Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: lunalovepotter
From: luvscharlie

Title: Sugar Rush
Characters/Pairings: Harry Potter/Lavender Brown
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Lavender owning a bake shop, Smoker!Harry, cupcakes, curvy Lavender, a dash of humour
Other Warnings/Content: Past Harry/Ginny, the sex is a little vanilla, might have been a little hotter if they would have shut their mouths, alludes to drug use.
Word Count: 6045
Summary/Description: Lavender has started her own business and things are slow. Harry speeds them up.
Author's Notes: I'm not sure how Pansy wormed her way into the story, but she did, and I sort of love her. So kudos to her for arriving when I didn't realise I needed her. I often wonder why we always seem to assume that if we didn't see a sibling in the books, they just didn't have one. It's part of that whole Harry's viewpoint thing-- in this fic, Lavender is a younger sibling. Also, my recipient owes me new pants. You can't keep writing about cupcakes without eventually caving to the pressure. Thank you to the mods for their patience and my beta for her lightning speed



December 21st

The bake shop was empty, all except for Pansy and Lavender. It should have been a flurry of activity by now. It wasn't.

"Pansy, bake another batch of cupcakes, won't you?" Lavender said, bustling about and wiping chocolate frosting onto her apron, which looked like it had been in a war with several different coloured batches of frosting, and it had lost the battle.

"What's the fucking point?" Pansy put down her polish applicator and frowned at her bright red nails. "We have fifteen batches already and you haven't sold a single cuppy, have you?"

Lavender wrinkled her brow and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, fucking hell. That's your determined face. I hate your determined face almost as much as I despise this colour. Harlot, my arse. No respectable harlot would wear this rubbish." She used her wand and vanished away the offending polish.

"I said we need another bath of cupcakes. I just know those lemon ones are going to be a smashing hit. And 'cuppy' isn't even a word. You're just making stuff up in an attempt to get under my skin. It's not working." Her voice was almost a sing-song melody.

"The determined face and the voice of optimism." Pansy shook her head. "I hate to bust your bollocks, Lav, but--"

"You love to bust bollocks. Mine and anyone else's who happens to cross your path, Parkinson."

"Ooh, bringing out the use of the last name. I've touched a nerve, eh? True enough about my ball-bashing propensity, but I'm taking pity on you today. You know this is never going to work, right? I mean, I've gone along with it for a while, love, but it has got out of control."

Lavender felt her lip begin to quiver. This was going to work. It had to work. It was all she had left. She had taken her entire savings, and Pansy had thrown an equal amount her way (a mere pittance for the Parkinsons-- but since Pansy had married Lavender's brother, Luke, she had been rather financially generous in helping Lavender follow her dream), to open this bake shop. She felt a tear as it hit her cheek and despite her attempts at bravery, there was no bringing it back or hiding it.

"Oh fuck. Fuckity, fuck, fuck. Luke is going to cane me if he hears I made you cry... you know, cry again... of course, not that I don't love it when he plays rough, but--"

Lavender put her fingers in her ears, and Pansy had to forcibly remove them. "Look, Lav, you know I love you, right?"

Lavender shook her head. "No, you just want my brother to shag you senseless all the time, so you're nice to me."

Pansy seemed to be having an internal debate as to whether to respond in denial-- "Well, okay. True point. I couldn't stand you when Luke and I got married, but since, I've come to find you tolerable... usually... mostly when you're not blabbering about, but you know what I mean."

"That I'm okay, if I never have an opinion or open my mouth?"

"Oh good, you understand then. I was worried I was messing that up." Pansy took a deep breath. "Dear little Lavender, I just--"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a four year old. You married my older brother, but you and I are still the same age, you bint."

"There's that spark that I hate. Your brother thinks you're as sweet as all these treats you bake, but I know differently. There's a real bitch in there." Fluffing her short bobbed hair, Pansy looked around the shop. "We've opened a bake shop in the dead centre of Knockturn Alley, love. How many witches do you think visit Knockturn Alley for a sweet?"

"We couldn't afford anything else."

"I completely could have given you more. You just wouldn't take it!"

Pansy was correct. Lavender had simply refused to let Pansy contribute more than half the start up cost, and because of that, they had taken the only space they could afford-- the last shop on the left side of Knockturn Alley. It certainly wasn't a prime location, but even dark witches and wizards ate-- and who didn't love sweets?

Just as Lavender was about to say something particularly nasty to her sister-in-law, the little bell on the door chimed. It was the sweetest sound Lavender had ever heard. It signalled their very first customer. She pasted her 'happy-to-see-you' smile on and whirled around to discover a wrinkled old wizard in their shop. "Hello, sir."

"Um, hello." He seemed confused as he looked around the shop interior, painted bright cotton-candy pink. Lavender had magicked large, brightly coloured candies and cakes onto the walls and even magicked a few to dangle from the ceiling, all against Pansy's protests.

"How many cupcakes can I box up for you, sir? What flavours? Frosting-- oh, do we have frosting. You are going to love it."

The old wizard at the door was still looking around as if all the pink was hurting his eyes.

Despite trying to be a cheery shop owner, Lavender was growing impatient. This was her first customer and she was ready to make the sale. "So, what flavours? You look like a bloke who loves lemon, yeah?"

His wide eyes were still working their way around the shop. "Flowers come in lemon?" he asked. "When did that start happening?" His eyes were everywhere. "Also, do the sweets come free when I order the flowers?"

"What flowers?" Lavender was losing her patience, and Pansy was sniggering annoyingly behind her.

The wizard scratched his head, then scratched his bum, making Lavender grimace and making Pansy laugh louder. "Well, I was coming to get flowers for my Great Aunt Ethelberry's birthday. I was sort of hoping for some dead ones since I don't like her all that much anyway."

Through gritted teeth Lavender said, "This is not a flower shop."

"But it says 'Lavender and Pansy' on your sign!"

"Told you that was a dumb idea," Pansy said.

"Shut it."

"Well, I did." Pansy began to make the 'Lavender voice' again. "We have to put our names on the sign! It's our shop after all."

"Well, you didn't try and stop me."

"I did," Pansy insisted. "You just never listen."

"Oh, shut the fuck up." Lavender had lost all control.

"So, about Great Aunt Ethelberry's flowers..."

They both looked at the man and pointed simultaneously at the door. "Get out!"

The poor old wizard couldn't get to the door fast enough, he nearly knocked over the wizard standing out in the doorway of their shop... and was that a fag in the younger wizard's mouth? It was! Lavender hastily made her way to the door. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't smoke in our doorway! You'll scare off all our customers. Nobody wants to walk through a cloud of smoke on their way in to get sweets... and Oh. My. God. You're Harry fucking Potter!"

She jerked the fag from his fingers and tossed it on the ground, grinding it out with the toe of her shoe.

Harry looked longingly at his now crushed cigarette. "Hello, Lavender." He sighed.

"What are you doing in Knockturn Alley? Only deviants, evil-doers and general bad guys come here."

"And apparently people who have a general prejudice against smokers." He sighed again.

"What are you doing in Knockturn Alley? Does your girlfriend know you're here?"

Harry pulled another fag from his cloak pocket, lit it with the tip of his wand and took a long draw. Lavender felt a shiver to the tip of her toes. There was nothing like a rebel to get her blood boiling. It was one of her weaknesses. Almost more than chocolate.

However, she was a shop owner first and foremost and this was bad for business. She jerked it from his hand and tossed it away again. "No smoking in front of my shop."

"Oh come on. If I do this at the Ministry there's always some ridiculous reporter there ready to snap a picture of poor, recently single Harry Potter who is drowning his sorrows in nicotine and alcohol-- Have a heart, and keep me off the front page, yeah?" He pulled out another cigarette, but when Lavender turned her serious face on him, he tucked it, unlit, behind his ear. "I can't catch a break anywhere."

"Look, Harry, it's not that I don't sympathise with your celebritydom-- well, actually, I couldn't give a witch's tit about it-- but you can't go scaring off my customers, regardless."

Harry looked over Lavender's shoulder into the empty shop. "Yeah, I see. Good thing you got here when you did. I would have single-handedly stopped your obviously successful sweets shop."

"Do you want me to kick you in your balls? Don't think I won't. I'm wearing my pointy shoes."

"I'm a potential customer, you know." Harry looked into the sweet bakery again.

Lavender was not to be swayed. "You're a potential customer when you buy something. Until then, you are a potential kicking target... and I have some pent up aggression that needs to come out."

"Not to be nitpicky, but when I buy something I'm an actual customer, not a potential one." Harry looked at Lavender's face and took a cautious step back. "Was it your charming demeanour that had that other wizard running out of here like Voldemort was chasing him?"

"No, that was probably because I chose a poor business partner and Pansy's a scary bitch. She's not nice like me."

"Pansy Parkinson?"

"Shut up, Harry."

"Pansy fucking Parkinson?"

"I said shut up." Lavender drew back her foot in warning.

Harry held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay!" He looked through the shop window. "Since you aren't going to let me smoke, you think I could come in and get a treat?"

"You can come in and buy a treat. Boy heroes don't get special treatment in my shop!" She crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Pansy in there? Despite being the biggest bitch I know, she always did have a hot little arse. And since Ginny decided not to be with me, I'm available."

That was it. Lavender was sick and tired of her "hot" little sister-in-law getting all of the male attention. Lavender, herself, wasn't stick thin, she had larger hips and big tits and her body was certainly not going to grace the cover of PlayWizard anytime soon, but dammit she was tired of that being all men were interested in. She pulled her foot back, pointy shoes and all, and aimed directly for the boy hero's balls. Unfortunately, he'd already pushed past her into the shop in pursuit of Pansy, and she nearly landed herself right on her ample bum.

She stomped into the shop on Harry's heels. He was leaning across the counter talking to Pansy. Lavender watched the light go out of his eyes when he spotted Pansy's wedding ring. Ha!

Lavender continued her stomping moodily behind the counter. She only perked up slightly when Pansy said, "Look, sis, we've made our first sale. Potter's buying a dozen of the lemons."

Lavender mumbled under her breath, "Only cause your arse isn't for sale."

"What?" Pansy said.

"Nothing. Just glad we made our first sale is all."

One hour later...

"Why are you so grumpy?" Pansy asked. "I thought you'd be over the moon that you sold a dozen of your cupcakes."

"Harry only bought those because he was trying to get into your knickers."

"Well, my knickers are a fabulous little red lace number, albeit taken."

"Didn't stop you from flirting like the whore you are." Lavender was showing no mercy.

"Okay, that was brutal. Even for you. I was trying to make a sale."

"What were you selling? My cupcakes or your soul?"

"Okay, Bitchy the Witch, what crawled into your knickers and twisted them in a knot?"

"Well, not Potter, he was far too busy trying to crawl into yours." Lavender wanted the words back as soon as she said them. Her secret crush on Harry Potter was her secret. Besides it was a teenage thing and she was a grown up now, and it was silly. She was over it. Mostly. Really.

Well, she had been until he brought his deliciously skinny little behind to her door and she'd seen him with that cigarette dangling from his lips and he'd been all hot... and stupid... and a dork... and she didn't like him at all. So there.

"Lavender," Pansy said, "do you like Potter? You know like him, like him?"

"Like him, like him? Really? Oh, for Merlin's sake, are you ten years old?"

"You do!" Pansy clapped her hands like a small, excited child. "Oh, you do!"

"Shut up." Lavender looked anywhere but directly at her sister-in-law. "Besides, it doesn't matter, he's not interested in me. He couldn't wait to get in here and attempt to get in your knickers."

"As if that would ever happen. I'm far too good for him. But you-- you'd be perfect together."

Lavender crossed her arms over her ample bosom. "Do you actually hear the words in your head before they come out that big, vile mouth of yours?"

"What? What'd I say? I'm just trying to help you out. You know, play matchmaker."

"Between me and someone you wouldn't look twice at?"

"Of course. We have different standards. You know, because I have standards. And you have a cold, empty bed." Pansy gave an excited squeal. "Oh, I do love a challenge!"

"You know I hate you, right?"

Pansy clicked her tongue sympathetically. "Maybe you won't be such a bitter old hag if you ever get a dick in you."

"I hate you so much."

The next day, December 22nd...

Lavender arrived at the shop before the sun came up, and there was already a line of witches outside the door. Pansy had got there first and she was in the kitchen baking faster than Lavender had ever seen her bake. In fact, Lavender wasn't sure she ever had seen Pansy bake. She rushed forward to help. "What the hell is going on out there?"

"Oh, little sister," Pansy said, sympathetically, "those are customers. Real live customers."

"Are you sure they're ours?" Lavender asked in disbelief.

"Apparently. Potter took his dozen lemons back to the Ministry yesterday and passed them out. They were such a hit that everyone showed up this morning to get their own dozen. Do you believe it?"

Lavender shook her head in disbelief. "Not really. No." She pulled out one of the cupcakes from the dozen Pansy had just baked and gave it a taste, spitting it immediately into the bin. "Get out of the way. If you sell that, we'll be back to zero customers tomorrow."

They baked all morning. Pansy was only allowed to frost them and box them and smile pretty at the customers. Which Lavender had to admit she did very well. Normally snide Pansy had taken a backseat to really-loves-her-Galleons-that-buy-pretty-things Pansy. And Lavender was in heaven. She loved to bake. She loved to hear the happy exclamations of the customers leaving with their sweets. By lunch time, the crowd was still coming in a steady stream, but Lavender had refilled the case and they were shopping from the sweets that were already there giving her a reprieve from the heat of the kitchen.

She came out into the shop and looked toward the door, and there he was standing in the door way with a cigarette dangling from his lips and blowing a perfect smoke ring into the air. Lavender marched to the door and out, holding out her hand. "Give it over."

"You cannot be serious. I got you all this business and you still won't let me smoke here?"

"Nobody wants to walk through your smoke cloud to get my delicious treats."

Harry took another puff and blew a smoke ring right around her head. Lavender coughed, sputtered and swatted the smoke away. She wanted to hate smoking. It was bad for you. It stank. It was overall gross. And damn, did Harry Potter look sexy with that cigarette dangling from his lips? He did. But not everyone was as big a sucker for a rebel as she. And she was a new business owner.

"Take your cigarette elsewhere or I'm going to hex your skinny arse. You're interfering with my business."

Harry looked back into the shop. "Looks to me like I'm the reason your business isn't bankrupt."

"You are not."

"Are too. I told everyone about this place. Most of these wizards and witches wouldn't dare go into Knockturn Alley."

"Except that my lemons are to die for and they were willing to risk their reputations."

"Because I gave them a taste of your cupcakes!" Harry took another drag. "You could say thank you, you know."

"Thank you. Now put out the cigarette."

Harry chuckled and Lavender felt her skin go tingly. It was a lovely sound. He tossed his cigarette away without bothering to stub it out first and adjusted his glasses. Another gesture that had her feeling tingly. She always did have a thing for a man in glasses. "What's it going to take to get you to let me smoke here?"

"I absolutely refuse to allow it."

"Oh good," Harry smirked, "you're going to be reasonable."

"Very reasonable. I'm a business woman. Business women need customers."

"What if I promise to be a very good customer? I'll come here every day and--"

"We're closed on Sundays. You can smoke here on Sundays." Lavender turned to go back inside.

"What if I buy two dozen each day I come to smoke?"

She stopped. "Don't be ridiculous. You couldn't eat two dozen cakes if you tried. You're a skinny little rat."

"I could give them out to potential customers at the Ministry. Tell them all about your struggling little shop here in Knockturn Alley. Encourage them to give it a try."

Lavender saw an opportunity. "Six dozen, and my shop's not struggling."

Harry pulled another cigarette from his pocket and tucked it behind his ear. She felt her legs go a little weak at the gesture. Fucking hell, that's all rebel-hot! "Four dozen."

Hot or not, she was standing her ground. "Six." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Five and I get a discount."

"A discount? Ha! Not even going to happen. Smoking is bad for you. If you want to kill yourself, you'll pay nicely for it."

"You drive a hard bargain, Brown. It's a good thing you're cute." Harry turned to go into the shop. "Guess, I'll go get my six dozen and get out of your doorway."

Lavender couldn't remember a single thing that happened the rest of the day. She was fixated on the word "cute". Damn Potter and his charm.

December 23rd

The shop was busier than ever. They were really working hard to keep up with the demand for their customers' cupcakes orders. Despite her busy kitchen, Lavender kept coming from the back of the shop to take a peek at he doorway.

She found at the end of the day she was deflated to discover that Harry Potter had not come to smoke there today. Maybe she should have agreed to give him that discount...

December 24th

Christmas Eve brought the shop a new batch of customers. All wanting their cupcakes before Noon so that they could get home early to family and friends with cupcakes they would, no doubt, pass off as their own home-baked creations.

Before Noon, Lavender didn't have much of a chance to get out of the kitchen, but after Noon, the shop was quiet.

She wandered toward the front of the shop and encountered Pansy, once again painting her nails. Her sister-in-law, of late, seemed to know what Lavender was thinking and it was bloody annoying. "He didn't come yet."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lavender retorted.

"Of course you don't. Short, skinny, fucking disaster of a haircut. Him. He didn't come yet."

"Bugger off, Pansy. You might just as well go home to Luke. I can hold down the shop. Looks like most of the people are gone for the day anyway."

Pansy capped her nail polish bottle quickly. "You're serious?"

"Yeah, I mean--"

"Out of my way. You don't have to tell me twice. I have a Santa dress at home that is going to drive your brother round the bend and--"

Lavender put her fingers in her ears and began to sing loudly. "Oy, get out!"

Two hours later...

The shop was at a standstill. Lavender hadn't sold a single cupcake since Pansy had gone. She'd even resorted to painting her nails with Pansy's harlot polish when the bell signalled a customer. She looked up to find Harry Potter standing at her counter with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips.

"You can't smoke in here."

"It's closing time. No one's going to know. Besides, you haven't had a customer in hours."

"Oh yes I have-- wait, how do you know that?"

Harry blushed. "Might have been watching from across the street. You know, or something."

"Why would you do that?"

"It's Christmas Eve and dinner at the Weasleys' house would be a little awkward what with Ginny and I splitting up. Can't really say I have anywhere else to go. Thought you might fancy some help cleaning up." He looked at her harlot polish. "Or I could repaint your nails for you; you're rubbish at it."

"I'm not!"

Harry took a long drag on his cigarette. "You are. Looks like a five year old painted them. I like the colour though."

"You would."

"Make me some coffee and I'll fix them up for you." Harry grinned and she felt butterflies in her stomach.

"There's a coffee house two streets over. I'm not making you coffee."

"Then come with me. I'll buy you a coffee and paint your nails."

"A responsible business owner can't just abandon her shop anytime she wants a date."

"Who said anything about a date? I was just talking about coffee." Harry was smiling again, and she had to admit he had a wonderful smile. Not that she ever would admit it aloud. But he did.

"I'm not leaving my shop."

"Fine then." Harry was gone with a loud pop, and Lavender felt her heart sink. Whoever said a girl should play hard to get was a real moron. This day had had promise and all promise was gone with a sharp pop. She was alone again in her shop. She gave the counter a smart kick and grabbed a cupcake from the case and bit into it.

Another loud pop made her shriek in surprise. "You have frosting on your nose. Eating up your profits is bad business, by the way."

"Fucking hell, Potter! You scared me!"

"Nobody likes to be caught with frosting on their nose. Here, I brought you a coffee. Drink it while its hot."

"Do you always sneak up on people while they eat?"

Harry passed her the coffee. "Most people just say thank you."

"Thank you."

Harry's finger touched the tip of her nose and came away with frosting. He popped his finger into his mouth. "That's really good. I don't think I've tried that one."

"It's very berry goodness."

"It tastes better than it sounds. That name is ridiculous."

Lavender nodded. She thought so too. "Pansy's idea. I wanted Raspberry Delight."

Harry took a sip of his coffee and lit another cigarette. She didn't even bother to tell him to stop smoking. It was dead sexy and there were no customers about. "How did you end up with Pansy Parkinson as a business partner?"

"She married my brother and agreed to fund half the shop." Lavender shrugged her shoulders and took the cigarette from his mouth, taking a drag herself.

"I didn't know you had a brother, Brown."

"I guess Harry Potter doesn't know everything. Not like you ever took any time to get to know me back at school."

Harry drummed his fingers along the counter. "It was hard to have a real conversation with you. Most of the time I spent in your company, you had your tongue down Ron's throat."

"He was a good kisser. It wasn't hard to snog him all day."

Defensively, Harry retorted, "No way he's a better kisser than I am."

"Having no way to compare, I couldn't say. But I've kissed a lot of men, and so far, Ron's the best kisser by far."

"He's all spit and fumbling."

"So you've kissed him a lot, have you?" Lavender couldn't contain her laugh at the horrified look that crossed Harry's face. She couldn't stop herself from pushing on either. "Great hands too. He can slip them into your knickers in a room full of people without anyone noticing. Do you find that to be true as well, Harry, or is it harder when you don't wear those short school skirts?"

"You can fucking stop it right now."

"And those long skinny fingers of his. If he turned them just the right way, he could hit your g--" She couldn't finish because Harry was around the counter and crashing his lips down on hers. His lips were warm and his breath was a mingle of cigarette smoke and coffee. One hand was tangled in her hair and tugging hard, and his body was pinning her against the counter. She bumped the cash register with her elbow and heard it ding. Harry Potter was a fucking good kisser, and he seemed to be working hard to make sure she knew it. Perhaps in competition with his old school friend--there was no competition. Those had been teenage fumbling kisses-- she'd only been having him on-- these were the kisses of grown adults who knew what they wanted.

They broke apart and Harry's glasses were a little askew. "Sorry, Lavender, but you're hard to shut up. You sort of made me do that."

"So you didn't want to then? I made you kiss me?"

"I have a reputation to protect. I'm a far better kisser than Ron Weasley."

Lavender cocked her head as if considering this. "Well, you weren't exactly bad. But I'd say it was too close to call. I think Ron may still have you beat by about this much." She held her fingers a half inch apart.

"Really? That close, eh?"

She shrugged. "I'm only being honest." She wasn't. Harry's kiss was so good that she was having to hang on to the counter because her knees were feeling a little weak.

"So Honest Girl, what are your plans for the afternoon? And don't say anything about this shop. Your customers are done for the day." Harry walked confidently to the door and turned the open sign to closed.

Lavender snarled up her nose. "I'm spending it at my brother's flat. There was something about Pansy and a Santa dress, and I'm sure they'll be counting the moments until I'm gone so they can begin shagging on every available surface. Ugh, what if they already are? I can't eat on that table now."

"I'm changing your plans. Get your cloak. Oh, and a box of those lemons, they're delicious."

***

Lavender still felt like her world was spinning when she found herself outside Harry Potter's house, her hand tucked into the crook of his arm. "It's not much, but I inherited it. I'll just apologise for the mess before I let you in."

The door clicked open and an image of Dumbledore shouting came rushing at Lavender and made her shriek and try to escape.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Harry cajoled. "I should have warned you about that. I've got so used to it that I didn't think. It's from the war, and I've never been able to break the spell."

Lavender's heart was pounding in her throat when Harry took her hand and led her into the living area. He pushed clothes off into the floor, revealing a rather comfortable looking sofa. The room was a mess, no Christmas decorations to be seen, and Lavender couldn't contain her shock when a house elf rounded the corner.

"Ah, Master is home with a girl."

Harry seemed not to know what to do. "Um, Kreacher, take the night off, yeah?"

The house elf left, and Lavender couldn't stop the words from escaping her mouth. "What the hell does he do all day? This place is a mess."

"Yeah, he's pants at cleaning. A decent cook though, and I think he patches my robes sometimes when I snag them." Harry started out of the room. "I'm just going to make sure he's gone. He likes to hang about and eavesdrop. Dead annoying."

The minute Harry was out of the room, Lavender cast a Scourgify to make the room tidier and took off her cloak before sitting on the sofa and getting comfortable. Her heart was still thumping, a combination of the recent scare and her excitement at being here with Harry. It had been a long time since she'd had a proper date, and while there was nothing exactly "proper" about this, she wasn't sorry to be here. She hadn't been shagged properly in a while, and she wasn't opposed to that either.

Harry popped his head around the corner. "Fancy some wine?"

"White, please." She preferred red, but purple teeth weren't attractive on a date.

Harry nodded and went back into what she assumed was a kitchen.

Lavender used her wand to start a fire in the hearth. Her skin looked best by fire or candle light, and while Harry was in the other room, she was going to make the most of setting the scene. She pulled a lipstick from her handbag and freshened up her pink lips. She was just returning it to her bag when Harry came back with two empty glasses and a bottle of wine. He sat down beside her, pulled the cork and poured the glasses half full, handing her the first one.

"So you think if you get me drunk, I'll concede you're a better kisser than Ron Weasley?"

"I see you're on to my dastardly plot." Harry clicked his glass against hers. "Now, drink up." His sitting so close to her, his knee touching hers, was as intoxicating as the wine. They drank for a bit in silence, before Harry started talking. "What's it like being business partners with a Slytherin?"

"Pansy's okay. When she's not shoving her tongue down my brother's throat in front of me, or telling me everything I'm doing wrong. So, you know, about 24 seconds out of each day, she's tolerable."

"Sounds about right. I'm sharing an office with Draco Malfoy at the Ministry. Do you question why I took up smoking?" Harry lit another cigarette. "This one has a few 'special' herbs in it. You want a drag? It's phenomenal."

Lavender took the cigarette when it was passed to her, and Harry was right, it was amazing. She took another long drag and passed it back. "What the hell is that?"

"I don't know. Something Mundungus Fletcher brought by a few days back. With Dung, sometimes it's best not to ask. It's relaxing though, and we've both worked with Slytherins this week, I'd say we deserve a little relaxation."

"Will it make me lose my mind?" Lavender wasn't sure she should consume anything provided by a man named Dung.

"No, I heard George is going to start selling it in his shop as soon as it gets Ministry approval. Nothing too extreme. Just relaxing." Harry took a few more drags and put out the stub in a nearby ashtray, then leaned back onto the sofa and smiled at her. "I never understood what Ron saw in you back at school."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot. Boy, you're really pants at making a girl feel good." She finished her glass. "I'll be needing more wine now."

Harry took the bottle and poured her more. "You could let me finish. I was going to say, you're really pretty."

"Oh. Um, thanks." She took her glass back from him and her fingers brushed his. She found herself left stammering. "You're pretty too."

Harry chuckled, "And I'm the one who's bad at this?"

Lavender joined him in his laughter. "Maybe you should just kiss me again. We're better at that." Harry leaned into her and his lips brushed softly across hers. Then, he backed away again. "What the fuck was that? You think you're going to win a kissing competition with some ridiculous little peck like that?"

Harry stretched back on the sofa and crossed his hands behind his head, propping his feet on the coffee table. "Maybe you should show me how it's done."

So that was how he wanted to play. Lavender set her wine glass aside and crawled across Harry's lap, straddling him, bunching her skirt up around her thighs and kicking off her shoes. "Is this what you had in mind?"

"Not in my wildest dreams, but I'm not complaining." Harry put both hands on her thighs and began to push up her skirt as he kneaded her skin.

Lavender cupped his face and leaned in for a kiss. Her lips were demanding, forcing his mouth open for her tongue. He readily accepted, kissing her back with equal fervour and before she knew what he was planning, he had flipped her onto the sofa on her back and he was above her.

"How'd a skinny little thing like you manage that?"

"Never underestimate me, Brown." Harry grinned down at her and she noted his adorably crooked glasses. "Want to see another trick?"

"Sure."

Harry snapped his fingers and all their clothes disappeared.

"How the fuck did you do that?"

"Another souvenir of the house. I suspect this was my godfather's trick. Dead useful at orgies. I bet he did it at least once in the middle of an Order meeting." Harry was no longer looking her in the eye. His eyes were travelling up and down her body. "Fucking gorgeous tits."

She gave him an equal appraisal. "And you're not as skinny as I thought."

Harry chuckled. "That's what happens when I eat cupcakes for days."

"It's a good look for you. So are you just going to keep looking at my tits, or are you going to do something with them?"

With a grin and a wink, Harry took her nipple into his mouth, and she arched her back to meet him. His hands were everywhere at once, and Lavender just closed her eyes and let herself feel. Harry's mouth blazed a trail from one breast to the other and she wrapped her legs around him. She was tired of foreplay. She felt like they had been dancing around one another for days, and she wanted some fulfillment. Lavender pushed her hand between them and took hold of his cock. He gave a groan of surprise as she guided him to her.

"I thought--"

"You think too much. No more thinking. Be as dim as I always thought you were and just fuck me, yeah?"

"Well, when you say it like that--" Harry pushed into her hard and fast. His thumb found her clit and pressed in small short circles, a talent that surprised her.

"Damn, Harry," she gasped, and it was clear he thought he had done something wrong until she wrapped her legs tighter and bucked against him to urge him on.

Harry came fast, and she was surprised at his follow through, bringing her to climax not long after his own.

"So did I beat Ron yet?"

"With that pitiful performance? Please? You're lucky. I'm a girl who believes in second chances. Catch your breath. You'll need to try harder next time, Potter."

Harry chuckled and lit a cigarette.

Additional author's notes:
*The title comes from Wreck-It Ralph
*The colour harlot comes from a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode.
*"Skinny little rat" is of course from Dr. Who, Donna's wedding episode.