: Do You Remember?Author
: Remus Lupin, Severus SnapeRating
: talk of oral, rimming, and bitingThemes/kinks chosen
: RelicsWord Count
: When Severus discovers something Remus has been holding onto for twelve years, Remus wants to know if Severus has the same memories.Author's notes
: I forgot I was coming back in July. But, I have a better reminder system now. :-D While this could technically follow, To Hold and to Have
, this fic does stand alone and you don't need to have read the other in order to understand what's going on in this one.What is it that frightens you the most?
P...Pr...Professor Snape, sir.
A simple question, Remus Lupin had thought before hearing the stuttering answer. Poor Neville Longbottom was nervous enough without Severus constantly tormenting him. It couldn't have been easy for him to grow up in Frank and Alice's shadow the way he had. Still, Remus had not been expecting the Potions Master's name to be Neville's biggest fear when he determined to have the boy's assistance in his boggart lesson that morning.
Nor was he sure what mischief in himself had caused him to do what he'd done next, encouraging Neville to picture Severus in his grandmother's clothing. Perhaps he was simply tired of the torment to himself working at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had become. His friends had always said the best way to get Remus' 'Marauder' up was to get him exasperated. And Remus was certainly exasperated with the way things were going.
He'd known, when he first arrived, that gaining Severus' forgiveness would be difficult. But, somewhere in his traitorously optimistic heart, he'd never expected it to be impossible.
A sharp rap on his office door interrupted Remus' thoughts and he laid the book he'd only been pretending to read on his desk as he stood to answer the summons.
Opening the door to admit Severus Snape into his office was essentially opening the door to an icy wind and freezing snow. Though there was only a slight difference of inches in their height, in that moment there was little doubt the dark man was towering over him, a glare sharp enough to slice a roast with directed at Remus with all the force those familiar dark eyes could muster. Shivers ran down Remus' spine that had nothing to do with the chill greeting and everything to do with the intensity of that gaze.
"Severus. This is a pleasant surprise. Won't you come in?"
"There is nothing pleasant about this visit, Lupin."
As he swept past Remus the severe dark robes that seemed to have become the man's habitual attire since Remus had last known him swirled in as though the wind Remus had compared the man's presence to in his mind were an actuality. He could remember clearly what it had felt like to rip open those robes to get to the man beneath on the occasion of his first arrival at Hogwarts when he had tried a more direct approach in reminding Severus of what had once been between them. It had been worth the summary banishment from the other man's office to feel and taste Severus' momentary capitulation to the passion still burning between them.
"I see." Closing the door, Remus leaned casually against it and contemplated the man before him. As long as Severus was voluntarily entering into his company, no matter the reason, Remus was not above taking advantage of the view. "Should I bother to offer you some tea? Or did you wish to jump straight to the point?"
"Ha, bloody, ha. Your poor sense of humor hasn't changed in twelve years, I see. But then, that was evident in your actions this morning, wasn't it?"
"Ah, so that's what this is about."
"What this is about
--" Severus' eyes narrowed at the same time whatever he had been about to say was cutoff with his surprise. Following the other man's gaze to an object on the shelves to his right, Remus smiled. "Why do you have that
?" Severus continued dangerously.That
was a photograph of a much younger Remus and Severus, both dressed in ceremonial robes, Remus leaning his head back against Severus' shoulder, Severus' arms around his waist. It had taken some convincing to get the other man to consent to having even that one photo taken. But, back then, he'd loved Remus enough to allow it for that day only, the day they were handfasted.
"Why?" Remus asked mildly. He pushed off the door with his shoulder, moving into the room with a predator's caution, having sensed an opening in his prey's defenses. "For the same reason I never ceased to wear this."
Remus held up his left hand to display the platinum band that resided on the ring finger. Letting that sink in for a moment, he reached over to take the photo from it's place on the shelf and ran his fingers lingeringly over the two faces smiling at him from the past.
"Do you remember having this taken? You were so reticent about it at first, although you eventually relented."
"Do you regret what came after? Do you remember
what came after? I do. I remember." As he spoke, Remus continued to prowl slowly towards Severus until only the photo held in his hands and twelve years of separation stood between them. "I have a second copy of this. It sits on the bedside table in my quarters so you are the last thing I see each, memories of that night the last I remember before sleep."
Remus let his voice drop lower into the husky almost growl that had once driven Severus mad with need. From the silent hitch in the man's breathing as he stepped back, away from Remus, perhaps it still did.
"I remember how nervous we both were, how excited, how terrified of doing something wrong. But mostly, I remember the scent of your arousal as it filled the room with your longing. You'd never thought much of your looks, but I had never and have never still seen anything as beautiful as the sight of your flushed skin revealed slowly, inch by nervous inch. My hands trembled so much you murmured that it was okay, not to worry. What I never told you was that my hands trembled not because I was nervous, but because I was overwhelmed to finally be with you like that.
"I've lain awake at nights remembering, watching this picture of us and fighting the urge to touch myself with the remembering. When I finally succumb, I pretend it your hand upon me, remember how hesitantly you began. You needn't have worried. There was nothing you could have done wrong then. Simply the feel of your hand stroking me so tenderly left me aching for you."
Severus continued to back away as Remus spoke, but he had been out-maneuvered the moment his attention had wandered to the photograph still clutched in Remus' hands and soon the backs of his thighs were pressed against the edge of desk. Taking advantage of the other man's predicament, Remus moved forward just a little more and reached around the thin, black-clad form to place the photograph on the desk, careful not to touch Severus just yet, content to watch him bent over a little more than Remus imagined to be comfortable. The evidence of the effect of his words, the memory was clearly outlined in the way the front of Severus' trousers pulled tightly across his length.
Remus moaned softly at the sight.
"Do you remember how I begged to be allowed to taste you? Your eyes widened in surprise, as though still disbelieving how much I wanted you, though you nodded assent anyway. I can still see you like that, laying on the bed, pale and gorgeous, your hands gripping the bedding as you writhed in pleasure. I remember the weight of you on my tongue, the way I could feel you throbbing in my mouth, growing harder the farther I sucked you in.
"Release found you quickly, surprising us both. In my memory, I can feel still how you shuddered in my hands while I swallowed you down more eagerly than I could have imagined when I'd thought of that act before.
"I was so close, I almost followed you over that edge then and there. You looked so perfect, sated and limp from what I had done to you. But I didn't, did I?
"Instead, I urged you to turn over. I wanted you so badly, wanted so badly hear you crying out my name as I brought you orgasm after orgasm. And I wanted to taste you more. You were like a drug I couldn't seem to get enough of."
Leaning further forward, Remus placed his hands on the desk, one to either side of Severus, effectively trapping the other man in reminiscences. Inhaling deeply, he captured dark eyes gone soft and clouded with his own.
"I have always loved the taste of you, Severus. Your skin, your kisses. That night, when I slipped my tongue inside you and tasted you for a second time, I knew I would never tire of hearing the whimpers it produced. Every little sound you made as I licked and nibbled, preparing you for what was to come in the most intimate way I knew how, drove me wild with anticipation."
A small, choked sound escaped the potions master's throat, purely involuntarily, Remus was sure.
"Just like that. It was all I could do to take my time, to stretch you with my fingers for several minutes as you began to squirm, pushing back upon my fingers and pleading for me to take you. When I finally did, I'm sure I stopped breathing."
With all the suddenness of that first joining, Remus pushed forward once more, this time aligning straining hardness along straining hardness. Just as in the memories he recalled, his own breathing nearly stopped at the sensation of being pressed against Severus, hearing the groan of longing the other man could not repress, immersing himself in the scent of arousal he could still recall so clearly, yet paled in memory compared to reality.
"You felt so good," he whispered hoarsely, shaking with the effort it took not to thrust against Severus now. "So hot and tight around me. That first time, your body took me in so deeply I was afraid I'd hurt you. But you only moaned and pushed back again, urging me to fill you, claim you. There were bruises on your hips after, do you remember? I lost control so quickly, lost in you, thrusting in and out so fast and hard. And you, perverse creature that you were, kept egging me on, asking for more, deeper, harder.
"Then you told me to stop playing around and fuck you."
The slim hips trapped beneath Remus' bucked and Remus chuckled softly.
"I never even touched you." His lips were barely brushing the shell of Severus' ear now as neared the end of his story. "Do you remember? I pushed into you, thrust harder, sank deeply into you three times and lost all control, pouring my release into you as I claimed your body fully, biting down so hard on the soft flesh you offered up to me.
He nipped lightly at the spot just below Severus' ear and thrust his hips, sliding his aching length along Severus'.
Another nip along the jaw and another slow thrust of hips.
Thrusting once more, he bit down on the soft flesh where shoulder and throat met, shuddering his own climax as he reveled in the sound of Severus' sudden sobbing cry and answering shudders. Thin, strong fingers grasped tightly around Remus' arms, steadying them both in the tide of pleasure that threatened to drown them in ecstasy.
"Get off me, Lupin." His mind was still fuzzy with the breathless aftermath of desire when Severus' harsh, clipped words roused him from post-coital stupor. Swallowing his disappointment, he pushed up from where they had fallen across the desk and backed away, a cleansing spell removing the evidence of their stroll down memory lane.
Severus swept out of the room without another word, barely taking the time to close the door behind him in his hurry. It appeared to Remus that no amount of rekindled physical passion was going to be enough to break that icy veneer Severus had adopted over the years. If he couldn't prove how much he still wanted Severus, how would the other man ever accept his apologies for leaving him twelve years ago?
With a defeated sigh, Remus sank into the chair behind his desk and reached for the photograph once more.
But, the photograph was not there. After a quick search revealed it had not fallen on the floor during other
activities and appeared to no longer be in his office, Remus could only assume it had disappeared in a swirl of black cloth.