Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Kinky Kristmas Fic: Tidings of Joy (Sirius/Severus)  
18th December 2010 12:00
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]akatnamedeaster
From: A Wondrous Watcher: [info]snapesgirl

Title: Tidings of Joy
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Severus
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: spanking, bondage, rough sex
Other Warnings/Content: fellatio, wanking, shagging, exhibitionism, voyeurism, dub-con
Word Count: 2281
Summary/Description: Sirius and Severus have been ordered to make nice. Sirius has specific ideas as to what nice means.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my beta readers: E, K, and W. Any mistakes are all mine. Thank you also to the moderators for hosting this fest.

Make friends with him, Sirius snorted. Tis the season to forgive. I'm certain Snivellous took that platitude to heart.

Being cooped up in the house he'd fled as a teen was not putting Sirius Black into a holiday mood. The rooms were all dark, dank and dusty. This place made his prison cell on that gods forsaken rock appear warm and inviting.

Perhaps his mood would be better if he had more then the family's demented House-elf as a companion. While Sirius had the various family portraits to converse with, a bloke could only take so much verbal abuse in one lifetime. This had sparked another round of attempting to remove his mother's portrait. The failure of said attempt created sufficient frustration to trigger another argument with Snape. The disruption of the Order meeting had been met with an ultimatum of sorts from the other members.

"Blasted greasy git, swoops around like an over-sized bat. He treats me as if I were a dog who soiled the carpets. I ought to do something extra special for him." Sirius prowled around the house as he talked to himself, seeking inspiration. He paused in his brother's room.

"I could use Reg's bed curtains to gift wrap the git. Who would I send him to? Umbridge? Now there's a match made in-"

"The Muggle Hell?" A velvety dark voice purred. "I received word of an Order meeting. Imagine my surprise upon arrival when the House-elf said I was the only one here."

"Yet you remained." Sirius moved a step away from his guest.

"The Headmaster was most insistent I attend and remain no matter what. I decided it might be worth while to escape his euphoric holiday enthusiasm. At least you have not polluted your surroundings with an excess of garish ribbons."

Sirius looked Snape over. He still lacked a grasp of basic hygiene. Snivelly was wiry and sharp featured, which did go well with his sharp tongue. Sirius recalled one part of Snape that was not thin.

Both men simultaneously drew their wands and cast spells. Once again, Sirius was a fraction of a second faster. His Stunner hit Snape causing the other wizard's aim to be off.

"Happy Christmas to me." Sirius grinned while levitating his new play toy to the bed. In very little time, he had Snape undressed and tied to the bed using fabric from the dark green bed curtains. Pausing to look at the now helpless potions master, Sirius chuckled. He gagged Snape with a bit of green fabric and used a final strip to tie a nice big bow on Snivelly's cock and balls. Eventually he realized he was being glared at.

"You have yourself to blame for the bow. I decided the house could use some euphoric holiday cheer. Just be happy I removed all the dust before I tied you to the bed." He sat next to Snape.

"There are theories being bandied about as to why we loathe each other." Sirius held up a finger as he listed each one; "Mooney believes our obsession has to do with unrequited love. Tonks thinks he's full of fertilizer and we're a pair of berks suffering from arrested development. Molly views it as familial jealousy. I've not the heart to point out there has never been a Snape on my family tree. Yes, I am just as grateful as you to not be related." He reclined next to Snape and tweaked one nipple then caressed the sparse dark curls on Snape's pale chest.

"Dumbledore may have the right of it. What we have is a grudge. One that somebody has nurtured and fed until its grown to spectacular proportions." Sirius moved his hand lower and ran a finger up the inside of Sn-Severus' thigh. If a bloke plans on shagging someone, he should at least think of them by their given name.

"I like how you shiver and pull against the restraints. Now, the way I see it, we can do this one of two ways. I can keep you like this or we can negotiate your release." He gave into temptation and fondled Severus' ample endowments. "Under the first scenario, I would keep you fed, hydrated and clean. Not that you appear to care much about cleanliness."

Severus growled and tried to say something around the gag.

"Yes, I know. Your usefulness to the Order would be compromised if I kept you chained to a bed as my sex slave." Sirius tweaked one nipple then the other. "Really shouldn't leave you unbalanced." He wondered if it was too soon to let his play-toy in on this particular joke.  Reg used to laugh every time Sirius told him only toying with one body part when it had a partner had two would leave him out of balance.

The look he received let him know Severus had major doubts as to Sirius' mental state.

"You have the right amount of body hair. Not so much you need to shave yet not so little one could forget you are male. As if your package would allow a smidgen of doubt." Sirius cupped Severus' stones and sighed. "I admit it, I am a size queen." He stroked up Severus' long thick cock and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I like the feel of a heavy prick rubbing against me."

He sat up. "Which brings us to the subject of negotiations. The terms of your release, delicious word that," Sirius cleared his throat. "Sex. Plain, simple shagging. NO romance, no bindings, no toys. Just sex. If I want you over the arm of the settee, you move there and bare your bum. If I say shag me in front of my mother's portrait and wank me until I spray come all over, you do just that. If I suggest a pre-meeting or post-meeting blow job, you go down on me. Again, no romance or flowers. Snogging is completely optional, fornication when and where wanted."

Severus made more noises behind his gag and bucked his hips.

"Eager fellow. First we need to clean you up. While I have been celibate for fifteen years, I do have my standards."

Sirius nodded his head at Severus' disbelieving look. "I know it's hard to imagine Gryffindor's Sex God, also known as the Whore of Hogwarts, celibate for so many years. Are you going to be a good boy, or do I need to stun you?" Sirius untied Severus' feet and was kicked. He sighed, "Stunner it is."


Sirius noticed movement from his captive and cupped his chin, raising Severus' head.

"Your hands and feet are bound along with the gag remaining in place. You look fetching wearing Reg's bed curtains. Dark green is a good colour for you. Did you know it takes six drying charms to get…well, of course you do. Small wonder you never wash your hair as thick as it is. Definitely a two person job. When it's short, does it curl like pubes?"

The look Severus gave him promised a slow and painful death.

"I'll take that as a yes. One last bit of cleaning to do." Sirius held up an enema kit.

Severus shook his head no and bellowed around the gag.

"Don't be so shy. I gave myself one while you were asleep. I’m not certain who's topping, so it is best to be properly prepared."


Sirius was leading his captive future shagging partner into the bedroom when he received a surprise. He first realized Severus' hands were free when one grabbed him by the throat.

"I've listened to your prattle long enough."

"Mmph, how did you manage urgh…."

"It is called wandless and wordless magic. If you had shut your mouth long enough for me to concentrate, I would have been free sooner. First, as to shagging, I top. I always top. There are no spells or potions that will make me bottom. Second, if you are a very good boy and do not annoy me, I will make you beg for more." Severus leaned in close and whispered in Sirius' ear. "Finally, I refuse to have my standing with the Dark Lord imperilled because of your insane fantasies. Never, ever say or do anything to me where that blasted House-elf of yours can hear or see it and report back to your cousins. Yes, Black, he does talk to both of your cousins. Remember that at all times, you cretin."

Rough hands tore at his clothing.  After being celibate for so long, Sirius couldn't help but be turned on. He moved one hand to help shove his trousers down and was shoved to his knees.

"It does not suck itself." Severus tugged on Sirius' hair, moving his head closer to Severus' very impressive cock.

Sirius wriggled a bit on his knees. He had to be comfortable in order to give good fellatio. That was his excuse and he would stick with it no matter how he was questioned. Sirius would never admit to being that excited by Snivelly's prick.

He held the prick in question with one hand and licked up the veined underside. Sirius next flicked the tip of his tongue around Severus' foreskin and earned a sound of satisfaction.

The fingers gripping his hair loosened their grip.

Sirius took the cock in his mouth and sucked. He began to move his head up and down the thick length. Hallowing his cheeks, he sucked a bit harder then pulled off to nibble at the base. The entire time, his hand moved along that firm shaft, giving additional pleasure to his partner.

"Enough." Severus declared just as things were getting interesting. "Downstairs. Now."

Sirius accepted a tug to his feet and followed Severus to the entryway. They stopped in front of his mother's portrait. Sirius was positioned so that he was facing the curtains. He was made to bend over and yelped when a hand delivered a sharp slap to his bum. Sirius was both aroused and humiliated.

"Can you count?" Severus demanded while smacking Sirius a second time.

"Uh, one no…two, thank you, Sir?"

"Be sure or we'll begin again."

Sirius thought he might come right then and there. He'd never realized being bare-arsed starkers in front of his mother's portrait while being spanked to her incoherent shrieks was so deliciously arousing. There would have to be more of this.

"Oops, oh, sorry, Three, thank you, Sir." Sirius continued to count. It was a struggle to focus on counting and not on his aching cock. He kept his hands on his knees to prevent himself from wanking and counted out loud and clear with each spank. After twenty, he felt a tingling in his bum as spells cleaned, stretched and lubricated him then Severus shoved his cock in, causing Sirius to shout in mingled pain and surprise.

Severus moved his hips hard and fast, each thrust brought stars to Sirius' eyes.

He couldn't believe how good it felt to be ridden like this while his bum ached. Sirius made happy noises and lowered one hand to wank. His fist moved slowly at first. Eventually, he managed to match Severus' furious pace.

Both men were sweating and panting. Their grunts were muffled by the portrait's cries of outrage.

"Scum! Filth! If my fathers only knew what an embarrassment you would be to the family, they'd have killed me before I gave birth to you. OH, give him another hard one. Yes, just like that! HARDER, YOU BEAST!"

Severus' movements became erratic. He dug his fingers in and thrust deep then stilled.

"Such a good little Tart." He complimented Sirius while his flaccid cock slide out of Sirius' bum. Severus encouraged Sirius to stand up straight.

Sirius continued to wank. His hand was joined by one of Severus'. The additional stimulation, along with the squeezing and slight pinching those stained fingers were giving to his cock was Sirius' undoing. He came with a shout.

"Fugere superiori seminis "

Sirius' spunk flew to the upper part of the portrait. His mother's voice stilled and the curtains slammed shut after the painting was covered with his come. He chuckled.

"If that's how to silence her, I think I want to be regularly shagged right here."

"When I arrive on Christmas Eve, you will be properly cleaned, and wearing a butt plug. I want you stretched enough to accommodate two."

"Double? You will give me double? Who will be our third?"

Severus licked just behind Sirius' ear. "That is my secret. You will receive notification to be prepared and you shall be our eager little slut for the entire night. Understood?"

"Yes, perfectly understood." Sirius turned to look at Severus. "You do understand I want uncomplicated sex? No romance, no formal ties." He moved to the stairs and began to walk up them.

"That was my understanding of your earlier babbling. There will be fornication only between us when we are in private. During Order meetings we will continue as usual." Severus made this declaration on the upper landing.

"Promise me one thing?" Sirius asked as they entered Reg's bedroom.

"What is that?" Severus began to get dressed.

"Next meeting, we have a fight and go to the pantry to settle our differences. I want a quickie with the potential for being seen and heard."

"Kinky bugger, aren't you?"

"To an extent, yes, I am a kinky pervert." Sirius flopped onto the bed and watched Severus sweep out of the room. With a mumbled, "Happy Christmas to me," he rolled over onto his stomach. "Looks like my holidays won't be quite as lonely." The lingering ache in his body made him grin, recalling every single thrust of Severus' cock.
18th December 2010 18:36
wow! that was delicious! very hot!
11th January 2011 01:56
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this
18th December 2010 20:29
May I say that was steamy hot and practically chased the snow from my door?!

If only canon had gone this way...Sirius would have lived and Severus would have had one or two people to not trust so much as shag the anger out on.
11th January 2011 01:58
I'm glad I was able to help clear the snow at your house. *G*

In my world, Tonks tripped and shoved Bella through the veil allowing Sirius to live and be shagged brainless by Severus on a regular basis
11th January 2011 05:05
Oh, I like that image...when are you writing the story? *puppy dog eyes*
11th January 2011 17:56
I should write that one out instead of revisiting the outline and giggling like a maniac.
18th December 2010 21:19
Just what these two need to work out their aggressions!
11th January 2011 01:58
I'm glad you enjoyed this
19th December 2010 01:21
11th January 2011 01:58
Thank you, and what a perfect icon for this fic. *G*
21st December 2010 00:59
This was really hot. I'm just dying now though--who was the person for the third?? Lucius? Not Remus, surely Sirius would have already heard about that from Remus...

Hmmm, Excellent story though. Love how it started out with Black in charget then suddenly--not. Severus is (so( not the type to stay quietly tied up and at someone else's mercy.

Really fun read.

11th January 2011 01:59
Thank you, I'm glad you liked this. I think Severus would bring Kingsley over to help control Sirius.
22nd December 2010 16:47
That was totally wicked!
11th January 2011 02:00
Thanks! I'm glad you liked this
22nd December 2010 20:17
*g* Well Mystery Artist, I must say you managed to fit a lot of my kinks into one story! I love that it starts out with Snape at a disadvantage only to have him turn the tables fairly quickly! Extremely hot story chockablock full of naughtiness, thank you!

What a fantastic way to get rid of the portrait of Mrs. Black! I'm almost surprised that Sirius didn't think of it sooner! lol!
11th January 2011 02:01
I'm glad I was able to use so many of your kinks. Severus is a very creative fellow. Unfortunately, Sirius is not as creative.

I couldn't resist getting rid of the portrait like that. I can just hear the old bird yelling in disapproval
23rd December 2010 01:51
What fun! Great banter and I love the way Severus turned it around. Nothing like putting on a show for Mrs. Black. :) Great job.
11th January 2011 02:02
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this little fic
24th December 2010 07:42
Mmmm, very nice! Really enjoyed that!
11th January 2011 02:02
9th January 2011 04:48
So very hot!
11th January 2011 02:02
Thank you!
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