, Sirius tugged at Snape hard and fast. In mere moments, Snape went rigid, a strangled sound welling up from his throat, and Sirius felt Snape's prick leaping and pulsing in his hand. With his attention fixed on Snape, Sirius didn't even realize that he'd been thrusting against Snape's thigh, but then he was coming in a rush, spasming above Snape and groaning and making a sticky mess in his robes.

As Sirius looked down at Snape, Snape turned his head and met Sirius' gaze. Horror at what he'd just done set in, and Sirius let go of Snape's softening cock as though it had bitten him. He wiped his hand on Snape's robe, then hastily backed away on hands and knees, heading in the direction of his dropped wand.

Propping himself up on his elbows, Snape remarked, "Your post-shag etiquette leaves something to be desired."

"I didn't shag you!" Sirius insisted.

"No, but you would have, had I offered." Snape leered at Sirius, and Sirius was suddenly very glad that Snape couldn't see his flush in the darkness.

"Don't flatter yourself," Sirius muttered as he snatched up his wand and quickly cast a cleaning charm over himself. Much to his chagrin, however, he knew that Snape was probably right.

"Please, Black. You were positively gagging for it," Snape said, picking himself up off the ground and readjusting his clothing.

Sirius stood as well. "You're the one who practically attacked me!"

"Only after you slipped me a lust potion in an ill-conceived attempt to seduce me."

"Seduce you?!" Sirius started at Snape incredulously. "You're barking mad! I told you, I didn't have anything to do with any lust potion."

"Hmm, that's odd," Snape said airily, brushing bits of dried leaves from his robes. "Potter seemed so certain it had been you."

"James?" Sirius asked, puzzled as to how his best mate entered into the equation.

"Yes," Snape said. "He even told me where to find you. I thought you must have been in on it together, as usual." Sirius stared at Snape agape as he tried to make sense of this new information.

When Sirius failed to speak, Snape went on, "Really, Black. I admire your attempts at cunning, but the next time you want to have it off, you could forego the potion and just ask." With that, he turned on his heel and walked swiftly back towards the castle, leaving Sirius standing stupidly in the middle of the Quidditch pitch.

James. James had ensured that Sirius had been out of the castle alone tonight. But Snape couldn't possibly have known that. It had to be coincidence. More than likely, Snape had doused himself with the lust potion during one of his Dark experiments gone wrong. Hell, there probably wasn't ever a lust potion in the first place! Snape was the one who'd been gagging for it, and the prat had used the story about the potion as an excuse. Ill-conceived attempt at seduction, indeed!

That had to be it. As soon as he got back to Gryffindor Tower, Sirius would ask James about it all, and then he'd know. Except… he couldn't ask James without revealing what had just happened with Snape. There was no way Sirius would ever tell James, or anyone, about that. No, Sirius would have to pretend as though nothing unexpected had occurred during his trip to the broom shed and back. Of course, if he did that, James would pretend as though he had never had anything to do with Snape. Assuming he had. And surely he hadn't. But… if he had…

Sirius would never know.