Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Kinky Kristmas Fic: Complicated (Severus/Remus) 
12th December 2011 12:00
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]r_grayjoy
From: [info]sabethea

Title: Complicated
Characters/Pairings: Severus/Remus
Rating: NC17
Kinks/Themes Included: hair pulling, slamming up against walls, partially clothed need-it-now sex
Other Warnings/Content: none
Word Count: 1391
Summary/Description: Remus and Severus could both have done without a passionate Seventh year relationship – except neither Remus nor Severus seems to be able to do without their passionate Seventh year relationship...
Author's Notes: Big big thanks to [temporarily anonymous beta] for a fantastic beta job at the last minute! Giftee, I had great fun with this.




“It's complicated.” Whenever Remus imagines trying to tell James – worse, Sirius – about his relationship (or whatever it is) with Severus Snape, this is always the phrase he starts out with. Complicated. Well, that's one word for it.

Hot, desperate, needy, wanting. Those are other words, perhaps more accurate. Remus – and he suspects Severus also – would much prefer to have a calm, cool relationship with someone more suited to him. If he could take up with Peter, say, or better still that friend of Lily's who Sirius swears has the best breasts he's ever seen – that would be so much more convenient. But no. It didn't happen that way, did it? It happened that he fell for Severus so hard and so fast and so lustfully he's sometimes frightened by the need.

Remus can feel the feverish beating of his heart, and is not sure whether it's fear of being caught or the thought of Severus being there soon.

He waits. He waits, and the beating of his heart slows down in time; and then speeds up again as he realises what has happened. Severus is late.

Severus is late, and Severus is never late. It takes his non-appearance for Remus to realise how much he relies on this, how much he needs this. Needs Severus. Needs what they have. What if he doesn't come? What then? What will ---

Remus's thoughts are interrupted by Severus pushing open the door and slipping into the room. Remus wants to say something of what he's been thinking, about how important Severus is to him. What comes out is:

“You're late.”

“Yes.” Severus pushes back sweat-slicked strands of hair from his face, and says, “Your friends were around. I had to avoid them.”

Remus feels sick. “They're not heading this way?” The last thing he needs is for James and Sirius to find Severus with him. Worse, find Severus in him.

“No.” Severus is curt. “They were heading out of the school. You needn't worry you'll have to feel ashamed of me.”

“I'm not ash--”

Don't.” Severus's interruption sounds angry, but when Remus looks at his face, he sees the unhappiness Severus is fighting to disguise. Severus's mouth works for a few seconds, before he continues, his voice calmer, cooler. “Well. Since we're both here, we might as well get what we came for.”

Remus feels guilt pounding through his veins like poison. “It's not like that.”

“Isn't it?”

Severus doesn't give him an opportunity to answer, instead pushing him hard against the wall and taking possession of Remus's mouth in a kiss which is more than just a kiss; is domination and anger in sensual form. And Remus, as he always does, gives way to the possession, his soft mouth contrasting with his hardening cock. He once nearly killed Severus. He once nearly killed him, and that knowledge stains their relationship, making Remus even more gentle, even more eager to please but not to dominate, than he might otherwise have been. He's been told it's not his fault, by so many people (though not by Severus); but it feels like his fault. He would have done it; he would have been the one to strike another human being down, to destroy him.

“Please,” Remus murmurs, pulling Severus close and kissing his way up the sharp plains of Severus's jaw.

Severus's fingers twist in Remus's hair, yanking hard at it, and forcing his head to one side. “Please what?” Severus whispers in Remus's ear, before biting down on the lobe.

Please make me come, I don't care how. Remus can't say that, though; he despises himself enough already.

“I want you,” he says.

“Yes?”

Severus thrusts his hips forward against Remus's, at the same time leaning back so that he can stare into Remus's eyes. He thrusts again and again, and Remus stops thinking about anything except –

“Yes – more – oh Merlin, yes – please.”

Bodies rubbing together. That intense look of concentration on Severus's face, which makes him look... not handsome, nothing could do that... but magnetic. Desirable. Downright fucking sexy. Remus could drown in that expression and be grateful to do so. He could stay like this forever, but...

“Oh God, yes.”

The words whimper out of Remus's throat as Severus flicks a button of Remus's robes apart and slips a hand inside his pants, grasping his erection. Severus is always so careful of the robes, no matter how involved he is. There is no tugging apart, no pinging of buttons or tearing of material. Severus treats Remus's robes with a respect he doesn't give the young man himself; when he has time to consider it, Remus thinks that perhaps this is fair enough. And anyway, he doesn't want Severus's respect, he wants... Severus moves his hand up and down Remus's shaft and Remus doesn't give a flying fuck about anything but that.

“Do you know,” Severus says, his breath coming out in spurts, “how wanton you look when I do this? How desperate?”

“I am.”

Severus has stopped moving, and Remus thrusts against his hand, wanting more. Always wanting more.

“Desperate for me,” Severus adds.

Remus is almost whining with frustration, barely able to speak through the fog of need. “I am,” he says again.

“Say my name.”

“What?” Remus's eyes had closed, but they flick open again.

Severus squeezes hard on his cock with one hand; the other hand goes to Remus's throat, pushing his head around so that they are staring into each other's eyes.

“Say. My. Name,” he enunciates clearly. “Say who you're desperate for.”

“You.” Remus is bucking against Severus, but Severus is merciless. His hand stays wrapped around Remus's erection, but he will not move, will not do anything more until Remus does his bidding. “You, Merlin, Severus, God, you. Severus, please.”

“God.” Severus laughs. It is a rare sound. “I like that.”

His hand moves faster, and his mouth descends to Remus's, taking away Remus's remaining breath and leaving him clinging to Severus as the only thing which is keeping him upright. Then Remus comes, his eyes squeezed tight with only a couple of tears sliding through, his cock jerking and spurting in Severus's grasp.

Almost as soon as he's recovered himself, Remus is sliding to his knees in front of Severus, his fingers equally painstaking with the buttons on Severus's robes, his mouth rougher, greedier, as he pushes away Severus's pants and takes Severus's cock inside. Sometimes he's not sure which he loves more, coming for Severus or making Severus come for him. The feel, the taste, the weight of Severus's cock in his mouth. The smell of arousal emanating from him. Severus's fingers once more entwined in Remus's hair, jerking his head back and forth, controlling, controlling. Severus loves control, Remus loves the knowledge that he's doing Severus's will, that Severus wants this so much. Wants him.

The taste of him. God, the taste of him. Remus swirls his tongue around Severus's cock, eager for as much as he can get of that taste. But Severus has passed the stage of wanting gentle discovery; he forces Remus's head back and forth, thrusts into his mouth over and over and over, hard and fast and almost painful, until he halts, shudders, and Remus's mouth fills with Severus's come. He swallows, a little trickling over his chin. Severus has taken his hands from Remus's hair, has them both pressed, palms flat, against the wall above Remus.

For a second they stay like that, as if frozen in the moment; then Severus shrugs away from Remus, tucks himself back together. Remus pushes himself up from the floor and wipes the semen from his face. They look at each other in silence. Remus smiles, almost like an offering, but Severus turns away.

“Again?” asks Remus. “Soon?”

Severus turns back towards him, his eyes black and unfathomable. “I imagine so,” he says. Then, unexpectedly, “Thank you.”

He is gone before Remus knows how to respond to this. Remus stands and watches as Severus leaves the room, leaves Remus.

Above all, it is complicated.
Comments 
12th December 2011 17:23
::flaaaaaiiiilll:: Oh, oh, Mystery Author, I love this! (And I was good, even, and didn't read it until last night when I set it up for posting!) I'm falling asleep at my keyboard, though, and am not capable of the comment this deserves at the moment. I'll be back to squee at you properly a bit later. ♥
28th December 2011 15:09
Abjlvahb;lf, I'm SO SORRY it's taken me this long to get back and comment properly! Apparently I've been too busy running KK to participate in it. ::eyeroll:: Anyway! Don't take my silence to mean I'm lukewarm about this fic, because I'm SO TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH IT YOU HAVE NO IDEA AAAAHHHH! Hmm, looks like I'm going to have to read it again so I can comment as I ought to. Oh, darn. ;)

Okay, first of all, I LOVE how you've framed this with the "it's complicated" statement, yet by the end it means so much more than it did at the start. Abjk;ah, "complicated" indeed! That doesn't even begin to adequately describe it. LMAO AWESOME.

Heh, oh, man. Remus wishing he'd fallen for someone "better" for him -- and suspecting Severus feels the same way! Oh, but it just doesn't work like that, does it? Hmm, and this is just the first example of him assuming he knows how Severus feels about things when he really doesn't have a clue half the time.

And that's the thing about this pairing at this age, innit? The totally not getting each other (except when they so do) and not being able to communicate openly either.

Remus wants to say something of what he's been thinking, about how important Severus is to him. What comes out is:

“You're late.”


Yes, just like that! Gah!!

And of course Remus' friends and his inability to just tell them what's going on is the point of contention. Of course it is. Oh, oh, and the way the Shack incident affects the relationship -- or the way it affects Remus' behavior which affects the relationship. Gah, gah, it's all just so very Remus!

Aaaahhh, and young!Severus, spilling feelings all over the place and wearing his heart on his sleeve, even though Remus only gets it half the time! ::flail::

Please make me come, I don't care how. Remus can't say that, though; he despises himself enough already.

Nggh, yes! Hot and desperate and full of self-loathing.

Severus thrusts his hips forward against Remus's, at the same time leaning back so that he can stare into Remus's eyes.

Because this is Severus, and he needs to see, doesn't he? Gah!!

Oh, and so much yes on Severus' intense concentration making him sexy as hell. Because he doesn't do anything if he can't do it well, and because oh, what it would be like for Remus to have that sort of concentration focused entirely on him.

Wow, and great touch of characterization with Severus being careful with the clothing. And him giving Remus' robes a sort of respect that he doesn't give Remus himself! (Or Remus taking it that way, at any rate. 'Cause Severus has to care about him enough to even give a shit about not making him replace his robes.)

And OMG, holy shit, hotness on a stick, I just, I don't even... ::flaily flaily faint::

"Desperate for me," and, "Say my name," HOGOD. Because Severus needs to hear it. And HELLO, ROWAN'S BULLET-PROOF KINK. Nice of you to drop by. Unf unf unf.

Ohhhh, and Severus laughs. In front of Remus. For Remus. ::whimper::

Severus needing to feel in control of something, and Remus wanting to give it to him... And both of them needing so much to feel wanted...!

AND THEN HE THANKS HIM!!!11!1 ::flails and dies::

COMPLICATED INDEED.

Abjvluwhaf, I don't even... HERE; HAVE ALL THE INTERNETS! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
8th January 2012 18:19 - Best Comment In The World :)
Oh, so glad you liked it!

I'm glad you didn't mind Remus going round over-thinking everything, because he *would* do it, no matter how I tried to persuade his brain to shut up and his body to get on with stuff :)

Poor, messed up teenage boys. (OTOH, for my writing, it was almost happy. Sort of. If you squint very hard and think of happy as being very complicated...)
12th December 2011 19:42
hair pulling, slamming up against walls, partially clothed need-it-now sex Oh HAI, list of utterly smexy smexin' things that push all my buttons!

Hooo, yeah. Despite the 'complications', they work so well together here.
8th January 2012 18:21
hair pulling, slamming up against walls, partially clothed need-it-now sex Oh HAI, list of utterly smexy smexin' things that push all my buttons!

Heh, mine too. You need to thank [info]r_grayjoy for that, as she gave such a fantastic prompt to work from :)

I think they work well, even if they don't realise it themselves sometimes!
12th December 2011 22:40
That was very intense and hot!
8th January 2012 18:21
Thank you!

I think both Remus and Severus are fairly intense sort of people, so they will go for that sort of fic.
13th December 2011 02:03
This is absolutely fantastic -- I love the dynamic you've established between them here. Hot and bittersweet and completely convincing.
8th January 2012 18:25
Thank you very much! I do love Snupin.
13th December 2011 02:21
He once nearly killed Severus. He once nearly killed him, and that knowledge stains their relationship, making Remus even more gentle, even more eager to please but not to dominate, than he might otherwise have been. He's been told it's not his fault, by so many people (though not by Severus); but it feels like his fault.

Yes. This. Thank you! This is to me, exactly what drives my very favorite Snupin.

I loved this story so much it hurts! ♥♥
8th January 2012 18:27
I am so obsessed by how that episode would have ramifications all through that group, but especially between those two.

And I think you recced this, so extra special thank yous!
13th December 2011 03:01
Oh god, he says THANK YOU. la;ksjdfs. Oh, BOYYYYYYYS *clutches them tight* So hot and desperate and they NEED each other, I love that so hard. Love love love awkward desperate panting teenage Snupin sexing, ungh, so much. ♥ !!
8th January 2012 18:29
Awkward teenage Snupin is one of my happy-making things :)

Thank you!
13th December 2011 13:13
Awesome! Fantastic characterizations, and I love the dynamic between them.

And Remus, as he always does, gives way to the possession, his soft mouth contrasting with his hardening cock. He once nearly killed Severus. He once nearly killed him, and that knowledge stains their relationship, making Remus even more gentle, even more eager to please but not to dominate, than he might otherwise have been. He's been told it's not his fault, by so many people (though not by Severus); but it feels like his fault.

That's exactly how I imagine Remus after the Shrieking Shack incident. And:

Severus is always so careful of the robes, no matter how involved he is. There is no tugging apart, no pinging of buttons or tearing of material. Severus treats Remus's robes with a respect he doesn't give the young man himself; when he has time to consider it, Remus thinks that perhaps this is fair enough.

Beautiful! And Severus would treat robes carefully and with respect, having grown up wearing only second hand clothes.

Can't say how much I love this. Perfect last line!
8th January 2012 18:30
Oh, you have picked out two bits I was quite pleased with! Thank you! :)

*happy*
14th December 2011 04:43
That was... It just... That is...

*whimper*

*flail*

*thud*
8th January 2012 18:31
*happyface*

Thank you!
14th December 2011 23:11
Hot and definitely complicated (as I expect it would be). Nice job!
8th January 2012 18:32
Thank you! This pairing is ALWAYS complicated, so I kind of cheated with that line ;-)
15th December 2011 06:37
That is a brilliant way to illustrate complicated!

Being in Remus' head as he tries to work it all out, and then adding Severus...Wow! Whoever you are, mystery author, you really did an excellent job.
8th January 2012 18:34
Thank you!

Remus's head is a complicated place to be at the best of times, I think. :)
18th December 2011 15:35
This is so hot, but I especially love both Severus' and Remus' emotions. There are so many things that they aren't saying, but you show it with your words. I want to hug this fic!
8th January 2012 18:36
Oh, thank you! The total lack of communication between them was definitely something I wanted to get across. Both of them were thinking all sorts of things and what came out of their mouths had practically nothing to do with it...
18th December 2011 19:51
Oh wow, this is so... beautiful, yes, but also painful and definitely complicated. Both boys feel so hurt that all I wanted to do was hug them both better. ;_; But then again, they should probably just do that for each other... if they ever manage to leave the "complicated" state and have a nice, comfortable relationship. *dreams*
8th January 2012 18:36
*wants to give them happy ending*

*suspects you probably ought to give them to someone else to get the happy ending, however ;-P*
19th December 2011 16:22
*faints* oh my, yes
8th January 2012 20:12
Yay! Thank you :)
27th December 2011 21:24
Oh, how perfectly them!
8th January 2012 20:12
That is a splendid kind comment, because just what I was aiming for! Thank you.
31st December 2011 04:14
marvelous, the magnetic attraction and heat between them!
8th January 2012 20:13
How can they help it? *has slight crush on them both*
1st January 2012 07:42
Oh, man, this! It takes a special kind of fucked up brokenness to make me really enjoy this pairing, and you've NAILED IT. The awkwardness, the anger and distrust, the feeling of there being this constant battle and unending feeling of sorrow for past sins, yes. THIS. This is Snupin. This is so perfect. This is just... You win. Everything.
8th January 2012 20:15
Thank you so much! That's exactly how I see this pairing, so I'm really really happy it came across as I wanted it to.

Guilt + anger + lust = Snupin :)
1st January 2012 12:46
I am an extremely picky Snupin reader but this hits all my buttons just right.
Love how desperate they both are and how Remus tries to analyse Severus' every single action. And somehow Severus' "Thank you" in the end kinda kills me, it is so sad and so at odds with what Remus thinks is happening there. Also top marks on Severus' physical descriptions, love this bit That intense look of concentration on Severus's face, which makes him look... not handsome, nothing could do that... but magnetic. Desirable. Downright fucking sexy. Absolutely my kinda Snape!
8th January 2012 20:17
I have to say, I really don't like it when people make Snape gorgeous. Hot and sexy, yes. Handsome, no.

And yes, as Severus goes, he is being Ridiculously Open about his feelings (which granted is everyone else's "not saying anything about them") and Remus is way too caught up in what he THINKS is happening to realise what really is...
3rd January 2012 00:25
This is almost too intense for words. Just the right blend of desperation, confusion and complication for these two as teenagers, I think. And what a killer ending.
8th January 2012 20:19
Bless you. Thank you for this. They're quite intense characters, I think, and anything which drives them together despite their history has to be complicated. I'm really happy it worked.
3rd January 2012 06:03
Oh... that's lovely. I love teen!Snupin with all the school politics and fears of youth. Above all, I love how much they are into each other, especially Remus's desperate need. So very hot!
8th January 2012 20:21
Yay, thank you! There's so much *else* going on around them, and I always want to write them with an awareness of the other stuff. (I also always feel like I don't succeed, so it's nice to have someone say I did!)
3rd January 2012 15:50
Complicated, yes. But also intensely hot. Great job!
8th January 2012 20:21
Thank you! Hot and complicated - sums up Snupin, really, no? :)
8th January 2012 07:55
omg omg omg.

I <3 Snupin and this glimpse at their Hogwarts-era selves and what might have been and of COURSE how complicated it would be...

This was so brilliantly written!

*flails*
8th January 2012 20:22
Yay, thank you! Two fucked up teenagers unable to admit they've found love :)
4th July 2012 23:56
Complicated, indeed. Quite delightfully...
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