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Mona Kemp ([info]palestgold) wrote in [info]cirque_rp,
@ 2017-11-19 18:57:00

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WHO: Mona & Kit
WHEN: October 30th, just after 3am (so technically the 31st)
WHERE: The animal stables
WHAT: Returning to the scene
WARNINGS: death talk

It had taken a while for Mona to start to feel anything again. Her sisters had arrived at the stables to collect her, both them taking Mona in their arms and holding her tight, their loose red hair spilling together and making Mona suddenly feel like she was in a safe warm cocoon.

I want my mom, Mona thought desperately and not for the first time tonight.

But then her sisters drew away enough to help her up and Mona saw the body of the dead girl again and moaned helplessly, letting someone lead her away. They retired to Mona's shop, sitting in the upstairs section with it always seemingly like someone was watching out the windows.

Mona didn't remember much, but eventually they all went to bed in a trailer together and despite the fact that Mona thought she would never sleep again, everyone's voices faded almost immediately after she lay down.

Her dreams, when they came, were uneasy and dark.

When she woke it was dark and everyone was either asleep or not in the caravan, and Mona lay for a long time watching moonlight through one of the curtains.

Eventually she drew the covers off herself as quietly as possible and made her way outside. She didn't know where they had put her shoes when they took them off, so she went barefoot across the circus, clad in the grey tank top of her work outfit and pajama pants from Maddy.

She knew, on some level, she shouldn't be going there but she couldn't help herself. The animal stalls smelled like hay and sweat and the place where the girl had been was now empty as though she'd never been there at all.

But the stall wasn't empty; Mona didn't realise this until after she'd stepped inside, and she froze on the stop, once again unable to move. But the tall figure was familiar as her eyes adjusted and she said, "Kit?" A pause and then: "you didn't come for me."

It sounded so pathetic and small. She barely knew this guy, but tonight she felt like she needed everyone she could get to look after her. She'd never felt so unstable.

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-19 02:52 pm UTC (link)
It had been a very long time since Kit had felt so lost.

The events over the previous few days had taken a toll on everyone at the Cirque, what with each passing night bringing about more unexplainable phenomena. It seemed that the disappearances of various employees and the missing chunks of time experienced by others had come to a head that night, with Kit dangerously close to the center of it. Despite not knowing for certain what had happened during the times he had been taken over by the spirit of Jack the Ripper, he knew this much; he had killed, butchered, and he had no recollection of committing such a thing.

Kit had killed people before. He was a vampire and so it was rare that he felt guilt regarding the taking of a life. This was different. Not only had he know the victim, had worked closely with and had a personal connection to her, but he had been under the influence of somebody else. He had not been in control of his own actions, his own body or mind, and that unsettled him more than anything else for a lack of control had always been his biggest fear.

Returning to the scene of the crime had not been Kit's intention. Once he had been let go by the Ringmaster, he had fully intended to return to his trailer and think over the events of that night. He hadn't even stepped fully through the door before he had turned around and headed for the animal stables, his mind numb as his feet retraced the steps he had unknowingly taken previously.

The scent of blood, despite having been washed away, lingered in the air and it hit him as soon as he entered, mixed with straw, feed, the animals within, and, to his dismay, the faint tickle of vanilla. Mona. With a heavy sigh, Kit followed his nose to the empty stall, lingering by the entrance as he stared at the spot where the body had been found. Arms folded across his chest, he kept his eyes fixed on the freshly cleaned floor, his thoughts a noisy jumble inside of his head.

At first, Kit thought that he was imagining Mona calling his name. Then, as the scent of her perfume took over all the others within the stable, he turned to look at her just as she quietly gave voice to her thoughts. Instantly, it felt as though a stone had been dropped into his stomach at the sound of her words, at the sight of her standing there looking so helpless, and the knowledge of what she had been through that night. Most of all, it was the fact that he had let her down.

"Mona," he said, his voice hushed as he turned to her. He remained in place, rooted to the spot despite the urge to approach her, to comfort her in some way. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to, I was going to, but..." Pausing, he shook his head. Could she handle a full explanation right now, after everything that had happened? "I'm sorry."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-19 10:19 pm UTC (link)
Mona shook her head a little to say, It's fine, it doesn't matter, don't worry about it, because in the grand scheme of things it really meant so little. Her sisters had come for her and she was safe and loved.

The only person who wasn't safe was the poor woman Mona had found.

She looked over towards where she'd been and said, in a very small voice, "that's where she was lying." She swallowed. "What was left of her."

Mona closed her eyes tightly for a moment, wishing she could forget that sight. When she opened them she almost expected to see her lying there in the moonlight, but it was still just herself and Kit.

"Kennet-" A heavy breath out as she tried to control the shaking in her voice. "Kennet made me go over and look at her... asked me to see if I find any clues."

It was an attempt to explain (she would realise later) that she belonged here at the cirque just like anyone else. She could be helpful. She could be part of this family. She wasn't just some scared and useless human. If the Ringmaster wanted her to examine a torn apart body, then Mona could examine a torn apart body.

Mona felt sick.

She hadn't even met the dead woman before. This was a member of her new family that she had only seen after she had left them all. And then, upon realising something, she felt her vision start to blur with tears she refused to shed.

"I don't- Do you know what her name was?"

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 03:39 am UTC (link)
Following the direction of Mona's gaze with his own, Kit stared at the floor where the body had been found. He didn't know what state Mona had found it in, how badly the injuries had been, but in having seen the aftermath of the Ripper victims the first time around, he could guess. Finding a body would have been traumatic enough for Mona but to find one of the Ripper's victims was on another scale of horror entirely.

Drawing his eyes away as Mona continued, the sight that met him would have broken his heart had it been working. She looked so small standing there, so fragile, so unused to the harshness of life. It had come as a shock to her, that much was obvious, but the fact that she had returned and was now relaying the events to him spoke of her courage and her strength. It was admirable.

"Her name was Natalia," Kit said, unable to miss the tears reflected by the moonlight in Mona's eyes. "She was a contortionist who worked at the Midway."

Thinking back on the girl he spoke of, Kit swallowed hard. Although he hadn't known Natalia extremely well, they had crossed paths several times since she had joined the Cirque a year or so previous. He remembered her bubbly personality, her vivacious attitude, the way she would light up when she heard the music and caught sight of the patrons. Her loss would certainly be felt amongst the troupe.

With a small sigh, Kit allowed himself one last glance at the back of the stable before fixing his attention on Mona. He couldn't help Natalia now but he could at least attempt to help Mona. "What do you need?" he asked softly, finally unfolding his arms from across his chest and tentatively opening them to invite her to come closer. "What can I do?"

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 03:48 am UTC (link)
Mona just shook her head slowly, because she couldn't imagine there was anything anyone could do right then. She walked over towards him and then, still a few paces away, she sat down on the cold earth to watch Natalia's final spot.

She tried not to think of the way the body had been twisted, and the gross irony that she'd been a contortionist. She tried to remember the face of the contortionist she had sometimes seen in the Midway when she was on shift and attach it to the dead girl, but there had been blood obscuring her face.

There had been so much blood.

After a long pause she asked, "does anyone know what happened to her? And to the others?"

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 04:11 am UTC (link)
Watching as Mona settled on the ground, Kit moved closer and sank to the floor beside her. He kept his gaze fixed on her face, attempting to read her expression and work out what he could possibly do to make things better. It didn't seem as though he could do much, save sit with her and offer up explanations when and if she voiced them. For a long while, he didn't think that she would. But then, she spoke.

With a shorter but still lengthy pause of his own, Kit began to explain. "Do you know the story of Jack the Ripper?" he asked, figuring that a little background information might soften the inevitable blow he would deliver regarding his own part in all of this.

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 04:36 am UTC (link)
That drew Mona completely and immediately out of her vacant gaze, and her eyes fixed on Kit with alarm. "What?" she asked sharply. Her nod was heavy and uncomfortable and one of those memorized lists of information Mona collected (to use as party tricks or calming techniques at a future date) was rising to the surface.

"The canonical five:," she said, looking back to the empty space across from them and feeling a shiver. "Mary Ann Nichols, Annie Chapman, Elizabeth Stride, Catherine Eddowes, Mary Jane Kelly. The unconfirmed: Rose Mylett, Alice McKenzie, the Pinchin Street torso, Frances Coles."

It shouldn't have calming in this instance, but the recitation of learned names and the dragging up of information was working for her just as well right then as it would have done in a crowded mall. Or, at least, it would have calmed her if Kit wasn't saying what she thought he was saying.

"He's alive?" she whispered, looking at Kit. Her eyes were shining with frightened tears and the shadows around them seemed like they were closing in. "How? What- what is he?"

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 05:01 am UTC (link)
Kit had not been expecting the recited list of names. While most people knew the story of the Ripper, very few could pull the facts up as quickly as Mona just had. Under any other circumstance, it would have been impressive. Hearing the names of the victims, some of whom he had known personally, hammered home that the events of the previous few days had indeed happened and that he was tasked with attempting to explain what had happened.

"He isn't alive," Kit said quickly, taking note of the fear on Mona's face. "He hasn't been for over a century. But his spirit, well, that was another matter."

Taking a deep breath that he didn't need to take, Kit thought on his words for several moments before launching into the story. "I'm not sure what prompted him to return. Maybe it was the amount of energy the Cirque has, or enough time had passed for him to grow powerful enough. Whatever it was, it gave his spirit the ability to possess the bodies of others. Whenever he did that, the person who he possessed had no idea. They were left with chunks of missing time and no recollection of what had happened save the stories of others and the bodies of the girls."

With an almost helpless shrug, Kit finally glanced away from Mona's face and instead loooked down at his hands. The hands that had killed Natalia. "The murders of 1888 were recreated," he said quietly. "The Ripper targeted women as he did back then. Each of the missing girls from the Cirque died in the same ways as Mary Ann, Annie, Lizzie, Catherine, and Mary Jane. Maybe not exactly but just as violently and horribly."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 05:18 am UTC (link)
That was a lot to process and so Mona said nothing.

On the one hand, she could be relieved that Jack the Ripper was apparently not some sort of immortal god-like demon walking the streets of London for eternity. On the other hand, the ghost of Jack the Ripper was possessing people like this was some bad horror movie and forcing them to not only kill, but to kill people they had known and possibly loved.

The cirque was a family, and someone from the outside had broken through to turn them against each other.

When she thought about it, that was worse.

"So these girls," Mona swallowed. "These girls would have been killed by people they knew. They would have thought someone they trusted had turned against them in their last moments."

Mona choked a little on those words and covered her mouth with her hand, afraid a sob was going to escape.

"And the people?" Mona asked quietly, waveringly, tears sliding down her cheeks now as she thought about the other victims, the ones who had to now live with it. "Do they know yet what he made them do? God, how are they supposed to be okay after that? How do you go back after something evil has slipped inside and turned you into a killer?"

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 05:35 am UTC (link)
Mona's words echoed inside of Kit's head, the thought of what Natalia's final moments might have been like causing the swirling of guilt inside of his chest to intensify. He hadn't seen her body, hadn't known the extent of the injuries she had suffered at his hand, yet the mere thought of it was enough to silence him for several long moments.

It was the sound of Mona's barely concealed sob that brought Kit back to the present, his head snapping up and his eyes turning to her suddenly. He followed the trail of tears dripping down her cheeks before returning his gaze to her eyes, his own expression softening considerably. "The Ringmaster gave no details save that the act had been committed and that the Ripper had been in possession when it had happened," he said, well aware that his words were a confession as well as an explanation. "If this time is anything like 1888? I don't think being okay is going to be an option for a long time."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 05:41 am UTC (link)
Mona nodded slowly, listening to his words but not yet processing their meaning. But that understanding came crept up and the furrowing of her brows deepened further.

"Oh," she breathed heavily. Then, again, with even more sympathy: "Oh."

Mona looked at him for another moment longer and then, turning, she closed the space between the two of them and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, holding him close.

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 05:59 am UTC (link)
Before Kit could do anything else, he found himself with an armful of Mona. So surprised was he at the sudden contact that he remained stiff-backed for several moments before her warmth seeped into his body and he all but folded into her embrace. Loosely coiling his arms around her back, Kit rested his chin on her shoulder and savoured the touch, the tickle of her breath caressing his ear.

"I'm sorry too," he whispered, turning his head to bury his face in her hair. The scent of vanilla was overwhelming but Kit found it soothing to his senses. "Sorry that you were the one to find what I had done."

With another deep and unneccessary breath, Kit pulled away in order to look at Mona's face without disrupting their embrace. Caught up in the moment, he brushed her hair from her face and looked her directly in the eye, the desire to be truthful prompting his next confession. "I've...I've killed people before, I won't lie. It's in my nature. But never like this. Never so needlessly or violently, and never someone I knew."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 06:20 am UTC (link)
The guilt and sadness coming from Kit managed to head off the horror of his next words: that confession that he'd killed before, that it was 'in his nature'. She didn't know what that meant, and wasn't sure she needed to in that moment.

She had never been so close to someone else who wasn't related to her, never had someone brush her hair away from her face like that. Had it been any other moment she would have thought it a romantic gesture, a prelude to a kiss, but it wasn't like that.

She lifted her own hand and put it against his cheek softly. "I forgive you," she told him quietly. She would let him take those words for whatever he needed the for. For this killing, for the killings of the past, for her being the one to find the body. "It's going to be okay. Somehow."

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 06:35 am UTC (link)
Forgiveness was a strange concept to Kit. He had never really needed it before, had never been in a position to deserve it. His prior deeds were committed with a clear conscience, both in his human lifetime and afterwards. He was a crook, a criminal, someone who had frequently stolen from others and used his skills to evade having to face up to his actions. The number of bodies that lay in his wake after being turned, uncountable as they were, had never been thought upon with the same measure of guilt and sadness as the one death he couldn't remember causing.

The touch of Mona's warm hand against his cold cheek brought a level of comfort that Kit couldn't explain, her words of reassurance and hope having the same effect on his long-dead heart. "I don't deserve it," he said plainly. "But I'm grateful for it all the same."

Deep down, Kit knew that things would be okay eventually. Life didn't stop for anyone or anything. While it would take a while for the wounds inflicted in London to heal, time would pass and the horrors of the previous few days would become a memory. For now though, it would be difficult.

"It will be okay eventually," Kit said, giving Mona one final squeeze before pulling back. As much as he appreciated the warmth her body provided, he didn't want her to grow too chilly from his touch. Yet he didn't move too far away, still within touching distance should she need him. "Until then, let me know if there's ever anything I can do for you. Anything at all. I...I want to help, if you'll let me."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 06:52 am UTC (link)
He was so cold and she worried about that, but he didn't shiver like he was feeling it. She was starting to wonder if this had something to do with whatever his powers were. Still she hadn't asked him that.

Besides, she couldn't offer him anything to warm up. She wasn't wearing much herself. To his offer, Mona nodded a little. "I'll let you know, I guess." She sighed and drew her legs up closer to herself. "I think... time. I think it's just going to take time."

"Kennet offered to wipe the memories away," she added with a frown. "Or... not wipe it, but- he said 'blur'. But I told him I didn't want it."

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 07:10 am UTC (link)
Time. It was said to be the best cure for a lot of things and, luckily for Kit, he had more than enough of it. While the same couldn't be said of Mona, at least not in the same way, he knew that her words rang true. "It'll get easier," he said, once again reaching out and brushing her cheek. "Once we move to a new place and begin again, we can all start to heal."

Although Kit wasn't surprised by the offer by Kennet to alter Mona's memories, he was oddly relieved to hear that she had refused. It spoke of strength, of wanting to see things through without an easy fix. As with most things that Mona did, Kit was pleasantly surprised and more than a little admiring. "If you think that's for the best then I support you and your decision," he said softly. "But if things ever get overwhelming or you want to talk about it, well, I'm here. I'll always be here."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 07:23 am UTC (link)
Mona reached out and took his other hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. "I feel like we've met at a really weird time," Mona admitted quietly and with the tiniest of smiles. Then, with an almost laugh, the sort that happened when one was exhausted and stressed and completely overwhelmed she added, "what an understatement."

Then she sighed and leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder heavily. "I don't want to go back to sleep tonight."

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 07:47 am UTC (link)
Mona's observation drew a chuckle from Kit, the cloud of negativity in his chest easing ever so slightly. "A little bit," he agreed, squeezing her hand back before adjusting the position so that their fingers were entwined. "But I'm glad. Like I said before, perhaps it's fate."

Glancing down as Mona rested against him, Kit moved his free arm across her shoulders and brought his hand up to smooth carefully through her loose hair. It was an soothing gesture, the repetitiveness of his fingers brushing through the soft strands calming, and he was comforted by the temporary relief it brought him. "You don't have to if you don't want to," he said, his voice hushed so as not to disturb the peace that had settled over them both. "We can stay here, if you'd like. Or we can go somewhere a bit more comfortable. Whatever you want."

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[info]palestgold
2017-11-20 07:54 am UTC (link)
The fate thing had been such a joke, but now maybe he was right. Maybe fate really was just what you called it later when it had been the right place and the right time for what you needed.

"I'd like to stay," Mona said just as quietly, as she focused on his hand in her hair, gentle and slow. It reminded her of how her grandpoppy had looked after her when she was tiny and sad, and she needed that right now. "Just a little longer."

She'd have to go back soon enough or her sisters would worry, but not yet. For now she just wanted to sit here with Kit and let him stroke her hair. She just wanted to sit together with someone in the dark and mourn a girl she'd never known but who had changed her life.

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[info]abscondss
2017-11-20 08:34 am UTC (link)
With a small hum of acknowledgement, Kit tightened his hold around Mona's shoulders and carefully pulled her closer. She seemed content enough despite their difference in temperatures, so he thought no more about it as he continued to play with her hair.

"As long as you need," he said, willing to sit with her for as long as she would allow him to. After the night they had both had, a little restbit of quiet in the company of someone who could understand what a toll it had taken was something of a blessing. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

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