Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Banging Birthday Fic: Of Monsters and Men (Snape/Lupin) 
20th April 2016 15:00
Birthday Wish Fulfilled for: [info]islandsmoke
From: A Monstrous Member

Title: Of Monsters and Men
Characters/Pairings: Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: Angst, Romance, masturbation, semi-public sex, outdoor funtimes, blow jobs, hand jobs
Other Warnings/Content:
Word Count: 5,200
Summary/Description: If Severus let himself think long enough, to remember far enough into the past, he’d know who first introduced him to the desire for in-the-open, out-of-doors sexual release. He knew who to blame for that, he just refused to think about it, or him.

Author's Notes: Ah, My Boys! I've missed them so much! Thank you Mystery Recip for being so open to pairing, setting and prompt and allowing me to write my favorite sort of story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Thank you so much Daily Deviant for continuing to ROCK so hard, and for allowing me to participate in so much of your kinky shenanigans! I can't imagine my fandom life without you in it. (That goes for my amazeballs beta who will be thanked by name later as well). <3




Severus is not sure how it started, how he first discovered this about himself. He imagines it has something to do with Lily; their urban forays and her fascination with dark alleyways. Her fascination became his fascination.

He doesn’t know who to blame for the other part of that fascination. The need for release. That surely never came from her.

If he let himself think long enough, to remember far enough into the past, he’d know. Know who first introduced him to the desire for in-the-open, out-of-doors sexual release. He knew who to blame for that, he just refused to think about it, or him.

In fact, in the years since school, he’s gone far, far out of his way to avoid both thoughts of Lily and thoughts of Remus Lupin as he searched for new and interesting alleyways to do the deed. Since he’d learned pretty early in his life that he couldn’t rely on anyone for anything, he learned all the ways in which he could get himself off.

He’d spilled his spunk in Sydney, jerked his johnson in Jakarta and wanked his willie in Winnipeg, all in the attempt to get free of his past. And it wasn’t until that last stop that he felt he was far enough away from memories... and him. Canada was lovely, but it was also bloody cold for this sort of outdoor activity. So he traveled south. There really were some lovely alleyways in the States, and even more dark and sketchy ones.

After starting his professorship at Hogwarts, he had to relegate these excursions to the summer months, but it was more than acceptable at first. The wait was sometimes the best part—well, the second best part. He spent months imagining the places he would go. New York City? Yes, he’d had some lovely times in the alleys of the Lower East Side of Manhattan. There was something so delicious about hearing all the nightlife and everyday life going on just feet away as you stroked yourself in desperate pants and groans. Portland? That was where he discovered there were some alleyways where young men hung out to offer their services.   An oddly well-lit alley in the Haight of San Francisco was where he discovered that he still enjoyed giving as much as receiving. Nashville he learned there are alleys—towns—entire states to avoid. But New Orleans, ah, New Orleans he discovered the wonderful that is the Glory Hole.

If there was anything as pleasurable and satisfying as getting yourself off, it was having some faceless, nameless stranger do it for you. No muss, no fuss.

So, he ran, further and further away, every summer, every holiday, any time he had a free, long weekend. He wrapped himself up in his long cloaks and his isolation and he ran. He spent his school year suffering through adolescents all over again and again and again—a new onslaught each year. It was some kind of penance he paid for the things he’d done, for the protection Dumbledore promised. What got him through the constant imbecilic nattering of students, the suspicious eyes of his fellow professors, and especially the memories around every corner of Lupin and what they had done and had been, was his time away, where he could do anything, fuck anyone and just be. It wasn’t much, but it was enough and he had carved out a life for himself using these coping methods.

Until the year that Dumbledore came to him and informed him who would be replacing Lockhart as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Severus Snape spent the week after that, the week before he’d have to return to school, return to his own personal purgatory and face his own personal demon in the most unlikely of places: Las Vegas.

He spent his days holed up in a fleabag Muggle motel, its only saving grace was its air conditioning. It made the room  smell vaguely of burnt plastic, but it also made the temperature tolerable. The nights he spent wandering around The Strip, finding adequate alleyways and hideaways to relieve the pressure of his life; of his past coming back to haunt him.

He found satisfaction and an odd sense of peace with his hand pressed against the heat of a concrete wall of some nightclub service entrance, some casino’s rubbish bin depository, his trousers unfastened and down around his thighs along with his pants. Something powerful and freeing about having his cock in his other hand, sweat pooling in his collarbone, running along his neck as the heat of the day lingered on his skin, as the excursion of pumping his long-fingered fist up and down his shaft. He watched the neon that peeked down the filthy deserted alley dance along the walls in pinks and greens, as if giving him a show all of his own, and he smiled.

It was so far removed from the time and place he’d had with him that Severus didn’t even think of him for the first time in days. Except, of course, thinking about not thinking about him brought him instantly to mind. The sizzle he’d always felt just sitting beside Lupin, furtive side-glances and he never turned to Severus, but Severus felt his eyes all the same, felt him as if he had burrowed himself into Severus. Though, they never met each other’s eyes, he had a way of telling Severus that he felt him too, that Severus affected him the same. The quirk of a smile in the corner of his mouth, a flick of his tongue, wetting his lips.

Of course that time, on the way back to the castle from a Herbology class in 4th year and they had somehow separated from their friends and Lupin pulled him around, pushed him against a tree and kissed him had been a good indication of his feelings and how willing he was to get what he wanted. And Severus still tried to convince himself that it was the shock of the kiss that found him returning it and thinking about it days later.

For years after, that’s all they had. One or the other of them would randomly push the other against something and snog them, or jerk the other off, and once or twice, yes, when the atmosphere was right and they had nowhere else to be, they would suck each other’s cocks. Sure, why not. It didn’t mean anything.

And they never talked, not before and not after and certainly not during. The only words issued then were “Harder! Faster! Oh yes! YES!” nothing about sentiment or emotion at all, either devotion or loathing. And though there was no communication, there was an understanding between them that while Lupin remained friends with people that made Severus’ life a living hell, and Severus had friends that made Remus’ skin crawl, they would never have anything but groping and grinding, nothing but snogging, sucking and spitting.

Severus wasn’t sure if pushed to it, even now, if he could tell exactly what it was about Lupin that made him seek him out more and more through those years. It wasn’t their differences that attracted him, his Gryffindorness, the ease he had to smile and laugh, how simple it all seemed. It wasn’t even their similarities—which took a long time for Severus to even admit they had. Lupin was the only person at Hogwarts whose robes were shabbier than his, the only one whose air of childhood neglect was as prominent as Severus’. They both took their studies incredibly serious and while Remus seemed to make friends and fit in easily, the more Severus watched him, the more he saw the struggle, the self-doubt and loathing under the surface that Severus understood so well. And it certainly wasn’t the pathetic attempts he made and failed of getting his friends to leave Severus alone.

In the end, it didn’t really matter what started it. All that Severus remembered was what ended it—forever in his mind.

All he remembered is that dark, cold, cramped tunnel, the chill and terror running under his skin when he heard the howls reverberate the door ahead. He remembered Black’s smirk and the taunt, “Come along, Snivellus. Your skulking and stalking Remus’ every move all these years, what were you hoping to find? What were you so very curious about? Have you been wanting the truth, the truth of your obsession?”

He remembered James and how much he mimicked Lupin’s calm voice of reason, only with more authority and self-confidence. “Sirius, stop. This isn’t the way.”

“He wants the truth James, let’s show him the truth.”

“No.”

Then he remembered a roar from the other side of the door and then the sound of wood and metal splintering and bending. Years later, and the one thing he can never, ever forget no matter how many times, how many ways he tried, were those fangs, dripping with ravenous saliva and the desperate hunger in the eyes, that were so familiar and yet, so very different. He’d seen hunger in Remus’ eyes before when he had Severus pinned against some cobbled building’s facade, some dark alley, some tree trunk. Those eyes though, even when they were predatory and needy, there had been a kindness and a… fondness. But then? There in that doorway, there was only need to devour, to consume.

After that, Severus didn’t remember anything but a jumble of emotions, one becoming another. Fear to horror; horror to terror and then nothing but a warm, wet sensation running down his leg and building to a blinding rage that consumed him and sustained him for many years after.

The rage replaced everything else he might have ever imagined he felt for Remus Lupin. It was what he was struggling so hard to hold onto as he closed his eyes tight and stroked himself to completion with haggard breath and angry grunts. It was what he struggled even harder to hold on to when he finally saw him, once again on the grounds of Hogwarts, where it had all started and ended all those years before.

He tried to remember the teeth and eyes that howled murder and not the smile that was there now when he said, quiet and unsure, “Hello, Severus, it’s good to see you.”

“Lupin,” Severus snarled his one word reply before turning on his heels and swishing his robes and himself away.

He vowed to himself that he’d stay as far away from Lupin as he could, and after the Opening Ceremony, he did pretty well.

For about a week.

“Thank you both for meeting me here,” Dumbledore began when Severus walked into his office where he’d been summoned. He hadn’t even known anyone else was in there when he entered. He looked around the room and his blood instantly boiled.

“Lupin,” he said in what he hoped didn’t sound like a snarl. He remembered the last time it had been the three of them in that office. How there had been a long lecture on the nature and misunderstanding about werewolves and how many protections they had set in place. Then there was a bit of what Severus understood later was pleading and a bit of begging. From Professor Dumbledore. Professor Dumbledore had begged him, had pleaded with him to keep the secret.

And he had kept it.

The other thing he asked of Severus, the other thing he begged him to do he never could, he never would. He would never forgive, never forget.

No matter how sad Lupin’s eyes looked at him now, no matter how eager he seemed to make some sort of amends. Severus would never be able to get past it.

Never.

“...work together on this, all will remain safe.”

“I’m sorry, sir? My mind was wandering. What did you say?”

“Wolfsbane. We will need a monthly supply of Wolfsbane.”

“From me?”

“You are the Potions Master, are you not?”

“I am. And as such, my job is to teach the art of Potions, not to tame your pet.” He bit his lip.

“Your job,” Dumbledore said, pulling his glasses down to look over them, piercing Severus with his glance, “is to keep the students safe.”

Severus bowed his head.

Lupin said nothing throughout the meeting. But as Severus stood up to leave, he thought he heard a whispered, “Thank you,” which he chose to ignore.

So, once a month, Severus would take a freshly produced and extremely difficult potion to make to Lupin’s offices and wait for him to drink it down. Each time Lupin would be sickeningly cordial and each time Snape would be coldly curt.

“Severus, do come in. Would you like some tea?”

“No. Here.”

Lupin took the goblet with a sigh. “Thank you.”

He waited for Severus to set down before he sat across the desk from him. He emitted another heavy sigh before he raised the glass and took his first swallow. Severus looked away when Lupin swiped his tongue along his lips.

“This really is vile.”

Severus inwardly smirked. It should be vile. It should sicken and it should hurt. “Sorry, Professor. Not every medicine can taste like chocolate.”

“Don’t I know it.”

Remus drank some more. The silence filled the room. Severus would have much more preferred that then what came next.

“Did you ever get my letters, Severus?”

Severus took a deep breath. He hated the way that Lupin called him that. Like they were on a first name basis, like they were friends. Even when they had been… whatever they had been, Severus had never called him by his first name.

“Yes.”

“Did you read them?”

“Drink your potion.”

“None of them?”

Severus took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to talk to you before you tried to kill me, why would I want anything from you after?”

Remus looked down to his half-drunk potion. “Even if it were I’m sorry. Even if it were you were right?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t hear that, could you repeat it, please?” Severus said.

Remus drained the rest of his potion. “Like you said, why would you want to know?” He stood up. “Thanks for the potion. See you next month.”

The next month Remus was again polite and cordial and Severus was again cold and curt, but they didn’t talk as Remus drank his potion. Yet after, Severus felt even more drained and empty then he had the month before.

The next month it was Severus who started talking. “What was I right about?”

He was prepared for Lupin to be smug, to give him lip for wanting to know, to care. But, if he was smug, he hid it well.

“About Sirius. I should have… should have listened.” His voice broke.

Severus didn’t know how to respond to that. He wanted to be smug, of course he did, he wanted to shout I told you so from the rooftops, but the sadness in Lupin’s voice and eyes stopped him. Instead, he bowed his head. “Well, we were both a little blind when choosing friends. They both left their marks.” He pulled at his sleeve.

Remus gave him a slight smile.

It was almost like they could have become friends, could have got back some of the—whatever it was—that they had had in their youth. If it weren’t for two things: Harry Potter and an insufferable piece of magical parchment that when it wasn’t insulting Severus, bringing back all the rage he’d pushed to the back of his mind, it was leading him back to the place where he’d almost lost his life, back to Remus and his horrible choice of friends: Sirius Black.

It all came back; the rage, the fear, it was like stepping back in time. There was Black and Lupin, again too weak to stand up to his friend who had proved to be a liar and a murderer, there was even glimpses of James in his brat of a child who continued at every opportunity to think rules were for other people.

And then the terror of a full grown, unmedicated werewolf snarling and spitting in his face and this time instead of that terror turning to rage— that would come later— there was desperation as he threw himself between the wolf and children in his charge, children that he didn’t even like, that he’d repeatedly wished bad things upon. He’d never felt more heroic, never felt more confused by his own motives.

The rage came later when again Dumbledore swooped in and protected his pet; put the needs of a mass murderer over Severus’, over his students. This time when he’d asked, implored to keep the secret, Severus refused.

He told everyone. He got incredible satisfaction telling the tale. His rage might have got in the way of his earning a Order of Merlin First Class, but it tasted delicious when he saw Lupin walking along the path to Hogsmeade, dragging his suitcase behind him, his head hung down, completely and totally defeated.

Finally, he could get his life back; the life that didn’t have Lupin, or thoughts of Lupin in it. The life when he didn’t have to remember what had been so long ago, what would never be again.

He spent the last few days of school, when he wasn’t grading increasingly, depressingly horrid exams, planning his holiday travels. He would go to the States and find some nameless, faceless fun and relaxation. He had a sudden urge for hands and lips, teeth and tongue that weren’t his. He wanted to taste, smell and touch someone that wasn’t himself. He knew places he could find all of that and he was giddy to get there. He was practically buzzing with anticipation by the time he made his way to Hogsmeade and his first Apparition point. That was really the only excuse he had for how off guard he was, and how he allowed himself to be accosted right as he had made his Apparition turn.

It was a blur of wind, sea spray, cold and grey and it took him a moment to realize there were fingers clinging to his robes, hands pushing him against the rocky cliff of the coast of Labrador.

“Lupin!” Severus shouted, trying to push him away.

“Severus!” Remus shouted back, refusing to let go.

Severus had just Apparated the two of them over the entirety of the North Atlantic Sea; he could barely stand on his own, let alone fight off an assailant.

“What are you doing? Get off me? Why….?”

“I’ll let go if you promise you’ll listen,” Remus answered.

“I’ve told you over and over, I don’t care about anything you have to say.”

“And I’ve tried over and over to reach you. To… to… be with you.”

“Be with me? Are you mad? You’re a monster.”

Lupin took his hands off of Severus’ arms and put them on the side of his face, forcing Severus to look at him as he leaned into him. “You can hate me all you want. Hate me because I’m Gryffindor, hate me because I wasn’t strong enough to stop my friends from hurting you when we were children, but you can’t hate me for being a monster. You can’t hate me for something I have no control over, something that was done to me, done against my will when I was too young to fight…”

He leaned his forehead against Severus’, all his fight gone. “Just stop hating me. Please.

“I… I can’t…” Severus mumbled. The fight out of him as well. He was just so tired. So weary of the life he had, all that he didn’t have, or know how to acquire. “Why does it matter what I think? You have everything you could want. You have your best friend back, scumbag that he is; you have family, friends, Dumbledore on your side. You have everything.”

Remus laughed mirthlessly. “Now who’s the mad one? You really think that?” He reached for Severus hands and brought them to the side of his own face. “You’re the master Legilimens, read me. See all the things I can’t say. Could never say.”

Severus’ fingertips tingled at Remus’ temples. If he was being honest with himself—something he very rarely was—he’d admit there had been so many times that he’d been tempted to do this very thing. So many times with Lupin’s tongue in his mouth, so many times with his cock in Lupin’s mouth and he’d wanted so desperately to know what he thought, why he was there, why he chose Severus. He never imagined there would come a day that he would be allowed, would be invited in. “You’re giving me permission?”

Remus nodded his head. “Take it all. See it all. I don’t want to hide anything from you. I want you to see all the ways we are the same, all the ways we could maybe work.”

“Work?” Severus asked, but he didn’t answer. He just stood in front of Severus, his eyes wide open and inviting Severus to gaze in them and open his mind through them.

Severus stepped back and pulled his wand out. Lupin didn’t even flinch. He stood there and continued to welcome Severus in, even when Severus pointed the wand right at him. Severus was pretty sure he’d not be as calm if the roles were reversed.

Legilimens.”

He was hardly prepared for the onslaught of memories that came flooding through him. He’s there when Remus was attacked, he sees blood and ripped skin and bone, he feels the pain and fear. He’d been wrong all those years ago when he’d marked Remus as neglected. He saw now that it wasn’t neglect, it was worse, hopelessness and terror, isolation and secrecy. He saw a childhood even lonelier than his own, Remus’ only friend himself, his worst enemy himself as well.  

Now the memories are those first days of Hogwarts and there was another sort of terror, another sort of desperation. He could feel the yearning and taste the self-doubt and loathing telling him he didn’t deserve friends or kindness, that he was a monster that could hurt everyone and everything in his path. He felt the fear of that like a raw nerve through every interaction, every moment he spent in Remus’ mind as he experienced Remus tentatively making friends.

Suddenly, Severus realized why Remus could never stand up against them on Severus’ behalf, could never make his case persuasive enough. The fear of a wrong move, of any misstep leaving him frlendless and alone yet again. Severus understood that kind of fear, that immense need to belong somewhere, anywhere.

Severus understood what Remus meant about the similarities between them, about all the ways that they might be the same. He still didn’t see how that meant they could work, and he was just about to pull out of Remus’ mind, suddenly feeling the invasion of privacy this was, but he stopped. There was a warm and soft feeling of peace that washed over him and he was shocked to see the cause of this feeling was… him. Remus’ thoughts of him, Severus Snape, were his calm and serene, his comfort and peace.

Severus staggered back. Remus caught him.

“Did you get all you needed?” Remus asked calmly.

Severus just stared at him. There were so many questions, so many things he wanted to know: Why him? What attracted him from the start? What about now? Basically, all the questions he’d been asking himself for years. Suddenly though, he just didn’t care anymore. None of it mattered. He rushed Remus, pushing him against a boulder, the sea crashing behind them, kissing him before Remus could even catch his footing.

The kiss was only uncertain and sloppy for a moment before Remus returned it with his own passion and yearning. He wrapped his arms around Severus tight, pulling him closer, as close as he could. Severus growled and devoured Remus’ mouth with his tongue, his teeth, tasting years of longing and regret, years wasted and unrecoverable.

There was a hum working its way up Remus’ throat that Severus felt on his tongue and went straight to his cock. He growled again. The hum became a whine and Remus broke the kiss in a pant, “Severus.”

If Severus’ cock wasn’t already aching, that would have done it. Suddenly, it was the sweetest sound in the world. He licked his lips, tasting Lupin, wanting to taste even more. “Remus.”

Remus’ smile was equal parts angelic and devilish, but his eyes were pure sin. “Do you trust me?”

Severus cocked his eyebrow. “Is that  a trick question?”

Remus threw his head back and barked a laugh. “Do you trust me enough?”

“Enough for what?”

“To take us somewhere that we won’t freeze our balls off.”

Severus hadn’t even realized there was a chill until that moment. He had a list of places that they could go, but on this, he did trust Remus. Plus, he was always up for a new town to add to his itinerary.

“I’ll follow your lead this time, Remus.”

“This time?”

“Sometimes, you’ll have to trust me too.”

Now Remus’ smile was giddy. How did he do that? Severus marveled. How did he make it all seem so easy?

He pushed the thought out of his mind, along with any other thoughts as Remus grabbed his hands and twirled them with a pop. For a moment he didn’t notice any change. They were still on a beach, there was still a moonlit sea before them and a rocky cliff wall behind them, the only real difference was the temperature. Severus was suddenly sweltering in his robes.

He pulled at the buttons impatiently; Remus helped him, suddenly tentative. They looked at each other with a new sense of shyness.

“This is different than before, isn’t it?” Severus asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear the confirmation.

“We’re talking, that’s certainly different.”

Severus smiled. “Perhaps though,” he pulled his robe off and started at his belt, toeing out of his shoes, feeling his toes sink into the sand. “We could talk later?”

“Well, that would certainly be different.” Remus said as he removed his robes too, before reaching for Severus he muttered an impermeable spell. Severus smiled as he could still feel the wind blow the sand all around them, but couldn’t feel the miniscule grains penetrate through the spell.  

They stood intertwined looking at each other, as if each waiting for the other to make the first move. After an awkward moment, Remus barked a laugh. “We’re being pathetic.”

“Like school children, like we’d never done this before.”

“I don’t know about you, but it’s been a really long time for me.”

Severus bit his lip. No need to confirm his lonely life. Instead he leaned slowly towards Remus and feather-lightly touched his lips to Remus’. He ran his fingers lightly up Remus’ arms before wrapping them behind his head, gently fisting the hair at the nape of Remus’ neck. As Severus’ tongue explored Remus’ mouth, the hum was back in Remus’ throat and its reaction to Severus’ cock intensified.

Remus walked them slowly back to the cliff wall before breaking the kiss. Severus was slightly horrified about the whine that leaked out of him. Remus just smiled before pulling at Severus shirttails, his mouth ghosting along Severus’ chin and jaw.

“Better than I remembered,” Remus whispered, pulling the shirt off Severus’ arms.

Severus agreed. They’d never been naked before each other. Never been this exposed. He couldn’t speak for Remus, but the truth was, he’d never been this exposed. Remus took off his shirt too and looked nervously at Severus, who couldn’t help noticing all the crisscrossed scratches and scars along Remus’ torso and arms.

Severus brought one scarred wrist to his lips. “You’ll tell me about this some time?”

Remus nodded and reached for Severus’ wrist where the faded, but never washed clean Dark Mark was still etched along his skin. “And you’ll tell me about this?”

Severus bowed his head. “I guess we’ve both been monsters… but…” he looked up through his eyelashes. “We don’t have to be anymore.”

Remus smiled. “You keep me supplied with Wolfsbane and I’ll help you keep your demons at bay as well.”

Severus placed his head over Remus’ slow and strong beating heart and let Remus wrap his arms protectively around him. “Deal.”  
   
There were no more words needed, not that night. Some of it was sense-memory; the distinct taste of Remus’ cock in Severus mouth, his fingers tangled in Severus’ hair. Some of it was new and tantalizing; the way the damp, sea-sprayed sand felt under Severus, the way Remus explored Severus body, touching, kneading, tasting, licking and sucking, as if imprinting his scent and taste, as if marking Severus as his own.

Then there were the parts that held so much promise, promises of things to come, and a future. Remus straddled over him, his eyes aflame as he gazed at Severus, his hard cock resting on Severus’ belly button as he licked at Severus’ lips. He tasted the salt on Remus’ lips as he darted his tongue out to meet Remus’. Remus ground his middle into him and Severus panted urgently.

Remus hunched up on his knees and slid down so that his cock could lie beside Severus’. He bit Severus’ lip and tugged slightly as he wrapped his fingers around both of them. Severus gasped and then moaned some unintelligible syllables. Remus’ eyes danced as he slowly and deliberately rode their cocks in his hand, thrusting and stroking in a maddeningly slow pace for so long that Severus, his fingers digging into Remus’ arse, soon began begging for release.

“Please, Remus.”

“Say it again,” Remus panted through the exertion and strain.

“Please.”

“No. The other part.”

Severus looked at him, confused, then smiled and whispered, “Remus.”

That was apparently all Remus needed as he both increased his grip on their cocks and the speed of his strokes.

“Remus, Remus, Remus…” Severus chanted until his orgasm overrode the ability to form words. He wasn’t sure if the howl that rang through the starry night came from him or Remus, maybe both of them, he reasoned with a smile as Remus collapsed on top of him and he held on tight to him.

“So much promise, so much future,” Severus whispered against Remus’ moist temple. And as he lay there feeling in his own chest, Remus’ heartbeat, he imagined all the places they could go, all the things they could do. There were so many sights he’d never imagined sharing with anyone else, and yet, he couldn’t deny, even back then, even when he refused to remember, he’d always had it in the back of his mind the idea of Remus being there with him, experiencing it all with him.

He was anxious and buzzing to get started, imagining never having a need to sleep ever again, never wasting a single moment ever again. But, as he felt Remus’ heart slow and felt Remus go slightly boneless as he rolled off of Severus, curling against him in a sudden and deep sleep, Severus yawned too. Rolling onto his side and spooning against Remus, he held on tight. Tomorrow, he thought with another yawn.

After all, it had been a really long, exhausting year.
Comments 
21st April 2016 00:37
Oh.My.God. This is AMAZING! I LOVE what you did with my prompt, and it's so much MORE than I ever expected! When I saw it up, I went and got a glass of wine and settled in to read. Then snorted said wine out my nose at this:
He’d spilled his spunk in Sydney, jerked his johnson in Jakarta and wanked his willie in Winnipeg,

And then, you stabbed me in the heart:
So, he ran, further and further away, every summer, every holiday, any time he had a free, long weekend. He wrapped himself up in his long cloaks and his isolation and he ran.

The heart-rending pain of his anger and isolation...
The rage replaced everything else he might have ever imagined he felt for Remus Lupin. It was what he was struggling so hard to hold onto as he closed his eyes tight and stroked himself to completion with haggard breath and angry grunts.

This.... This is so much more than I could have imagined. And the ending, oh, thank you so much for that! Thank you for Remus being so persistent, so determined, so... hot.

“Please, Remus.”

“Say it again,” Remus panted through the exertion and strain.

“Please.”

“No. The other part.”

Severus looked at him, confused, then smiled and whispered, “Remus.”


So lovely.

Thank you thank you thank you!
16th May 2016 22:56
YAY! I'm so glad you liked it! I loved your prompt and openness to characters SO MUCH! I've really missed the boys together, so it had to be Snupin. ♥SIGH♥SNUPIN♥SIGH♥

Haha, I openly admit that that country alliteration idea came from a story I'd read a while back by [info]ragdoll, but the wizarding world does so love alliteration, yes? And that when the story was going to be fun and hi-jinx and no angsty.... yeah, about that... :(((
21st April 2016 02:27
I love this! This is my favorite pairing for all the reasons you highlight, the antagonism, the dark secrets, the need. Thank you!
16th May 2016 23:01
Awww! Thank you!

*sigh*SNUPIN*sigh*
21st April 2016 02:51
Oh my WORD!!! Wow, that was some storytelling there! I really liked the underlying and intertwined anger and desire that Severus has for Remus. Talk about being conflicted for so long... LOL.
I loved that no matter how far he went, he really couldn't escape himself eh.

Loved persistent!Remus too, bless him.
16th May 2016 23:03
Thank you! I just love these boys so much!
21st April 2016 11:44
Oh, I love so much about this that I don't know where to start. Everything I love about this pairing, all in one. It's just perfect and this is an utterly inadequate comment.
16th May 2016 23:04
It's just perfect and this is an utterly inadequate comment.

Are you serious? You used "perfect" and "love" in relation to something I wrote? Comments don't get any better than that. ♥

Thank you so much!
21st April 2016 12:20
Gods, but that was amazing. I just fell in love with the story you're telling me and everything, everything it tells me about Severus and Remus. I could understand much better and see why that year was so hard on Severus, this resentment he carried all these years. The small ways he found to be free. It's beautiful in every way and I love it.

This ending is perfection, after everything, the history they shared, this moment of happiness is perfect. <33
16th May 2016 23:05
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR MAKING ME AND MY STORY BETTER! YOU'RE THE BEST!

♥♥♥
22nd April 2016 13:45
Loved the jerking his junk in Jakarta, or whatever it was. *g*
Great that Severus finally gets closure for his werewolf-related trauma at the Shrieking Shack, and Remus is so open to him.
More power to their, er, elbows. *g*
16th May 2016 23:07
Haha, thank you! I fully admit to having got the idea from a fic I read (or actually had read to me) by [info]ragdoll years ago and it just stuck with me. ♥

♥♥
24th April 2016 02:13
Ah, you've reminded me why this is one of my favorite m/m pairings. You do such a fine job of characterizing them both and of building the sex and attraction into their characters (always my favorite sort of kink fic). Overall, you've built full, detailed world that really works. I particularly like the way you develop the similarities and differences between Snape and Lupin.

He’d spilled his spunk in Sydney, jerked his johnson in Jakarta and wanked his willie in Winnipeg,
Ahahaha!
16th May 2016 23:08
♥♥ Thank you dear, both for the kind words here and your rec on your journal. Means the world to me! ♥♥
24th April 2016 03:42
Beautiful writing, MA! Almost lyrical. :)
And this: “So much promise, so much future,” Severus whispered against Remus’ moist temple. sums the story up perfectly I think.
Gorgeous job!
16th May 2016 23:17
Thank you! I'm glad you liked that line. I struggled at the end with a fear of being too sappy, but my beta reassured me that line was right on the proper side of the line. Glad she was correct. ♥♥
29th April 2016 21:02
This was wonderful! Loved Severus's love of getting off in public and the way that desire was always humming in the background and so intwined with his feelings for Remus. Really interesting seeing bits of the thirds book from his perspective and a lovely, hopeful ending!
16th May 2016 23:16
Thank you so much! Those were exactly the things I'd hoped readers would take away from this story! I'm glad they came through for you.

♥♥
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