Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
Kinky Kristmas Fic: In the Eye of the Beholder (Gilderoy Lockhart/Albus Dumbledore) 
2nd December 2009 12:00
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]ceria
From: [info]lee_west

Title: In the Eye of the Beholder
Characters/Pairings: Gilderoy Lockhart/Albus Dumbledore, implied Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Oral Sex/Oral Fetish; Role Playing
Other Warnings: Erm...not sure if the ending qualifies as dubious con.
Word Count: 1,224
Summary/Description: It's all in the eye of the beholder. Beauty and gold locks alike.
Author's Notes: A zillion thanks to my amazing beta, S.

Albus sighed. He hated this time of the year. Every year he hoped against hope that the curse would be lifted and he wouldn't have to look for yet another Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Every year, his hopes were dashed. Damn that Riddle.

The roster of proficient and available professors had dwindled considerably since Tom Riddle had chosen to curse the position. Of course, a lot of the proficient and available professors had put two and two together and realized that it was perhaps not such a good idea to quit their current jobs for a position that seemed to have its days counted. Literally.

He looked at the application on his desk. It was the only one he'd received from the ad he'd placed in the Daily Prophet. The name on the parchment was Gilderoy Lockhart, and Albus shook his head. He remembered the young Lockhart, who, during his time at Hogwarts, had been much more worried about his robes and his nails than Defense Against the Dark Arts. Gilderoy had left Hogwarts without a definite career in mind and had simply disappeared from Britain. And then, suddenly, his books started appearing at Flourish and Blotts, becoming instant bestsellers. Especially among the female contingent - although Albus, who knew a little about such things, suspected that Lockhart's predilection was for the adoration of wizards.

Gilderoy had sent a full collection of his books together with the application, all dedicated to "Headmaster Dumbledore, who was such a positive influence on me." Albus snorted. Gilderoy had never shown a bit of admiration at all while he was a student.

He opened the first book, Break With A Banshee, and tried to read a few lines. It was horrible. The writing was simple, as if written by a child. Albus leafed through the book a little more, and, completely appalled by the content, closed it.

On the back cover, Gilderoy winked and flashed gleaming, perfectly white teeth at Albus.

Albus rolled his eyes and was about to turn the book over when he noticed something familiar about Lockhart. Of course the man reminded him of the boy he'd been, but the sense of familiarity was not quite that. He studied the grinning face a little more carefully and, slowly, things fell in place, just like the two last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

The blond locks and the bright blue eyes. Take away the inane face, replace it with intelligent looks and a mischievous, playful smile – and you had Gellert. As a teen, gorgeous and sexy, winking those blue eyes at Albus and making him turn into putty.

And then as Albus's most formidable adversary, still beautiful even as they engaged in duel. Still beautiful as he was defeated, bound in magical chains and taken to Nurmengard.

And now, as an old man, with a face that Albus could only imagine, weathered by time, yet still, in Albus's mind, incomparable in beauty. The blue eyes now probably had lost a lot of their spark, but Albus was sure they would still have the same effect on him.

The mouth now might have those little puckered lines brought on by old age but, Albus was sure, still very capable of bringing him to ecstasy when those lips closed around his cock.

Just like the old times.

Albus sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was no good reminiscing about Gellert and the old times. Things could – and should – have been different, if not for that fateful day, so long ago. He and Gellert could have grown old together; with time, Gellert's youthful zeal "for the greater good" would mellow. With Albus by his side, things would have been different.

The picture on the book winked at him, then raised his eyebrows, as if asking Albus if he was hired. Shaking his head, Albus picked up a piece of parchment to re-submit the ad to the Daily Prophet. In his right mind, he knew he wouldn't be able to impose the buffoon onto the students.

But the picture dissolved again, and, once more, created that beloved face.

Cursing his inability to be of a right mind, Albus dipped the quill in the inkpot and wrote on the parchment:

Dear Mr. Lockhart,

I am pleased to offer you the position of Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Please submit to Flourish and Blotts the list of textbooks you will require for your classes.

We look forward to seeing you on September 1st.


Albus Dumbledore


The good thing about having Lockhart go down on him was that, besides the fact that he gave wonderful head, all you could see was the crown of golden locks, making it very easy for Albus to pretend it was Gellert who was giving him so much pleasure.

Gilderoy was a flirt who loved power, and it had taken Albus no time at all to bring him to his bed. And, after that first time, Lockhart had been extremely willing to dress up in robes like the ones Gellert used to wear – although, of course, he had no idea why the Headmaster had a predilection for those old-fashioned clothes, not nearly as fashionable as the ones Gilderoy usually wore. At Albus's request, Gilderoy had even mastered a perfect Germanic accent that made him sound so much like Gellert that Albus, more than once, had cried his old lover's name as he came.

Luckily, Gilderoy was so self-absorbed that he never noticed – or, at least, he was wise enough to pretend he didn't.

It had been a good hire, after all. Maybe Lockhart would survive the year unscathed, and they could go on with their extremely pleasurable role play.


Albus didn't even bother to place an ad this time. With Sirius Black on the loose, he remembered the one name he could bring in to teach the children – and hopefully foresee Black's next movement. There was the issue of the full moon, of course, but Albus could persuade Severus to brew the Wolfsbane potion. Severus always did what he wanted, anyway.

He picked up a piece of parchment and wrote,

Dear Remus,

I am delighted to offer you the position of Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Because of Sirius Black's recent escape from Azkaban, I would be doubly grateful if you, upon acceptance of my offer, make plans to accompany the students in the Hogwarts Express.

Please send a list of the required reading material for your classes to Flourish and Blotts.

I look forward to welcoming you into our faculty on September 1st.



He folded the parchment and Summoned a school owl to take the post to Remus. Then he smoothed his robes and picked up a parcel.

It was not long before he was in the Janus Thickey ward at St Mungo's. The Healer greeted him happily. "He's waiting for you, Sir," she said. "He's always so happy when you come to see him. It does him a lot of good, Headmaster."

Albus smiled benevolently, and walked into Gilderoy's room. Waving at the Healer, he locked the door and handed Lockhart the parcel. Chattering happily in heavily-accented English, Gilderoy took off his robes and put on the ones the Headmaster had offered. Then he knelt in front of Albus and opened his robes.

Looking down at the kneeling man, Albus combed the blond locks with his hands and moaned out loud.

He, too, was very happy when he visited Lockhart.
2nd December 2009 17:17
Oh man, so wrong wrong awesomely wrong! I can just imagine Dumbledore being not "in his right mind" when it comes to something like this. Love his weakness here, and LOVE him thinking that things could/should have been different with Gellert. He might be deluding himself there a little bit, I think. ;)

...although Albus, who knew a little about such things... -- This cracked me up!
11th January 2010 03:37
Gellert was the true love of Albus's life, so, yes, it was just wishful thinking.

Thanks! ♥
2nd December 2009 18:11
OMG! This fic just explained EVERYTHING! Most importantly, how they wound up with a nut like Lockhart!

Greater Good my ass!


Loved the purely CREEPY ending!
11th January 2010 03:38
There had to be a reason!

Thanks for reading.
2nd December 2009 19:16
OMG Yes! This pairing makes perfect sense--in a very mental sort of way. *giggles* That Dumbledore would sort of craft Lockhart into Grindelwald, and then continue after he went to St. Mungo's is just SOOOO wrong! I love it. :D Great job.
11th January 2010 03:39

Glad you liked it - I had to find an explanation for Gilderoy being hired.
2nd December 2009 19:23
Oh, man, this is so wrong on so many levels. Which, of course, means that I gleefully lapped up every word of it. Awesome, awesome, awesome.
11th January 2010 03:39

3rd December 2009 00:15
This was wonderfully funny at first, then really rather hot, than shiveringly creepy. Quite a range, for a short fic - brava!

PurpleFluffyCat x
11th January 2010 03:40
Thanks for this great comment. Glad you liked it.
3rd December 2009 00:30
Eeek, manipulative Dumbledore! Great explanation for Lockhart's hire, seriously. And that Lockhart would apparently somehow remember his role-playing with Albus and nothing else, my goodness.
11th January 2010 03:40
Well, there are things you never forget!

Thanks for reading.
3rd December 2009 00:45
Ooh, creepy Dumbledore! (Which he totally is.) Loved the wrongness. How you started off in a light way and then went into creepy territory. It gave the ending a delightful chilling feel. Loved how you combined the two pairings and Lockhart reminding Albus of Gellert really worked for me and made the Dumbledore/Lockhart very believable. It all fit so well with canon.

And I loved this line about Lockhart: Luckily, Gilderoy was so self-absorbed that he never noticed – or, at least, he was wise enough to pretend he didn't.
11th January 2010 03:42
Dumbledore would easily use Lockhart for his own benefit.

Thank you very much - I love that you loved the wrongness of it.
3rd December 2009 01:18
Finally!! A plausible and understandable explanation for why supposedly-wise Albus Dumbledore would hire such an idiot as DADA professor!! WEll done!!
11th January 2010 03:43
Thank you! Glad you liked the fic.
3rd December 2009 01:39
The good thing about having Lockhart go down on him was that, besides the fact that he gave wonderful head, all you could see was the crown of golden locks...

I died laughing there.

Albus/Gilderoy - really? It's creepy and screwed up and I adore it. Thank you. I never thought about just how much Gilderoy might look like Gellert, what a great idea.

11th January 2010 03:44
I'd thought about this story for a while, so thanks for providing the prompt and the nudge I needed. Glad you liked it.
3rd December 2009 04:32
What an awesome fic. I can so see AD being this much of a dick XD
I kinda even feel sorry for Lockhart.
Great job mystery author!
11th January 2010 03:44
Well, Lockhart enjoyed it, too :)

Thanks a lot!
3rd December 2009 05:59
Wow... that was... just...

*points to icon*


Yeah, that about sums it up. Excellent fic.

11th January 2010 03:45
Love your icon!

And thanks.
3rd December 2009 18:03
Oh, this could be canon. Very much could be canon - especially given the DH version of Dumbledore. It might well be something that JKR chose not to write but which was there in the background.

I love it all, from the 'acting against what he knows he ought to do' Albus at the beginning, to the 'quite happy to do whatever Albus wanted in order to keep his job' Gilderoy, to the 'both quite happy in an entirely inappropriate way' pairing at the end :)
11th January 2010 03:46
Isn't it awfully inappropriate? But dear Headmaster Dumbledore is doing poor patient Lockhart so much good...

Glad you enjoyed it!
4th December 2009 04:08
Oh, wicked, wicked Albus! Very cleverly done!
11th January 2010 03:46
Thank you!
4th December 2009 14:59
This is amazing! And I can totally see Dumbledore doing this, which gives me the shivers. WOW.
11th January 2010 03:46
Thank you very much - glad you liked it!
5th December 2009 18:20
This is so wrong that it makes me squee with delight! I can't wait to discover who you are Mystery Author. The beginning of this completely hooked me. I can completely see Dumbledore being disgusted at having to refill that position every year and cursing Tom Riddle in the process.
11th January 2010 03:47
And here I am, darling! Glad you liked it.

5th December 2009 21:20
So, so wrong.
And I laughed all the way through. *g*
Scarily enough, I can see this pairing working. :)
11th January 2010 03:48
I'd like to read more about this pairing - because it is really so wrong!

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