Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Fic: Private Practice (NC-17, Harry/Pansy, surprise) 
5th July 2010 11:26
Title: Private Practice
Author: [info]alisanne
Characters: Harry Potter/Pansy Parkinson, surprise pairing.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: see theme!
Themes/kinks chosen: cunnilingus
Word Count: 2450
Summary: Harry gets a surprising offer of help that he can't refuse.
Author's notes: Thanks to my awesome beta-readers, [info]sevfan and [info]eeyore9990.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.


~

Private Practice

~

“All she keeps saying’s that I need to learn how to treat a woman properly,” Harry muttered into his ale. “And not to come back until I do.”

Hermione exchanged a look with Ron, who cringed and stood up. “Right, well, I think that’s my cue. I’ll just, um, go play some air-Quidditch with the guys, yeah?” Grabbing his mug, he ambled off towards the bar where Neville and Dean had squared off against Seamus and Colin.

Once he was out of earshot, Hermione reached for her wand to put up a Muffling Shield, but Harry grabbed her hand, distracting her. “What am I going to do?” he wailed.

Hermione sighed and leaned in. “All right, I did ask how things were going so I suppose I deserve this. Tell me what she said. Exactly what she said.”

Harry blushed. “Right. Well, we were...you know.” He made a crude gesture, and Hermione raised an eyebrow. He blundered on. “Anyway, I thought everything was, well, fine, until, when we were done, she rolled over and said I needed to, um, study for next time because she hadn’t...um.”

“I see. So she wants you to...study ways to give her pleasure?” Hermione pursed her lips. “What did you try to do with her, Harry?”

His face bright red, Harry was doing everything to avoid looking at her. “She kept hinting that she wanted me to, um, lick down there--”

Hermione bit her lip. “Mmhm.”

“So I tried, but I don’t think she, er, liked it.” Harry tipped the rest of his ale down his throat. “I suck at being a boyfriend.”

“Not well enough, apparently,” Hermione murmured.

Harry’s mouth dropped open. “Hermione!”

“Sorry.” She cleared her throat. “So basically, you need a bit more, er, practice giving cunnilingus.”

“Giving what?”

Hermione blushed. “Licking down there.”

“I guess.” Harry sighed, peering into his empty goblet. “But how? I don’t wanna continue practicing on her until I get it right! This is so hard. Sometimes I wonder if Ginny ’n I’re really meant to be.”

“I have often wondered that myself,” Hermione said softly.

Harry blinked at her, puzzled.

She sighed. “Never mind. As for the other, I can find you a book--” Hermione paused as Harry glared at her. “Maybe not.”

He shook his head. “I’ll figure it out. Just...don’t say anything to Ron, all right?”

“I think I can manage that,” Hermione agreed, seeming relieved. “That’s a conversation I hope to never have with him, actually. Frank details about his sister’s sex life is not high on the list of things we like to talk about.”

“Yeah.” Harry hiccupped. “Y’know? I may’ve had a bit too much t’drink.”

She patted his arm. “You think?” Shaking her head, Hermione stood up. “Seriously, Harry, all couples go through rough times. I don’t think you need to do anything but continue trying. Believe me, Ginny appreciates the effort.”

Harry sighed. “Yeah, maybe.”

She smiled. “Trust me on that. Now stay here, I’ll be right back.”

While she was gone, Harry examined the bottom of his empty goblet, thinking. Maybe I should let Hermione find me some books--

“Problems in paradise, Potter?”

His head snapping up, Harry peered into the shadows surrounding the shrouded figure who was sitting in the next booth. “Who’s there?”

The person leaned forward, revealing their face. “It’s just me, Potter.” Pansy Parkinson smirked as he gaped at her. “I overheard your conversation with Granger, and it occurs to me that I may have a solution for your problem.”

“You heard that?” Harry groaned, wanting to bury his face in his hands. Well fuck.

“Relax, I’m not going to tell anyone.” Pansy raised an eyebrow when he frowned at her. “Not because of any altruism, either. No, I’m not going to spill to the papers or anyone else simply because we can help each other.”

After Harry managed to close his mouth, he said, “How th’ hell can we help ’ch other?”

After she took a sip of her drink, she chuckled, her voice husky. “I’d have thought it would be clear even to you, Potter. You need some instruction regarding certain...aspects of female anatomy, and I’m horny.”

For a moment Harry thought he was hearing things. “You want to shag me?”

“Why not?” Pansy stood up, and when Harry saw what she was wearing, his mouth fell open again. She smirked. “Like what you see? I certainly haven’t had any complaints.”

Swallowing hard, Harry looked her up and down, noting the short skirt and the tight, low-cut shirt that left little to the imagination. She was definitely dressed to pull. “I can’t just leave my friends--”

“Do you really want to explain to them that you’re leaving with me so I can teach you about sex?” She glanced over towards where Ron was still playing air-Quidditch. Harry saw that Hermione was standing behind him, cheering him on.

“They’ll worry.”

“Then leave them a note.” She moved past him, pausing to lean in and whisper, “The offer’s not open-ended, you know, Potter. If you’re not coming, I’ll find someone who...will.”

Ginny was always complaining that he wasn’t spontaneous enough. Harry was sure that this wasn’t what she’d had in mind, but if it could help him get a bit more experience, she probably wouldn’t complain. As long as she never found out how he’d obtained it. “I will if you swear an Unbreakable Vow.”

Pansy inclined her head. “Why, Potter, don’t you trust me?” She laughed before he could answer. “You’re learning. Fine.” Looking around, she finally pointed. “Let’s have Lovegood witness it.”

Luna was only too happy to administer the vow, making sure to add in a clause about Pansy not hurting or hexing Harry, not that he thought he was in any danger of that. It had been three years since the war, and she was even in the Auror training programme.

Hermione and Ron were still distracted, so Harry left a note for them with Luna, who promised to deliver it, then turned to face Pansy, who was tapping her foot impatiently. “Lead on.”

“Excellent, I like to lead,” she murmured, stepping close, and a moment after she had grasped his arm, he was standing in a well-appointed living room.

Harry stumbled and she caught him. “Thanks,” he said, trying to look around.

“Come on. And be quiet, my roommate’s a light sleeper.”

“Roommate?” Harry queried as she dragged him down a hallway.

Pansy gestured towards a closed door. “There. We both sleep behind Silencing Charms but I don’t like to take chances.”

“So you’re not involved with him or her--?”

Pansy pulled Harry into a bedroom and shut the door, putting up fairly strong Privacy Charms. The room was sparsely decorated, and on the side table there was a carafe, two glasses and what looked like a phial of something. “Involved with my roommate?” She smirked. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t, I just don’t like the idea of some jealous lover bursting in.” Harry eyed the side table pointedly.

Pansy began shucking her clothes. “We’re not involved, although we do seem to have similar taste in men. And before you ask, yes, I was planning on having company tonight. Aren’t you lucky it was you?”

Harry nodded, distracted by her half nakedness. She was down to lacy bra and knickers, and as he watched, she sat on the bed and undid her bra before reclining. “Well?”

Hurriedly undoing his trousers, Harry approached the bed, still clad in his vest and pants.

She sat up on her elbows, eyeing him critically. “I don’t care if you’re naked, but I think you’ll be more comfortable if you are.”

“You still have knickers.”

She smirked. “Perhaps you could deal with them?”

Taking the unsubtle hint, Harry ditched his shirt and pants before crawling up onto the bed beside her. Hands shaking, he nevertheless managed to slip her barely-there knickers off, tossing them over the side of the bed.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” In a sudden move, she straddled his waist, her bottom resting against his erection. “Now, shall we commence the lesson?”

Harry’s hands automatically came up to clasp her thighs. “Er--”

“Wine?” she asked, reaching for the carafe and pouring herself a goblet.

“No.”

“Suit yourself.” Tossing the wine back, she shivered for a moment before setting the goblet down. “Now, let’s get to it,” she murmured, moving up onto her knees.

Licking his lips, Harry slid down the bed until he was directly beneath her cunt. “What do I--?”

“Start from the outside and work your way in,” she said. “Use your fingers and don’t be afraid to touch...”

Harry spread her labia with his fingers, teasing the folds.

“Yes, like that.” Her hips were shaking, and Harry, following his instincts, leaned up and ran the tip of his tongue along the skin.

“Can’t do this like this--” she gasped after a few moments, and before Harry could react she was rolling onto her back, her legs spread. Smirking over at him, she raised an eyebrow. “That’s better. Now, what are you waiting for?”

Scrambling, Harry hastened to comply, settling between her spread legs and resuming his activities. Running his tongue over the folds, he began to flick it gently back and forth over her clit.

“You...show...promise...” she moaned, her fingers clenching his shoulders. “Just...slow down.”

Harry did, making sure to taste as much as he could.

“Fingers--” Pansy gasped. “Slip them inside.”

“Mmm,” Harry agreed, tonguing her clit as he slid first one, then two fingers inside her cunt. He was aching, his cock throbbing insistently, but he wasn’t sure she would let him shag her that way.

“Fuck, yes.” She began to shudder, her nails digging into Harry’s shoulders as she writhed beneath his tongue. He just kept swirling, pausing occasionally to suck her clit, which seemed to make her shake more.

After a few more long moments of intermittent shuddering and moaning, Pansy reached down and pulled Harry up. “Enough,” she whispered. “Fuck me.”

Harry didn’t need to be told twice. He shifted until his cock was poised to enter her. But of course, that was too easy.

“Not there,” she snapped, reaching for the phial he’d spotted earlier on the bedside table. “We’re going to do something different.”

“We are?”

Pansy nodded, and as Harry gaped at her again, she arched, raising a leg and propping it up on his shoulder. Shifting, she reached behind herself until her own finger was circling her arsehole. Closing her eyes, she licked her lips as she fingered herself.

“What are you doing?” Harry whispered.

She raised an eyebrow. “I’m a pureblood virgin witch, Potter. And I have to prove I’m a virgin when I get married, so you get to fuck me in the arse.” She winked. “Don’t worry, you’ll like this.”

Harry groaned.

“I guess that answers whether Ginevra let you do this.” Turning over, she got up onto her knees. “Put this on your fingers and help stretch me,” she said, handing him the phial. “Why should I do all the work?”

Harry did, then slipped a finger into her arse, moving it around until it seemed looser. Once he’d managed to get two fingers in, she wriggled her arse.

“I’m ready, just do it.”

Harry eyed her doubtfully. “I don’t think--”

“That’s obvious,” she snapped, turning her head to glare at him. “Which is why I’ll think for both of us. Now get over here and fuck me in the arse!”

Gnawing his bottom lip, Harry lined himself up and pushed. Shockingly, he slid in easily and Pansy, after an initial grunt, seemed to relish it.

He moved gently at first, concerned about hurting her, but the way she was pressing backwards made it obvious that she was enjoying herself, and soon Harry was thrusting deep, panting with effort. This was tighter than anything he’d ever experienced before, and her muscles seemed to ripple around him. “Fuck.”

“Yes,” she agreed, her fingers busy in front.

Between her rhythmic pushing back to meet him and her tight muscles, Harry was lost and he came, groaning as he emptied himself into Pansy.

She shuddered through what, by Harry’s count, was her fourth orgasm before she collapsed onto the pillows. Harry rolled off her, panting to catch his breath.

“Well, that was a success,” Pansy managed after a moment. Her voice sounded off but Harry chalked it up to the sex.

“Mmm,” he murmured. “That was brilliant.”

The bed shifted and Harry heard Pansy pouring another glass of wine. By the time he opened his eyes, she was sitting up, her back against the headboard.

“Um, are you okay?” he asked. “I got a bit rough there by the end.”

“I’m fine.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m no g--fainting flower.”

“No, I guess you’re not.” Harry cleared his throat. “So I should, um, go.”

“Mmhm.” She closed her eyes. “You can use my Floo.”

“Thanks.” Silently gathering his clothes, Harry got dressed before standing awkwardly before the bed. Pansy, still naked, was sprawled there. “So, um, can I call you again?”

Pansy cracked one eye open. “Sure, although you should know, you’re probably gay, Potter.”

“What?” Harry shook his head, beyond surprise at that point. “Why do you say that?”

She smirked. “You really know your way around an arse.”

“That’s not--”

Pansy held up a hand. “Not that you did bad in the other, mind you.” She shrugged. “I just think you should explore all your options. Something to consider.”

“Thanks, I think.” Harry walked towards the fireplace and, after casting one last look at Pansy, took a pinch of powder and left in a whoosh of green flame.

~

When Potter was gone, the figure lounging on the bed sprang up and, after grabbing a dressing gown, hurried towards the door, slipped into the hallway, and walked towards the other bedroom.

“Come in,” said the occupant when the knock came.

Pansy looked up from her book as Draco walked in. “Looks like you had fun.”

Draco smirked. “You have no idea. So, may I have more of your hair? Something tells me I’ll need it.”

“Of course, darling.” Pansy chuckled. “What’s mine is yours.”

~
Comments 
5th July 2010 17:14
I KNEW it!!!!
6th July 2010 02:21
Hee! Did you? Damn, and I thought I was being all sneaky and stuff. *g*
Thanks, hon!
5th July 2010 18:47
I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! *cackles* Ahhhh, that was perfect. Oh, Harry. :D :D :D I totally love the detail about pureblood virgins, though. Makes sense, for that culture. *moar cackling*
6th July 2010 02:31
*glee*
Is it bad that I wanted to dance when I saw your comment? ;) I love surprising people. *g*
Thank you, sweetie! *beams*
10th July 2010 00:39
Also, I'd love to see you link it at hp_unfaithful, if you're interested! :) I super love how Harry justifies sleeping with another woman with the rationale that he needs the practice. HEE!
10th July 2010 04:58
Ooh, cool suggestion! :)
*runs to Xlink*
5th July 2010 18:50
HAAAA!!! Sweet! You got me to read het, but thank Merlin for the slashy payoff! Whew.
6th July 2010 02:33
*giggles*
Yeah, I knew my FList would avoid the het, so I'm thrilled you took a chance on it!
And you know me, I do love to slip in a tricky ending when i can. ;)

Thank you, hon!
5th July 2010 22:08
Oh NAUGHTY Draco!

And Pansy.

And Hermione, for that matter... All rather delicious and cute (and hot).
6th July 2010 02:50
Hehehe. I think everyone is being a bit naughty here, actually. Good thing for us though, right? ;)
Thanks, my dear!
5th July 2010 22:13
*snickers* Oh, I love this and the surprise pairing. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when Harry figures it out.

Excellent.
6th July 2010 02:51
Ahaha! Yeah, it may take him a while, but he will, and oh, how much fun will THAT be? ;)
Thanks, dear!
5th July 2010 23:50
I should have guessed. I had a niggling feeling, and I wasn't going to read, but that niggling feeling wouldn't go away. So I read, and I loved!
6th July 2010 02:52
YAY for your niggling feeling. That was prolly your slasher instincts reminding you how tricky I can be. ;)
Thanks, sweetie!
5th July 2010 23:56
Haha! I loved this, it was fantastic. Stellar ending!!! :D
6th July 2010 02:59
Hee! Thanks so much! I had fun with this so I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
6th July 2010 01:05
OH.....*thud*

You MUST do a sequel to this. It's simply to good to just let it lie.

I am, although I read far too much fic, obviously naive, because I did not get who it was until you did the reveal. And I was just floored...so perfect.

It would have worked really either way because Pansy is so well, Draco in a dress really...lol.

This has to be one of your best yet Alisanne!


Oh and what a story they could tell years later if they get together.

"Daddy, how did you and Poppa get together?"

"Well, Poppa was looking to learn... He needed some tutoring and I offered to assist, sort of."

As "Aunt Pans" in the background cracks up.



Clare
6th July 2010 03:09
*giggles*
Thanks, sweetie! I have an unholy amount of glee when I manage to sneak one over on my readers. ;)
And yes, that would be a tricky thing to have to explain to teh chillens.
We'll see about a sequel. Maybe once I get caught up with some fests. *g*

Thanks, again, hon!
6th July 2010 04:05
Bwaaa haaa haaaa....

Tricksy Ali........ and trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrricksy Draco!

Enjoyed this, especially Harry and Hermione's talk. *snort*

And, well, the sex, of course. Yum! ;)
6th July 2010 22:19
Hehehe! Thanks, hon!
And yeah, poor Harry. How embarrassing to have to talk to his BFF about such an issue. ;)
Glad you enjoyed it, sweetie!
6th July 2010 05:26
Good show on Harry needing to learn what to do, and on 'Pansy' giving him lessons, though I do wonder if he'd have consented to the whole thing had he known he was being lied to.
6th July 2010 22:20
I doubt he would have, had he known who was giving him his 'lessons'. Still, something tells me he'll find out eventually, then Draco should watch out. ;)
Thank you!
6th July 2010 08:13
I knew it! Of course it was Draco!! Brilliant :)
6th July 2010 22:21
Hee! Did you? I tried to be as subtle as possible. ;)
Thank you!
6th July 2010 12:39
GREAT!!!!! OMG! XD I can't believe it!
I loved all that "I'm a pureblood virgin girl" XD But now I love more! And I want more!!!
6th July 2010 22:21
Hehehe. We'll see. I may yet revisit this world. ;)
Thanks, dear! I really had a lot of fun with this one. *wg*
6th July 2010 16:38
Perfect. I knew Draco wasn't Slytherin for nothing! Very funny (and hot even with the OMG - HET!).
6th July 2010 22:23
*giggles*
Funny how the het takes on a different connotation when you consider these circumstance, isn't it?. ;)
Thanks so much!
7th July 2010 05:07
I guessed right at the very last moment, not until "something to consider." This was SUCH fun. Hee!! Sexy and lovely, and now Draco will make sure Harry learns what he needs. :) Well done!
7th July 2010 18:24
Hee! That's about the time I wanted people to begin to ponder the possibility that all wasn't as straightforward as it seemed, so yay that it worked! *glee*
And yes, Harry is in for quite the education. Heh.
Thanks so much for the lovely comment! :)
8th July 2010 11:40
stories like these make me happy i am such an allrounder :) - and love het, femmeslash and slash! this one was perfect for almost everything. now draco/pansy should have a go at ginny :D
8th July 2010 15:09
Ahaha! Ooh, that would be fun. *giggles*
Thanks, my dear! And yeah, being a pairing whore has its benefits. ;)
8th July 2010 17:08
best use of Polyjuice EVER! you got me with that one.
9th July 2010 03:58
*glee*
*dances*
Thanks, dear! :)
9th July 2010 04:05
Aha! Awesome. You gave the game away with the g-fainting flower, but that was rather the point, wasn't it? So, apparently Harry *does* know his way around a cunt, but perhaps he and Ginny should actually have that conversation with each other :).

Draco is rather lucky to have such an understanding flatmate. The sauce! Lovely :D.
9th July 2010 22:02
*dances* 'g-fainting flower' was precisely when I'd hoped to have people start questioning what was going on, so yay that it worked. ;)
And happily, mis-communication with Ginny means Draco has a way in. Heh.

Thanks, my dear!
10th July 2010 17:49
LOL! I didn't see that one coming, I admit it! It was great. It felt a bit weird to be reading het, but the ending compensated for all awkwardness!
10th July 2010 20:52
*g*
Thanks for taking the chance on the 'het', sweetie! :)
And I admit I was pleased I managed to trick people until the very end. *wg*
:)
14th July 2010 19:44
OMG Surprise! :D Love Pansy giving Harry lessons. *giggles* Love the het anal too. Guh! Great job.
15th July 2010 01:19
*glee* Did I get you, too? *dances*
Potter clearly needed lessons from...someone. ;)
Thanks, bb! *smooch*
17th July 2010 03:15
Ha, I had guessed, but it was still very fun seeing "Pansy" and Harry together (and I'm sure Draco didn't mind that ability to have multiple orgasms). Very hot!
19th July 2010 02:25
Heee! What gave it away (I'd love to know for next time *g*)?
And yes, I'm sure Draco will continue to have fun as Pansy for as long as he can.
Thanks, my dear!
30th April 2014 15:30
Ahahah! So funny. Oh, Draco, I love you too much. <33
30th April 2014 20:31
*giggles*
Draco loves himself, too, so it all works out pretty well, doesn't it? ;)
Thank you, hon!
2nd May 2014 16:12
Oh, what fun! So glad I saw the rec for this yesterday.
3rd May 2014 21:44
Yay that you enjoyed it, hon!
Thank you. :)
And isn't [info]thusspakekate's sequel FAB? *g*
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