Lucien let it all set in. Emerson has lost his whole family, while Lucien's were present, but not always there. He remember the way he had felt the first time he had heard those words 'I love you'. They had been what he had always wanted to hear, yes his nanny has said them but she was a slave and had to love him.
"I have never told anyone about..." He cleared his throat. "I guess on some level I am still embarrassed or something about it." Lucien looked up at Emerson. "When I came here I thought that you would be like my parents, ignore me and let me do whatever I wanted. While I had done that at home, there was a time when I was a good kid. I did what I was told and never talked back. Then I got a second tutor, but really the story starts when I was eleven." Lucien took a steadying breath.
"My father had given me a book to learn from when I was seven, but he never taught me. He left it up to the witch who was my nanny to look over me. She had never been formally trained so my magic was so so, not worthy of a Harper." he said bitterly. "So my father hired me a tutor. He was nice and older, almost like a grandfatherly type." He explained. "He taught me more magic in a year than I had taught myself in four years. I finally had someone to talk to, someone that cared about me. I felt like I was in love with him, then I turned twelve and he started to, well come on to me. I thought, 'Finally someone cared about me!' I was almost thirteenth when we had sex for the first time." He stopped for a moment, looking down at his lap and not at Emerson. "It hurt so much and I was so scared, but he told me he loved me." A tear fell from his eye and he scrubbed it away. "Finally someone had said it, and it felt so good to be the object of someone's affects, a year later he left. I didn't know what to feel, for a whole year I felt like someone loved me and then he was gone."