It was easy for Emerson to say, he didn't have that fucking train of mind drilled into his head since he could understand. Although he still didn't think slaves where beneath him, since one raised him. It was not easy to get into that mindset of a master, and a kid at that, at least to most people.
"I do get over, sometimes. That is why I drink to become numb and sleep around. They are my coping mechanism. I have been doing this for years. Kinda hard to change when it is what you are." He downed the rest of the drink and sat the glass down. "Was your dad ever proud of you?" he pulled his knees up and sat his chin on it. "He ever once just say, "I'm proud of you"?" Lucien asked. "That is all I ever wanted from my father. Just once to know that I was not a failure." He scrubbed away a tear that wanted to fall.
"But all I have got was, "Busy, Lucien." "Sorry can't watch." And lately. "What a disappoint you have become." But at least I got his attention, even if I was was drunk and stumbling in at three in the morning."