Sirius Black (sirius_or) wrote in chat_or, @ 2008-02-05 22:49:00 |
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"You and your ridiculously tiny bladder..." Sirius muttered practically to himself as James headed off to the bathroom. He turned to the shelf filled with self-sealing envelopes idly to wait.
"At least I don't have a ridiculously tiny brain." James complained, giving Sirius a minor glare. Making fun of his bladder again? "Hey, mate, pick up some never-dry pens for me, please." He yelled back, walking into the bathroom.
"Dunno who he could mean by that..." Sirius wondered through the store to find the pens James mentioned.
There came the sound of a young woman squealing. "Darling, look at these pens! They change colors depending on your emotions! I think we should buy two sets...no three..." She and the man in question were standing behind a rack of supplies across the store from Sirius.
Sirius glanced up for a moment at the sound of the woman's voice. It was almost as if he'd heard that voice before. But looking at her, he didn't think he knew her. Did he?
The brunette man beside her, seemingly in his late twenties sighed. "Dear, you need to stop buying pens. We already have what, a hundred?"
The woman with dark blonde hair pouted. "Fine...but it's only seventy-three." She said, crossing her arms. "Let's go, then." She turned to walk towards the door when she spotted Sirius. "Helloo!" She cried, running towards him and giving him a large hug.
Sirius froze on the spot when the blonde up and hugged him in the middle of the store. "Er...sorry. Do I know you?" He managed to say in his state of shock. He glanced from her to the man...they did look oddly familiar. Were they cousins or something? Sirius had so many...
She laughed a familiar, obnoxious, and slightly evil laugh, and then turned to the man, who looked incredibly embarrassed. "He's so silly! Dear, it has been so long..." She pinched Sirius' cheek, and shook her head. "Your mother...I swear, one day..."
Then it hit him. He would recognize that laugh anywhere. "Mrs. Potter?" Sirius asked the woman. James had mentioned youth potions...but that had to be one strong brew.
It was in that moment that James exited the restroom, and spotted the two. His eyes widened and he began to back up.
"Jamesy!" The woman shrieked, running to her son and giving him a choking hug. "Nigey, it's Jamesy! Sirius and I were just chatting, you know, dear..."
Sirius looked over at his best friend in a slight state of confusion mixed with shock. 'Wow' he mouthed to James as he too was attacked by his mother.
Nigel Potter looked around nervously, seriously considering escape. "Yes...it is James indeed..." He said awkwardly, adjusting his own glasses. "Gloria, you are crushing him..."
Gloria blinked, before noticing James's blue face. She released him immediately. "Oh, so I am. Just rather excited to see him. You got the pies, I suppose?"
"Yes, Mum. We got the pies." James said, giving Sirius a pained look.
"They were wonderful, as always, Mrs. Potter." Sirius tried to help out James a bit.
She gave him a very James-esque smirk. "I'm glad. So where are your other friends? Remus and Peeves?"
Apparently James's inability to remember names was inherited. "Peter." He corrected. "And they're busy today."
Gloria frowned. "What about Linda?" She asked, asking Sirius more than James.
Lin—oh, Evans. “She and James actually had a civil conversation the other day.” Sirius said with a little grin.
Gloria laughed again, still sounding oddly like her son. "Of course they did!"
Nigel gave James a thumbs-up while his wife wasn't looking.
James glanced at his dad and decided to change the topic. "Sirius can't believe you lost the pie contest, Mum." He said, hoping Sirius would back him up.
"Oh yeah. You go all the way to
"Rotten old buggers wouldn't know a pie if it hit them in the face." Gloria agreed bitterly, before noticing the time. "Jamesy, dear, we were just headed home for dinner--why don't you two join us?"
James turned to Sirius nervously. He wasn't as concerned about breaking the rules as he was that his parents would completely embarrass him.
Sirius looked at James and shrugged. If they said no they might have to make up some sort of explanation why not...and he didn't think James' mum would take any excuses.
That was a terrific deduction. "I'll send Albie a note if he has any complaints." She said, waving a hand. "Come on, Nigey! Let's show them the way..."
James considered running (just as his father had earlier), but knew that his mother's wrath was worse than the smell coming off Snivellus. "Right." He said, following his parents out of the shop. "C'mon, Sirius..."
"Albie?" Sirius said quietly as he followed the Potters out of the shop. "Didn't know your mum was on nickname terms with Dumbledore..."
"She's probably his upperclassman." James whispered to Sirius with a large frown. "I'm not sure that Dumbledore knows she's calling him 'Albie'..." His mother was currently humming as she walked towards an alley. His father was walking beside her, looking around anxiously.
"I love your mum." Sirius laughed, shaking his head. The woman was the good kind of crazy...unlike his own mother.
He couldn't help but smirk at his friend. "Yeah, my mum's all right. Much better than yours. Sorry, mate." He said, still smiling as he followed his parents down an alley.
"No apology necessary. It's just a given." Sirius rolled his eyes at the thought of his mother. "This certainly wasn’t how I thought the evening would go..."
"Come now, Jamesy!" Gloria called, stopping at an unusual wall with a single green brick among the red ones. "Oh, it's been so long since we had dinner as a family."
"We had dinner with him a few weeks ago, dear." Nigel said, looking uncomfortable.
James awkwardly approached the section of wall with the green brick and gave Sirius a glance that said he should do the same.
Sirius looked at all the Potters curiously but followed their lead. He stepped up beside James and waited.
Gloria pressed the brick to the green brick's left, and there was a flash of light. When the light faded, the Potters (plus Sirius) were in a different alley...with the same green brick.
"Godric's Hollow! Isn't it pretty? Sirius, have you been here before?" Gloria asked, running out into the street. People walked past her, giving her odd glances.
"Mum is so embarrassing..." James said, following her out of the alley with his father behind him.
"I've been to your house before, Mrs. Potter." Sirius answered before looking at James. Was his mum really getting that old and forgetful?
James clearly understood what Sirius was thinking, and gave him a large nod.
After all, his parents were old enough that they had to use a youth potion. They were older than dirt. They were older than MCGONAGALL.
Not to mention that his mother was skipping down the street. Luckily, his father had enough sense to look extremely embarrassed.
"Wonder what your mum is going to cook." Sirius mentioned in passing as they walked down the street. He really was hungry now that he thought about it.
"Whatever you want, darling!" Gloria called out to Sirius, although she was three yards ahead by now.
"Eyes in the back of her head." James explained casually. "Go on, tell her your favorite dish."
"More like ears in the back of her head." Sirius chuckled. "I don't know...I'm not a picky eater. Anything is good."
"Then pie it is! Should I make chicken pot pie? Meat and potato pie...?" She stopped walking so the boys could catch up.
"Gloria, perhaps we could have something other than pie?" Nigel suggested, paler than before.
"How about roast beef and potatoes?" The Potter matriarch asked Sirius.
"I love roast beef and potatoes." Sirius answered her. He could tell pie was the last thing Mr. Potter wanted.
"Splendid!" She said, giving him a huge smile as they arrived at a large, bright yellow mansion with a black fence and a large "P" on the gates.
A maid was dusting the path that led to the house. "Mrs. Potter!" She exclaimed, jumping nearly a foot. "I'll let you in..." She said nervously, opening the gate.
"Thank you, darling." Gloria said, twirling past the gate and towards the house.
James turned red with embarrassment.
Sirius nudged James with a smirk, slightly enjoying his friends' embarrassment. After all, his own family was ten times worse than James'. He loved being with the Potters.
Sirius nudged James with a smirk, slightly enjoying his friends' embarrassment. After all, his own family was ten times worse than James'. He loved being with the Potters.
"I'm going to go cook. You two can hang out or chill or whatever you kids call it." Gloria said, opening the door and walking through the intimidating entranceway, towards the kitchen.
Nigel followed her, giving James a pained look.
"Well, then. What shall we do, now that they're occupied?" James asked.
"No bloody idea." Sirius laughed. "Didn't think you'd be back home so soon, eh?"
James resisted the urge to be sarcastic. "Well, do you want to use the pool, or go to my room? I guess we have the theater too..."
"We might as well go 'hang or chill out' upstairs." Sirius gave James a clap on the back before starting toward the staircase.
"I told you, Mum grew up with the dinosaurs." James said, rolling his eyes as he followed Sirius upstairs to his room.
"The slang she knows is probably 'flinging the rock' or something."
Sirius laughed loudly at that. "Flinging the rock sounds like some sort of really horrible sexual reference." He glanced back down the stairs at James as he reached the landing.
"I know." He agreed, reaching the landing behind Sirius, and walking around his friend to lead the way towards his own room. "I regret saying it already. Wonder what they use in Harry's time." It was still bugging him.
"Who knows." Sirius said as he now followed James down the hall. "Haven't noticed them speaking much differently than the rest of us."
James sighed, reaching the white door to his room. He pushed it open, to reveal...a sparkling, clean room with dark red walls and a large bed in the corner. Books neatly lined three shelves, and the bed was made.
"Bloody hell...I didn't know you had carpet!" Sirius let out a whistle as he walked into what was usually a quite messed up bedroom.
He gave Sirius a large grin, and closed the door behind his friend. He waved his wand, and the mess appeared, leaving no exposed carpet. "Mum falls for it every time." His bed was still made, however, but he avoided mentioning that.
"Very nice, very nice." Sirius stepped over the various things now spread about the floor and made his way over to the bed, flopping down on top of it.
"Thank you. I'm a Marauder for a reason." James replied, running towards his bed and landing beside Sirius. "Look, there's still a stain on the ceiling from when that orange blew up."
"Oh yeah." Sirius said fondly, leaning back to look up at the stain. "I think I smelled like oranges for days after that..."
"So did I. Mum thought 'Lara' had orange perfume." He rolled his eyes. "She can't remember Lily's name."
"I noticed, mate." Sirius laughed. "Tell me, does she think you two are actually dating?"
"Yes." He said, ruffling his hair. "I didn't say anything though--Mum's insane. She sent her a pie." James added.
Sirius laughed at the mention of the pie. "How did Evans like the pie?"
He shrugged. "She won't tell me anything. You know that...but, knowing my mother's pies...I would say that Lily probably did."
"If she didn't, then I'd really have to make sure you two didn't get together. No woman can have a mother in law that makes brilliant pies and not appreciate them."
James gave him a large grin. He often worried about Sirius, because he never seemed to get along with Lily, but hearing just a little bit of approval..."I honestly can't think about anyone but Lily...if nothing else, at least I know now that somewhere deep inside she feels the same way."
"Or will sometime in the future." Sirius noted. "Keep forgetting that part."
"Well, it has to come from somewhere." James said, looking slightly annoyed. "Way to ruin the moment, Padfoot."
Sirius grinned proudly. "I do always try my best."
He rolled his eyes, but kept thinking. "Peter's going to have a bloody heart attack over it. He hates her."
"Yep, I know. Saw her glaring at her in the common room the other day. At least I hate her behind closed doors..." Sirius laughed, evilly.
"You sound like your mum when you laugh like that." James muttered. Why did Peter hate Lily so much? She was like an angel...
Sirius stopped immediately and just glared at James poutily. "That was not cool, mate."
"That laugh...was incredibly evil." James clarified. "That's why you should try to be nicer--otherwise, you sound like your mother."
"I do not sound like my mother..." He kept up the glare. Huge insult, after all. "My mother doesn't laugh."
He laughed, sounding a little like his own mother. "Yeah. That's true, mate. Very good point. You win. At least we don't look much like our mums." He tried not to laugh. "Like Snivellus does...remember the picture he dropped one year?" James made barfing noises.
"Oh gods, yes." Sirius scrunched up his face in disgust. "Good looks obviously don't run in his family..."
"Or species." James added with a smirk. "His father must have been pretty ugly--or stupid--to think his mother was a suitable mate."
"Can you imagine what his father looks like?" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Hideous, I'm sure."
"Well, he got the hair from his mother. And the grease, too, I'd think." James calculated.
"Must have to mop up their floors all the time." Sirius guessed.
He grinned at his friend. "They probably have a house-elf to clean it up. Or maybe the smell of potions hides their stench."
"You'd think they could make a potion or two to fix their hair issues, yeah? We all know they can do wonders..." Sirius ran a hand through his own well-groomed hair.
"You need potion for your hair?" James asked, eyebrows shooting up, almost into his own messy hair. "I've never had to use anything on mine..."
"I don't need potion, but I know what shampoo and conditioner are." Sirius rolled his eyes. "You've never had to use anything on yours because you like it to stick up in all different directions."
He patted down his hair a bit, and tried not to glare too much at his best friend. "Girls like messy hair." He explained. "Even Lily does."
"You really think so?" He asked mysteriously. He just loved messing with James' mind.
He nodded. "Yes." Then he narrowed his eyes. "They do, don't they?" He was being paranoid now. "Right? Sirius, they do, right?"
Sirius just grinned at his best friend, leaning back on the bed, arms behind his head. "Uh huh...."
"You..." James picked up a pillow and smacked him. "Don't mess with my head, Sirius! I know girls like messy hair!"
"Oi!" Sirius smacked the pillow away from his face. "But it's so much fun..."
"At least I have some sort of relationship with a girl! Even if it's in the future...you haven't dated a girl in months, Padfoot." He said, dropping the pillow on the floor.
"So?" Sirius shrugged. "I've chosen not to. There a problem with that?" He raised an eyebrow at him.
"The boys are going to start thinking you're fair game." He said, rolling his eyes. "You're usually such a ladies' man...how can you not like anyone, Padfoot? Four months, mate."
"What, you counting now?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Dunno, felt like taking a little break. Especially after the whole Emily Incident."
"You loved her that much?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. "Honestly, you used to move on within a day, mate. What happened to the 'Lady-Killer Sirius'?"
"No, I didn't love her. Not like that anyway." He added with a mutter. "The thing you're forgetting, however, is that the longer I don't date anyone...the more desirable that makes me."
He smirked. "With the boys or the girls?" He asked. He had a right to tease Sirius about romance--after all, he was always teased about Lily.
"The girls, idiot." Sirius took his turn to kick James as well as he could from his spot on the bed.
James dodged a little, but still managed to get a bit of his kick. "Ouch, mate. That one hurt." He complained. "Just making sure...you could always ask Harry. If Lily's going to give me a chance, Emily could give you one."
"I'm over her, mate. Not going to start anything again." Sirius shook his head. "Besides, Harry still doesn't know we know does he?"
"No, he doesn't." He said, wincing as if punched. "That is not going to be a fun conversation."
"Harry...I know I'm your father." Sirius said very dramatically. "Good luck with that."
"Psh. It would be even more dramatic." James said with a grin.
"Even more?" Sirius laughed. "I want to be there when this happens."
"I have a feeling it won't." He said, wrinkling his nose. "Wonder how he'd react to the fact that Lily hates me."
"I think he can already tell, mate. It's a bit obvious."
"You're lucky I dropped that pillow." James said, glaring at him again. "As weird as this is for us, it must be even worse for him, yeah? Meeting your old man...although it'd be more literal if it happened to me."
"Yeah, you're really not too old. Which I think would make it just as strange." Sirius stretched out on the bed more, head hanging off the edge. "I still want to know how they managed to get back in time..."
"Or why. Why would be nice." He added, thinking about it.
"That too. It just doesn't make any sense. Them appearing out of the blue and all." Sirius stretched to grab the quaffle lying nearby and toss it at James.
James caught it, fortunately, and tossed it back at his friend. "Yeah...I agree. But they won't tell us. Wouldn't want to ruin the future."
Sirius caught the ball. "Too bad we've already found out their big secret."
"Yeah, I know." He said sourly. "But none of them know that we know, right?"
"Not yet, anyway." He tossed the ball back at James. "Why, what are you thinking?"
"I'm not thinking anything. I'm just making sure...don't want to spill something to one of them by accident. It's better that they don't know."
"Ah, right. Good point, actually." Sirius nodded his agreement. "Did you notice the other day they had a meeting with Dumbledore after dinner?"
"They did?" James asked, as the quaffle hit him. He pushed it off his face. He had been thinking about Lily lately, and hadn't noticed. "When? Where?"
"After dinner a few nights ago. Dumbledore went off into that side room and they all slowly followed him." Sirius laughed when the ball hit James.
He tossed the ball back with more strength than usual. "Bloody hell, think Dumbledore knows that we know?"
Sirius just barely caught the ball without falling off the bed. "Oof. I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me if he suspects something."
James sighed, sitting up. "Why does he have to be so smart, anyway? I wonder...do you think my mum's really older than him?"
"Nah, I don't think she's older than Dumbledore...Dumbledore is pretty damn old." Sirius chuckled.
"So is Mum. Caught her without the potion a year ago..." James turned to Sirius, paler as he thought. "Let's just say that the potion was a wise decision."
"No kidding?" Sirius raised a curious eyebrow. "But your parents haven't always looked...as young as they look now." Sirius pointed out.
James nodded in agreement. "The past few years really got them. Dad turned a hundred." He said, his own eyebrows shooting up.
"I guess that could do it. I guess I can't really blame them. Who wants to get old and wrinkly anyway?"
"Not me." James said with a large grin. "And you don't either, since you intend to be a bachelor who travels the world..."
"Oh, and what a wonderful life I'll have." Sirius sighed dreamily. "I better get your parents' potion recipe."
"It works well, doesn't it? First time the maid saw them, she thought Mum had died and this was a ghost or something."
"She almost gave me a heart attack when she ran up to me in the store tonight. I barely recognized her."
He smirked. "How'd you know it was her?"
"Dunno. I just recognized her voice I guess. And the way she was acting....your mum is pretty distinct." Sirius chuckled.
James smirked. "She's crazy, isn't she? Sends a pie to everyone we know on the person's birthday--she rotates flavors so they don't get the same thing each year." He rolled his eyes. "Who *does* that?"
"Your mum!" Sirius laughed. "Obviously. Well I enjoy her yearly pies. People are crazy if they don't."
"Yeah, I agree with you there. Mum's pies are the best--I keep telling her she should open a shop to sell them, but she doesn't want to..."
"I bet she'd make a fortune. All of Godric's Hollow would be buying them."
"Mum wouldn't sell here." James said, sitting up on his bed. "She always said that if she did it, she'd open in Hogsmeade--that way, all the students could buy her pies. Plus, she's dying to meet Lily."