[ed/riza; pg-13] I Saw a Star Slide Down the Sky Title: I Saw a Star Slide Down the Sky Author:emilie_burns Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Pairing: Edward Elric/Riza Hawkeye Prompt: #8, Falling star (16Candles_Fics) Word Count: 2707 Genre: Romance Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Despite Ed's phrasing of choice in parts in this, there actually isn't any Elricest in this AU. Ed's just... special that way. Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi) is copyrighted by Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix. This is a work of fanfiction for personal entertainment only. Author's Notes: AU animeverse, in the year 1924. There is a backstory to this but I'm not done with that fic yet and rather than risk spoiling anything for that fic by naming it or explaining anything... well... this does stand well enough alone on its own. I originally wrote most of this back in November of '06, and just now got around to adding the last few paragraphs and finishing it up. I forgot I had this fic, honestly. Summary:Well, he'd found someone who understood that. Unfortunately, it seemed to come at the price of her not understanding that she wasn't a fill-in-the-blank placebo, interchangeable with any one of a hundred faces or names that would never be quite what he needed. Chanson du Jour: Nightwish : Ever Dream (4.4MB, mp3) [yousendit | megaupload] Original LJ Post Date: April 04, 2007 @ Chaotic_Library
I Saw a Star Slide Down the Sky
I saw a star slide down the sky, Blinding the North as it went by. Too burning and too quick to hold; Too lovely to be bought or sold. Good only to make wishes on, And then forever to be gone. - Sara Teasdale
Central City, 1924
It was a lazy evening. They remained in the secluded shadows of the back porch, books forgotten and set aside as twilight died down into night. The city had become quiet, children going home for supper and bed after a day of playing, merchants returning after long days at work. As the city grew quiet and the day faded down, the night came to life with the soft goodnight calls of birds bedding down to sleep, the cricket carols, and the lulling buzz of cicadas, peppered with the quiet, occasional creaks and squeaks of the wooden porch swing they occupied.
Edward closed his eyes, feeling as contentedly happy as was possible, with the knowledge that his brother would be arriving on an afternoon train tomorrow, along with Winry, and Sheska, and that he wouldn't be leaving again. Most of the renovations were finished; he'd left some of it untouched until Al could get out there, and they could discuss how to handle some of the areas of the enormous old house.
It had been a steal, really. At least for an alchemist of his caliber and talent. The remodeling and renovating the condemned, ramshackle mansion, untouched for what was probably the last hundred years, had been pulled off as easily as clapping his hands. The raw materials were cheaper too; bags of sand instead of panes of glass, and sawdust and wood fragments from a lumber mill instead of measured planks.
There were boxes still unpacked stacked in the large dining room, and several crates had already arrived, which he'd put in the side rooms which would be eventually turned into an automail shop and clinic for Winry. But otherwise, they'd done as much as they could, as much as they needed to together, and it was a well-earned rest, enjoying the quiet solitude of a house far too big for just the two of them.
Well, three, if one counted Black Hayate, sleeping not far away by the steps.
Laying on his back, Edward swatted with distracted annoyance at a mosquito landing on his arm, and looked up at the woman whose lap his head was currently occupying. She must have felt the subtle shift of his focus, for she looked down and gently brushed his hair away from his face with her fingertips.
Fingertips which he kissed after capturing the hand they belonged to, and then held it, pressing it to his cheek. Out of the corner of his eye, a brief and small blink of light caught his attention and he looked to where he thought he saw it. Nothing else happened, and he started to look away when there it was -- another meteor. Two.
He couldn't quite remember where it had been, or how old he was. He remembered that Al had still been in armor, and the only reason he remembered it at all was because over the years he stayed at Riza's house during his monthly trips to Central, he gradually recalled all the little things that he'd glimpsed when she'd lowered her walls for them just enough that they could see the person behind them, rather than just the Lieutenant.
That had been one of those times.
"Look," he whispered against her fingertips. "Up there. A meteor shower." The chains on the wooden swing creaked as she leaned back a little and looked out over the treetops at the brief streaks of white. "Meteor showers always make me think of you now."
"Oh?" There was a note of curious amusement in Riza's voice as she looked down at him. "And why would that be? I realize we had a long drop from where we were to where we ended up when we took down the Fuhrer, but--"
"That has nothing to do with it," he said, interrupting. "Did you forget?"
"Hmm?" She looked down at him again, a soft smile curving her lips. "Forget what?"
"I don't even remember where or when, not for sure. But I remember a meteor shower Al pointed out, and you were there too, and you were asking us if we made wishes on them. You said wishes only worked if they were something you believed in with your whole heart when Al asked you if you'd made any wishes, and then you wished I'd be able to get him restored."
She laughed softly. "You remember that?"
"I remember you believing in me."
She stroked his cheek. "I always knew you'd make it, someday."
"At least one of us did." He turned his head and kissed her palm, enjoying the stillness. She had resumed looking out at the sky when he glanced up at her, watching the solemn distance in her expression. "Are you sure you're really okay with this arrangement?" he asked, for what he knew was likely the hundredth time since it was first discussed a few days after Pinako's funeral. It was asking a lot, he knew, to request someone as intensely private and admittedly set in her own ways and routines as Riza Hawkeye to share a house with two other women, both of wildly different personalities, just so that he could once again live in the same house as his brother.
Riza's response was a tiny smile that he could never be quite certain was real until he could see her eyes, which he couldn't in the fading light. "I'm certain. This has never been your home as much as a temporary bandage until you could merge all the fragments together. And this house is more than big enough."
He frowned, not entirely happy with that answer. "You still don't believe me, do you?" When she didn't meet his eyes, he drew away, sitting up so he could face her. "You still don't get it." He almost laughed at the bitter irony. Years ago, a lifetime ago it felt like now, when Al and Winry first got together, she'd teased him that it was his turn to find a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Either way. He'd brushed it off, convinced that there wasn't anyone out there who'd understand how vital Al was to him, that he... he would never outgrow needing his little brother, how much a part of him he was.
Well, he'd found someone who understood that. Unfortunately, it seemed to come at the price of her not understanding that she wasn't a fill-in-the-blank placebo, interchangeable with any one of a hundred faces or names that would never be quite what he needed. Al was Al, and he was as necessary to Ed as the air itself, but Riza was Riza and he loved them both and needed them both and nothing would ever change that. He knew it wasn't healthy, the level of attachment he had for his family, the obsessive need to have them all close enough to touch on a constant basis, to have them right there, within his realm of protection and control. He had to be able to protect them, to watch over them, to keep them from being sick or injured or losing them altogether. The mere thought of losing anyone again was enough to send him into a state of panic. Just because he could not be happy until his brother was there, right there with him, living with him, close enough to see and touch and hear on a daily basis didn't mean he didn't love her.
He wouldn't have married her a little over a year ago if he didn't.
"I get how much you and Al have gone through, how close you two are, how--"
"How much more important he is than you could ever be?" he interrupted bluntly. She flinched, a physical recoil as if he'd struck her, and didn't meet his eyes. "That's what you're thinking. Damnit, Riza." Frustrated, he stood up, making the wooden swing bounce and sway as he walked to the railing and leaned back against it to face her, crossing his legs at the ankles. He waited until she met his eyes, even if it was only out of the corner of hers, a nervous, guarded look that he absolutely hated.
"Listen to me. I need Al, yes. But he's Al, and you're you and there's never going to be replacing either of you." He tapped his chest, watching her. "You're both in here. You're both a part of this, of me. And I've already lost pieces that have never healed up in all these years. I cannot afford to lose any more. I need Al, but I'd never be as whole as I am now if I lost you. You're not less important. You gave me a home over all these years, a place where I was needed, where I belonged even more than the house I lived in. And all the little things that make you who you are, like the wishing on the stars, your constant kindness to Al, the little things you've done for me over the years, the subtle ways that let me see past what you show most of the world, that's what made me fall for you."
She was silent for a few heartbeats, then smiled, a faint look that didn't completely reach her eyes, even though her heart did. "I love you too, Edward."
He bit back a few choice words; he couldn't find it in him to hate Mustang -- he knew too much about the why, and knew he tried. Hell, if it hadn't been for the general, Edward knew he wouldn't be where he was, with Riza. But still, it wasn't hard for him to see how Mustang transferring her out of his command, thinking it would keep her safe and out of the line of fire after she'd been shot, had left its mark.
"You're not replaceable," he said as he pushed away from the rail and circled behind the swing. "There's only one Riza Hawkeye." Hands on her shoulders, he leaned down to nuzzle a spot behind her ear. "It was Riza Hawkeye who always treated Al like a person, who never forgot despite the armor that he was just a boy. It's Riza Hawkeye who willingly follows people she cares about through hell and although people say you hold so much back, they just don't see it's because you give the most important parts of yourself without reserve. It was Riza Hawkeye who cleared out a spare room to give me home. It was Riza Hawkeye who did all the little things over the years that made it home. No one else."
"I'm sorry," she whispered as she lowered her head to rest it against his automail arm. "This must be getting terribly tedious for you."
He shushed her and tightened his grip. "I'm not leaving, and neither are you. And I can be patient, contrary to popular belief, and I'm in no rush. We have the rest of our lives for me to get that through to you."
Her head came up to rest against his shoulder as she looked out across the lawn and the dark again. Ed closed his eyes and pressed his cheek to hers.
"Want to hear a secret?" she asked softly.
"What's that?"
"When I brought up wishing on stars all those years ago, one thing I remember. I'd stopped wishing and dreaming, and I couldn't bring myself to tell Alphonse that, not when I wanted to keep you two from ending up like me. I hadn't thought of wishes in a long, long time when I saw those stars. In Ishbal, I'd watch them, and they were dying, burning out and falling, spent and wasted and forgotten."
He pressed his lips to her temple, gentle and soft. "What about now?
"Now?" Riza didn't answer immediately. "I... I wish... that I could see myself someday the way you do." He looked at her then and followed her gaze back to the sky.
"You once said it only works if you believe it will."
"Mmhmm." Her eyes were warmer, tired, but no longer sad when she looked at him.
Ed kissed her, gentle and possessive and lingering. "We should turn in; tomorrow's going to be a busy day."
"Yes." She didn't move at first, relaxed against him on the swing, then with a sigh of reluctance, pulled away. He held the door open for her and with a scrambled, quiet, scratching of nails on wood, Black Hayate pushed himself up from the steps and trotted inside behind his mistress.
Once the door was locked, once they were out of the kitchen, the downstairs dark on the way up the wide, old staircase, Ed caught her hand and brought it up to his lips, turning it over and kissing the inside of her wrist. "I hope you're not tired yet," he replied. "I'm not ready to say goodnight so early on our last night with the house to ourselves."
He turned a bit to look at her and felt a pang of guilt at the ironic little smile on her lips -- it wasn't her fault he couldn't quite function, couldn't quite live without everyone in his family all together. It wasn't any shortcoming on her part or theirs but his and she couldn't see it that way. But she left the words unspoken, though he could still hear them in her smile -- it's by your word and your choice the house is no longer solely ours -- and turned her hand to cup his cheek.
"And what do you have in mind, if not sleep?" she asked, a careful sort of coy deliberation in her tone.
"I had anything in mind? I figured I'd handle things the old fashioned way -- wait till I get there and see what comes up." Even as the last syllable was still forming, he closed his eyes and held up a finger as a thoroughly wicked grin started to tug at the corner of his wife's lips. "And that is not how I meant it!"
If she had any cleverly perverted retort, it took a back seat to the laughter. And she started laughing harder as he tugged her hand impatiently and tried to order her to shush.
"Traitorous brat," he complained, exaggerating his scowl in an effort to keep from grinning at the breathless flush on her cheeks.
"Oh, Edward." She sank down onto the bed, and her sigh dissolved into a giggle again. "You really suffer from an unfortunate handicap with certain turns of phrases."
"Just this once!"
"I know of at least one other time. Russell did mention something about--"
"I'm going to kill Tringham." He grinned with a feral sort of mock cheer.
"You always say that."
"I mean it this time."
"You always say that, too."
"But I really mean it this time." He scowled and walked over to the bed and pushed her over before moving onto it and straddling her legs. Her startled yelp of halfhearted protest was quickly muffled by a kiss. "If that's all you're going to be using your mouth for, I can come up with better ideas for it."
"Just remember we can't stay awake too long. We have to get up early enough to finish up around--"
"Meh. The place doesn't have to be perfect before they get here. And Al can help finish stuff up too. And Winry can earn her keep." He grinned.
"I can tell her you said that, you know."
"Not if you're tied up and gagged." That earned him a light, barefooted kick to his thigh.
"Maybe this arrangement won't be so bad, I'll have backup support in dealing with you."
"Don't count on that too much." He grinned, and knew it was the kind of grin which would have made his brother nervous when they were younger. Brother? What are you up to now? The suspicious glance Riza gave him only confirmed that.
Ed only laughed at that. His world was shifting toward a sense of normalcy, toward a place where it was supposed to be. His family, at long last, whole and unbroken and together. When she reached to the lamp to turn off the light, he stopped her, pulling her hand back and drawing her toward him.