|Asuka (antabaka) wrote in clockwork_rp,|
@ 2008-05-17 18:12:00
|Entry tags:||asuka::antabaka, shinji::third_child|
Pity and Fear [Active]
Who: Asuka (antabaka) and Shinji (third_child)
What: Asuka needs to color this bitch :/
Where: The lobby of the hotel and then her room.
When: Now! Ooo!
Rating: ROTF PROBABLY AT LEAST PG-13. Asuka has a potty mouth.
Asuka twirled a piece of her hair as she sat near one of the windows of the lobby. Her head was pressed gently against the glass as she watched the storm brewing outside, waiting silently for Shinji's arrival in the hotel, knowing full well that he was not going to be pleased with what she was going to do to him. The memories had been such a painful reminder of how much she'd hated her life, how much she'd hated being alive, and she wondered shortly after Cloud had left her in her room, tears streaming silently down her face as she stared at the wall opposite of her bed whether or not she had been better off ignorant - better of black and white, unaware of the cruelties, the guilt, and the pain of life outside of a little box. Had Cloud really done her a favor pulling back to this world? She couldn't even tell anymore.
So why was she so desperate to bring Shinji back? She wondered briefly whether or not she should simply tell him to forget it, to turn around and go back home - or to at least just stay in her room until the storm passed. She wondered if he was better off forgetting all about Unit 01, Angels, even about his father. He would be forever happy as a carbon copy of ignorant bliss, wouldn't he? Her eyes watered at the thought and she knew full well that that wasn't an option. He needed to remember. He needed to be himself. He needed to experience life, no matter how painful it may have been to do so.
Or perhaps she just wanted him to remember her. Perhaps she was being selfish. It didn't matter anymore - all she knew was it was something she had to do. Something that would make things right somehow.
Pulling herself away from the window, she crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw tight. She pushed the tears that had formed in her eyes away angrily with her hand. She'd promised herself once she would never cry again - never show that kind of weakness. Yet Cloud had caused her to remember and caused her to sob. She wasn't going to do it again. Not if she had a say in it.
"Where the hell is that boy when you need him?" She muttered. Shinji was apparently taking too long for her tastes.