| luvscharlie ( @ 2009-02-08 03:38:00 |
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| Entry tags: | *fic, 2009-02, author: luvscharlie, character: lavender, character: ron, theme: birth control |
Fic: Preparation for the Room of Procreation (Ron/Lavender, NC-17)
Title: Preparation for the Room of Procreation
Author:
luvscharlie
Characters: Ron Weasley/Lavender Brown
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Smex, and one very inappropriate mother figure
Themes/kinks chosen: Birth control
Word Count: 2,060
Summary: Lavender Brown's mother wants to make certain she does not become a grandmother anytime soon. The Room of Procreation Requirement, however, is a temptation few young lovers resist.
Author's notes: My first entry. Thank you for inviting me to write here! Thanks to my betas,
shygryf and
abigail89!
"I can't hear you! La-la-la-la-la." Lavender plugged her ears and continued to babble one long stream of "la's" as she made laps around her bedroom, then up and down the hallway in an attempt to shake her persistent mother. If she had known this would be waiting for her when she came home for Christmas holidays, she would have elected to stay at Hogwarts.
"Lavender Brown, you stop that this instant!" Her mother stamped her foot to punctuate her statement.
Lavender unplugged her ears for a moment. "I'll stop this, when you stop talking nonsense."
"A discussion about birth control with my daughter is not nonsense. I asked you a question. Are you having sex, young lady?"
"No!" Of course not… much… this week. With ears firmly re-plugged, Lavender recommenced her pacing. "La-la-la-la-la. I can't hear you. I can't hear you. La-la-la-la-la." When I get hold of Parvati, I'm going to break her neck. It was all done in a sing-song lilt, but she was quite serious about killing her best friend. It would be a shame, too, as she was going to miss cheating off Parvati's Charms homework. Still, there were some things best friends did not do, and telling her mother that she was dating Ron Weasley was one of those things.
It had only been the two of them, she and her mother, since her father left them when she was four. They certainly had a close relationship, all things considered. However, there were lines which can be crossed and lines which should never be crossed. This conversation was treading upon dangerous territory.
Her mother droned on. "I went to school with Molly Prewett. And if this one's anywhere near as charming as his father was, Merlin—I don't even like to think about what will—"
"Mother! That is enough!"
It seemed not to matter that she was still in the room. Her mother appeared to be talking more to herself than to Lavender at this point. "Oh, it was all the scandal. A fertile bunch, those Weasley brothers. I admit I had a bit of a crush on Arthur Weasley, myself. How many children do he and Molly have these days? Have they made it an even dozen yet? You know why they had to get married, don't you?"
Though she asked the questions in rapid fire, in Lavender's general direction, she had no chance to reply.
"Oh, yes. It was no secret why they eloped. Madam Malkin's no miracle worker, you know? Not even she could hide a bump that big behind dress robes."
"Mother, I—"
"And Molly's mother trying to tell us all that the baby was just a wee bit early. A wee bit, my wand! That baby was two months old if he was a day, and them trying to pass him off as newborn."
Her mother had hit her stride and showed no signs of slowing down.
"Now make no mistake, hers was a pretty baby. But pretty baby or no, none of them are overly attractive when you've had two hours sleep and the little fiend is screaming its head off again in the middle of the night. You hear, young lady?"
Her mother insisted upon toeing that invisible line, and Lavender had given up fighting it. "No pretty babies. Got it."
"So, tell me about your young man."
Parvati's death will be slow. "I will not."
Undeterred, her mother pressed onward. "Is he handsome? When he kisses you, do you just want to melt into a puddle?"
Not only slow, but dreadfully painful. She went back to the only defence that seemed to have any effect. She went for the mature approach… again… and shoved her fingers in her ears. "La-la-la-la."