Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Kinky Kristmas Fic: The Holly, the Ivy and the Red Red Rose (Snape/Rosa Sadista) 
6th December 2011 12:00
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]nehalenia
From: [info]inamac

Title: The Holly, the Ivy and the Red Red Rose
Characters/Pairings: Snape/Rosa Sadista
Rating: NC17
Kinks/Themes Included: (sort of) tentacle sex, masochism, outdoor sex, magical charms.
Other Warnings/Content: A certain amount of cynical humour (this is Snape).
Word Count: 1200
Summary/Description: It's New Year's Eve in the year of the Triwizard Tournament. As if Snape didn't have enough to worry about with the return of the Dark Lord, an unidentified spy in Hogwarts and Minerva's plans for a traditional Scottish celebration without encountering Pomona's defensive foliage...
Horticultural Notes: The prompt asked for "rosebush tentacle sex; also Snape as bit of a pain!slut - hot & humourous" Well, I had fun writing this – I hope it meets expectations.



In the year of the Triwizard Tournament the New Year's Eve celebrations at Hogwarts were neither as formal as the Yule Ball, nor as exclusive, since all pupils and staff resident at the school during the Christmas holidays were expected to attend.

Having lent his scowling presence to the opening ceremony and filched a plateful of sustenance from the buffet, Professor Severus Snape was making a discrete return to his own quarters where he intended to spend the evening reading through some neglected journals with a decent malt scotch at his side. He was confident that no one would miss his presence, so long as he remembered to turn up for the midnight fireworks and Auld Lang Syne.

That, at least, was his plan.

He was taking a short-cut through the courtyard when he noticed movement among the rose bushes. By reflex he aimed his wand at the foliage and uttered a blasting curse, fully expecting a couple of students to emerge from their shelter in a state of dishabille. He did not expect the bush itself to retaliate. A long, black-barbed stem uncoiled from the tangled foliage to lay a lash of fire down his back.

His robe parted under the tearing thorns, ripped into two and slid down his arms, leaving him all but naked. Furious, he shot another hex at the rosebush which, far from quelling or destroying it, caused further tendrils to strike out and complete the destruction of his clothes before pulling him into their embrace.

He found himself kneeling, naked, on the thick black loam of the enchanted rosebed, his face caressed by the velvet petals of the flowers, their sweet, heady scent as erotic as the ecstatica potion of which they formed a vital ingredient. Astonished, he felt the sharp embrace of their thorny stems send a shiver of delightful anticipation through him.

He had not felt like this since Voldemort had drawn fire along his arm to create the Dark Mark, whose burn, after years of quiescence, had lately reminded him how addictive danger and pain could be.

Instead of fighting his way free he leaned forward into the roses' embrace, allowing the sharp thorns access to more flesh, more blood. In preparing her garden - her trap – Pomona must have enchanted more than one species of rose. The stem that had initially attacked him had been the long woody sucker of an old-fashioned rambling rose, but the blossoms that caressed his skin and smeared the blood from the thorns cuts were full-blown heads of hybrid tea-roses. While the root-stock –

Startled, he looked down to see what appeared to be furred green velvet rope coiling itself around the base of his cock and wrapping itself slowly up all seven-and-three-quarter inches of the engorged organ.

He took a long, slow, open-mouthed breath, seeking, far too late, to control his reaction. He dared not touch. What looked like velvet was, in fact, the many-thorned stem of a moss-rose. To touch would increase the agony. And to come, thus wrapped, would be exquisite torture. Snape clenched his fists in the black loam, feeling it oozing through his fingers as semen was oozing from his cock. But it was too late for control. He came, hard and copiously, come mingled with snow to paint the red blossoms white.

It was only then; still bound, still kneeling, still naked; that Snape remembered the staff meeting on the morning of Boxing day.

It had not gone well. Even had most of those present not been hungover (save himself, well prepared with an appropriate potion).

Madame Maxime was thin-lipped with annoyance, presumably about the way her pupils had fraternised with the Hogwarts students, though she refused to discuss her grievance.

Karkaroff was absent, which was a brief blessing. Though the man, for all his whinging, was right. The bloody Dark Mark was getting stronger. And itching like fury. Dumbledore would have to be told. And Snape was not looking forward to that smug little conversation.

And Pomona had only been concerned about the fate of her bleedin' roses, though what on earth had possessed her to conjure a rose garden in the middle of winter he would never know. He suspected her of having Malfoy blood. It was just the sort of pointless posturing that Lucius would have spent a fortune on in the Manor gardens.

"Roses are so romantic!" she'd enthused, and got very huffy when he had pointed out that the last thing you wanted around hormonal teenagers was aphrodisiac shrubbery.

"I trust that you do not condone canoodling among the students?"

"I... well, no, of course not..."

"Then you should not have encouraged it by making the roses thornless."

"There was no need for you to blast the innocent bushes out of the way like that," Pomona pouted.

"There was every need," Snape snapped. He smiled thoughtfully, recalling one incident in the garden. "And, Pomona, as Head of Hufflepuff, you might check that Fawcett is quite up to date with her contraception charms."

Pomona looked at him with an expression that would have quelled a mandrake, pulled her wand out of her satchel, and stormed out of the room. "I'll deal with it," she growled. "And I'll make sure that no one meddles with my roses in future."

And now he knew what she'd meant.

The stems had loosened a little, sated, perhaps, by his response – damn the woman, had she used some cross-pollination with those carnivorous plants of hers? But he was nowhere near satisfied. He caught up his wand, dropped in the frenzy, and aimed another hex at the bush. But this time it did not retaliate. It seemed that there was a limit to Pomona's retribution, or else the roses themselves were replete after their activity. The thorns withdrew, the blossoms furled and he was released to heal himself and leave, lesson learned.

Shivering, though no longer with cold, he sealed the rents in his robe before pulling it back on, rough fabric scraping across his wounds as he strode back to his quarters. The sensation was not unwelcome. In fact each step he took sent another jolt of perverse pleasure coiling through his guts and kept his abused cock interested in the proceedings. He barely noticed the light spilling from the Great Hall as the doors were opened to the night, or the skirl of bagpipe music blaring out at the moment the school clock began to chime out the old year and in the new. The first of the fireworks burst overhead as he passed under the archway that led to the Slytherin dungeons. Well, he thought, as he growled out the password to the guardian suit of armour, let some other fool first-foot for Minerva. He had other business to attend to.

He paused at the door to the deserted sixth form common room. Someone had hung a wreath of holly and ivy there as part of the Christmas decorations. He hesitated for a moment, and a speculative smile curved his lips. The points of the holly leaves looked very sharp. The stems of the ivy rough and subtle. He reached out a hand, still scarred red from the rose-thorns, seized the wreath and carried it off to his quarters.

Yes, Pomona's charm had taught him a lesson, and now he made a resolution to practice what he had learned. It was going to be a happy new year.

Fin
Comments 
6th December 2011 19:01
Oh, hot hot herbery. I love the links to canon, and just wish there was MORE of Snape/Rose bush (not something I thought I'd ever type!)
9th January 2012 09:25
It's not something I thought I'd ever write! Thank you.
6th December 2011 22:06
Yes, well....... I certainly never thought of Snape canoodling with a rose bush, but this was downright hawt!
9th January 2012 09:26
I think Snape shares your view. Glad you 'enjoyed' this.
6th December 2011 22:07
Oh, and trust Snape to know the exact length of his engorged member.
6th December 2011 23:34
*L* You know he would!
6th December 2011 23:33
I love pain!slut-Snape and this was great. I loved how he was try (unsuccessfully) to provoke the plant for a second round, better luck next time Severus.
9th January 2012 09:28
Thank you. I think the holly may prove more accommodating in future ;)
7th December 2011 00:54
LOL, this was a fantastic missing scene from the book and will definitely be my head-canon from now on. So very Snape, I still can't get over the fact that he tries to induce the rosebush for round 2 and has worn them out.
9th January 2012 09:29
Thank you. It seems that Pomona, along with everyone else, underestimates Snape ;)
7th December 2011 06:37
Oh my---oh my!

I suspect Snape's new theme song with be "Every Rose Has Its Thorn".

Brilliant. Terrifying but brilliant. (And hot!)
9th January 2012 09:30
I;m sure it will. Thanks for that thought... and comment.
7th December 2011 08:19
Heee delightfully kinky
9th January 2012 09:31
That's our boy! Thanks.
7th December 2011 13:18
Go Pomona, you kinky witch you! :)

Hm... methinks she secretly wanted Snape naked and on his knees. Oh, yes. (who doesn't?) ;)

Nicely done!
9th January 2012 09:32
Thank you. Pomona has hidden depths (and shallows). *nods*
7th December 2011 13:38
I always love when plants get involved and that Severus would be the one to come across the somewhat sadistic roses is no surprise at all. GUH! Gorgeous scene you paint there. Absolutely perfect that he spies the holly and ivy wreath and brings it along. Well done.
9th January 2012 09:33
Thank you. I'm a bit of a plant-phobic so am glad this worked out.
7th December 2011 16:31
Heh, who'd have thought rosebush tentacle sex could be so much fun. Well, Snape, obviously - the kinky sod!
9th January 2012 09:34
And Pomona, probably. Thanks.
7th December 2011 22:37
Very hot; I loved the explanation almost as much as I loved Snape getting off on the rose thorns. Nicely done!
9th January 2012 09:35
Thanks. I think your icon says it all. sex god, even in the plant world...
7th December 2011 23:29
Woah, this is really clever! I adore everyone who can write stories that actually fit somewhere into Canon. Brilliant!
I love pain slut!Snape and the sadistic roses to bits. Great story!
9th January 2012 09:36
I have to thank the prompt for the canon references, but am happy that they worked for you.
8th December 2011 02:10
jolt of perverse pleasure coiling through his guts and kept his abused cock interested in the proceedings

Oh Severus, that thing is going to get you in SOOOOO much trouble!

LOVED IT!
9th January 2012 09:37
*Smile* Loved this comment! Thanks.
9th December 2011 23:07
Oooooh, this was delicious! I love how Snape likes it so...rough. *smirk*
9th January 2012 09:38
Well of course... Thanks.
11th December 2011 00:48
Oh my! Sorry I'm late in commenting, but wow, thanks Oh Magnificent Member! That was a great use of my prompt. I love the name Rosa sadistica. XD There are some marvelous lines in this, like Pomona's "quell a mandrake" look and just about anything Severus says. Him taking the wreath into the bedroom with him was the icing on the cake. Thank you so much, anon! This was just great!
9th January 2012 09:39
Thank you for a smashing prompt. It was great fun writing - almost as much fun as Snape was having ;)
9th January 2012 09:49
OMG, my Santa was you!!! Thank you so much, my dear! I enjoyed this so much. Also, there should totally be a R. sadistica. (Actually I can think of some candidates. The great thorny mess of Autumn Damask comes to mind.) Why have no botanists thought of this before?
12th December 2011 03:41
HOw terribly creative of Pomona. It all strikes me as a bit scratchy, much like SEverus huh? LOL!
9th January 2012 09:40
Very like Severus. Thanks.
13th December 2011 02:34
*cackles* Oh, that was fabulous!!
9th January 2012 09:40
Glad you liked it ;)
19th December 2011 05:38
As the saying goes, 'Screw the roses, give me the thorns...' and oh my goodness, did you give us the thorns!

This was amazingly hot. Thank you!
9th January 2012 09:41
Thank you for enjoying.
24th December 2011 15:04
I'm here via <lj user="someoldcat"'s rec: this is very hot! I love how quickly Severus learns! Kinky beau!
9th January 2012 09:43
*g* Well it is a Kinky Kristmas (and, apparently, New Year). Thank you. (and [info]akatnamedeaster.
24th December 2011 17:23
oh, my! pomona, you clever gardener! and severus, what fun, cavorting with dangerous plants. A pity you wereent trapped there until morning, what a treat for the students!

loved the 7 and 3/4 ", the details of the roses, and Severus stealing holly (yikes! prickly!) for more fun.
9th January 2012 09:44
Thank you. I think Severus may have a different view of the 'Language of Flowers' than most people...
2nd January 2012 21:37
Bwahaha, oh my, I'd say you did that prompt justice and then some! I love that this is Pomona's idea of revenge/teaching a lesson. Yes, it seems perfect for her. ::snortle:: Too bad for her that it didn't have exactly the effect she intended! (...Unless it did... ::now imagines a voyeuristic Pomona behind the bushes:: ;) ) And, ahaha, dying over Snape hexing the bush again! XD Hope he's got some good healing paste in his stores or else he's going to have a fun time walking tomorrow.
9th January 2012 09:46
Thank you - it was fun writing, especially for this fest.

(I'm sorry if I messed up your stats...) :(
9th January 2012 13:00
LOL! Someone always messes up the stats! I'm absolutely shocked that we didn't have any outrageously complicated genderbending this year!
9th January 2012 13:05
Hmm. Makes note for next year...
8th January 2012 16:51
That was... extraordinary. I like it far too much, I think.
9th January 2012 09:48
Worrying, isn't it? Glad you liked it though.
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