InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I am Boy Wonder not Sunshine!"

Cordelia Chase takes crap from no one. (thisismyofframp) wrote in colligo_comms,
@ 2012-02-10 03:03:00

Entry tags:

cordelia chase, owen harper, text message

Text Messages for Owen Harper
So I really hope you're home. Because if you aren't, you need to be. Now.

[immediately after]
And if you could open my bathroom door, that would be great. Oh! And bring a really big knife. Or sword. Or machete. Or maybe even all three.

[immediately after that]
Because I'm stuck inside. And wrapped in vines. And I'm pretty sure there's a giant snake at my feet.

[and immediately after that]
And a scorpion the size of my head that's a few feet above my head.

[a few seconds later]
Did I mention I don't want to die again? Because I really don't. Not even a little. The first time was bad enough. Definitely not looking for round two, here. Just saying.

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	Return Texts. imatwat 2012-02-10 08:11 am UTC (link)
	Are you clothed? Because if you're not, that would make one hell of a picture. [ a few seconds later ] Grabbed the cleaver from the kitchen. (Reply to this) (Thread)

Return Texts.

thisismyofframp
2012-02-10 08:16 am UTC (link)

Define clothed. Pervert.

[a few seconds later]
What part of 'machete' translates to 'cleaver', exactly? I'm telling you. That scorpion is going to pull that thing from your hands and hack us both to death with it.

[immediately after]
But, you know, thanks for at least helping me out. Or it'll be a thanks once you've managed to get in here and do it rather than texting about it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. imatwat 2012-02-10 08:21 am UTC (link)
	More than something that could qualify as swimwear. [ a few seconds later ] Should I grab my gun as well? [ immediately after that ] I don't have a larger sword. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. thisismyofframp 2012-02-10 08:31 am UTC (link)
	That would be a no. [a few seconds later] A gun? No. You are not shooting something that's this close to my head. Or my feet. Or any other part of my body, for that matter. [immediately after] I have a sword under my mattress. And two more in my closet. And a katana in the closet in the foyer, on the top shelf. Take your pick. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. imatwat 2012-02-10 08:34 am UTC (link)
	I'm a good shot. I'm not going to hit your head or your foot or any other part of your body. [ immediately after Crody's last ] Remind me to never piss you off ever again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. thisismyofframp 2012-02-10 08:37 am UTC (link)
	You don't SHOOT a sword, oh smart one. Not exactly instilling me with confidence, here. [after his last] What can I say? I grew up on a Hellmouth and worked for a vampire with a propensity to randomly turn evil. I know how to be prepared. And that's not even getting in to how many crossbows, stakes, and other pointy things I have hidden around the place. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. imatwat 2012-02-10 08:40 am UTC (link)
	Not all that great with a sword. I might hit your foot or your head with this. [ a few seconds later ] Again. Never pissing you off again. ~~Unless I have a really good~~ (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. thisismyofframp 2012-02-10 08:44 am UTC (link)
	Owen. You're a guy. A guy who has sex. Which means you have to stick things in a small area more often than you miss. You can use a freaking sword. [a few seconds later] And if you want to do that whole not pissing me off thing? GET ME OUT OF THIS BATHROOM ALREADY. [a few seconds later] Please. And thank you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Return Texts. imatwat 2012-02-10 08:46 am UTC (link)
	All right. I found one I think I can handle. [ immediately after ] On my way. (Reply to this) (Parent)