...And we're back with this year's naughty numbers! Some of the tallies are fairly predictable, based on what we've seen in previous years, while others are quite surprising.

This year we're looking at a total of 39 pieces. The number is down slightly from the last couple of years, but we wanted to keep things a little smaller to see if we could prevent some of the usual "fest burnout". We're anticipating a big boost in that total next holiday season, however, so look forward to a big bang (or many of them) a little less than eleven months from now!

Anyway! *ahem* Let's see how the numbers break down this time...

We are officially declaring 2014 to be the Year of the Woman in HP fandom. Stick with us a bit and you'll see why...


The breakdown of those 39 pieces:

Slash: 18
Het: 14
Femslash: 5
Mixed(those containing some combination of slash/het/femslash): 2

Or viewed another way:

Pieces containing slash: 20
Pieces containing het: 16
Pieces containing femslash: 6

We've seen a rise in the ranks for het and femslash over the last few years, and that trend has definitely continued this holiday season! This is the first time that more than half the pieces -- 54%, in fact -- have featured females in flagrante delicto. The other 46% contained strictly cocks.


Now for specific characters...

Our pieces featured 30 unique characters. Of those, 16 were female and 14 were male.

And once again, we had characters who were entirely new to Kinky Kristmas! This time we saw first appearances from Argus Filch, Dolores Umbridge, Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank, Professor Sinistra, and Mrs. Zabini. Given that Kinky Kristmas has been running with this format for six years now, we're thrilled that new characters are still popping up. Welcome aboard!


So which characters were getting some with the greatest frequency?

Harry has solidly reclaimed the top spot, having been featured in 13 pieces -- that's one third of the total number! Apparently he didn't appreciate being knocked down by the Snape-Draco Slytherin duo last year. In any case, he certainly showed his Gryffindor spirit by plunging in head-first (*cough*) to beat out the competition this time!

Speaking of Snape and Draco, they're down but definitely not out. They tied for second place with 10 appearances each. We suspect that Harry will need to watch out for the two of them coming up behind him next year. (We'd like to watch it too...)

This is where things become rather different from previous years...

There's a bit of a gap after those top three. Our third place participant was Neville -- and it's his first time scoring in the upper ranks of this category! However, he did so with only 5 appearances. Still, this was his best year yet. It would seem that lopping off the heads of giant Horcrux-snakes with jewel-encrusted swords does wonders for one's popularity. Food for thought, hmm?

Finally, we have a four-way tie for fourth place. Featured in 4 pieces each were Remus, Sirius, Ron, and... Lavender! Although she's certainly not new to Kinky Kristmas, Lavender was in no way a minor character this year, and she suddenly skyrocketed to the top of the list of most popular women!


This was, however, not the Weasleys' year. Although they enjoyed remarkable popularity in 2013, appearing in nearly a third of the pieces, this year they dropped back down to only 8 pieces amongst them. As a matter of fact, Fred, George, and Percy were not featured at all! This is the second year running that the twins have been mysteriously MIA, but this is the first time in Kinky Kristmas history that we've seen neither hide nor hair of Percy. We can only assume Fred-n-George are keeping him tied up with their impish antics someplace more private. (And we want someone to write allllll about it next year!)


Setting our voyeuristic preferences aside, which characters were most popular with each other?

Two characters banged 7 partners apiece to share the top spot. The first probably comes as no surprise: Harry, the Boy Who Lived to Boff Lots. The other, though, is someone who's never before landed in the upper echelons here before: Neville! And we have to say, he landed there with fine flair.

And we have a three-way tie for second place! Snape, Draco, and Lavender all showed their O face to 6 partners.

We'd also like to give Luna a third place mention for her 4 partners. Our former high performer and two-time winner of the Most Adventurous Sex Life Award was surprisingly quiet in 2012 and nowhere to be seen at all in 2013, but perhaps her rise in popularity this year means she's gearing up for a big comeback? (Daily Deviant: Where the word "comeback" has more possible meanings than anywhere else on the internet!)


Who's bumpin' uglies with who the most? This is one area where the numbers aren't too surprising:

Harry/Draco: 6 (including 1 threesome with Neville)
...And note that they're the top pair for the fourth year running! Can anyone stop this momentum? Maybe one of these pairings can manage it next time:

Snape/Sirius: 3 (including 1 threesome with Remus)
Snape/Remus: 3 (including 1 threesome with Sirius)

A large number of other pairings enjoyed 2 appearances apiece, but no more than that. The three pairs that appeared on the list for the first time ever last year (Sirius/Remus, Snape/Draco, and Sirius/James) only appeared twice, once, and not at all, respectively, so it seems their popularity was brief. Maybe they can prove us wrong in 2015? Or maybe an entirely new pairing will rise up??


And the moment you've all been waiting for (or not?)... It's time for this year's Most Adventurous Sex Life award! It's a really tough call this time, but in the end we're going to have to say the award goes to Neville! Although he mostly stuck to partners of his own generation who were familiar from his school days, the activities he engaged in with them were many and varied. Among other things, we saw him find some interesting uses for whipped cream and cherries with Bill, very firmly call the shots with Pansy, and participate in a polyamorous foursome with Harry, Luna, and Ginny. Frankly, the cockwrapping with Luna was probably enough to win him this award alone; the rest is just the icing on the cake cherry on the cock!

A very close contender for the award, though, was Lavender. It's not often that you see someone get their kink on with two Weasleys, the Chosen One, and a Quidditch star all in one day (sequentially, even). Most impressive, though, is her unique relationship with Padma which blurs gender lines in the most unusual and erotic ways.


And finally, this year's most unusual pairing...? Another very tough one, given the range of characters who made an appearance this time around. A solid argument could be made for a number of pairings, but in the end we're going to go with Professor Sinistra/Pansy for having minor character, femslash, and age gap factors.


That's that for the Wacky Stats! Congrats to all for another collection of surprising and diverse pieces! Remember to come back tomorrow evening at 7:00 pm U.S. Eastern time for reveals. See you in 21 hours!