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demelza! (quixotically) wrote in contentious,
@ 2008-12-01 00:55:00

Entry tags:

* complete, demelza robins, trystan robins

WHO: Demelza Robins, Trystan Robins
WHEN: 30th November, 2001
WHERE: The Leaky Cauldron
WHAT: Demelza's had a bad evening and Trystan attempts to find out what happened.
RATING: PG
WARNING: Language.
STATUS: Complete.

She didn't want to think about what happened. She didn't want to talk about what happened. She wanted to have a good time, get drunk, somehow manage to get home okay and sleep it off tomorrow because they didn't have practice and she could afford the hang over. And besides, there was a small masochistic part of her that welcomed the idea of being physically in pain - because that suddenly eradicated the need to immediately focus on anything else. Foolish logic, yes, but did she care? No.

Demelza was seated at the back, generally feeling horrible and annoyed about the turn of events of late, and then annoyed that she had the audacity to be annoyed. Her idealistic nature was struggling in the clash against the way she was feeling and it was, to be perfectly honest, driving her crazy. Did everyone wrestle this way? Did anyone even bother wrestling? Because it seemed to her that the majority of people she'd come across in her life were self-involved and no - didn't think about the way their words and actions were affecting the people around them. But then, sometimes she was self-involved too. Sometimes she lied to herself and managed to delude herself into thinking that her some of her actions were acceptable because the circumstances were as such that nothing was being admitted to make them wrong. Llew wasn't over what they had two years ago. She knew it, deep down. She just didn't want to see it - because that would make things complicated. And she was really not a fan of complicating things. That was why she went away afterwards. Because she didn't know how to play the role of both ex and best friend at the same time - it wouldn't work. The distance, she'd thought, would assist. Would nullify the former role and leave her to pick up as his friend when she returned. And also? It was something she wanted and needed for herself. Her sixth year was hell. And no, the majority of the people in her family wouldn't get it - because it wasn't something she could put into words. It wasn't something she wanted to put into words.

She sipped at her drink and began to form the conclusion that perhaps she was more selfish than she liked to admit. And that acting otherwise half the time was a front because she so desperately did not want to be accused of it. And it stung, it did, everytime anyone so much as called her out on being unkind or lacking thought or compassion for other people. Maybe she was holding herself up to standards far too quixotic for anyone's practical good.

The conversation she'd had with her mother before she'd gotten here still burned in her mind. Nina had been right. She couldn't just accept this tradition of ignoring what was not said, lying to herself and allowing herself to be deluded. That was the kind of thing people who didn't want to use their own heads did. It was what she accused people of in school, during the war, when they were fed plain untruths. And what? She was going to stop now? Because people weren't walking around saying that Muggleborns had stolen magic, that wizards and witches were superior evolved beings, and other things that she'd wholeheartedly disagreed with?

She used to be someone who would rather problems be confronted and dealt with, not tucked in a corner or swept under the rug passively so you couldn't see it and pretend it was okay. Tonight had been painful, yes. But she could deal. And it would be better in the long run - for everyone. And she was going to use it and learn from it and ensure she didn't make the same mistakes again. And with that conclusion, Demelza felt a little emboldened and less sorry for herself as a whole.

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 07:24 pm UTC (link)

Trystan had been alarmed by his sister's post on her journal. And he knew that she would probably be mad that he had showed up at the Leaky Cauldron to badger her (no, it wasn't badgering, it was being a nice, concerned older brother), but he was concerned. Demelza had always been closer to their mother than he was, but it seemed odd that she would just pack up and decide to stay with her so randomly. He wondered if it had something to do with Llew, because if it didn't, why else would she not just hole up in her flat, but he didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Particularly conclusions that would make him very, very angry.

She seemed absorbed in her drinks and her thoughts when he arrived, so he took off his jacket and sat down beside her without saying a word, knowing that he probably wasn't the company that she'd requested but not particularly caring. He knew she thought his protectiveness irritating, but the truth was that he had been hurt in a relationship, and badly, and he didn't want Demelza to have to experience it, too. She had been through enough without that heartache, too, though he would never admit that this was his reasoning out loud. Except, maybe, to Diggory. If Demelza couldn't see that, then she was an idiot. A lovable idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.

"I see I'm the first taker on your open invitation," he said flatly to jerk her away from her thoughts. He ordered a drink from the bar and looked at her carefully.

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quixotically
2008-11-30 07:53 pm UTC (link)

Demelza nearly jumped when she'd suddenly heard Trystan's voice right beside her. "Jesus," she swore, turning towards him slowly, heart still racing. "You scared me, you prat." But she didn't mean it. It was merely on of her common greetings for all her brothers. Including Brae, who didn't tend to act very prat-like. But if she wanted to be perfectly honest with herself - none of her brothers were prats in the true sense of the word, not even when they were being deliberately annoying. Which is why she let them get away with a lot of it.

"It seems like you are," she agreed with a nod. The bar wasn't all that full tonight. "But you never know. I could have a whole surprise party who all just upped and left for the bathroom and I'm only here manning the table." She pretended to make a face, "Girls. You know how they are."

She wasn't sure who she was hoping to come down. NO. That was a lie. She had held a vague hope, but she wasn't so attached to it that she would care if it happened, there was no expectation on her part. Just a vague hope. But nonetheless, she'd certainly not thought Trystan would come. She'd either temporarily forgotten her brother had a journal, or else deep down, she was pleased he came. Because that was what family was for, right?

Either way, she was stealing some of his drink. "That for me? Thank you."

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 08:00 pm UTC (link)

Trystan frowned at his sister, wondering how much she'd already had to drink during the evening. The good news, at least, was that even if she was completely wasted by the end of the night, she was with him, one of about five men in the world guaranteed not to take advantage of her. He let her have his drink, though, saying, "It's for you as long as you take me out and repay the favour at a later date." As for the purported girls, he doubted they were really in the loo. The Leaky Cauldron's loo wasn't that big.

Shifting in his seat, he let her have his drink and ordered another one. After all, she was the little sister. He was the one who was supposed to be taking her out. At least until she turned twenty. He sighed and leaned forward on the bar. "So, who'd you get into a fight with and why?" he asked.

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quixotically
2008-11-30 08:13 pm UTC (link)

Sweet. He was letting her have it! Sometimes, Demelza loved being the youngest. And the only girl. It reaped so many benefits from the only people in the world who couldn't ditch you for taking advantage of them. Not that she did it often, she didn't want to piss them off or push them into finding her ungrateful. She wasn't about to do odd things like crash on Brae's couch for the next six months, or leech off Howell's earnings because she was too stingy to use her own money. She wasn't quite like that - perhaps that was why it worked. They seemed to maintain a system of give and get and give back.

She took hold of the drink and grinned. "I can do that. You just tell me when."

The grin faded, however, when he asked the serious questions. Urgh. Straight down to business, wasn't he? It must be a reporter thing. "My housemate and it was stupid."

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 08:29 pm UTC (link)

"So stupid that you're going to stay with Mum," Trystan pointed out. He had a feeling that wrestling whatever happened out of Demelza would be a struggle, but luckily (for him, at least), he was just about as stubborn as she could be. If letting her drinking would get her talking, he was willing to pay for the alcohol. Well, to an extent, at least. He took a sip out of his glass and considered what the best thing to say next would be. "You know you're going to be surrounded by Oliver! preparations and all that. It must've been pretty bad. Care to explain?"

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quixotically
2008-11-30 08:43 pm UTC (link)

Her brother was smart, and she knew it. There was only so long until she could evade answering and he'd either have pieced together all the hints she'd accidentally dropped - or else, she gave into the pestering and just told him outright. But not all the time. There were days when she could hold her own, just out of sheer Gryffindor determination and stubborness.

"Well," she shrugged, "Mum's visiting all these orphans and someone has to remind her she still has children who want and need her so she doesn't end up committing the next eighteen or so years to adopting some poor soul. Our family could do without growing unnecessarily," she determined. "And don't remind me about the Oliver! preparations. Have you seen her flat? I think she's living and breathing this musical. She practically drove me out of the house because I couldn't stand to hear anymore about whether she should have a song transposed to fit a key, or just pick the not-as-good-but-still-very-talented-in-their-own-right actress as..." she faltered. "I don't even know which character."

Demelza evasive tactics seemed to include babbling about anything and everything else.

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 08:49 pm UTC (link)

Trystan seemed to be wearing a perpetual frown throughout this conversation. He listened to Demelza's babble and nodded to the bartended to top up her drink. He wasn't paying close attention to what she was saying, though. The important thing was to nod and pretend that he cared about what she was talking about. And, if all else failed, he could always ask her now-apparently-estranged roommate. He would be harder to grill for details, though. He nursed his own drink.

"Demelza," he said firmly. "I really don't care about the musical. Or orphans. Or whether or not we're going to have a new adopted sibling, because it'll be so young I can just ignore it. I want to know what happened. Did he hurt you?" He tried to make the last sentence sound sympathetic rather than badgering.

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quixotically
2008-11-30 08:57 pm UTC (link)

She sighed. It was getting harder to keep her resolve now. She'd been sipping at her pint intermittently and had only just realised, it had more in it now that when she'd begun sharing about the orphans. Demelza frowned at Trystan. She really didn't want to go into it. She was partly ashamed, and partly unwilling to sell Llew out. It was between them. Other people didn't have to get involved.

"Yes. But there's nothing he said that wasn't true. Don't worry about it, Trystan."

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 09:00 pm UTC (link)

Saying "Don't worry about it, Trystan" was like saying, "Hey, Trystan, try not to breathe for a day or so, and it'll all be fine." It was impossible for him to do, not only because Demelza was his little sister and she needed looking after, but because Llew was involved, too, and he was a friend. So that was double worrying, double wondering, and double trying to figure out what happened. Besides all that, he was just plain curious. He was well-suited to Slytherin but he did have his Ravenclaw qualities.

"What did he say to you?" he demanded.

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quixotically
2008-11-30 09:09 pm UTC (link)

Demelza took a draught from her pint first. Possibly not the best idea, as it meant her resolve was quite weakened now and the likelihood of her spilling what she didn't want to share was officially increased. Her brows knotted together and she sighed again, trying to push back the sadness that threatened to spill over her. This isn't what she wanted. But on the other hand, it could be relieving to just say it. And be done with it.

She glanced up at her brother and relaxed the muscles in her face, adopting a much more serene expression. "He was upset. Because his sister didn't come over to celebrate his birthday. And because we lost, and because he missed his parents. And it all just came out in one horrible mess." That wasn't why she felt the need to leave for peace of mind, though.

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 09:13 pm UTC (link)

Trystan had to take a moment to think about this. Everyone had their skeletons in their closets, and he knew about Llew's. But that didn't really explain anything. It was just saying that Llew had reasons for being an ass to his sister. "So, now that you're done making excuses for him, are you going to tell me what he actually did?" he asked, looking at her with an earnest expression.

After a moment's reconsideration, he added, "I promise I won't hurt him, unless he caused you physical harm." He pointedly looked Demelza up and down. "And you look to be okay in that arena, at least."

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quixotically
2008-11-30 09:34 pm UTC (link)

She hesitated - because she hadn't been hesitating quite long enough, in her opinion - and weighed up her options. She could tell him, but what good would it do? Because what was said was true and it was irrevocable. You couldn't go back in the past and undo things that you yourself had done.

"He didn't do anything to me!" she assured him. "To be perfectly honest, he just," she frowned and rubbed her head. How much had she had to drink, exactly? "I basically told him he should tell me what was bothering him. I didn't like to hear it. It wasn't nice, the way he said it, but it was true. He just," she tucked back her hair. "He seemed to imply that I was taking for granted Anise and Noah when he doesn't really have a big family like ours where everyone cares about one another."

Her heart sank as she admitted it to Trystan. Because there they were, sitting at a bar - where he'd cared enough to be concerned about her. And she took this thing for granted.

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 09:42 pm UTC (link)

Well, of course Trystan was there because he cared, even if he did have somewhat warped ways of expressing it. He took some time to take a drink and think about what Demelza had said. He was more than aware of the Wynne's family problems, and he knew that Llew had lost a lot, and then to be ignored by his sister would have been a slap in the face. He couldn't imagine Demelza blowing him off. Give him lip, maybe. Argue with him, yes. But not just forgetting about him.

But the Robinses had their own set of problems that Trystan was well aware of. And it wasn't right of Llew to act like that wasn't true. Sounding perhaps a bit angry, he said, "Anise and Noah aren't family. They're people we're forced to interact with through Dad. He should know that. We've got our own issues. It's not fair to act like we don't. Look at our parents." This conversation needed more alcohol. He finished off his drink. "It's not fair of him to plant his issues onto you. None of that is your fault."

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quixotically
2008-11-30 10:10 pm UTC (link)

She began fidgeting, wincing at the tone of his voice. Alternating between fingering her glass and pushing back her hair, to tucking it behind her ear - and whatever other natural, slightly irritating habits she possessed that intensified themselves when she was feeling like this.

He mentioned their parents, and she looked down. If there was anything she didn't want - she didn't want a relationship like theirs. Or like Trystan's last one with Rose, even. She didn't want to be hurt, or committing to something on unequal grounds. She didn't want to be loved more than she loved back, or to love more than she was loved back.

"I know," she replied with a frown. "But it's true. I do complain a lot. It's insensitive. And it's true that I left after breaking up with him, and as his best friend he would have needed me around. But," she looked up and with the same resolution she had earlier. "I couldn't be both things."

Did any of that even make sense? She cared not. She was expressing it at last.

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 10:17 pm UTC (link)

Trystan hadn't meant to agitate Demelza -- he simply hadn't thought that what he said would agitate her. He motioned for the bartender to refill his pint and gave a laboured sigh. However, what she said did make sense, so he nodded sagely.

"You might be insensitive, but it's still not your fault. And now you know you're being insensitive, you can stop. That's pretty simple," he told her. He felt bad for upsetting her, so he patted her on the shoulder a bit awkwardly. "And that's why you shouldn't date friends. Especially best friends. It's not as though you could sit around and hear him express his heartbreak over his break up... with you."

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quixotically
2008-11-30 10:30 pm UTC (link)

Demelza looked over at her brother and shook her head. "I think," she bit her lip, "Living with him is insensitive. But I've done this before. I start something with him, and then I realise that it's not what I want - or that it's not the best decision in the world, and I have to pull out."

She lowered her gaze. She didn't want to drink anymore. She'd had more than enough for tonight. "I need to stop being so fucking oblivious."

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 10:33 pm UTC (link)

"Well, he should've known better than to let you move in with him if he wasn't over you." There, that was said. Sure, Llew was a friend, but he didn't need to be so... stupid. And that much was obvious. He wasn't about to invite Rose to move in which him to try and be friends. Of course, his relationship with Rose had been far more disastrous than Demelza's with Llew, but it was still the same principle.

"You should just move out and put the distance back or whatever," Trystan told her. He was a bloke, and not the best relationship counselor in the world, but he was just calling it as he saw it.

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quixotically
2008-11-30 11:11 pm UTC (link)

"I think the distance is good. But he's at work, and I go back eventually, and I don't want to upset him," she said. But maybe it was for the greater good. Because maybe you had to do things you didn't want to do to stop things from ending explosively. She couldn't live without Llew as her best friend. Maybe protecting their friendship was less about ignoring what happened and carrying on obliviously and more about agreeing where the lines were and not crossing them? Hadn't she said that to Romilda a few days ago?

Speaking of Romilda, ugh. She didn't even want to go there.

"Maybe I should," she mused, biting her lip.

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tyrannical
2008-11-30 11:22 pm UTC (link)

Trystan heaved another sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Relationships. Honestly. Demelza and Llew weren't even in a relationship anymore, either. Leaning back in his chair, he gave the entire matter a good deal of thought. There was a long silence before he replied.

"Dem, sometimes you have to upset people to get the point across. That's obviously what happened with this latest fight you had. Just say it to him nicely. Everybody has boundaries." This was, of course, ironic coming from him, as he wasn't very respectful of boundaries, but oh well.

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	quixotically 2008-11-30 11:32 pm UTC (link)
	Demelza shrugged. "I guess so," was the answer she offered in a resigned tone. She was a little too tipsy to be dwelling on this anymore. "I'll tell him. Tomorrow, maybe. Or the day after. And - oh shit!" She'd just realised. "I left Poppy and Marlowe with him, I have to go over tomorrow morning anyway." She really needed to start thinking things through. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	tyrannical 2008-11-30 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	Trystan couldn't believe that at a time like this, Demelza was worrying about her pets. "I think Llew can handle them. And you should go home. You look miserable and are probably drunker than you're letting on." He finished off her drink in one gulp. Ugh. It burned. "And don't put off talking to him. That'll just be awkward." (Reply to this) (Thread)

quixotically
2008-11-30 11:57 pm UTC (link)

"I know, but I don't want to impose," she explained and then thought that it was a pointless arguement and she wasn't in the mood for trivial things right now. She didn't say anything about procrastinating. She could decide that later. Ironically. When she wasn't drunk.

"I'm going, I'm going," she informed him and leaned towards him to give him an affectionate half hug. "Thanks," she said sincerely. "For coming. And for talking to me."

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	tyrannical 2008-12-01 12:02 am UTC (link)
	"What else are brothers for?" Trystan asked. "Besides scaring off potential boyfriends." This was probably as close as he and Demelza would ever get to a real heart-to-heart, so he hugged her back tightly. "Are you okay to Apparate on your own?" There was the concern again. (Reply to this) (Thread)

quixotically
2008-12-01 12:15 am UTC (link)

"Plying me with alcohol, apparently." She let out an empty chuckle. "Well, the only one I was interested in seems to be scared off to someone else - or distracted. Or, anyway, the point is - you don't have to worry about that." Ugh. She really had had too much to drink.

"I think I'm okay," she replied. It was times like these she wished her mother would just join the bloody Floo Network already. Nina was an oddball. So was Demelza, but she'd at least decided to incorporate both Wizarding and Muggle culture into her life as much as possible.

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tyrannical
2008-12-01 12:22 am UTC (link)

"Alright," Trystan said testily, though he was surely going to stay here until she'd gone to pick up the pieces if she Splinched herself. "I'll see you, then. Don't spend too much time at Mum's. Else you'll start belting out showtunes and asking for more porridge soon." He paid for their drinks, making a mental note that one day, Demelza owed him at least a pint, and stood up, putting his coat back on.

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	quixotically 2008-12-01 12:34 am UTC (link)
	Demelza slung her handbag over her shoulder and collected her jacket and her scarf. "If she drives me batty, I'll drop by and you can put up with me instead," she promised. "See you, Trystan. Love you!" And with that, Demelza Apparated away. (Reply to this) (Parent)

tyrannical
2008-12-01 12:36 am UTC (link)

"Love you, too," Trystan muttered, somewhat reluctantly, but by the time he said it, she was gone. He was worried about his sister, and more than his usual overprotectiveness. He had a feeling more was going on than she'd said, but it was hard enough weaseling that much information out of her. Well, it was time to go home, anyway. Only recent dumpees and losers hung out in bars alone. He got his wand out of his pocket and Disapparated back to his flat.

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