[roy/riza; pg-13] Thunderclap Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Title: Thunderclap Author:emilie_burns Theme: #2, bury (30_Romances) Pairing: Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 1280 (edit as of June 6, '06: this is inaccurate as I've added less than 50 words to accomodate some concrit) Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) is copyrighted by Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix. This is a work of fanfiction for personal entertainment only. Spoilers for manga chapters 37 and 38. I take some liberties in the dialogue from a scene in 38 due to the awkwardness of the translations in my scanlation copy. The lines remain the same in concept and meaning, but are far less stilted and literal. Special thanks to joanaseta for some concrit correcting a few errors I made. It's very appreciated. ♥ Summary:It was too raw, too fresh, too clear in his mind. The silence on the phone. There wasn't silence this time, but gunshots. The only question was, whose gun? He saw the phone booth again; the roped-off, bloodstained phone booth. Original LJ Post Date: August 07, 2005 @ 30_Romances
Thunderclap
This is the sound of a feeling that's caught in my head, Make me think about something you said, Take away my fears. -Seal, "State of Grace"
Roy Mustang didn't care what anyone thought as he raced through the corridors to the exit, skidding on the tile floors around corners. He paid no attention to the surprised bystanders when he ran to the parking lot and left, tires squealing and skidding on the pavement. Regard for traffic laws went out the window as he shifted gears and worked the clutch, pressing the accelerator to the floor.
There were only five things on his mind. Five things he cared about at that moment in time. Gunshots. Silence. Maes. Riza.
Not being there.
It was too raw, too fresh, too clear in his mind. The silence on the phone. There wasn't silence this time, but gunshots. The only question was, whose gun? He saw the phone booth again -- the roped-off, bloodstained phone booth. There was Maes, in his mind's eye, laying there with the phone off the hook.
Waiting for him.
Only now, it was Riza.
Please! Not her too, don't take her away too! Please let her be all right, let her be alive. It should be me. Stop taking everyone! Please don't let me be too late!
Whose gun had been firing? The sounds were muffled, distant, when he slammed the phone down and tore out of his office. Were they coming from a distance? Perhaps she had no longer been wearing the radio headset. He prayed that was all it had been, that it was her gun he had heard firing, that it wasn't firing at her. He prayed to and pleaded with unnamed and vague entities and concepts, to whomever or whatever might be out there and cared to listen to desperate, unfocused bargaining from the likes of him.
Please let me get there in time!
He tried to will the car to go faster, hating every moment where he had to slow down to take a turn. The steering wheel was slick under his palms, and he licked dry lips with an equally dry tongue, trying to ignore the tight, cold knot of fear tangling up underneath his heart and sinking lower.
He saw the tower first, the safehouse just around the next corner. Brakes squealed and tires skidded across the street as he slammed the pedal down, barely remembering to jam his foot against the parking brake before shoving the door open and running for the stairs.
He never thought that the sound of rapid, steady gunfire -- handguns, not rifle or machine -- would ever sound quite as good as it did then. Roy didn't know how bad it was, but it told him one thing: she was still alive, she had to be.
Two at a time, three at a time, he ignored the heavy, sick twisting in his stomach and the ashen dryness of his mouth as he ran up to the top of the tower. Adrenaline supercharged his senses and made his nerves shake with an energy he hadn't felt since Ishbal. The gunfire stopped when he was still a flight down, and fear opened the floodgates, tapping into a reserve of energy and speed he didn't think he had and yet it still felt like it wasn't enough.
"Out of bullets? If that's the case, then it's eating time..."
He never slowed down even as he reached the top floor. A grossly obese -- was that even a person? -- was looking at Riza and Kain as Roy caught himself against the wall to slow his speed and spun around, slamming his back against it, holding his hand out between his subordinates and snapping his gloved fingers. The air charged and crackled as he generating a spark, controlling the rush of fire into an explosive arrow straight at the creature in front of him. His breathing was hoarse, winded and raspy in his own ears over the screams and explosion of flame and brick.
"Co- Colonel!" She looked back at him, her expression bewildered, stunned, even frightened, a look which evaporated into relief and gratitude.
In that instant, Roy knew he was lost.
He never planned to take the path he did, never sought out what he had found. But it was there in front of him, a secret he'd known for a long time. He wasn't sure when it happened, but he knew he would never forget that moment, with the raw reality of almost having lost her lingering in the air with the smoke and scent of charred flesh, when he stopped lying to himself.
The moment he admitted to himself that he loved her.
He was only vaguely aware of Kain looking at them and moving away, walking to the wall to look out at the street below. Roy turned his still-outstretched hand toward Riza as he pushed away from the wall, looking over her, noticing a redness around her neck and jaw that could only have come from hands, but otherwise unharmed. Unharmed and alive.
He caught himself before he pulled her into a hug and froze, a heartbeat hanging in balance, staring at her. He never let himself admit how he might feel about his adjutant, not even in private. There were regulations, and far too many risks. Yet, they seemed paler now, unimportant.
Kain was saying something that refused to register in his mind -- another distant part spoke up, pointing out that he really needed to remember to thank the man for buying him that time he sorely needed. She shut her eyes then and drew a deep breath, stepping back, away from his hand, out of his reach.
"Why did you come out here?!" she shouted, her voice shrill with adrenaline. Startled, he drew his hand back as Kain and Black Hayate both jumped in surprise.
She opened her eyes and stared at him, and if there had remained even a sliver of doubt in his heart in regard to his feelings, they were banished forever. He collected his nerves as she continued her tirade, letting her lead him back behind their masks of conduct, their roles of superior and subordinate, to a place where he could bury the intensity behind their walls.
"Even if everything went wrong, we are capable of escaping any attacker without outside interference from you! And like an idiot, you went and blew our cover and came running in here, not even knowing what was going on!"
"I know, I know!" he retorted, matching her shout for shout. "I'm an idiot, I admit it, all right?!" He was back under control now, refocused on the matters at hand and aware of their highly public situation.
"The target has started his escape!" Kain called out, raising his voice over theirs to catch their attention.
Roy moved over to his side and looked out down the hole in the wall. "All right. This is good." Roy nodded to himself as he watched the hulking creature move away. "He can get away to his den."
And lead us to the heart of the matter.
He turned around and walked to the door, all business once again. "Sergeant, withdraw at once, and leave not a single piece of trash behind!"
"Yes, sir!" Kain replied as Riza spoke up, ordering Black Hayate to remain with him.
"First Lieutenant!"
Riza fell into step behind him as they started down the stairs.
"It is well that you are alive. " He looked up at her as he rounded the corner at the landing, continuing down the stairs. I got here as soon as I could. I can't lose you too.
"I regret to have made you this anxious." Her words were calm as she followed him. He read the rest of her thoughts it in her eyes as clear as any spoken word.
I know.
Can't seem to find our state of grace. Who knows, tomorrow may never come. One touch, one look that is all it takes, These things forever change us.