my_sam_dean (my_sam_dean) wrote in cw_rps, @ 2008-04-29 08:21:00 |
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Jared didn't know what brought him to Jeff's door. He'd missed him since he hadn't been on set lately. Their phone calls had grown to be further apart. That hurt Jared and he didn't want to talk about it to Jeff over the phone.
Jeff opened the door in jeans and a t-shirt and was happy to find Jared on his doorstep.
"How have you been? Come on in," Jeff greeted him.
"Um, fine, I guess."
"That doesn't sound like you. Can I get you something to drink?"
"A beer would be great," Jared made himself comfortable on the couch and tried to remember how long it had been since he'd been to Jeff's.
"How's the movie going?"
"Long hours. You're actually lucky to catch me at home. You know how crazy the hours can be." Jeff handed Jared the beer and sat down on the couch by him with a beer for himself. "So why don't you tell me what's going on?"
He always got to the point. He knew Jared and could tell something was wrong. He wasn't about to dance around it. He just wanted to know.
"I - I miss you," Jared took another drink of beer and stared at the bottle in his hands instead of Jeff.
"I miss hanging around you guys, too, Jared. But, they killed my character off, I don't think I'm going to be working with you and Jensen much anymore. I'd love to, I just have to take the parts that I get. You understand."
"Yeah," Jared was quick to answer. Then, he was silent.
"Miss me how, Jared?" Jeff had done some thinking before carefully forming the question.
"That's just it. I don't know," Jared looked at him with teary eyes. "I miss the days when you were there to goof off with and make me smile."
"You still have Jensen. I thought you guys were close friends. Did something happen with him?"
"Jensen and I are fine. I just--" Jared couldn't find the words so he quickly set his bottle down turned to Jeff and covered his mouth with his.
"Um Jared," Jeff pulled back. "This is a surprise."
"Sorry," he was flustered. "I shouldn't have come." He stood up to leave.
"Jared," Jeff grabbed his arm to make him stay. "Don't leave. I'm not mad. I don't think of you that way, but I'm not upset. Come sit back down."
Jared bit his lip and followed him back to the couch. He downed most of his beer, wondering what Jeff must be thinking of him and the stunt he'd just pulled.
"How are you and Sandy?"
"You know. It's just the distance. "
"You two grew apart?"
Jared nodded as tears fell down his cheeks.
Jeff put an arm around Jared and just held him. "Maybe you're looking for another relationship and the limited number of people you meet while filming has made it difficult. The fact that there are few female characters in Supernatural doesn't make it any easier. I'm your friend, Jared. That's never going to change. Just a phone call away, remember?"
Jared snuggled into Jeff's warmth and Jeff remembered how sensitive Jared was.
"It's okay to need this--to be close to someone. It doesn't mean that you have to be romantically involved with them. It's just comfort that you're craving Jared. That's something most of your friends would give you."
"I'm ashamed that I--"
"Don't worry about that, Jared. I'm worried about you."
Jared just let Jeff hold him, wishing he could take that feeling of security wherever he went.
"You're going to find someone, Jared. You have a magnetic personality and you're a caring person. You're down to earth and uncomplicated. Those are good things. The right person is going to realize all that you have to offer. I don't know if you're confused about your sexuality or not, and it's none of my business. But, just so you know, I don't think you're attracted to men. You just need to cuddle and there aren't any available women around."
"Do you really think that?" Jared asked hopefully. He wanted to be the typical guy that got married and had kids.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."
Jared felt like a weight had been lifted. He'd been so confused and Jeff had been able to put it in a different light. "Thanks."
"You can stay here for awhile. I don't have any plans," Jeff felt Jared's body relax against his.
Jared figured out why he'd gone to Jeff. He was one person who could always figure Jared out and help find his way when he was lost. He didn't feel lost anymore.