Zanne Chaos (emilie_burns) wrote in chaotic_library, @ 2007-06-08 20:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | comment backups |
Zanne's Fic Comments - Backup 2
ROY x RIZA
Tickled Pink
only top-level comments saved unless the resulting discussion merits saving publically and not just in a backup file
From: anonymous
This was so cool! /"Mmhmm. You're an alchemist." She opened her eyes as she curled her lips into a small, but wicked smile, looking at him. "I trust you're familiar with equivalent exchange."/
Riza at the end that was sweet! Poor, poor Roy.
Oh, I hope you do a follow-up! <333333333
*jaw drops*
Oh... my...
*is at a loss for words*
*snerk* Still as good as ever, my dear. And you say you can't write smut. :D
*fans self*
Whooo.
Where's that icebox I can crawl inside again...?
Oh dear. I do believe I just melted into a pool of goo. All your fault (but nobody us complaing AT ALL lol)
*pool of goo gives you a thumbs up sign*
HA! You should never mess around with Riza, Roy m'dear <3
That was steaming hot. Guh. I can't review properly.
*mops up brain from floor*
Wow. I'm glad I picked this one first o.o You captured Riza's personality perfectly, in my opinion, better than those stupid doujinshi ever did.
Admittedly, I don't read much het stuff, be it in the FMA fandom or otherwise. But this?
GWAAAAH.
That was HAWT. ♥♥♥ Superkudos!!
Ooo one of my favorite pairs, one of my favorite kinks, happy new years to me. Loved it. And that last line, killer. Hope to see that.
O.O ....
OO; I... uh... er... guh... nge... hm.
*drools*
[Translates as: OMG. Yay~ Loved it. <333 for you!]
"equivalent exchange"
SEQUAL!! NOW!!!
*just kidding, please dont kill meeee!*
Hahaha, but PHEW *wipes head with tissue* is it hot in here or WHAT?! Wow, that was hot.
<3 x infinity
-speechless-
O_O hottttttttt
^^ good job
*Meep* Lovely! Very descriptive and not at all stale sex! Excellent smut! ...Also, it occurs to me that I "know" you from Xel/Fi fandom ^^ Huzzah for familiar faces and excellent writers!
that was totally excellent! :D teh love, love, love love. equivalent exchange, ahahahaha, that was a totally cute line. man, roy's gonna be sorry he did that to riza. ;) hehehehhehheh!
*patpats zannechaos' plotbunnies* nice plotbunnies, niiiiiice. ^_____^
boy do I want your plot bunnies... xD
Gahh... nice job! I think I'll read this again tomorrow... *taps chin*
I'm supposed to be doing chores...but this is waaaay better! My room's so cold all the time, but your smut always seems to make it warmer, lol.
I hope that doesn't sound sick... :)
WOW.
You have left me speechless. <3
GOODNESS MERCY. X_X This is the first smut fic I've gone through without squirming and darting off. At the beginning, I just HAD to find out where the hell they were. The need to find out more clung me to this story. And your descriptions are detailed and capture the characters' POV (I adored Riza's, her sarcastic wit is a definite plus), something I look for in every fic. Nice job, overall. ^^
wow... very interesting. good job.
Yummmy.... I just showered and now I need to shower again.
Wow, it was really, really good.
Most, MOST excellent!
And it's my favorite FMA pairing which is always a bonus ;)
*grins ear to ear*
God I didn't realize until just now how much I actually miss Royai smut! This was mmmm... perfect yummy-hotness! And the characterization is, as always, perfect. Which some may say is unimportant in pwp. I disagree wholeheartedly. The sex is so much hotter when awesome characters like these are written correctly.
You get my thumbs up! ^_^
dfasglk tgja HABA SDfsdajtekraaaaaaaaa
And I'm not even straight.
niiiice. I especially love "their" viewpoint in the end. And the B5 references? Scary perfect! Thanks!
From: emilie_burns^_^ Thank you! And yeah... While I find more potential character-driven parallels between LotR and FMA, I find more plot-related parallels between B:5 and the military/political stuff in FMA. Although, Roy does remind me of Sheridan on some levels. And Riza with Delenn.
Not to mention, both shows had kickass uniforms. ^_^
From: malinearlol...not to mention that they're very similar uniforms ;) And now this is going tobotherintrigue me all day...
;____; Perfect. <3 I like that take on that theme. <3 <3
This reminded me of something Thomas Carlyle, a famous essayist and historian of the Victorian era, had said: " It is a mathematical fact that the casting of this pebble from my hand alters the centre of gravity of the universe."
Lovely story.
like it a lot!!! i didn't know anyone else but me watched Babylon 5!! wow *jk*
I'm not sure I see Riza as Delenn...I more see her as Ivanova. But great story.
Also, the Kielle thing caught my eye. I'd known her through comic ff for...gosh...7 or eight years. Google "Kielle worms" and that's my handiwork. *g* I didn't know she was active in FMA fic, though?
From: emilie_burnsDelenn is an extremely powerful woman, not someone to cross - and I don't mean in a political sense. She has a strong will. But she chooses to yield to Sheridan and follow and support him. That's what I'm seeing. ^_^
And no, Kielle wasn't. But writing this fic, she wound up heavily on my mind. I originally started out with a binary star imagery, and then things shifted while writing around Hughes' death, and I recalled what someone said in a comment about her in the day following, how when a star dies, the universe reels from the intensity of it. That led me to thinking about supernovas, and the formation of black holes... and then the ending quote that fell into place...
By the time I finished, she was weighing pretty heavily on my mind. I think that influenced elements in the story.
I want to try my hand sometime, somehow, at an actual TCP 'fic - I'm thinking kids, set in Austrailia - and have that actually dedicated to her. I just need a good and warm plot first. (Yeah, I'm back from the CFAN/comicfic days too.)
And thanks. ^_^
This fic was absolutely beautiful.
... and the B5 references were icing on the cake. A very soppy cake from me crying, but cake none the less. XD
WhattheHell, I missed this.
Beautiful work, this coming from someone who hasn't seen or heard of Babylon 5. ^^;
From: emilie_burnsHee! ♥ Thank you! And don't worry... The only real B:5ness to it is in the quotes, which fit so damn well. The stars and space allegories made it all the more fitting tostealborrow some of Delenn's lines. I was poking around for a title that fit, and I recalled something she said in the episode "A Distant Star":
"Then I will tell you a great secret, Captain. Perhaps the greatest of all time. The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station, and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are starstuff, we are the universe, made manifest, trying to figure itself out. As we have both learned, sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective."
And then it just clicked into place and I grabbed a few other quotes and boom. ^_^
Very lovely :)
I'm going to need a new keyboard; seeing as I've drooled all over mine and am currently a puddle. Very well done. <333333
From: dirntcooljoe*concurs*
Very well done! Now I need to go clean the drool up off my desk.
Wow. Good smut.
omg that is sooo hot @____@
really yummy ♥
I am a pile of goo. PART TWO PLEASE! *melts* Need... more... SMUT!
I read this earlier today, and I loved it. XD;; Poor Roy... although you should be thankful that you got to prove Riza wrong, in my opinion.And you say you can't write smut, woman!?
^_^ Loved it. *mems*
Incredible, just incredible. Will you marry me ;_;
So like, I've never even watched Full Metal Alchemist (though I am very aware of it) but I plan to write a sexy fic for my 30Romances, so I read this. I totally get what you mean about being worried about it, I'm terrified I'll get slated for smut, but this has inspired me to go for it, so awesome job.
Also, I'm personally happy you didn't do full blown pr0n :P I think it stands well as it is.
This is the best smut I have yet to read. Great job.
Wow, that was beautiful! The sex was gorgeous and so beautifully descibed and it flowed sooo well! Job well done, m'dear!
...and I agree with you. Smut is hard to write. ^.~
omg. i can't even use caps because my brain is dead from this fic. dead in a very, very, very good way. *wipes herself off the keyboard*
hot damn.
Aaaaaah! Poor Riza! She's losing it! Roy, you mean cow! *shlap* Aaah, that's a nice fic, Riza's turn please, part two! =P
this was so wonderful. Riza finds herself in a wonderful position in this one. Roy 'punishes' illy chosen words in great ways, doesn't he?
Nice one. :)
very hot. very nice work. i like how you pulled in lots of fire imagery for her reactions - v. appropriate given roy's [other] talents.
also really liked that you kept this believable - they are both such commanding personalities, both fairly aggressive and no nonsense - so all of a sudden having one or both of them dissolve into complete sap and/or submission throws me out of the story. really appreciate how you were able to write /both/ of them honestly - their 'softer sides' are still very much in keeping with who they are.
Okay...where do I start?
This has got to be one of my favorite fics. I think what I like best is that it feels real. Not just that it feels it could happen to these two characters, but it feels like it could happen, period, if that makes sense. Just little details like Roy's corny joke and Riza rolling her eyes and comparing Roy to a child. And I always admire people who can keep their erotica lyrical and elegant without going over the line into purple prose. Once again, I really enjoyed this. Thank you for writing and sharing it.
You know, you found all the right words in this story, and I can't find any to tell you how much I liked it. Language has completely deserted me. This is the kind of story that, were it a picture in a store, I would pick it up and cradle it against my chest and carry it to the cash register where I would quietly pay for it and take it home to hang it up on my favorite piece of wall.
(And it's very, very poignant on a personal level, too.)
alfjslfjal;sjf;alsd ;_; *wibble* ♥
Good stuff. So where's the next bit?
I like Riza being angry and angry at herself for being angry, and of course Mustang is utterly oblivious to all that.
So there's going to be a longer arc? Wonderful! I've written something (soon to be posted) that takes place in the same time period, but goes very differently. But I had wondered how the story would have gone if my own plot had been different than it was , and I have a feeling you're going to write that story.
So I'm eager to read the other stories in this arc. Yay!
Aww... So sad! :(
this is very well done. I want to see what happens next (and after that).
i liked it very much , i want to know what comes next ^^ !!! it was so sad and so true ( can't wait until riza snap the truth to him ) .. you have a way with words that is really beautiful congratulations !!!
This is a wonderful version of the moments after the movie. Riza's anger and her attempts to talk herself out of it are very true to her character, as Mustang's obliviousness and assumption of command are to his. I look forward to more.
I very much enjoyed this, puts to words how I think she really feels
I can't see Riza being so cynical and bitter, as you've written her to be. For some reason, I'd imagine (anime)Riza either to tell her opinions straight or then not to be able to make any own opinions. Even after what happened in the movie. (Well, how many lines did she have there anyway... Two?)
But still, I adore your writing style. Really skilled. And also that you do have so many ideas and you have the energy to write that everything. But anyways, I'm very curious about how your fic will continue. :&rt;
From: emilie_burnsLife has a funny way of doing that to someone, especially once the fatigue of too much of everything catch up, and finding yourself in a state of conflict with a role you're used to playing. (You might be surprised how many mothers end up feeling like that when their own personal needs conflict with taking care of the family and they feel guilty for doing anything for themselves and feel bitter as a result.)
But ah well. Nobody ever sees or hears something the exact same way as another person might. ^_^ I'm glad you enjoyed this first part nevertheless.
From: the-sunriHah, my mother is one of those persons and now she seems to be completely insane with her actions. Still, I can't see Riza being one of these persons. :P (Though I think that the anime's plot is kind of unlogical, too. And Riza's characterization. If it would be changed a little, then I could perhaps understand your view of her in this fic.)
It's wonderful that people do have different kind of opinions, right?
Oh, I am so greedy and grasping when it comes to great stories featuring Riza-- I want mroe immediately! And I love the hard-edge you've given her, since romantic disappointment is one of those things that are so rarely written well or explored as subtly as it is in this story. I look forward to more soon!
lovely
Man! I love this. I like the words you chose and everything. This is how (I think) Hawkeye is supposed to act/be. Especially after the movie. I really wanna read the next part.
You're a great writer.
Ohhh! The awesome! ♥ (especially for the distance between what Riza says and what she thinks...and just the sheer angst ♥)
Just hit him already, Riza. You know you want to. Hell, I want to.
Really nice job. Roy seems kind of oblivious I guess. Idiot. Is this all going to be Riza's POV or some in Roy's POV as well?
Great story! I actually only find it realistic that Riza would be so bitter inside. I only imagine her pain after sacrificing so much for him all along. I hated the movie for discarding such an important thing as Royai! I am looking forward to reading more of it!
If you could just send me the links;)
A very good Roy/Riza Fanfic!! I liked it alot!
Interesting, plus it's very well written.
SWEET!!!!!!!!
I'm being a pokey puppy and just got to this. I loved it, as always.
D:
;______________________________;
*whimpers* Ouch. But I love it. Thanks for posting, and I'd love to see the next part.
;_____________;
I've been enjoying this story so far, and I've added both part to memories. :3 Can't wait to see more.
*sniffles* I was close to tears reading this. Oh, poor Hawkeye~
This is the best post-movie story I've read, and the most reasonable and fitting one at that, given how Riza was left hanging at the end of it. Absolute beauty. Can't wait to read the next part. ^^
::sigh:: Why does love always have to be so damn hard? I was getting all teary eyed reading just this bit and I'm sure that later installments will have me garnishing my coffee with tears. Why are you such a knuckle-head Roy? He better go after his woman, ASAP!
Ow ow ow. ;_______________________; Damn, awesome writing and painful. Owwwwww... ;_;
Poor Riza - that anger at someone else for not loving you back is hard to live with. I hope she's wrong about that, though. It's sad to think that she can't take pleasure in having the group back together again because she is still hurt by Roy abandoning them all.
I'm interested in knowing how much of this Breda has figured out.
She really needs to let out that anger she keeps. And wow. I'm out of tissues. That's so good. The angst. How she mentions he did fine for a year with out him. That just makes me sad. T_T I need...tissues....
PS: Want more. Cant wait. Oh God. Here come. Teh tears.
The first one was like a painting I wanted to buy. This one is like some kind of cold and slightly bittersweet liquid I want to drink. (This makes absolutely no sense but that's what you get for writing such delicious fic and then letting a girl who's high on OTC cold medication give you feedback on it.)
Some part of me thinks you must have been through this yourself. It certainly feels very much like when I did.
Lovely. I really want to know what happens next.
Thanks so much for this.
D: Poor Hawkeye..
I would love to know what happens next.
so sad T.T !!! poor riza .. i really wanna see what happens next ^^
*is dead*
I love Riza's thoughts in this...and the way she presents to Roy her request for transfer -- awesome. Especially how you describe Roy signing her transfer request: lovely, lovely writing! ♥
nicccccccccccccccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeee
I think Roy gets what he deserves and she should built up her life for herself. He should be the one going after her. I love the turn of events in your story so far. I am looking forward for more!
the raw emotions in this were simply wonderful
"She's a cheeky one. All sales final, just so you know."
::snerks::
I absolutely love this! This is right up there among my favorites of the fics you've done. ^_^!
XD!! Oh my GOD. That is about the best way to end this, I am DEAD SERIOUS. I was cracking up for the whole last half of that!
The metaphores! The metaphores! Those made me smile so much. As always, amazing job.
*goes off and sighs dreamly*
what a perfect way to start the day! amazing, well done!
Drex
*swoons*
Oh god! I'm late for work because I couldn't leave without finishing it. It is amazingly great! The story is great, but the writing style, and the lines! Waow! You are very good. Can you send me a link to your other fanfics?
This is a grat talent you have, and I'm glad you use it on Royai, but please send your stories to Arakawa, she might need lessons!¨_¨
-
I also forgot to mention that I loved the subtlety of the metaphore on chess. This would be loved by Arakawa, too and shows to what extent this fanfic is closer to the original story style than many others I've read so far. That, and the fact that it makes the anime and movie ending so good by clarifying it. Ok, I stop with praises and get back to work!
You managed to surprise me happily, after all. How I love it, when life (and love) is not so serious. :D
You have a really strong view of the characters and your very own style with fiction, you use a lot of effort with the metaphoras. :O My English is still so poor that I kind of skipped the longer parts, but those who understand the language better sure enjoy them. ... I think I must reread this fic later.
Thanks. ♥
Love it.
It was not the ending I expected, but, it was a wonderful nonetheless..I only wish the Manga could work out like this....
Great job, I look forward to the next time to post. :D
What a lovely ending to this three-part arc. The entire conversation about the "chess piece" was wonderfully done. I also found Riza's interior debate about whether she should surrender to Mustang's legendary charm to be very true to life.
I meant to comment on this last night, but my internet stopped working. XD;
Added this one to memories too, of course. ♥ I love this one. It's probably my favourite piece of Roy/Riza fanfiction that I've read. Especially the outside-the-lines chess piece discussion that isn't really about chess pieces. I bet if someone not in the conversation walked in, they would think it's just a normal chess piece discussion, but at the same time kind of strange.. XD But it's so them.
Lovely ending. ♥
Such a lovely way to end it.
Really, if they were to make another sequeal to the movie with this storyline of yours, it would surely make all Royai fans rejoice. Even then, I'd just bet it wouldn't do it enough justice because your style of writing is uberly awesome!!
Me loves~~ *Memories* ^^
Part of me isn't sure how I feel about the superangst Riza, but then again, reading this chapter has made me sure that you've got her character down. I like how things aren't just all suddenly okay when Roy says 'I love you.' I like how things aren't happily ever after. A good place to end the fic, and a beautiful story altogether. Excellent work. :]
I really enjoyed this series. I've forgot to comment on the last installment, but I really liked how in "The Price That We Paid" Riza was miserable and then did something about it to try to make herself feel better. Admittadly, it wasn't the 'something' that would truly make her happy, but she tried. I like it when Riza isn't just a martyr who suffers.
I loved the chess-piece conversations. It was impressive that you were able to keep that metaphor going for as long as you did without it ever feeling forced, like it was utterly obvious they weren't talking about chess, or getting stale. Reading that section, I almost cried.
Also, I just loved General Grumam. I mean, loved. He was brillant, and just the right dose of humor after the previous angst.
"What do you mean, 'try'? Put some work into it, boy and get it done. Hee! This cracked me up so much, and is exactly what people should tell Roy more.
*warm and fuzzy*
ssswwweeettt!!! I absolutely loved this chapter!terrific ! You know some of the fanfics I've read like this one sound like they would go good with carrie underwood's song Some Hearts.
The conversation about "chess"? Pure brilliance. And General Graman at the end was just ♥...as was this whole piece! ^___^
uh,....like this fic..is pretty deep I Mean it! And stylishly cool. keep it up!please!!!!!
this fic is really cool
I enjoyed reading this. There's something so honest and pure about the way you've written this.
Ahhh, for once a fic where we can see how Roy thinks and how beautiful and fluid he and Riza are together. Good job!
I was going to try to think up a meaningful comment -- I was sort of succeeding while I was reading: your writing is so straightforward, clear, true -- but your ending took all my adjectives away.
(In a good way.)
Looking forward to more of your writing. ^^
It's really good, I really enjoyed it.
Excellent. ^__^
*sigh* I came across this community via a Bleach community site and boy am I ever glad!
It is so rare to find a non-slash FMA fic that once found, I'm grateful, no matter how good or bad it is. But to find a FMA fic so well done, respectful of the show's tone and premise and, finally, characters written in character... well... finding one is like finding gold in a river. I can *see* Roy and Riza acting exactly like this. As another person commented, there is something honest and pure about the way you've written this. Simple yet evocative.
And that last line... beautiful.
Thank you for writing this and I look forward to reading more from you.
-BRG
Wonderful. I can't explain it... it just seemed so them. Kudos.
gorgeous. and so delightfully IC, a rarity in most royai fics. 5 stars! XD
That is so sweet. I love how you put in that deep meaning of faith and its opposite into it, it's just so pretty. So terribly IC that I could cry ^^, well done!
nyoh!! I like I like it!!! ^0^
OMG! that was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice! :D *squeals in giddy delight* nice, nice, nice! their characters were spot on, and the whole conversation was very, very cool. :D like galuxkitty said, it seemed so them. ;)
there is nothing intangible or lacking in rationale in that. it cannot be called faith if it's not a blind step into the unknown. it is something certain, something solid. something real and provable. i trust you, sir. i believe in you and your goals. those things surpass mere faith.
this was my favorite line. :D NICE!
Beautiful! Very IC indeed, you nailed it! Great job! ^_^
wow.... NICE JOB! KEEP UP THE NICE STORIES~!!!
That was abolsutely gorgeous. ♥
This is so cute and awesome. Seriously. Winry has such a fun take on things, and she completely nailed Ed there, with the way he works, and his family being what he is. ♥ This is lovely, hon. :3 Adding to mems.
Beautifull. I love Winry's caring tone and her description of Ed devoted to his family. Wonderfull!
::brain go fizzle::
Oh, Zanne.
♥
You know, I was never a big fan of this pairing, but you brought them together beautifully and believably. Their shared love for Mustang, their shared guilt over his death...this was absolutely gorgeous. Your choice of words, the perspectives in this...I just love it. Wonderful job. :]
;_; ♥ slkfjallsjfa ow. ♥ ♥ That is too damn sweet and hurty and OW.
huh. i never liked this pairing either, but this was actually very excellent! it was extremely well written and i like how roy was the one who brought them ultimately together. plausible and well done (well paced, written, in character, three thumbs up), i offer you tea and cookies. *nodnod*
Oh ouch. OUCH. Zaaaaaaaaaaaaanne. ;_; You made me cry with this one.
*finally comments!*
;_; OUCH. This hurt. A lot. I think this is the only time I've actually enjoyed Roy/Ed references in anything. I also think Riza broke my heart a little. ♥
Loved it. ^_^
Zanne, you cut me deeply with that fic. That is to say, you wrote it very well, and therefore it was able to slice to my heart. (Damn funerals anyway.)
Well done.
Wow. Just wow.
Makes me think about just how tangled loyalty and love are in the series. And how ultimately angsty it is.
Just wow.
That...was made of pure amazing. If I weren't so shocked, I'd be crying right now, honestly. While the thought of EdRiza never really occured to me, this was just pulled off perfectly. Possibly one of the most believable things I've ever read. Not to mention, I already love RoyEd, and while I don't see them together I can very easily see one-sided RoyRiza(manga or anime, it's too obvious to deny).
I absolutely love how they came together over his death; if anything, it's the most likely way it would happen. The beginning was heart-wrenching, the entire scene at the cafe nearly killed me...and the inn, well. I must say, you made it happen suddenly without it coming out of left field at all, and that's very, very hard to do.
I do believe it's meme time.
I cried. I can't think of higher praise right at the moment, except to say thank you.
-Rantza
This was painful to read, yet believable, because you made their emotions so palpable. Riza's awareness of the gun in her pocket, an adult Ed taking care of her like a gentleman, each of them worried for the other yet at the same time envious of what the other had with Roy - it was a jumble of emotions that rang very true because it was so jumbled. I think that my favorite little detail was right in the beginning, when Ed is peeved that Riza is still at the grave site and not giving him a turn. We would all like to think that we will be noble during the profound moments in our lives, yet we are all too human, and that kind of pettiness is too close to the surface. That made your story very real to me. Just a beautiful piece.
Good Lord; everything about this is amazing. I thank you very much for curing my unfortunately short attention span, even if only for this brief period. <333 This whole thing is so worth reading, and just... love. There is definite love. It goes past a typical 'sex after funeral' angst scenario, and is genuinely them; Ed and Riza.
I feel so bad... something felt real about the death in this fic even when it wasn't very much elaborated upon... there must have been something skillfully worded about lowering the coffin or some such that had me from the beginning.
Lovely.
Yeah... You know, I find the dynamic between Hawkeye and Mustang to be almost painful in how one sided it is. (especially in the movie, wtf) It's nice to see that thread of resentment in her thinking, and I'm glad Ed said the things he did to her, because she deserves better. And it's nice to see her starting to heal.
Really, really liked this. You pull the metaphors all the way through.
And for some reason, "Remember how to breathe on your own again." just hit bang at the base of my spine.
I'm a little more conversant with this fandom then with other anime... So that helps. But this feels like what I see on screen.
Well, I suppose you would be surprised to get a review for this fic several months after having put it online(and I suppose my awfull english should be a pain to read too ^^; ), but I feel the urge to said how much I've loved this masterpiece.
Your characterisation of Riza is just AWESOME!
I'm a bittired by the pseudo feminism I've seen with some fans who claims that if a woman shows some weakness or is in love with a man, she is a tool of the patriarchy...but I hate as much all the OOCness I've seen with strong woman transformed into carbon copy of pseudo-romantic novel's heroine in some fics.
I think that you have find the perfect balance with Riza in this story. She was in love with Roy but don't forget her duty and her responsabilties, and she still don't forget them even in front of his grave. She suffer from the death of the ones she loved to the point of pondering suicide, but she stills responsable and care for Ed's pain.
You have portrayed a very human and touching Riza, and with your writings skills, it was impossible for your reader to don't empathize with her.
Your characterisation of Ed? Well, I don't find accurate words to explain how much it was PERFECT. I'm not a fan of the Roy/Ed pairing(not trully a squick, just that I haven't read a good fic with those two yet)but I loved how you have deals with Ed's feelings toward Mustang, especially the way he is in denial with his feelings with himself and in front of the others.
Ed's reactions with Riza and the reasons which push him to avoid his brother for now?Perfectly accurate.
And like in A pale Kind of jewel(the fic which have converted me to my FMA OTP by the way), I love how much your Ed is possessive and sweet in the same time, and I love how much he is far to be the perfect boyfriend in this story, you don't forget his flaws and it mades him more lovable.
The writing style was great, there is not a single words which should have work better that the ones you had chose to paint your character's feelings and built the ambiance.
Well, I suppose that I could find plenty of other qualities in this story but you should be a bit tired to listening me lickings your boots with an aproximative english, isn't it?^__^;
The only bad thing with this fic?It gaves me a plunny for my OTP in another fandom...I've enough plunnies to handle for months(years?, I didn't need another one,dammit!
But hey, you should hate the damn plunnies, not the awesome writer who gives them to you.^^
Keep up the good work with your awesome stories.
These are absolutely gorgeous. I adore this couple so much. *__________*
I love it when I get a new batch of zannechaos fic to read! I really like how well Ed and Riza seem to know each other, and how you emphasize their similarities- this is a pairing where it's the similarities that would make them attractive to each other, not the differences.
I've noticed, though, that you tend to write Ed/Riza more comedic and happily-ever-after than you do Roy/Riza– is that on purpose?
I greatly enjoyed "Liturgy of the Hours," because the imagery is so spot on, and so apropos, so, so tragic. It makes me want to weep for Riza, because she deserves joy in her life and I was glad I had this to end on an up note. Do you think that Ed and Riza is more likely to be happy than Riza and Roy, or are you just telling different parts of their story, if that makes sense? Like you'll tell the end of the Ed/Riza but the painful middle of Roy/Riza?
Anyway, I greatly enjoyed reading this and love how you continue the metaphor of Edward as the sun in multiple fics- it give me a nice ‘inside joke’ feel, plus it’s very apt.
From: emilie_burnsI've noticed, though, that you tend to write Ed/Riza more comedic and happily-ever-after than you do Roy/Riza– is that on purpose?
... no? :D;;; I love me some good RoyxRiza fluff, I really do. But due to the nature of the situations and circumstances and the dynamics and the truckload of issues both of them have, including with each other and everything else, they're harder to fluff. Some lighter stuff with them that I've done include 'Useless', 'Kiss in a Shadow', 'Crocus Angustifolius', 'Within Reach', 'Clean', 'Tickled Pink', 'A Merry War', 'Luck', 'Maybe, Maybe Not', and 'Promises' holds... well, a promise of something more uplifting. The circumstances they're in makes it difficult to be fluffy.
EdxRiza can be just as painfully angsty - I just haven't written it 'cept in plotting notes for longer 'fics (including one that likens them to King Arthur's court, or perhaps to 'Casablanca', with Riza caught between them, and unable and unwilling to hurt either) or for an LJ RP I'm in. I'm actually already plotting an expansion of the sentence from the 'hell' theme up there, for one of the 21_Hearts themes. The dynamics and situations between Ed and Riza are different, so there's a different layer of freedom there not present in RoyxRiza.
'Liturgy' was just prompted by 'The Work at Hand', since the comparison to religious service crept into that fic and I realized I had something I could expand on there. (And honestly, there isn't much room for fluff in a theme called 'the smell of hospitals in winter', which I actually wrote back in November but never proofed and typed up from my notebook until recently. XD;;)
From: redbrunjaYes, their truckload of issues is probably one reason I'm so attracted to them- all my OTP have an element of 'it's not just our circumstances holding us apart, it's our very nature,' but when it gets to the point that I have more happy stories for Scar/Lust than I do for Riza/Roy..... I need some well written fluff. (And then, like manna from heaven, it drops right into my lap.)
These are all so lovely!! My favorites were #12, #48, and #49. Wonderful work!
Mmmmm, I like these too. ^_^ Standouts were Sky, Innocence (I loved that one... seemed so poetic and well-constructed, yup), Sensual (That one was... guh *_*) and Hands (yeh, OK, I have a bizarre fetish for hands in fics, especially Ed's metal one or Roy's when they're gloved).
Excellent job! ♥
^_^! I remember reading the first part of this back in November. It looks great!
::is mostly full of unhelpful squeeage:: Plus snickering at Ed's unfortunate wording. XD
I really like it. It's very sweet and poignant. I don't think I'm really an Ed/Riza shipper (didn't really feel it when I watched it all), but you did make me believe it. :)
From: emilie_burnsThere's really no context or basis for Ed/Riza in the series, honestly. But it's a pairing that could still work if circumstances made room for it (like going the alternate timeline route so he's not stranded on Earth, etc.) because of their personalities. Ed and Roy do have a lot in common, and those are traits I can see Riza being drawn to. But they're also very, very different. You might be able to see some of what I can see in another fic, 'The Work at Hand'. And as far as Ed goes... he is older than his years in a lot of ways. And Riza not only has the maturity but the life experience in the darker aspects as well, like with her time in Ishbal. She too has killed, so she can understand some of where Ed's coming from better than Winry could. And the best way to Ed is through Al, and she was always very kind and gentle with him in the series. It's only a ten year age gap, and Ed's lived a lot more in his teenage years than most people do in a lifetime.
I do think they have the potential to be a very sweet and adorable pairing, and I'm really glad you enjoyed this. ♥
I snuck onto LJ and read this at work. It was worth it. I like the way you handled the relationships in this fic. ^_^
Very very sweet ^_^ I think I like 'slice of life' fics better than any other sort.
*would say more, but is ded from work* ♥
Wow.
Part of me can't help but wonder if you've been listening in on my and my husband's conversations, that's how real it seemed.
Nicely done.
Ed is special. He's got uncountable love for those he holds close to him and everyone has a different type.
I love the way you've expressed how Ed works like that and I absolutely adore his little speeches to Riza about what she means to him. I also feel sorry for him, because despite his articulation of the point, she still doesn't quite get it.
I really enjoyed this. It interests me to see them pick up the pieces of their lives, and try to make a new one together. Riza's so confident in her professional life, that it is sad to see that she has so many doubts in her private life.
Oh god, I loved this fic when you were first writing it back in November, and I love it now. *_* I agree that this sounds like a natural conversation, and I love the way you illustrated how endlessly and deeply Ed cares for his loved ones. Al is Ed's air and gravity, but the others are just as important, and have just as much of a place inside his heart as anyone else.
So much love for this.
Oh, this is so beautiful! I really like your concept of Ed, and the way he manages to care so strongly for many different people at once, and how that can be trying for him.
And I really like that Riza is so insecure about it, but totally accepting at the same time. It's just like her.
... my gods. It's so gorgeous... So... utterly... beautiful... *paws at ficcage*
Nnnnnnnnnng. Mmf. *______________* God, the emotion and the aaaaadasldkfjas;dlkfa. This is gorgeous. GORGEOUS I SAY. And you get nervous about Ed's characterization. Fah! Fah I tell you!
The gen-whore and the Ed/Riza-whore in me are combatting over which part I liked best, so I'm going to say that I just loved every tiny single bit of it the best, 'cause five outta five voices agree. :D ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
*sobswibblescannotthink*
....damn....this was incredible. Never, ever thought of EdxRiza. And then, to do to Mustang what you did....wowowowowow.
Kudos! And I hope you didn't kill that plot bunny *too* dead....this might require a sequal!
(please?)
...wow, that's so wrong. You managed to redeem the gawdawful writing that was Angelus, in a SERIOUS send up :OO And gah, but the Ed/Hawkeye was so beautiful ;_; I think I might die XD
*sputters incoherently*
That was... Wonderful! And I am so useless at making long detailed comments. XD
*_____*
Guh.. wow.
That was simply amazing! This was powerful, and sweet, and just.. wow. Not enough words, or none that I can think of right now..
:D
Wow. I don't even ship this pairing and I loved this story. Very nicely written! ^ ^ *hugs fic*
Need more EdXRiza...*brain bleed*
I love Edward's lack of control during sex. He's such a virgin. XD Rofl, and I believe you captured his confusion well. His characterization was sweet and possessive at the same time, which is so Ed-like! You also did good with covering Ed and Alphonse's relationship, something I also don't see much of when Edward is paired with someone else. Alphonse typically gets left behind or forgotten. Glad to see you remembered him, because I can't see Edward forgetting his younger brother even when he falls in love. Wonderful Job. I've adored the pairing ever since HouseOfSmex and there just hasn't been enough of it until then.
I wish I could have seen that doujinshi, because this fic was awesome <3 However I can't wait to read more Ed!Riza fics from you. XD Much love!
Loved the story. I really like this pairing though I don't know why. XD;;
You did a wonderful job. I enjoyed reading it and I can see how could add more to it, if you want to give into the plot bunny again.
*snerk* Al needs to translate for Riza for a while, I think.
I liked this, a lot. I love Al XD;; He's so sweet, but in the same instance he can be quite the cheeky little thing. And I also loved Ed in this; he is like that. Rough-cut in his compliments, but you can't judge a leopard by its spots. And I can certainly see Riza acting like that towards compliments; people so often see her formally and very rarely out of uniform at special occasions, and I think a comment like that wuld throw her a little. ^_^
Loved it. ♥
Simply wow! Much love!
Oh goodness, that was VERY cute.
You know the chracters very well. Great job.
I like the way you ended this. Glad you worked something out.
Very good! Love the ending especially.
Hey, I'm always willing to share the rogue bunnies, you know. :D I let them run wild, free, breeding like, well, rabbits.
Getting back on track... this was absolutely gorgeous *_* Stunning. This one has a certain trust and familiarity to it, when compared to what I write... XD;; I've never yet written them in a developed relationship, and when I do I hope to be as good at it as you were here. This was gorgeous; the trust and the acceptance and the confidence. I especially love the last thing Edward said to her, definitely; the epitome of the Ed/Riza relationship, especially in the mangaverse. At least in my opinion. :3
♥ I love it. A lot. Just... wow. *_* -hugs-
Mmmmm... *_* ::squirms in her seat:: Hot hot Ed/Riza fic that touches on the trust issues and the sheer... Edness of what he said (and that whole thing with the bed mattress...) just... mmm. Hot damn, I am meming this. Liekwhoa.
Beautiful!
Very nice. I love when alchemists use the bed as raw materials during sex.
What does one feed plot bunnies anyway? Completed stories? Or can they survive on half completed works?
I really like the line "There's nothing between us." for some reason. I may have read it differently than you wrote. I don't know. I guess reading her thoughts that the tattoo and scars would come between them and then having him say it didn't made it work for me. Did I make any sense?
This was a wonderful little drabble. Yay for uncommon pairings and writing with feeling and content!
-Kymba
You know, until I started reading your Riza/Ed fics, I didn't realize how complementary their issues are.
Which is to say, what a nice (hot hot hot!) fic that was.
"But her heart wasn't completely free to give, without reservation or exceptions, to anyone, and the tattoo made that a tangible reality."
This line really describes Riza to me; I like how you never lessen the important of Mustang in Riza's life, and she's never completely footloose and fancy free. Her duties are such a part of her, and I love how you never forget that.
I mentioned above this above, but it bears repeating: I love how your Ed and Riza mirror and balance each other. They're alike enough that they'd understand each other, but different enough that it isn't boring. I can totally believe that they could be in a successful relationship with each other.
..well, damn, hot.
im not even a rizaxed shipper, but this.. this edward of yours. he is too ed, and.. he is.. how should i put it .. yummily MANLY.
and the tattoo thing, the lines edward says to riza about the issue while they are making sex, oh god.
thank you!
Gosh, this was beautiful. I haven't read much of the two of them together, but this story is a powerful argument for the pairing.