Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: purplefluffycat
From: A Wicked Watcher: tjs_whatnot

Title: Two Can Keep A Secret
Characters/Pairings: Severus Snape/Gilderoy Lockhart
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Cross-dressing,
Other Warnings: light-bdsm, rimming, oral sex, orgasm denial, felching, spanking, ball-gag
Word Count: 7,800
Summary: Some call it “play” and others call it “torture.” Severus Snape spends his Christmas remembering what he alone knows.
Author's Notes: This is quite possibly the filthiest thing I’ve ever written! Thank you Daily Deviants for allowing me to play! Also, thank you to my Mistress of Porn who also is an amazing Mistress of Passive Voice! I hope I made you proud! Remaining mistakes are all my own.




Severus Snape sat on the uncomfortable hospital chair, the fringe of the red and black satin and lace knickers he wore, concealed under his layers of dark buttoned clothes, rubbed against his hipbone and buttocks unpleasantly. Like the years before, he again wondered why it was that he did this. Why every Christmas night he would show up in Gilderoy's room long after the staff and neighboring patient's families had departed for their own holiday festivities. Why he would slink through halls, slip into his room while Gilderoy tossed and turned in his empty-minded slumber. Severus wondered what kept the man tossing and turning. He had never been a fitful sleeper before. But, it had been years since they had shared a room, or a bed.

That is why he had come, he thought as he picked imaginary lint off his robes and readjusting himself against the chair; the slick fabric of the knickers causing him to slide against the plastic of the seat. He had come to remember. He was the only one who could anymore. The memories seemed important enough for him to spend one night thinking of a past and a secret that was completely obliterated. 

What was that Muggle expression, "Two can keep a secret if one of them was dead," Severus thought. While he wasn't cruel enough to have wished this fate upon Gilderoy, he did quirk his lips regardless. In the Wizarding world there was more than one way to keep a secret.

***

Severus was 20 years old when he  showed up to start his first teaching internship. He instantly regretted his choice. There were too many people, too much chaos and way too many children. 

It had been Dumbledore's idea. That should have been his first alert. He should have known that the job Dumbledore offered at Hogwarts would come with a condition. It seemed the old man wasn't worried about Severus' ability in potions, but was concerned about his ability to interact and mold young minds. A year mentoring at a home for wayward wizards was, according to Dumbledore, absolutely essential, and since Severus needed the Hogwarts job for more than one reason, he had agreed, against his better judgment.

He had grown used to taunts and terrors in his Hogwarts days, so he wasn't really fussed that he and his dark, drab robes were looked at with disdain in this sunny, warm environs. And while these boys were even more malicious than the Marauders, if that was even possible, the hardest part of his position was his roommate.

He showed up in a shower of light and golden-haired exuberance, like a prince of a far away kingdom, flanked by his royal subjects. Severus was blinded by the brilliance of color and good cheer as no less than six burly, blond clones entered his small dorm room, laughing about something; not even noticing him standing by his bed, his suitcase open and his black robes strewn across his skinny bed. They practically pushed him into the closet before he was detected. Then instantly, the party was over and all sparkling blue eyes trained on him with a mix of curiosity and revulsion. He actually found himself cowering. Just for a moment.

"Why hello there," the one in the middle boomed, breaking from the herd. Extended his hand he took Severus’ hand in a surprisingly firm grip. "I'm Gilderoy, Gilderoy Lockhart, and you must be my roommate...?"

He waited an uncomfortably long time for Severus to remember his manners. "Sorry. Severus Snape."

"Splendid. Let me introduce you to my new best mates..." and he went about naming off names, each more ridiculous than the one before. Severus pretended to pay attention for about five seconds, but after Bradley, and Sturgeon, he tuned Gilderoy's voice out completely. He would hone a trait through the next couple of months. Thankfully, though, they didn't really run in the same circles. Gilderoy ran in the circle of the whole entire staff and most of the children, and Severus’ circle was a bit, um, smaller.

The first couple of weeks Severus waited for the teasing, hazing and taunting to start, instigated by his roommate. The man must find Severus strange, so different from him and the rest of his posse of followers. It never happened though. Severus had no explanation for what did happen.

"Severus, a bunch of us are organizing a dance, would you like to join us?"

"What? Surely you're putting me on." 

Here it was, here was where it was going to start.

"What do you mean? It would be fun. But if you'd rather."

Severus would rather.

"Severus, I'm taking some of the older boys to the theater this Friday, would you like to join us?"

"Why?" Severus asked on his guard again. He knew what was going on. Gilderoy was luring him into a false sense of camaraderie and friendship. He'd not fall for that.

"Severus, I'm having trouble sorting out this bit of reading in a way that I can explain it to the children. Do you think you could show me what would work?" Ah, here's what it was. Gilderoy was buttering him up, being nice to get him to do his work for him. He'd certainly had that happen before. Lily had never got the good marks in potions after she had disregarded him.

"I'm busy," Severus answered curtly.

"Oh, okay. I'll figure it out."

"Severus, I'm going into town for a bit of holiday shopping. Would you like to accompany me?" 

"What is this?" Severus asked, finally having enough of this put on and tired of waiting for the torture to begin. No one was going toy with him anymore.

"What do you mean?" Gilderoy asked, his dazzlingly blue eyes puzzled.

"Why are you being nice to me? Trying to include me in things? Do you really think I'd fit in shopping with you and your cohorts?"

"I'm not trying to be nice. I'm just... well...we're friends aren't we?"

"Friends?" Severus asked flabbergasted.

"You don't like me?" Gilderoy asked, lip actually sticking out like Severus had seen the children do just before he brought them to tears.

Taken aback, Severus stared at him. What was this man playing at?

"It's never...I don't...it's not a question of my liking you. I know you don't like me and yet you insist on inviting me on these little soirees that are incomprehensible to me."

"Why do you think I don't like you?" Gilderoy asked.

"Huh?" Severus asked, lost for words and hating himself for it. "Well look at you, and then look at me."

Gilderoy took him literally and scanned himself and then Severus, then shrugged. 

"You're...well, you're...you. And I...I'm...not."

Gilderoy laughed. "Well, of course not. I like you. I hoped you liked me. Even if we are slightly different. Even if I'm a bit popular and you're a bit..."

"Of an outcast?" Severus finished.

"Reclusive I was going to say. You think you're an outcast?"

"I've always been an outcast. Let me guess, you've always been popular?"

Gilderoy contemplated the question. "I guess I have. Interesting. I've never really thought of it before. Why do you think that is?"

"Why what is? Why you've been popular or  why you haven't thought of it? Actually, I think they might have the same answer. Because you have a rather small intellect."

He regretted it as soon as it came out of his mouth. The saying of the cruel thing without provocation and the regret were both new to him. The whole situation jarred him.

"Well, there's no reason we can't be friends. If you can accept my being popular and well liked, and I can accept your reclusiveness and rather surly demeanor."

He was owed that, Severus thought. And because the entire conversation had confused him, he found himself agreeing to go shopping with Gilderoy.

He'd never have believed it were possible.

***

As they made their way to town, Severus noticed that there was no one meeting them. "Where are all of your friends?"

"Oh, were you hoping they might join us? I thought it might be nice, just the two of us."

Severus didn't know what to say to this. He'd never had a comparable experience. Not even in the Slytherin house where his status and social standing were suspect and cast him as outsider with people who were not predisposed to be overly friendly anyway. In some strange ways, he only got friends by getting pummeled by the Gryffindor douche bags. But what sort of friendship can pity sustain?

He was surprised to how much he was enjoying their outing as the day worn on. It turned out that Gilderoy had little money as well, so they spent more time just gazing longingly in the windows displaying all the fashions and trinkets that witches and wizards are supposed to want enough to sell their souls for meaningless jobs to attain. 

"So much wasted beauty," Gilderoy sighed. "The ones who have it don't appreciate it. I wonder if I'll be that way when I am rich and famous."

"When? Shouldn't that be if? What guarantees do you have that you'll be either?"

Gilderoy shrugged and walked to the next window. It displayed robes of every color of the rainbow. "I'm too special and determined for it not to happen. Would you mind if we went in here? I want to...uh...check on some things."

Severus noticed Gilderoy's cheeks redden and there was something charming about it. "Sure."

They went into the shop and while Gilderoy gravitated to the shiny, brightly gaudy pastels in the front window, Severus made his way to the back of the shop where the traditional robes of dark and unassuming black were located.

They spent a long time in the shop. After a while Severus had seen all the robes, traveling cloaks and gloves he could stomach and went looking for Gilderoy to see if he was done drooling over silks and colors yet. He wasn't in the front of the shop where Severus had left him, he wasn't in the accessories of belts and hats, nor in the shoe and boot section. Severus just assumed that he had been abandoned in this shop-- yes, that's the way it was going to happen. That's how the taunting would begin.

He was just about to exit the shop and skulk home when he heard a soft moan come from behind a curtain. He didn't know why he looked, but he guessed it was because he was curious to what could make anyone moan in a back of a robe shop. He approached the beaded curtains slowly and holding one beaded string and shifting it slightly he was able to see that the room behind it sold something other than wizard's robes. There were hangers floating in clusters around the room and on each hanger were the flimsiest pieces of silken fabrics of reds, blacks and deep blue that shimmered in the shape of knickers, brassieres and corsets. But not like anything Severus had ever seen before. 

Gilderoy was in the middle of the room and he was holding a hanger in his hand at arm's length, investigated the way the light hit the ruby red corset. Then he held it to his body and looked at the mirror on the other side of the room. Severus ducked so that he wouldn't be seen in the reflection. Seeing Gilderoy's eyes glazed over and immersed in his own reflection, he no longer thought it mattered. The man wasn't going to see anything other than what was playing in his mind's eye. Taking the tips of his fingers lightly across the fabric, Gilderoy moaned again. His cheeks were reddened and there was such a longing in his eyes that for some reason, Severus flushed just watching. Severus suddenly had an overwhelming desire to see what Gilderoy would look like if he were to put on the garment.

Severus slowly backed out of the hallway so as not to have to think too hard on that random thought. For a moment, he was convinced that Gilderoy had seen him through the mirror and the thought of that filled Severus with a deep shame that confused him just as much as everything else had.

He waited outside the store for Gilderoy to finish and when he came out moments later he gave no indication that he had seen anything. Severus sighed inwardly. For a bit. He could never be sure, but Gilderoy showed no shame or any outward signs of perversions of any kind. It was surely perversion, Severus thought. Or was it? If he had been seen watching, what would Gilderoy think, would he have enjoyed it? Or was he worried that Severus would tell everyone his secret. For weeks after he agonized over this, thinking about Gilderoy and those knickers and wondering what he would look like in them. He wondered after he left if Gilderoy had put them on. The weeks just continued as if nothing had happened, which only added to Severus' confusion.

In the end, there was only one thing to do.

"Happy Christmas," Severus said, handing a ribboned package to Gilderoy.

Gilderoy smiled one of his smiles that just looked like he was going to burst with happiness. Severus never quite knew how he did that, but was afraid that any day he actually would burst and Severus would get a full-on explosion of Gilderoy joy all over himself.

Delicately, Gilderoy pulled on the ribbon and let it fall aside as he lifted the box. He bit his lip with anticipation as he pulled aside the thin paper. His emotions, so close to the surface always, Severus watched his curiosity turn to excitement straight to embarrassment, confusion, tinged with longing. Looking up to Severus, the curiosity was back in the front.

Smiling at Gilderoy's inability to speak--truly a first--he answered the unspoken question. "I saw you admiring it a few weeks ago."

He had wanted the statement to have a tinge of threat in it, as if to say, I know about you. I own you. But when he saw Gilderoy's blush and his nodded thanks, he wasn't sure if it had translated properly.

Gilderoy reached behind him and pulled out a similarly wrapped box, only this one was long and thin. "Happy Christmas, Severus."

Severus swallowed nervously and took the box with a nod of his own. He forced his fingers to steadily undo the ribbon and lift the box's lid. His jaw dropped before he even really knew what it was he was looking at, and what exactly Gilderoy wanted him to do with it. He picked it up delicately, watching in awe as the long, thin piece of red fabric in the box, presented itself to him.

"What? I mean, what is...? What?"

Gilderoy smirked. "I saw you admiring me admiring this outfit a few weeks ago. I thought perhaps you'd like to play. You do play don't you?"

Severus didn't even know what that meant. He just stared at Gilderoy whose cheeks began to redden.

"Have you never played before?" Gilderoy asked.

"If you're saying what I think you're saying, then yes. We just didn't call it that."

"What did you call it?"

"Torture," Severus whispered.

Gilderoy must have assumed he was being funny. He threw his head back and laughed merrily. "Well, we could do some of that too. I'm always up for new and fun things to do while wearing frillies." And before Severus could say anything to object, Gilderoy had gone to the bathroom with his gift and a pip in his step.

Severus sat there stunned. This certainly wasn't what he had in mind when he had given the gift. Was it? The blood rushing to his face suggested otherwise. 

He sat there and fluctuated between intrigue and horror, waiting and hoping that Gilderoy would never come out of the bathroom. When he did, Severus was going to have to make a decision and he sensed this decision would affect his whole life. Of course he'd been with men before, Death Eater initiations were filled with sexual rituals of all kinds-- usually ending in some sort of humiliation. But this was something altogether different. For one, Severus had a choice. He didn't have to do anything he didn't want. Secondly, there was no one watching, judging, and ordering.

He found himself titillated by the choice presented to him. What would it be like?

Before he'd really even made a decision, Gilderoy came out and stood before him, one hand on his hip, the other against the door, and apparently, Severus' prick made the decision for him. He swallowed and stood up. Gilderoy sashayed into the room on red heels, black leggings, clipped to the corset of red and black lace to match the silk knickers. Severus' lip twitched, if nothing else, this adventure practically guaranteed that Gilderoy would never turn against him and make him look foolish in the future. Not if Severus was the one to take control now. He approached Gilderoy, walking around him slowly, appraisingly. He whistled through his teeth at the form of Gilderoy's arse, and how the silken fabric stretched tightly across it, accentuating its shape. He returned to Gilderoy's front and stood before him.
"Exquisite," Severus hissed.

Gilderoy bowed his head demurely at the compliment. Severus' cock twitched at the expression of submission. Taking his middle finger and sliding it under the silk of Gilderoy's corset where the tightness of the ties had created cleavage, Severus hooked his finger under and pulled Gilderoy to him, kissing him roughly. He demanded entrance into Gilderoy's mouth without so much as an invitation of pursed lips relenting or tongue welcoming. He just drove himself into Gilderoy's mouth, probing relentlessly, licking the back of his mouth, that arch of his upper palate before Gilderoy woke to the assault and began one of his own, sucking on Severus' tongue almost enticingly painful. Severus had his hands around Gilderoy's neck possessively. Gilderoy was clawing at Severus' robes and Severus agreed, he was entirely too clothed. It was too hot in this room for this many coverings. He removed his robe and pulled off the shirt he was wearing under it. Gilderoy reached for his trousers, but Severus pushed him away, breaking the kiss.

"Slow down," he ordered.

Gilderoy moaned and moved his hands to Severus' chest instead. Twirling the hair curled there seductively, biting his lip, Gilderoy gave Severus a look, daring Severus to dominate him. Taking his hand behind Gilderoy's neck, Severus brought Gilderoy forcefully back to his mouth for another devouring kiss. This time while their tongues sought each other out and tangled from one mouth to the other, Severus growled a spell. While the incantation was jumbled, it was understood. Severus had just forbidden Gilderoy to come until he lifted the spell.

"You weren't kidding when you said it was torture were you?" Gilderoy asked.

"Oh, but such sweet torture it is. You'll see."

Running his hands down Gilderoy's arms, Severus circled Gilderoy's wrists with his middle finger and thumb. Gathering them together, Severus held them with one of his and reached for the long satin ribbon with the other. Gilderoy moaned into Severus’ mouth as he felt the ribbons wrap around his wrists tightly.

Breaking the kiss caused Gilderoy to moan with need. This spurred Severus on. Trailing his hand lightly along Gilderoy's shoulders, Severus walked around Gilderoy, reveling in the shiver that rose on his tinged pink skin and the slight pull on his restraints. Severus took both of the ends of the lace that crisscrossed along Gilderoy's back and untying the bow, pulled tightly. Gilderoy gasped and then sucked in his chest and abdomen, allowing Severus to squeeze him into the corset. Gilderoy hissed as Severus trailed his tongue from the top of the corset, where the spine curved up into his neck before wetting the skin on Gilderoy's shoulder. Scraping his teeth along the pulse point on the side of Gilderoy's neck and then sucking greedily on the warmed skin.

"You like the corset?" Gilderoy said, a slight whine in his voice.

"Mmmhmmm," Severus answered as he hastily toed off his shoes while undoing his trousers. He pulled them and his briefs down and off. Positioning his body flush against Gilderoy's, so that his cock rubbed against the silk of Gilderoy's knickers. Gilderoy tried to grab around him for Severus, to touch him, hold him. With a whine, he gave up and instead tried to reach for his own hardened cock. Severus pulled Gilderoy's elbows sharply towards him, forcing his hands against his stomach and pulling his body against Severus'. One of Severus’ hands snaked around Gilderoy, holding his arms, while the other clutched Gilderoy's hip to steady them as Severus ground his cock along the crevice of Gilderoy's arse, the knickers sheathing Severus’ cock luxuriously.

After a few thrusts, Severus reached his hand up and pulled the hair in the back of Gilderoy's head, forcing his head back and exposing his neck, allowing Severus to mark him, sucking sloppy and harsh while Gilderoy wiggled his ass against Severus' cock, still struggling against his restraints. Just as Gilderoy succeeded to break out of the restraints, Severus pulled away and took the ribbon still wrapped around one wrist tightly while he Accioed one of the desk chairs. Sitting Gilderoy down, he began tying him to the chair, leaving no wiggle room.

He then walked back around to stand in front of Gilderoy, his aching cock at Gilderoy's eye level. Gilderoy licked his lips staring at it.

"What do you want?" Severus asked, running a hand down his abdomen before wrapping his fingers along the base of his cock.

"I want to fuck you with my mouth!" Gilderoy exclaimed, unabashed.

Severus' smile was slow and wanton. He ran his hand up his length, circling a thumb over the slit.

"Please," Gilderoy moaned. "I want to taste you."

Severus walked towards Gilderoy slowly, while Gilderoy's eyes almost crossed following his prize. When Severus was inches from Gilderoy's hungry mouth, he stopped, teasing Gilderoy, waiting for him to whine again. When he did, Severus smiled, taking that one last step. Gilderoy shocked him with how deeply he took Severus' cock. Gilderoy sucked so hard that it was hard for Severus to pull back and when he drove himself in again, he felt his cock hit the back of Gilderoy's throat and this time it was Severus moaning. The next time he felt Gilderoy's attempt to swallow and the moan turned into a cry of dizzying pleasure as his come flooded Gilderoy's mouth.

He pulled out and looked at Gilderoy, who looked at him with such innocence. Severus wiped the dribble of his come from Gilderoy's mouth roughly. "Good little slut."

Gilderoy smiled at the praise.

"That mouth of yours is exceptional. I think you need a reward."

Gilderoy's eyes danced. And when Severus got on his knees before Gilderoy, he whimpered.

Putting his hands behind Gilderoy's knees and pulling him forward as far as the restraints would allow him, Severus pulled Gilderoy's legs over his shoulders. His feet still strapped into the stilettos. Severus ran his fingers along Gilderoy's inner thighs before rubbing along the fabric of the knickers covering Gilderoy's scrotum. Gilderoy hissed through his teeth. Next Severus nuzzled his nose against the fabric, running along the base of Gilderoy's cock and into his balls, before rutting into the hole.

Gilderoy's hips began to rotate gently as he spread his legs wider around Severus' head. Inching his fingers under the elastic in between Gilderoy's legs, Severus reached to circle Gilderoy's hole.

"Lube?" Severus stopped to ask, kicking himself for having to stop the game and ask such an uncouth question.

Gilderoy was biting his lip and seemed unable to stop, his eyes motioned to his bedside table though and moments later Severus caught it in one hand, putting his wand back down with the other. 

He gathered the material of Gilderoy's knickers at the hips and pulled, releasing Gilderoy from the tight fabric slowly. Gilderoy's cock almost screamed to be touched, Severus reveled in the denial as he returned his attentions to the puckered hole. Swiping his tongue over it and then flicking his tongue repeatedly along the curve before plunging his tongue deep inside Gilderoy. The thighs around Severus’ ears muted Gilderoy’s whimpers. As Severus continued exploring Gilderoy with his tongue, he blindly lubed his fingers. Using his thumbs to spread Gilderoy wider, he stuck one, then two fingers inside him as he began sucking on his balls.

"Hmmmmrf," Gilderoy whined. "Touch me, please."

Severus looked at him wickedly and Gilderoy keened with need. He must have gathered from that look that the denial would continue.

Severus twisted his fingers deep inside Gilderoy, stroking his prostrate with long, deep swipes.

Gilderoy began crying and pleading some more, "Please...need to...need to...come...so bad..."

"Come?" Severus hissed. "What a good idea."

While he continued to tongue Gilderoy's balls and arse hole, he took his cock in his hand and began to stroke.

"Fuck! Need...to...COME!"

Severus smiled and stood up, still stroking himself. Gilderoy's lip between his teeth was bleeding with desire and need. Severus slowed his pace up and down the length of his own cock and began pumping his hips, rocking on the balls of his feet. Pulling in long, tight thrusts, feeling his orgasm build; Severus prolonged it, moving so that he towered over Gilderoy when he came. His ejaculation exploded onto Gilderoy's heaving chest, staining the skin of Gilderoy's shoulders and cleavage and the fabric of his corset.

Severus moaned loudly, relishing the look of Gilderoy shimmering with his come before turning and going to the bed.

"Please," Gilderoy whispered, as if no longer strong enough to voice his hunger.

Severus sat down crossed his legs, watching. He flicked his wand, releasing Gilderoy from the restraints and spell.

Looking at Severus expectantly, as if worried that he'd still be denied. Severus nodded his head, giving him permission.

Wasting no time, Gilderoy tugged on his cock so vigorously that Severus winced just watching.

"Slow down!" he ordered. 

Gilderoy let go of himself as if he'd been scalded.

Nodding with a blush, he began again, never taking his eyes off of Severus. Moments passed and it amazed Severus that Gilderoy hadn't come yet. The man had more restraint then even Severus would have believed. As he stroked himself long and slow with one hand, he reached behind his back with the other and pulled the ties of the corset, releasing himself. He tugged off the corset, letting it fall to the ground, and rubbed the come that Severus had shot onto his chest into his skin, circling his nipples in slow swirling circles.

Severus' erection ignited again and he ordered Gilderoy to join him on the bed. Releasing his cock, Gilderoy rushed to the bed. Severus handed him the lube and then flipped himself around, presenting his backside for Gilderoy. He looked over his shoulder at Gilderoy. He was smiling from ear to ear as he stroked lube along his cock. Severus groaned. That smile was going to be the death of him, he knew it.

Gilderoy circled Severus' hole with a lubed finger and Severus breathed sharply through his teeth. 

"So tight," Gilderoy hissed, working two fingers in to stretch Severus.

His breathing ragged, Severus leaned back into the fingers, driving them deeper. When Gilderoy spread his fingers wide inside, Severus gasped and clutched the bedding tightly in his hands. "Fuck me."

Not a single moment separated giving the order and Gilderoy fulfilling it. Severus cried out after that first thrust and cursed his loss of restraint. It always surprised him just how good this felt. As if his mind couldn't comprehend that his body could experience that much pleasure.

Again Gilderoy rushed his thrusts, this time though, Severus didn't order him to slow down. Instead, Severus moved in rhythm in his own frenzy to Gilderoy's hard and fast assault. Panting now, Gilderoy clutched Severus’ hips, pulled him as he thrust one last time, holding himself buried deep in Severus’ arse, and finally, finally came hot and hard. Wrapping his arms around Severus and leaning against him for support, he peppered his sweat soaked back with feather light kisses.

"Thank you for my Christmas present," Gilderoy breathed into Severus’ skin.

Severus slumped into the bed lying on his side, taking Gilderoy with him, spooned against his back.

"I haven't played like that in a long time. You were amazing," Gilderoy continued.

And just like that the spell was broken. Severus breathed deep with relief and a bit of sorrow. Relief because he was reminded that this was all a game and that it was totally without feeling or emotion other than pleasure. The sorrow was more difficult to comprehend. Severus only allowed himself to contemplate that it was because there was no guarantee that there would be another chance to play the game. He wouldn't deny that he quite enjoyed this recreation.

Severus shouldn't have worried. The game continued throughout the rest of the school year. Towards the end, it became something of an obsession for Severus. Seeing how long he could deny Gilderoy's release, how much he could make him beg for it. But, like most obsessions, he had to give a bit of himself to it too. By the end of the year and their live's diverging paths, Severus was rather relieved to see Gilderoy go, he didn't like the amount of time he spent thinking of the man, how little all Gilderoy's simpleton theories, stories and friends bothered him anymore. Perhaps Gilderoy felt the same; he after all, was destined for great things. According to Gilderoy, fame and fortunate was just around the corner. What could Severus offer that could compare?

So they parted, slightly relieved to be through with each other.

***

Fourteen years later and Severus was a different person. Beat down by life and dealing with dunderheads, and even worse, their parents. He no longer knew what it was to smile, to seek release from anyone but his own hand and nameless, faceless prostitutes and rent boys. They asked for nothing more from him than his coin, but gave nothing more than a modicum of what he actually sought. He certainly never played anymore. Life was too menacing and the environment of school too structured for frivolity.

Then Gilderoy arrived.  

He had changed a lot as well. He had done all those things he said he would; he was full of his own fame, his own sense of himself and adventure. If it were possible, the complete opposites of Severus and Gilderoy were only heightened by their time apart. And yet, for some reason unfathomable to Severus, Gilderoy once again tried to work his way into Severus’ life, or at least into his bed.

First, he tried repeatedly to engage Severus in conversation. When that didn't work he tried publically antagonizing him with ridiculous attempts at dueling and giving him advice on ways to prepare potions in the midst of his classes. As if he could anger Severus enough to wish to "punish" him. However, Severus just bit his lip and tried his best to ignore this new development.

Severus would never admit what it was that finally broke his resolve. It was such a base and senseless thing, but he couldn't deny it to himself. The more Gilderoy touted his Witch Weekly's Best Smile award the more Severus imagined those prize-winning lips wrapped around his cock, the smile working him deeper and deeper.

Against everything he thought he was, had become, he found himself knocking on Gilderoy's door that Christmas Eve. When Gilderoy opened it, Severus groaned, the man even swung a door open with a flourish. This was a bad idea.

"Severus, so nice to see you, please won't you come in," Gilderoy said, rather loudly, as if speaking to an audience.

A really bad idea.

When Gilderoy closed the door, however, his exuberance was stilled. He leaned against the door and watched Severus.

"I just think it's best if we keep this between us two, don't you?" he said.

Severus turned to him and nodded, Merlin knows he didn't want it getting around school. 

Gilderoy wasted no time, he took Severus’ wrist and pulled him to him, crushing their lips together, wrapping his arms around him. Severus pushed him against the door and drove his tongue deep into Gilderoy's mouth. Remembering hungrily what that mouth could do, his cock grew hard instantly and he flushed his middle to Gilderoy's, clutching the fabric frantically at Gilderoy's hips, pulling him.

"Wait," Gilderoy panted, pushing Severus away. "Where's my present?"

"Your...your present?"

"Yes. It's Christmas; surely you didn't come to play without a present?"

Severus blushed and reached into the inner pocket of his robe. "Happy Christmas."

Gilderoy pointed his wand to the nightstand beside his bed and muttered, "Accio." When the package, wrapped in black satin ribbon landed in his hand, he presented it to Severus. "Happy Christmas to you too."

This time neither of them wasted time opening the gifts. This time also, the gifts weren't quite so sentimental, rather more practical and to the point.

"A ball-gag?" Gilderoy asked, pulling out the gadget by its leather strap. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"You talk too much."

Gilderoy didn't argue the point. "But, wouldn't a Silencio work just as well. How am I going to suck down that beautiful cock of yours if I'm gagged?"

"Silencio is adequate, but I want to watch your jaw struggle against the rubber, your neck against the leather straps. We'll have plenty of time to fulfill your most depraved of desires later."

Gilderoy swallowed and for a moment lost that new arrogant, self-satisfied look he had adopted to accompany his fame. "Speaking of depraved desires. Open your gift."

Severus had removed the wrapping and now he removed the lid. The first thing he saw caused his eyes to light up: a red and black striped paddle. The second thing, though, caused him to look up questioningly. "Knickers?"

"Please," Gilderoy whispered. "These match perfectly a pair I purchased once when the missing of you had grown too strong. They are the knickers that I wear when I pleasure myself with thoughts of you."

Now it was Severus’ turn to swallow and lose his self-imposed steely demeanor. He bowed his head in acquiescence and to hide his flushed cheeks.

Severus excused himself to Gilderoy's bathroom to change. He thought he would feel ridiculous in the red, frilly silk and lace knickers, but as he removed his heavy, dark robes and under clothes and shimmied himself into the tight fitting knickers he was amazed at the sensation they created. It was like wearing a second layer of skin; warm and seductive while holding his bits. As if the knickers were tailor-made just for him. 

The feeling of idiocy only came when he went to the door. But the sight of a lamplit Gilderoy standing beside the bedpost completely naked, the ball gag in one hand and the paddle in the other quickly dispelled any thoughts about his own appearance. 

"Just as I'd imagined," Gilderoy said as Severus approached him. Gilderoy walked around him as if to see the full effect. He ran a hand down the curve of Severus' back to his arse, which he cupped and squeezed. "Perfect fit." He wrapped one hand around Severus' waist and slipped his finger deftly under the tight elastic of the band, grasping Severus' cock that grew hard under his hand. "Yes, perfect fit."

Severus moaned and leaned his head onto Gilderoy's shoulder. "Fuck, I forgot how good this feels."

Gilderoy breathed into Severus' ear. "Before you gag me, let me taste that filthy mouth of yours." 

Severus turned his head and found Gilderoy's lips. He didn't want to turn for then Gilderoy would remove his hand from where it rested nicely inside Severus' knickers. The kiss, though, was becoming too involved for the awkward positioning. His tongue tried to curve around to explore Gilderoy's mouth, but it wasn't working and with a moan, he turned. After Gilderoy removed his hand, Severus trapped Gilderoy between the bed and himself and began rocking into Gilderoy, sliding their cocks along each other, with only the slick silk knickers separating them.

"Slow down," Gilderoy ordered.

Pulling away, Severus breathed deep. "There's that mouth I was talking about."

Gilderoy opened his mouth obligingly. With a smile playing in the corner of Severus’ lips, he crawled across the bed, kneeling at the head of the bed and motioning Gilderoy to sit before him facing the other way. He reached around Gilderoy and placed the ball in his mouth, tightening one leather strap around the top of his head, another along his jawline and around the back of his neck.

"Is this tight enough?" Severus whispered into Gilderoy's ear, running his tongue along the helix before nipping at the lobe, taking it between his teeth and sucking.  

"Mmmmr hmm," Gilderoy's muffled moan started deep in his throat and Severus worked his tongue into Gilderoy's ear, breathing hot.

"Tighter you say?" 

He adjusted the straps, making them flush against the skin of his face, but not digging. Severus checked the tension by splaying his fingers along his mouth, chin, jaw and temple, finally running his fingers through his hair, releasing the tufts from under the straps. Gilderoy leaned back, resting his head on Severus' shoulder. Running his hands in smooth circles along Gilderoy's shoulder, bicep, elbows and then forearms, Severus took one wrist and held it out, wrapping the satin ribbon around it and tying it in a tight knot around the bedpost before doing the same with the other arm.

After he was done, he worked his way in front of Gilderoy, summoning pillows behind Gilderoy to lean against, as the ribbons were too tight to allow him to lay flat. With a knee on each side of Gilderoy's hips, Severus leaned over, close to Gilderoy.

"You remember these ribbons?" he asked, running his fingers lightly and tantalizingly slow along one of Gilderoy's arms. "Your first gift to me, all those years ago. You remember how much use we got from them?"

Gilderoy nodded and Severus could see the memory of those times in the sparkle of Gilderoy's eyes.

"You want to know what I've done with these ribbons since the last time we were together?"

Gilderoy shook his head, but Severus just licked his lips and smiled. "When I really needed to come I would wrap the ribbon around my hand and run it up and down, up...and...down..." Severus sat back up on his knees and illustrated holding his cock through the knickers. "It felt a lot like this actually."

Gilderoy watched and Severus felt Gilderoy's cock stiffen under him. Gilderoy pulled against his restraints.

"Right, my apologies. Let me take care of you."

Gilderoy's eyes danced as Severus studied him. 

"So pretty," Severus whispered, leaning over and kissing along his jawline, right where the strap met the skin. He followed that by moving along his neck, sucking at his Adam's Apple as he maneuvered so that he was on the side of Gilderoy. Severus felt the hum of Gilderoy's pleasure in his throat as continued to work his way down Gilderoy's chest, flicking his nipples, one then the other with his tongue. The skin hardened with the attentions and Severus took it in his mouth and bit, causing Gilderoy to squirm with a muffled gasp.

"So very pretty," Severus repeated as he lightly ran his fingers down Gilderoy's stomach to his hipbone, watching the skin shiver under the touch. Sliding his hand under Gilderoy where his arse and legs meet, Severus lifted his legs up so that Gilderoy was in a V, his arse inches off the slick silk of his bed's coverings. 

Severus whistled through his teeth. "Glorious," he said as he massaged Gilderoy's cheeks, preparing them for the paddle. 

The first slap was gentle, just testing his wrists power and the paddle's flexibility. Gilderoy's skin didn't even pink. The second smack remedied that. The pink rose up on his backside almost instantly, as did the pink on Gilderoy's face. Severus' cock twitched as he watched Gilderoy's neck rotate, trying to work out the gag.

"That's what Sliencio won't do," Severus said, watching the struggle as he continued the spanking, one cheek then the next, back and forth. Only when the pink had a tinge of red to it did Severus put the paddle down. Maneuvering again, Gilderoy's legs now draped over Severus’ shoulders. Severus began wetting the warmed skin of Gilderoy's arse, soothing it with his tongue. Gilderoy moaned, and then gasped as Severus scrapped his teeth along the delicate skin. 

Severus placed his hands between Gilderoy's thighs and pushed, spreading him apart. He tongued his way from the thigh, to the scrotum, nibbling and sucking hard against the skin before taking Gilderoy's balls in his mouth, wetting them before sucking on one then the other. The muffled moans of Gilderoy were becoming sobs. After he released Gilderoy's balls with a slurp, he took the base of Gilderoy's cock in his hand and flattened his tongue along the shaft of Gilderoy's cock, he slid it up slowly before taking the tip in his mouth, twirling it wetly. He looked up at Gilderoy, who still struggled to release his mouth and smiled wickedly before taking Gilderoy's cock deep into his mouth. Hollowing out his cheeks, he sucked in and out, up and down as his other hand massaged Gilderoy's swollen testicles. When Gilderoy came, Severus swallowed it down before standing up again on his knees.
 
"Accio lube," Severus muttered, knowing that Gilderoy would have some hidden somewhere. Seconds later, the bottle landed in Severus' waiting palm. He licked his lips as he pulled the cork. "Do you want this rough?" he asked, pumping his hips to mimic his intentions. "Or, do you want it smooth?" he held up his fingers, slicked with lube.

"Urrrph," Gilderoy said around the gag.

"Rough?"

Gilderoy nodded enthusiastically.

"Dirty, dirty boy," Severus hissed, running the slicked fingers up and down his shaft until it glistened.

Still standing on his knees, he pushed the back of Gilderoy's knees into his belly, curving the back, exposing his hole for Severus' cock. Sliding himself slowly inside Gilderoy, Severus stopped and reached again for the paddle.

"May I?" Severus asked, rotating his hips, working himself deeper in.

Again, Gilderoy nodded wildly.

"Filthy, filthy boy," Severus hissed, pulling back out and spanking Gilderoy's left cheek, this time on the side, by the hip.

Gilderoy whimpered. Severus thrust back in, slower still. Pulling out he smacked Gilderoy's other cheek.

In. Out. Spank. In. Out. Spank. Severus kept a steady pace, enjoying the rhythm.

Innnn. Out. Spank. In. Ouuuut. Spank. Severus mixed it up, holding himself deep inside, pulling out slowly, savoring.

InOutSpank. Severus lost the pace and was driven to madness with the sensations assaulting him from his cock's thrusts, to the feel of the paddle vibrating along his hand to his arm, the sweat that trickled down his temples and his knees slide on the coverings of the bed. Gilderoy's muffled curses and panting spurred him on further.

Finally, he stilled himself buried ball's deep inside of Gilderoy and came in waves. His hand, limp and powerless, lost the paddle. He pulled out and looked at Gilderoy's beautiful arse, all of it red and pulsatingly swollen. 

"Poor thing," Severus sighed, bending down and lying kisses on the hot skin, then he licked, soothing, working his way to Gilderoy's leaking hole. With a thumb on both sides of the hole, he spread him, licking and sucking down, his own wet, salty, come. He grasped Gilderoy's cock and began stroking him as he dug his tongue deep inside Gilderoy's hole. Gilderoy's panting, Severus' slurping and the thwap, thwap, thwap of Severus' hand working Gilderoy's cock were deafening. Just as Severus had sucked and licked Gilderoy clean, Gilderoy came, spurting all along his belly and chest.

"Such a dirty, dirty thing," Severus said through his smile, as he smeared the come into Gilderoy's skin before he worked his tongue along the same trail.

"Mmmm," Severus moaned. "A tasty, dirty thing."

Undoing Gilderoy's restraints and removing the gag finally, Severus kissed him softly before curling up into Gilderoy's side, his arm stretched over him lazily. He was weak and tired and knowing that this was one of the only times he fully remembered in the last decade that he had let his guard down, and it felt just as good this time as it had the times before.

"I hope we both have learned a great deal about keeping secrets," Severus said.

Gilderoy didn't say anything, just ran his hand up and down Severus’ back, as if working out the use of it again. Finally, he said, "You have no idea the secrets I've kept."

"Oh?" Severus asked. He yawned.

Just before he slipped into a much-deserved rest, he heard Gilderoy whisper, "I love how you think this is the first time we've played since my arrival."

Severus laughed as he lifted his head to look at the shocked expression on Gilderoy's face; obviously this wasn't the reaction Gilderoy was expecting. Severus kissed Gilderoy again before saying, "I love how you think those pathetic Oblivate spells actually worked on me."

Gilderoy looked truly panicked for a moment. Then he cuddled into Severus. "As long as we both know how to keep a secret."

***

Severus sat on the uncomfortable hospital chair and watched Gilderoy sleep. He didn't know why this vigil continued. What he could possibly expect to happen, he didn't even know. Would Gilderoy wake up and jump into his lap? Or, would he, like he had the only time Severus had seen Gilderoy awake, offer him a signed photo and babble about beauty regiments Severus might want to consider? He just didn't know. All he knew was that coming here and reliving the memory of some of his best times were worth it. He also knew there was something bittersweet about a secret no longer shared. Almost as if it didn't happen at all.

Yes, it was true. There was more than one way to keep a secret.