Title: Clowning Around
Author: islandsmoke
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Clown
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Coulrophilia: sexual attraction to clowns, mimes, or jesters; sexual arousal from clowning, miming, etc.; incorporation of clown play into sex
Other Warnings: Could be dub-con as the consent is given to an anonymous person, object insertion, sounding, toys, light bondage. The boys are probably about 15, so… underage?
Word Count: ~2500
Summary/Description: Be careful what you wish for.
Author's Notes: I see this as happening before The Prank, and perhaps being a "justification" for it. Huge thanks to rayvyn2k for taking this on at the last minute!


~~ Clowning Around ~~

Meet me at the shack – 9:30. Alone.

Sirius frowned at the note that had just fallen out of his Transfiguration text, and then looked up to see Moony's back retreating through the crush of students pouring out the classroom door.

He hadn't seen Moony slip the note into his book. He hadn't thought Moony had come close enough to him to do it. He thought Moony was still cheesed off about the way he'd hexed Snivellus the other day, humiliated him in front of the other students. He hadn't actually hurt the wanker – not that he could see why that would matter, nasty git that old Snivellus was. Who cared?

Sometimes Moony had no sense of humour.

Sirius shoved the note into his pocket. He slung his book bag over his shoulder and smirked as he trailed out of the classroom after the others. He'd known Moony would come around eventually – how could he not, right? It was only Snivellus, after all, and who could resist the famous Black charm? Sirius had a spring in his step as he thought of all the ways he might make Moony beg forgiveness for giving him the cold shoulder. He'd have to postpone his meet-up with the Ravenclaw bird, but no matter. She'd wait for him and be glad of the privilege.

~~

Sirius nicked James' cloak, snuck out of the castle at a little past nine and hurried along the passage under the Whomping Willow. He was slightly out of breath when he finally arrived at the Shrieking Shack and after stashing the cloak in a corner, he smoothed his hair, took a deep breath, and then sprinted up the stairs two at a time.

The room where he and Moony usually met was at the end of the dark hallway. The half-moon cast just enough light to enable Sirius to step over the detritus of broken furniture and chunks of plaster as he strutted toward the ruined bedroom. He was half hard just thinking about it. Yes, Moony certainly owed him an apology.

The room appeared empty of human presence when he went inside – just the usual broken bed frame and old mattress on the floor.

"Moony?" He searched the corners with his eyes but he couldn't make out anything in the deep shadows.

With a shriek from its rusty hinges, the door slammed shut behind him. He wheeled around, his heart in his throat. No one was there. He turned back, and started violently as he saw an oddly distorted-looking figure silhouetted against the window. It raised a hand, and a ball of Bluebell flames flared to life in its palm.

The hairs on the back of Sirius' neck stood up, and he forgot to breathe. The figure before him was dressed as a clown.

The previous summer, Moony had taken him, Peter, and James to a Muggle circus. Sirius was fascinated by the clowns. He found them oddly erotic, and ever since then, he had pestered Moony to dress as one during their clandestine meetings. But Moony had always refused with a smile and a shake of his head before he dropped to his knees and reached for Sirius' trousers. Sirius then forgot about clowns until the next time.

Sirius gasped and felt his cock grow harder. Moony must be really sorry, but if this was the result, Sirius was willing to be forgiving.

The clown tossed the ball of flames in the air where they hovered, giving off a dim light. Three more times he conjured the flames, sending them to different parts of the room. Along with the moonlight seeping through the tattered curtains, they lit the room with a soft, eerie glow.

"Great costume, Moony." Sirius eyed his friend. He was wearing a multi-coloured wig, a huge painted smile on his heavily made up face, a big, round, false nose and great, bushy eyebrows. His one piece suit, belted snugly around his slim waist, might have been green, with out-sized patches in other colours stitched on with course black thread. The shoes were monstrous, and he wore gloves. The colours looked odd in the bluebell light, and the – was it white? – of the clown's face and gloves seemed to glow faintly. It was almost creepy.

The clown gave a great, sweeping bow, and then made a welcoming gesture toward the old mattress that lay on the floor. Sirius started to move forward, but the clown held up a finger. With what seemed like great effort, he dragged a large sack from the shadows. He whipped out a wildly patterned sheet with a flourish, and with a flick of his wrist, it fluttered off to cover the tattered and stained mattress.

"Excellent!" Sirius moved to the mattress, and then hesitated, his hands on his belt. "Should I get naked?" He asked with a leer.

The clown threw his hands up in mock horror, then covered his eyes and shook his head. All his motions were exaggerated and theatrical, and Sirius laughed. Moony was good!

"All right." He settled on the mattress with his back to the wall. "You're in charge – I'm all yours."

The clown hesitated a moment, then turned and made a great show of rummaging in the sack. After several seconds and a number of loud clanking noises, he straightened up, wand in hand. He flicked the wand and soft, black ropes snaked through the air and bound Sirius' hands to the wall behind his head. The clown made a caressing motion with his wand, and in the blink of an eye, all Sirius' clothes were in a pile next to the sack. A snap of the wrist sent more ropes flying toward Sirius. They coiled around Sirius' thighs just above his knees and pulled his legs up and back, exposing him in a most vulnerable way.

"Whoa. Not wasting any time, eh?" Sirius gave a nervous laugh; he was used to being the assertive one. Not that he had any objection – he was discovering he rather liked this side of his friend.

The clown turned his attention back to the contents of the sack. His search was accompanied by a few rather odd sounds, and then the clown straightened up and danced a little jig of triumph. He had several different shaped balloons in his hands. With much struggle and effort, the clown got the first balloon – a thin one – started, and he blew and blew until it was a couple of metres long. He tied the opening off, gave it a tap and let it float away. He blew up two more to almost the same size, retrieved the first one, and performed several deft twists of his wrists until suddenly there was the unmistakeable form of a dog. He set it on the floor, waved of his wand, and the balloon dog seemed to come to life. It dashed about and barked at shadows until it tripped over a broken floor board and popped.

Moony had never been so playful and Sirius grinned happily, his cock growing ever harder.

The clown blew up another balloon, inspected it carefully, then – apparently not liking what he saw – released it into the air. The balloon whizzed around making rude sounds, and the clown bent over, slapping his knees in a pantomime of great laughter. Sirius laughed with him.

After he blew up another long, thin balloon, the clown looked at Sirius, his eyes resting pointedly on his captive's erect cock. With a waggle of his great, bushy eyebrows, the clown twisted the balloon into a ring and tossed it deftly over Sirius' straining member.

Sirius moaned. "C'mon on, Moony." He tossed his hair out of his eyes. "Can't take much more of this." He wriggled impatiently in his restraints.

The clown studied him for a moment, and then with a curt nod, oddly out of character with his previous behaviour, he reached into the bag and drew out another balloon. This one he inflated slowly, examining it often until its size pleased him. After he tied off the end, the clown stroked his hand down the slim shape and a glistening coat of light oil covered the latex. With a move almost like a pounce, he landed on his knees in front of Sirius, and using the dildo-sized toy, he stroked over Sirius' sack and back to his hole.

Sirius moaned and tried to open himself further.

The balloon was pressed firmly against Sirius until with an odd sensation, it slipped inside.

"Fuck, that feels strange." Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and tried to relax his muscles more. The clown pushed the balloon deeper and deeper until it was almost entirely inside. Sirius exhaled with a satisfied hiss as his head dropped back against the wall, his eyes closed. It was just the right size.

He heard the clown blowing up another balloon and opened his eyes to note that this one was very thin. He watched with hazy interest as he embraced the feeling of being stretched and full and horny and at the mercy of his lover. The clown discarded the ring from Sirius' cock, lubed the thin balloon and with a look of great concentration, gripped Sirius' swollen member. When he began to insert the balloon into the slit, Sirius shifted uncomfortably.

"Uh, Moony? I don't know about that, OK?"

The clown ignored him, however, as he slid more and more of the cool, slick balloon into Sirius' cock. It felt very strange, but very… good.

Sirius groaned and his body trembled with the sensations of being used in such a way. "Damn, Moony, where'd you learn this shit?"

The clown didn't answer, being engaged in the inflation of yet another balloon. When it was the size he wanted, he dragged his bag close and rummaged inside again, this time coming up with a jar of strawberry syrup. He dipped the balloon into the jar, and then held the dripping treat in front of Sirius' face.

"Mmmm, my favourite." Sirius licked the balloon, and then opened his mouth wide to allow the clown to feed it to him. He sucked happily, as relaxed as he could be, given his state of arousal.

The clown sat back and made a small flourish of his wand. Sirius opened his eyes wide, holding his breath in anticipation, but nothing happened. He exhaled, puzzled, then gasped in surprise. The balloons had inflated slightly when he'd exhaled – but then they deflated again when he inhaled. He let his breath out slowly, experimentally, and felt the balloons swell inside him. Another deep breath and they deflated. He moaned softly at the sensations.

Brilliant. He'd have spoken the word if his mouth wasn't full. He tipped his head back against the wall and took deep, slow breaths, enjoying the feeling of the balloons as they moved inside him. Moony really had been holding out on him with his charms work.

But Sirius wanted more. Gods, he wanted Moony to touch him. He opened his eyes and gave the clown his best pleading look. The clown watched him from under lowered lids for a minute, and then lifted his wand and murmured something.

Sirius blinked, then frowned slightly and wondered what he'd done. Suddenly, he realized the balloons were no longer "breathing" with him. They still swelled when he exhaled, but did not shrink when he inhaled. It didn't take long to realize that this could become problematic.

Moony? He tried to speak around the swelling balloon in his mouth.

The clown looked at him for a moment, then lunged forward and planted his hands against the wall on either side of Sirius' head. Eye-to-eye, Sirius stared. Horror dawned as he looked into, not Moony's warm brown eyes, but hard black eyes that held glittering hatred. The apparition that had, just a moment before been his trusted friend, bared crooked teeth in a parody of a smile.

Sirius' bellow of rage was drastically muffled by the ever growing balloon in his mouth. His anger quickly turned to panic as he realized that this was no odd form of foreplay, but a life-threatening situation.

Snivellus rose gracefully – how could Sirius have ever mistaken the skinny git for Moony? – gathered up the sack and turned for a last look at Sirius. A casual flick of his wand and Sirius' clothes were incinerated, then, touching his wand to his forehead in salute, Snivellus slung the sack over his shoulder and left the room.

Sirius listened carefully, but heard no pause in the retreating footsteps once they were at the bottom of the stairs. At least the greasy git hadn't noticed the cloak.

Sirius looked at the drift of ashes that was all that remained of his clothes and felt a cold wash of fear before he remembered that he'd left his wand in the inner pocket of the cloak. He was pants at wandless magic, but tried his best to summon the wand. When he failed, he tried every charm and spell he could think of to destroy or deflate the balloons. Nothing worked. He was rapidly moving from great discomfort to pain, but his greatest fear was the balloon in his mouth as it began to block his breathing.

He bit down hard, but that just pushed the air forward and shoved the balloon further down his throat, cutting off the air entirely. He sawed his jaw back and forth viciously, biting all the time, and finally the suffocating balloon popped. Sirius gasped and choked as he spit out the fragments of latex, then whimpered in pain as the other balloons filled ever fuller with his deep exhalations.

God and fuck, he was going to kill the slimy bastard for this.

Sirius squirmed in his bonds, trying in vain to relieve some of the pressure in his insides.

How had Snivellus known about the shack? The clown? The strawberry syrup, for Merlin's sake?

Pictures suddenly flashed through Sirius' mind. Moony, Lily and Snivellus at the same table in the library. The way Moony sometimes disappeared after dinner for an hour or more. Moony nowhere to be found on a Saturday afternoon.

Sirius knew he had more than one person to get even with. And he would get even; it was one of the many things at which the Blacks excelled.

He breathed as shallowly as he could, but every now and then, his lungs demanded more air, and he had to take a deeper breath. After one such blissfully large lungful of air, his troubles exploded from excruciating fullness to hot, searing pain. He almost panicked in his terror that something inside him had ruptured. He pulled at the ropes securing his arms without success.

The dust in the room, stirred up from his struggles, tickled his nose. Oh, dear gods, no! Now Sirius did panic. He shook his head, trying not to breathe, trying to will away the need to sneeze.

It didn't work.

His mighty sneeze was accompanied by an engulfing wave of pain, the like of which he'd never known. His vision turned black at the edges and he slipped into unconsciousness.

~~*~~