[roy/riza; r] Promises Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Title: Promises Author:emilie_burns Theme: #3, no promises (30_Smiles) Pairing: Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye Rating: R, for adult situations. Word Count: 1075 Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) is copyrighted by Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix. This is a work of fanfiction for personal entertainment only. The setting would be the East HQ, and can fit in within either the manga or anime continuity. Notes: Sequel of sorts to A Hard Game (G). Summary:The lighting was as harsh as reality in the aftermath. Little by little, she became aware of discomforts; sweat-slick skin sticking to the hard, black leather cushions. Original LJ Post Date: September 12, 2005 @ 30_Smiles
Promises
The lighting was as harsh as reality in the aftermath. Little by little, she became aware of discomforts; sweat-slick skin sticking to the hard, black leather cushions. The awkward twist of her back. The fatigue in her hip joints, angled in unfamiliar ways. The way her hair clip pulled and poked, distracting and vaguely painful. She shut her eyes and tried to blot it out, ignore the reality of the overhead lights cruelly illuminating the defects of the spartan, ugly office. She tried to ignore the growing restlessness, the desire to move, change position.
She wanted the heated, breathless rapture back, the security, the sense of absolute belonging. She wanted to remain where she was, until the end of time, to stop reality from intruding into a world they had wanted, dreamt of, longed for. A world they finally made.
His hair tickled her cheek as he turned his head, and she resisted the urge to bring her hand up to scratch it. His lips were soft on her neck, slow and lazy, his breathing evening out. A contrast to not even five minutes earlier, when kisses were tongue and tooth, urgent and aggressive. Desperate. In a languid motion, she traced her fingertips up his back, feeling the heat of his skin through his shirt. She felt the muscles tense and shift under her palms as he moved, drawing back, staying over her but no longer in, and then he slid an arm under her. She winced at the feel of the leather separating from skin, where her shirt had pulled up enough to expose her back.
He lifted his head, and with his free hand, his fingers traced her cheek and lips as he studied her, his eyes warm, his expression solemn, reverent. The kiss he placed to her lips was paradoxically chaste in contrast to their state of undress. She was loathe to break the silence, the fragile bubble around their world which even as she hesitated, was evaporating on its own.
"We should get dressed."
The look that dulled the warmth in his eyes matched the sharp pang she felt inside at her own words. "You're right, as usual," was his quiet reply, although he made no move to stand, instead tightening his arm around her even more.
A cold desperation began to leech out from her heart and along her nerves, and even though she knew that with every passing moment, the risk of being caught rose that much higher, she found herself responding, clinging to him, not wanting to leave the place she had longed to reach for so long.
The kiss hurt. It was slow and soft, with a sad sort of desperation in the restrained intensity. A kiss good-bye. The desire to disappear, to make the rest of the world shatter far away from them was overwhelming, and damped her eyes.
"Riza, I don't want this to be all we'll ever have."
The painful sting provoked the tears which had gathered but not yet fallen, escaping from the corner of her eyes and disappearing into her sweat-damp hair. "But if this is all we can ever have, then at least we have tonight."
He was silent for a long moment, his forehead against hers, his dark eyes closed. "Do you want this to be all?"
Her breath caught as every fiber of her being screamed in protest at the thought. Her voice was barely audible, the words escaping before she could think of what she was saying. "Forever would not be long enough, Roy." Only by saying his name, unfamiliar on her lips, did she realize she'd voiced that aloud and opened her eyes to look at him, battling a trace of fear that she might have said too much.
He kissed her then, firm and hungry, his fingers tangling in her hair. "We'll find a way. Somehow," he said.
"Someday," she agreed. "Even if that day is not until you reach the top."
He was still for a moment, then drew his head back to look at her, that arrogant smirk of confidence on his lips. "Lieutenant," he drawled, "have you no confidence in my ability to make things fall into place?"
Words failed her and all she could do was smile, even as her heart twisted inside. She kissed him, his lips gentle and warm against hers. "I believe in you, but don't take too many risks for us. Don't jeopardize our goals for our dreams. Promise me that. Promise me that you won't make any promises."
His eyes closed, and he held her tighter. "Our goals. My goals." His chuckle was lacking in humor. "What good are they, my ideals for all of Amestris, if I cannot even make a desirable world for those nearest to me? What kind of a leader is that?"
"Someone I love, and will follow, to the ends of the earth and back again. Being where you are is all the world I need."
He pulled back from her, moving away and sitting up, raking a hand through his hair as he looked around. "And I wanted more for you than this. At the very least, you deserve a real bed."
"At the very least, I deserve you," she corrected, sitting up as well and adjusting her bra and top, reaching behind her, rehooking it and pulling them down. "This place is us. Who we are, what we are. Even if this is all we ever have, this is how it should be. Something else, something that's not us, I'd be too afraid of it fading, becoming myth over the years. At least this, we will always know it was real. That for tonight at least, we were real." She reached across the floor as she spoke, snagging her pants and pulling them back on, standing to fasten them. "And I don't need promises, just as long as I'm still by your side."
He watched her for a moment, then began to redress himself as well. "Perhaps no promises are enough for you, but it never was for me. Someday, I'll be able to give you more than this." She began to protest to that, but he looked at her out of the corner of his eye as he finished buttoning his shirt, and a slow, mischievous smirk tugged at his lips. "That's an order, lieutenant."
Love mixed with exasperation silenced her, and drew out a smile. "Yes, sir."
Try not to reach out When you turn 'round, And you say hello, And we both pretend There was an end, But there was no ending. - Fleetwood Mac, "Angel"