|The Pen is Mightier! (penismightier) wrote in chaotic_library,|
@ 2010-02-08 14:21:00
|Current music:||Sarah McLachlan - Perfect Girl|
[Edward Elric/Alfons Heiderich; PG] Every Day The Same
Character/Series: Edward Elric/Alfons Heiderich; Fullmetal Alchemist
Notes: Written for 31_days Feb 8 th theme; It’s all the same
Title: Every Day The Same
Word Count: 673
Summary: Every day was exactly the same.
Every day was exactly the same. Get up, get dressed, eat a meager breakfast of rolls and cheese with a bit of sausage if they were lucky that day, and go to work on a half-assed dream that would never make it anywhere.
His routine did as much to depress Edward as the separation from his brother did.
Alfons didn't seem to notice the dreariness of the routine; he seemed to enjoy it, in fact. It was normal, it was safe, unlike his secret relationship he carried on with Edward.
That relationship was the only thing that broke up the depressing routine and ... everything about this world that depressed him so much. Alfons reveled in the normalcy, Edward reveled in the aberration. Somehow, that didn't surprise Edward.
"Edward, your breakfast isn't going to eat itself," Alfons scolded him, snapping him out of the reverie he'd fallen into. Edward startled, staring at Alfons blankly for a moment, before he sighed, poking the roll. Somehow, he wasn't very hungry, but given how little there was to eat, he couldn't afford to skip a meal to satisfy that tight knot in his gut that squeezed tighter as the day went on.
He didn't believe in the rocket. He didn't think it'd get anyone anywhere. He was perhaps a pessimist that way, but he just couldn't see how reaching for the stars would help. He'd tried that. He'd had his wings burned for it. After all, stars were just suns much farther away than their own sun. The results would be the same.
But Alfons believed in the dream, and Edward lacked anything else to believe in in this world besides Alfons, so he followed along, working on the chemical formula for the fuel while the others put together their ship of dreams.
Ship of fools, Edward privately called it.
"Okay, guys," Hans announced, "that's good for the day. Let's get outta here."
After work was a stop at the beer hall. So normal, so much the same. Edward would sit across from Alfons, choosing not to partake, waiting patiently as the others drank their fill and ranted themselves wordless. He listened without hearing to the party speaker trying to stir up a German fervor in the patrons. He followed Alfons out of the hall, shoulders stooped against the cold that hit them full on once the door opened.
Every day was exactly like this.
More and more, Edward missed his brother, missed traveling with his brother, when every day was something a little different at least. Edward just wasn't made for this kind of sedentary life.
"Tell me, Edward," Alfons said that night, curled up against him. "What is it you want? You never smile."
Edward looked at him and shrugged. "Doesn't matter." It didn't matter because Alfons didn't believe in Edward's fairy tale home anymore than Edward believed in the ship of dreams.
Edward sighed, looking at Alfons. "Yes, and?" And what did it matter? Home was a million miles away, or may as well have been.
"I just wish you'd smile for once."
Edward frowned in response. "I do."
"During sex doesn't count, Edward."
Edward sat up, turning away from Alfons and putting his feet on the cold floor. "It's nothing, Alfons. I just miss my home and my family. Isn't that enough, or do I have to justify some more?"
Alfons sat up behind him, wrapping his arms around Edward's shoulders. "No, you don't," he said quietly. "I know you miss home, and I wish I could get you there, if it'd make you smile. But doesn't anything about being here make you happy?"
Every day was exactly the same. Even this routine was depressingly the same.
Edward looked back at him over his shoulder. "Just this," he admitted quietly. It was all the rest of everything that depressed him.
Alfons kissed the back of Edward's neck. "Then smile for me., would you?"
Edward did, but it wasn't very real.
Every day was exactly the same.