my_sam_dean (my_sam_dean) wrote in cw_rps, @ 2008-05-15 03:02:00 |
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The stunt went wrong--way wrong. The explosion went off too soon and Jared had not cleared the area. The flames shot directly into him.
The cast and crew reacted at the same moment. Someone called 911. Someone tackled Jared to the ground and put the flames out. Someone called his family. Someone held him and told him that help was on the way. That person was Jensen.
He didn't leave his side in the ambulance or the emergency room. He insisted on being in the room when they were trying to do the debridment. Jensen was in sterile clothing and just spoke to Jared since he couldn't get close enough to touch him. He rambled on and on about life, the show and how things were back in Texas. He kept up a litany of whatever tidbits of life that he could remember so that Jared could concentrate on something else besides the pain in his body.
When Jared was done with the first debridment, the doctors and nurses left. They gave him some time to recover before getting more of the burned areas removed. Jared had one eye that wasn't covered. Jensen looked directly into that eye when he spoke to Jared. He asked Jared if he wanted him to call his folks. Jared's eye welled up with tears.
"They need to know you're stable, Jare. You mom needs to know that you're going to be okay."
Jared groaned.
"There are advancements in the treatment of burns. Don't worry about that. All your family and friends care about is that you're alive. The rest can be dealt with."
Jared pled with Jensen to make the call by just looking at him.
"Don't worry. I'm going to take care of everything. I'll make all the phone calls and you just rest. I'm not going anywhere."
Jared closed his eye and fell into the drug induced haze that the pain killers provided.
Like he promised, Jensen called Jared's family. He relayed Jared's condition honestly and told them that his hair, face, neck, chest, shoulder and back were all burned. He told them that Jared was still in there. He could hear them but was limited in how he could respond. Jensen held Jared's one good hand.
"Your mom said to give you a kiss from her," Jensen said before he kissed Jared's hand. "That's from her. Your dad is trying to get the next flight up here for the two of them. I'm staying here no matter what. They can stay at our place. I know they were a little freaked when we told them we were a couple, but they seem cool about it now. They're glad I'm here with you because they know how much I love you."
Jared squeezed Jensen's hand.
"You love me, too? That's wonderful. We're going to get through this. My love for you will never change. Remember that."
Jared blinked his eye slowly and then it started to droop.
"Sleep, baby. I'll be right here." Jensen kissed his hand again. "That one is from me. I wish I could lie beside you tonight like we usually do. Tonight, I'll just talk you to sleep. Imagine that we're at home, trying to settle the dogs down. Jeff is taking care of them for as long as we need him to. You know how the dogs adore him. He's the only guy I know besides you who will actually get on the floor and roll around with them. The dogs seem to take years off Jeff's age. He doesn't feel the need to be a grown up.
Once the dogs are settled down, one of them lying their head in each of our laps, We'll gently move them and they'll curl up together on the floor. We'll tiptoe to our bedroom, knowing how excited the dogs would be if they woke.
We'll have our nightly shower where you use the excuse of saving water to be in there with me. I never point out that we spend more time in the shower together than we would separately. We enjoy the soft spray of hot water against our skin as our hands roam with the soap and washcloth. Sometimes a shower is more than just a shower.
By then our house is quiet, except for the soft snore of the dogs from the other room. We get into bed and cuddle together. We talk about anything that is on our mind. There are tender moments of kissing and caressing that might move on to being more, or might just be for the comfort that they provide.
Everything we have at home will still be there when you get out, Jared. Nothing between us is going to change. I'll always need to feel your body near for me to get a good night's sleep. I'm forever addicted to your body that I love to gaze at because I know the beautiful person beneath the skin. I know you, Jared. Who you are at the core. That's the man I love. Burns will never change that. Please don't let the burns change how you feel about me." Jensen paused because he had a tear sliding down his face and many more threatening to break loose.
Jared squeezed Jensen's hand. Then, he released it and traced a heart on the back of Jensen's hand before covering it with his.
That was all Jensen needed to know.
***
Jared laid there in pain. Doctors and nurses moved around him, picking pieces of skin off him. He wanted to be anywhere else. He focused on Jensen's voice, not even really listening to the words, just the calming voice.
He knew when Jensen made the phone calls. He listened intently as Jensen described their nightly routine detail by detail. He heard the teardrop in Jensen's voice before it even fell.
He desperately needed to communicate his love to Jensen. To make him know that he hadn't stopped loving him and that he wanted them to get through this together. He felt a little girlie for tracing a heart on his hand, but it did the trick.
They came during the night to do some more detriment. Once again, Jared was able to concentrate on Jensen's voice instead of the pain. When Jensen ran out of words, he sang songs, songs that he and Jared loved.
***
Other visitors came and went but Jensen remained the same. Steady, calm and ready for whatever the doctors threw at them.
He saw Jared through the physical therapy and helped him with the exercises at home. He helped him without coddling him and allowed him to be himself.
Most importantly, Jensen could look him in the eye and tell him how much he loved him. Through the eyes of love, he didn't see the burns or scars that would always be there. He accepted that Jared would have limitations on what he could do physically and the fact that he probably wouldn't be able to work as an actor anymore.
Jared knew that he was loved for who he was. The road to recovery was not an easy one, but as long as Jensen could look at him like he was the same old Jared, he wouldn't quit fighting the pain, limitations and anguish that the accident caused for him.
If Jensen still saw the same Jared that he fell in love with, Jared could be that guy.