[roy/riza; nc-17] Useless Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Title: Useless Author:emilie_burns Theme:FMA FuhQ: Roy Mustang; 30_Romances: 18. Disheveled ; In the Rain ; Thunder Pairing: Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 4071 Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) is copyrighted by Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix. This is a work of fanfiction for personal entertainment only. Author's Notes: Made the deadline, despite RL hectic crap, hand problems, and sickness. T_T;; Roy-dominant; Riza's point of view became the dominant one necessary for this story. Thanks to Asrimal and Kefanii for giving me a quick beta. (I also lost in the 'think up a good title' department ::sigh::) Summary:"A little harsh?" he retorted. "How would you like to be called useless?" Original LJ Post Date: June 25, 2006 @ Chaotic_Library
Useless
It hadn't been a very good day.
Not only had they failed to stop the serial killer they'd come to refer to as 'Scar', but both Elric brothers had narrowly missed getting killed. On top of that, so had the Colonel, and now Scar knew the Flame Alchemist was in town, and it was still raining. Storming, in fact.
Although business went on as usual for the remainder of the day, he'd fallen silent on the drive to his residence, and all but ignored her upon arrival when he'd helped himself to some bourbon and lit a fire in the fireplace. It was dark now, the early sunset hurried along by the heavy clouds, and the last two hours, Riza Hawkeye had spent walking through the house, checking and re-checking all points of entry and trying to observe what she could beyond the drawn curtains, the darkness punctuated only by the frequent bolts of lightning.
The house was as secured as it could possibly be, and visibility outside was so poor that she was more likely to give them away looking out the windows than she was to spot danger before it arrived. Things were as safe as she could make them, and somewhat satisfied, she retrieved her bag from where it was left beside the door, and changed out of her uniform.
Once she was clad in more comfortable slacks, with an unbuttoned shirt over her black turtleneck, covering the holstered pistols on her belt and in her waistband, a quick stop in the kitchen was in order. Riza helped herself to cold cuts for a sandwich, and with a cup of tea in hand, made her way to the living room.
Where Roy was pouting.
Still.
He was slumped down on the sofa, glowering at the fireplace, his damp uniform jacket unbuttoned and his now-dried hair disheveled, a near-empty glass of bourbon clutched in his hand.
Riza sighed and set her tea and plate on the end table next to the chair. "Sir? How long do you intend to sulk?"
"Sulk?" He echoed, his tone first incredulous, then grumpy. "I think I'm allowed a little leeway."
He was still holding that afternoon against her. Great. "You almost got killed," she retorted as she sat down. "Do you have any idea just how narrow that miss was?"
"I know well enough to know that I'm apparently useless in the rain," he retorted, bitter.
Honestly. It was like dealing with an overgrown child sometimes. Men and their egos. She sighed again. "Your alchemy doesn't work as reliably when it's raining and you knew that, but that didn't stop you from taking a foolish risk," she explained, keeping her tone carefully patient, then took a bite of her sandwich.
"Actually..." He trailed off, thinking better of what he'd been about to say, and finished off the bourbon. "I'm far from useless!"
Riza exhaled slowly, and concentrated on finishing chewing the bite before letting herself focus on his inane arguments. "Then why was it he just barely missed grabbing you with that tattooed arm of his?"
"You don't need to rub it in, Lieutenant," he grumbled. "I made a mistake."
At least he admitted it. She looked down at the plate on her lap, taking a few more bites in silence. Glass clinked as he refilled his bourbon, but other than that, the only noise was the storm outside and the occasional pop of wood from the fireplace.
Admitting it or not, nothing changed the fact of how close that assassin's hand had come to making contact. If she'd reacted only a split second later...
Her stomach knotted at the thought, and she set her half-eaten sandwich aside, her appetite gone.
"Perhaps I was a bit harsh," Riza said after a bit, her voice soft. "People sometimes say more than they intend when terrified."
"A little harsh?" he retorted. "How would you like to be called useless?"
Point taken. She flinched a bit, closing her eyes as she sipped her tea. "I'm sorry, Colonel."
Another stretch of silence came around, but not as long as before. He took another drink, quite a moment longer. "Thanks for the save, Lieutenant."
The save. Now that she was letting herself actually think about it, replaying the scene in her mind, the chilling knowledge if she'd moved even half a heartbeat later, if it hadn't gone exactly how it had, she'd be washing his brains out of her hair that night instead of arguing with him over some stupid words. The thought alone left her feeling nauseated enough that she wondered if eating anything had been all that great of an idea. She clutched her cup tighter, trying to conceal the way her hands shook, and closed her eyes against the wet sting. Not trusting her voice, she only nodded an acknowledgment.
A boom of thunder rattled the panes, and overhead, the steady thrum of hard rain on the roof battled with the occasional whistle of wind, drowning out all but the loudest of crackles and pops from the fire.
When he spoke, it was unexpected enough that it startled her. "Come here, Lieutenant."
It took a few moments for his words to fully sink in and register beyond her own thoughts, and after another moment's hesitation, set her cup down and approached him. He didn't look at her, but gestured to the sofa, indicating that she should sit. Once she had, her hands primly clasped on her lap, looking at the fireplace, he spoke.
"I don't know what I'd do without you."
That tugged at the corner of her mouth in just the faintest hint of a smile as she looked at him. "Nor do I."
He set his own nearly-empty glass aside, and to her surprise, put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her against him. Riza froze, stiffening as she wondered what to do. It was likely one drink too many. Not that she was complaining about it, but it wasn't a situation they could risk. She was his direct subordinate, and while normally such a breach in the rules would be overlooked, he was climbing too high, too fast through the ranks, and there were people who would seize that to block his next promotion.
It was a bit awkward though, leaning over stiffly against his side, and he did nothing more, nor did he give any indication of letting go. Riza relaxed against him, but the position still felt unbalanced.
Deep down, she didn't care about the regulations or the rules or anything else. Not just then. Not while she could still see that hand passing within a hair's breadth of him, not when the reality of how closely-cut the timing had been still left her rattled under a fresh surge of adrenaline.
What could just a little while hurt, after the day they'd had?
She shifted position to turn at the waist, bringing her hand up to his opposite shoulder so she could cling to him, her head nestled against the near shoulder. Riza closed her eyes, relaxing more when she felt his head rest on hers, his arm tightening more around her. It was comfortable there, safe and peaceful, a refuge of calm.
Then he spoke, his voice low and thick, with just a hint of pleading. "You don't really think I'm useless, do you? I know you always handle everything so well, and you never need anyone. But do you really think I'm useless?"
The words, and the trace of something lost and uncertain underneath tore at her, making her heart clench painfully as her eyes stung. I need you. I handle everything because I have to, I have to be strong enough to support you. I can't afford to stumble. I hold together because of you. But her throat felt too thick to speak without breaking as she raised her head, cupping his cheek to make him look at her. "No," she murmured, her voice barely more than a strained whimper before she brushed her lips against his, trying to say what wouldn't become words.
Only when he closed his eyes and kissed her back did she realize what she'd just done, and her cheeks grew uncomfortably hot. Riza shut her eyes tight and bit her lip, drawing away from him. "I apologize, Colonel. That was inappropriate."
"The hell with what's appropriate," he replied, almost before she'd finished speaking. Before she could lodge any further protests, he cupped the back of her head, and with one hand on her back, pulled her closer, this time for a decidedly firm, almost aggressive kiss that left her trembling.
But it was far from unwelcome.
Riza let him pull her closer as she eagerly returned the kiss, fully aware of what they were doing, and her own lack of caring any longer. Waiting until they were in a position where it no longer carried as much risk was the sensible thing. Realizing that there was a chance there might not always be a tomorrow made it seem not so sensible anymore. She needed that, needed the kiss, to feel his breath, his heart, the warmth of him, the tangible assurance that she hadn't been too late, that he was still there, that the near miss had been a miss and it was over, everything was fine now.
The kiss broke, and ragged breaths mingled with touching lips, eyes open, and for a moment, she would have sworn he looked every bit as stunned and overwhelmed by the intensity as she felt. There had always been attraction there, but she hadn't been prepared to feel like this.
Then the look was gone from his eyes, replaced by a look that fell somewhere between mischievous and predatory, enough to make her shiver.
"Useless, hmm?" he whispered against her lips, his voice so low it was almost a purr. His fingertips trailed along her neck, making her pulse jump. "Perhaps we should see just how useless I am."
It was difficult to breathe; her lungs seemed to not want to work against the air, thick and congealing. Her nerves sparked and tangled before melting into warmth low inside. Then he kissed her again, a hungry and demanding kiss that made her whimper, and when she slid her hand under his unbuttoned uniform jacket, feeling the heat of his skin through his shirt, he coaxed her lips apart to deepen the kiss.
Riza wasn't certain who moved first, if it had been her changing position to a more comfortable one, or if it had been him pulling her closer. But she was on his lap, her body twisted to face him, and somewhere along the way her hair clip and elastic had been discarded, allowing him to run his hand through her hair, to grip it and pull her head back, breaking the kiss to tease her neck and nibble that spot just below her ear which shattered all sensible thought.
Her fingers fumbled with his shirt buttons while he tugged hers free of her waistband, and nipped at her pulse when he slid his hand up over her stomach and teased the sensitive points of her nipples through the thin fabric of her bra.
Her breath caught in her throat, dissolving into a low whine as every nerve caught fire and cracked, leaving her quivering in need. But when she leaned closer, her hips shifting a bit with her weight and pressing against his erection, he went still save for his hands, which trembled, pausing in their quest to tug her shirt upward.
The heat caught and sparked, flaring up with a newfound intensity, fueled by years of desire repressed and ignored. In a matter of moments she was half-off his lap, a foot braced against the floor as he pulled away from the sofa enough to shrug out of his shirt and jacket with her aid, and somewhere in all that her own shirt became part of the discarded pile on the floor. He nibbled her now bared chest as he leaned forward, pulling his wrists free from the shirtsleeves, and she gripped his bared shoulders to keep from falling backward. Questing fingers raked up her back and traced her spine, fumbling and then unfastening the closures to her bra.
There was a sense of urgency between them, but whether it was brought on by the events of the day, or the forbidden nature of their activities, she couldn't tell. Perhaps it was both. She broke the kiss to move off his lap before she fell, and as he pulled the straps of her bra down her arms while his eyes stayed firmly locked with her own, on a whim, spur of the moment, she twisted her wrists around to tangle them in the straps, forming a pseudobind.
Useless.
He went still, staring at her for a moment, not quite processing what she did with the bra. Then it clicked, and his gaze met hers as a slow and positively wicked little smile formed. The back straps were wrapped around her wrists and rehooked before he slid his hands up to her shoulders, pulling her to him for a hungry, demanding kiss.
When she lowered her hands to undo his pants, Roy grabbed her wrist while giving her a sharp nip into the kiss.
"I didn't say you could do that, Lieutenant," he whispered, and his tone sent a delicious shiver down her spine. He nibbled her earlobe, causing her to tremble. "You're the subordinate. I'm the commanding officer, and I'm the one in charge." His words were punctuated with soft nips and licks at that sensitive spot below her ear. "Are there any questions, Lieutenant?"
"No, sir." She could barely manage to speak; her words slipped out with a breathy whisper.
"Good. Now stand up." He traced along her racing pulse with the tip of his tongue. "And that" -- a nip -- "was an order."
Riza wondered how he expected her to follow that; her knees felt like they wouldn't hold her weight if she tried. But they did, albeit unsteadily, and his hands on her shoulders helped a bit as he too got to his feet.
Uncertain of what to do with her bound hands, she folded her arms over her chest, only to have them pulled down again. His touch was light as his fingertips stroked and teased her skin, and his grip gentle on her hardened nipples. His eyes never left hers, and that little wicked smirk tugging the corner of his mouth made her nerves tangle and electrify and melt and reform in a repeating cascade.
Then he broke the gaze and replaced his fingers with his mouth, sending a heated flush through her chest up to her cheeks. Riza could feel her skin quivering in response to his fingers as he caressed her abdomen, moving to her hips to unfasten her pants. Roy knelt in front of her and her knees almost gave out from her under her as he nipped her inner thigh and traced her skin with the tip of his tongue right along where the leg of her panties ended.
She steadied herself, hands on his shoulder, as she stepped out of her slacks and he removed her shoes and socks, until only her panties remained. It was difficult to breathe as he tugged those down as well, with his lips and teeth exploring the slowly exposed flesh over her hips. When she lifted a foot off the floor to step out of them, he nipped her inner thigh, almost causing her to fall as her other leg debated on whether or not to support her. He steadied her with his hands on her hips, a predatory gleam in his eyes with a matching grin on his lips as he watched her.
"Don't fall, Lieutenant." Then he broke eye contact with a brief, sidelong gaze, his expression contemplative. "Unless it's for me, of course."
Riza blinked, and laughed outright at that, amused by the corny line. But the short laugh quickly became a breathless moan as he grinned, then leaned closer, taking advantage of the way she caught her balance, the wider spread to her legs, and dragged the tip of his tongue over her, and the low melting heat in her bones transformed into an inferno. If not for his grip and her hands on his shoulder, she would have fallen then, trembling and breathless, with every nerve tangled up in matted snarls of electrical shocks that sent quivering ripples of icy hot fire through her.
Just when she thought she wouldn't be able to stand much longer even then, he stopped and drew back. Before she could catch her breath and gather her wits, he pulled her back onto his lap on the sofa, his arms around her waist.
It was easy, to give in and relax, to melt back against him as he nibbled her shoulder and neck while his hands explored her body. She felt boneless, molten from the heat, and doubted she could resist even if she wanted to as he pulled her over a bit more, and used his legs, positioned under hers, to part them for better access with his hand.
His bare chest was warm against her back, the wool of his pants rough underneath her as she squirmed, trying to intensify the contact with his hand, wanting, needing more. The tiny nibbles and nips along the side of her neck were maddening. Riza wasn't certain if the unsteady, beating thrum was the rain on the roof or her own pulse racing, and the line between the heat from the fireplace and and the molten feeling within had long ago blurred.
A thunderclap jarred her nerves, which immediately crackled with a scalding energy as he slipped a finger inside her a moment thereafter while his other hand was busy teasing her breasts and nipples. Then it was gone, back to fingertips delving into her, tracing around her clitoris, pushing her beyond the point of thought, but too light to ever be enough.
When she grabbed at him, trying to force an increase of pressure, holding his arm, angling her hips toward his hand, he withdrew completely, using both hands to pull her arms up, her hands out of reach as he nipped her sharply. "Are you saying I'm useless, Lieutenant?" he whispered, his voice husky and low.
Riza shuddered and writhed on his lap, feeling his erection through his pants against her backside. "N-no," she managed to say, stuttering around an inability to breathe beyond shaky gasps. She heard his breathing hitch, and he pressed his hips up against hers. His given name fell from her lips, a helpless and quiet plea, and she tried to get up, to move off him to remove the last barrier between them, needing him.
An arm snaked around her waist again, holding her tight. "No, Lieutenant." The order was punctuated by another nip, and he kept her hands up and immobile while he resumed stroking and teasing her. No matter what she did or how she moved, she could not make him increase the pressure beyond that soft and teasing touch, enough to set her nerves and blood aflame and melt her bones, but never enough to soothe it.
She started rocking her hips to the rhythm of the storm outside, to the pulse loud in her own ears, melting under his touch, his breath warm and quick against her neck, feeling his heart against her back, and the slick feel of skin against skin. It was dizzying, maddening, frustrating, and utterly helpless feeling when she realized he wasn't doing more than teasing her to the brink of insanity.
"Wh- what do you want?" Riza whimpered, biting her lip to choke back a strained cry.
She felt more than heard a low, pleased sound from him, and briefly, far too briefly, the contact intensified. "Talk to me, Lieutenant. Am I useless?"
"No. No, you're not. Pl- please, sir." A quiet whine caught in her throat, tripping over an unsteady gasp.
"Please, what, Lieutenant?" He nipped her again. "I'm not sure I believed you. Are you certain you're not just telling me what I want to hear so I'll give you what you want?" To punctuate his words, a finger slipped inside, light and quick, and then it was gone.
"No, I'm not. You're not useless, you're not, please!" She was frustrated now, on the brink of tears, writhing more as she tried to squirm free from his grip but still he held fast.
"What do you want?"
"You."
"I'm here, Lieutenant." He increased the pressure against her clitoris enough to make her moan, to lift her hips, greedily craving more. She cried out, nearly sobbing as he drew his hand away. "What do you want?"
"You," she repeated, her voice strained even to her own ears, husky and winded, and words formed and fell from her lips before the thoughts could finish forming past the tangled nerves and rolling heat. "It's you, you I want, need, I need you, I need you here with me, right now, tomorrow, always, I--"
She lost the ability for talk or thought then, everything else dissolving into a high, soft cry as several fingers slid inside of her, his touch firmer than before. She felt him shudder, heard his breath catch, hot against her skin. He released her wrists, his arm going around her torso to hold her to him, tight and secure.
"I'm right here, Riza, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. I'm staying right here." His thumb brushed over her clitoris for emphasis as a third finger slipped inside, his hand steady and firm as she pressed harder against the contact.
The melting tangle of nerves was concentrated now, and all sense of reality beyond him fled from the coiling tension of a searing whiteness that curled her toes and forced her nails into her palms, against her thighs, pulling against the weak binding of the bra until they slipped free and she clawed the sofa. She couldn't breathe. All she could do was press against his hand as pre-orgasmic ripples sparked and caught on the feel of him, the sound of her own pulse roaring, the roughness of the fabric beneath her, and the--
She knew it was almost there, but the intensity of it caught her by surprise as the world lost itself out from underneath her, and every nerve fired off and tangled, snapping and crackling under the sudden rush of climax. The pressure of his hand did not let up until she sobbed, pushing at his arm, trying to just breathe, the air far too thin up where she was.
He no longer nipped her; his kisses were soft now, making a little line across her sweat-slicked shoulder, and both arms now held her fast. She felt him shudder, his breathing still unsteady, but he made no move to let her go, keeping her still while she regained her breath and her senses.
Riza was still aware of his erection, of the way his breath still caught every time she moved even a little. She looked back at him, turning her head until he captured her lips for a slow, lingering kiss. "What about you?"
"Later, Lieutenant." He smiled into the kiss. "Get yourself back together first. It wouldn't be good for both of us to be too caught up in matters at the same time right now."
"Point." Taking care not to tease him further for the time being, she moved off his lap and planted a light kiss to his shoulder. "It's a bit late for this, but are you still going to respect me in the morning?" Riza looked at him, smiling a bit at the answer she already saw there in his eyes.
"Only if you promise not to have second thoughts and shoot me for it," he teased, and she kissed his palm as he touched her cheek. His lips were warm on her forehead in a soft kiss. "I'm not going anywhere, for any reason. Not where you can't follow."
"And I wouldn't follow anyone who's useless."
The look he gave her said everything words could and more. She smiled against the kiss, then gathered her discarded clothes off the floor.