InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Bugrit!"

Dia Thakur (protectress) wrote in cirque_rp,
@ 2017-08-20 12:01:00

Who: Nalini & Ranveer
What: Settling in. Prompt: Uncomfortable Bed
When: June 5th, late afternoon
Where: The Village, their trailer
Rating: TBA?

By the time Nali and her husband had reached their trailer, she had been ready for the break in the day. The morning had been... challenging, not what she imagined it would be like to wake in her new husband's arms. And after that, everything had seemed to happen all at once, a flurry of activity that blurred together for her. Arriving at the Cirque, introducing themselves to the Ringmaster, the whirlwind that seemed to be the circus itself...

Nali was still tired, she supposed, reeling from the last few days. Otherwise, she would have been able to take the day more in stride. Besides, it was difficult to stay balanced while Ranveer was still so clearly unsettled. It had been that way since they had woken together, broken only by periods of feigned unity – they were a matched set, and to give the impression that their match was not a good one would have been incredibly embarrassing.

But they were alone again, and there was no need for that sort of an act. Not when it was just them, together in the trailer that they would share. It was interesting; much smaller on the outside than it was inside, but comfortable, only waiting for the decorative touch of those that would live in it. That would come with time. For the moment, there were only the basic things to tend to: putting away clothes, stashing books on shelves, making lists of things to procure.

She had hesitated over her own personal things, the ones that would find a place close to her bed. The bed itself gave her pause, and Nali found herself studying it with furrowed brows for a long few moments before speaking – probably somewhat abruptly, given that Ran couldn't read her mind. "You know, there is room for another bedroom... if it would be more comfortable for us to sleep separately?"

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onyxguard
2017-08-20 06:47 pm UTC (link)

"Is that what you would like?" There wasn't even a pause between her question and his quick snapped response. He managed to remain monotone, but there was an expression of absolute bottled anger waiting to break free. His dark eyes remaining pointedly on his wife's face as he stood across from her, no longer stooped over putting his own items away in is nightstand. Instead raised to his full height and his arms crossed as he tilted his head making him seem even more as if he were looking down at her. Not just looking down at her due to height, but as if he were back to feeling superior to her, a feat that was proving more difficult than it seemed.

Part of him felt broken because of her. Not just that she had been formed into a cage of flesh and bone to keep him, but because she'd managed to make him feel something he hadn't felt in a very long time. A connection with his Guardian which only irked him that his family may have been right about some disconnect. Luckily he'd been trained to keep a blank face on even when his emotions were running high and he used those skills now; less to keep Nali in the dark and more to block himself from the realization he simply wasn't ready to have.

On top of Nali, the change in his status as a bachelor, and now a gig at a circus - Ranveer was not ready to look in any mirrors. He needed time to just get accustomed to the new life he'd been shoved. "Do you think that creating separation so early will help us gain better connection?" He moved, a slow almost prowl-like- sway to his steps as he made his way to his bride. "If there is room enough for two beds, then there is room for one bed and a hammock for my son," Ranveer stated with only a small crack in the flat tone of his voice as his eyes fell from Nali's face to her stomach. For a moment it seemed he would allow himself to be gentle with her as he reached out without hesitation moved to rest his hand against her womb, his body being brought closer to her so he could more whisper against her hair, "a separate bed is unnecessary as long as you are not a disappointment as a wife."

With those words his hand moved from her stomach and he walked past her without further touching her. "There are boxes to be unpacked in the living area, you may finish our bedroom." Maybe it would be better for them to put together parts of their new home together while working apart. Everything she said seemed to violate his mood in one way or another - at least, she was easily blamed in his mind.

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protectress
2017-08-20 11:09 pm UTC (link)

"Of course not." Where his tone had been snappish, Nali's was smooth and soothing, as if the words had already been waiting there for him. She hadn't intended on just blurting the idea out; that had been poor planning on her part. But he had hardly seemed to be in the mood for idle chatter, and she had been thinking about the bed – and what other space in their trailer might be utilized, if he should want his privacy. She had always known that something like this would be her life; Ran still seemed so... unsettled.

"It was only an offer to make sure that you would be omfortable, husband. I would not want to crowd you." She didn't look away when he moved; her eyes barely moved from his, in fact. Still, she was aware of the easy prowl to his movements, aware of the space between them and how it shrank. The slight change in his voice resonated with her, sending warmth sliding through her limbs as he stepped close, his hand moving to rest low on her flat stomach. Her body was still attuned to his after the mostly-sleepless night before, responsive and alive at the feeling of his skin against hers, his voice low and close. Something in her purred and arched, and she leaned just a little into his touch, her eyes dropping half-closed.

His last statement, however, was like being doused with cold water. Her dark eyes slid open, but she controlled the rest of her reaction. A Guardian with an uncontrolled temper could be an exceptionally dangerous thing, and Nali had been trained to keep hers in check from the time that she was very, very small. No tantrums had ever been allowed, no knee-jerk responses had been acceptable. And they weren't now, despite the fact that Ranveer was the one person present who she knew could survive a swipe from her massive claws.

"...of course, Ranveer," she murmured after a moment, one where she swallowed the low growl that threatened to bubble up. "I can't imagine why I thought you might not want to sleep beside me."

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onyxguard
2017-08-20 11:36 pm UTC (link)

"I'm sorry," there was nothing apologetic in his tone as he spun around and walked the couple of feet back through the hall towards the door he'd just left. "Did you say something more, Nalini?" Truth was there had been a spark felt by something deeper in him, something that curled awake and wanted to feel the heat of its other half that rested in Nali. Ranveer simply didn't understand how to get there - how to be connected with her or the three entities that seemed to be leaving him out of their little love fest. It didn't occur to him that it was his own doing that was keeping himself disconnected from what he wanted most. Then, when you don't know what you want you can't very well make sure you can obtain those things.

How could he admit he wanted a wife; intelligent woman to be his partner? He'd lived freely and did as he chose when he wanted. Now that he was tied down things were off and he didn't want to admit he could be okay with it just being the two of them for the rest of their lives - how could he know that?! He had only lived so long and seen so many things. There was so much more to be done and see - yet all he could see was his wife standing there looking as if her hopes and dreams had been crushed again.

Something in him disliked that look while another part of him enjoyed it immensely. Assuming she felt the crushing reality he did, but actually showing it. That pleased him - the very human part of him that took joy in getting what he wanted by any means. "Is there more you would like to say?" He questioned as he stood in the door frame looking in her direction. Not allowing himself to move further, unsure he could keep himself from reaching out and doing more to her when he could taste the edge of anger and that magic that made him a Guardian fighting throughout him.

Of course he didn't think that he was a bad husband or that it was even a real question the way her being a good wife could be. Just as he didn't think about being crowded by her, because he knew he could leave their home at any time he wanted and do as he pleased. That was his right - period, as where she would need to let him know things before he chose to do anything - right? That was the unspoken rule...right?

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protectress
2017-08-21 12:16 am UTC (link)

Maybe she should have felt ashamed of the jab she had taken back at him, verbal though it was and despite the fact that her tone had been completely beyond reproach. And maybe she should have lowered her eyes and apologized right there and then, practiced the art of the submissive wife so well that it would have made both her parents proud. But his insult had been cruel, and the way that he had delivered it intentionally hurtful. He had pulled her in close and then shoved her away – he was lucky that she had as much practice as she did holding her temper. A lesser woman might have bitten him.

It was still sort of tempting.

Especially when he moved toward her again, his larger form moving back into the space she occupied. Nali didn't move, only turned to face him, her eyes ticking up to his. Large and dark and lovely, but with just the slightest bit of a narrowed look. Of course there was more that she wanted to say – how much of it she could talk herself into keeping behind her teeth was the real question. For a moment, frustration and hurt feelings threatened to sharpen both sides of her tongue.

In the end, though, Nali pursed her lips together and averted her eyes, taking another second before she spoke – quietly, and with restraint. "We are here together, whether or not I am a disappointment to you. My offer was genuine, not meant to insult you. It did, clearly." She should apologize – her mother would have told her to apologize. But the tigress within growled at the thought, a low rumble that rolled through her senses; the words turned to ash in her mouth.

Instead, the did what she could to gentle her tone a little further. "This is now how I would like us to begin, Ranveer. Perhaps you would have chosen something else, someone else, but couldn't we at least be friends?"

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onyxguard
2017-08-21 12:40 am UTC (link)

Nostrils flared as Nalini chose her words and delivered them with her trained balance. It bothered him that she could use her training against him, no. It bothered him that she had to use her training to deal with him. Why could he be pleasing to others, but be such a brute to the woman that did nothing more than what her parents expected of her? She held her head high, remained calm, and kept her dignity in tact even when he knowingly tried to bait her. Even at her last words, asking for friendship, he felt enraged.

Why as she allowed to feel so balanced in the face of intimate anger? It was one thing to remain calm in the face of danger and even the threat of death, but to be so masked with those you should be free to be yourself with? It only made him want to distrust her. If only the Guardian spirit within him shared his unease with her abilities instead of wanting to aspire to own that same strength of spirit. "You didn't insult me. You simply ruined the silence," which wasn't true and he looked away as if he were already waiting for his face to whir in the direction he looked with a slap - his mother would have slapped him. His tone was that of a boy ready to strike for no other reason than it being the only thing he could do than look at himself as the problem.

"No," he offered after a few seconds, "I didn't mean that and I didn't mean to imply that you are or could be a disappointment." He still wasn't looking to her, but he inhaled deeply and squared his shoulders with the audible exhale. Obviously trying to collect himself. "I wouldn't choose someone else, Nalini," he offered before finally looking back towards her, "I wouldn't have chosen at all." And that was the problem. He wanted to be single to live his life how he saw fit. It was easy being happy with his cultural obligations when he was free to ignore them and do as he pleased. For some reason he'd thought that could be his life forever.

He finally moved from the door frame and truly entered her personal space, his hands moving out to hold them palm up towards her, "I am the third of my siblings and maybe being the youngest gave me a need for freedom of all this that is hard to understand, but it's not you that angers me. It's the reminder that I'm not free in America to do as I choose - now I'm even chained to this place and must smile and be grateful for it." He wanted her hands in his own and if she gave them he would hold them delicately, rub at the backs of her fingers with his thumbs as he stared into her face, "why are you so okay with submitting to all of this? To me? You obviously deserve a better man."

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protectress
2017-08-21 01:32 am UTC (link)

He deserved to be slapped. Even as a woman, Nalini had never been spoken to so rudely or insulted so casually. The women in her family were strong and respected; they carried the bloodline forward. Even when her parents argued, she couldn't have imagined her father speaking to her mother in such a cold, disrespectful way. She would have slapped him. Instead of doing the same, Nali curled her fingers into her palms and lowered her eyes. She had to be patient; her parents had been together for years, she had no idea what their marriage had started like.

She could do that; she was reassuring herself that she could keep herself from reacting poorly, perhaps with teeth or claws, if he spoke to her like that again, when he continued. Her eyes ticked toward him, remaining lowered, watching just from the corners – a little suspicious, truth be told. He had seemed gentle before, after all. As for what he meant to do, Nali let the lie pass without challenging it – he had intended to do just what he did, but maybe just thinking better of it was enough for now. He was struggling with their situation, that was clear. Giving him a break was a kindness she could manage.

When he extended his hands, she paused only for a few seconds before laying hers in his open palms, easing closer until she could look up into his eyes. His unease made her want to comfort him, but there was no way she could offer that. Not at the moment, at least. "I suppose... that I see these things as blessings, rather than chains? I don't know what your life in America was like, but all I have known is family. Coming here seems like... such an adventure. To be able to travel, to see so much, and honor my family at the same time... it is a great gift to me. And you..." She took a deep breath, then raised up onto her toes in order to lean her forehead against his. "The gods put us together. I trust that. I will do what I can to make you happy, Ranveer, and if I can't..."

Nali had meant to offer him the opportunity for at least part of the life that he wanted, doing as he wished. But her more primal nature bristled at the thought. "...then I will at least try not to make you miserable," she finished instead. Clearly she would need to turn over the idea of what, exactly, would bring him some peace – and what she would be able to stomach.

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