InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Not hiiieeerrrrr!"

V (heartshapedtear) wrote in chaos_theory_rp,
@ 2008-05-03 01:45:00

Entry tags:

galen thomas, valentin antila

Who: Valentin
When: Friday after 7 p.m
Where: Outside the house he shares with Galen

Valentin hated modeling, but he wasn't very qualified for much else, and he had just enough international notoriety for simple things to become complicated in addiction to his refusal to do anything related to customer service.

He feared his father may attempt to make him return and work at the company if he did not occupy himself with something his father deemed useful while he was in the States. They weren't going to allow him to stay and just do nothing but shop and spend money on his boyfriend.

Valentin enrolled at George Washington University to appease his father, and had contacted a local modeling agency that could help him find work earlier that day.

One thing he was nervous about was passing the upcoming DMV test, he'd honestly never driven himself anywhere in his entire life and while he was sure he could pass the knowledge part of the test he was worried about the actual driving part. It was because he was so nervous that he convinced Mikko to help him practice in the lexus in their driveway.

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notthatcrazy
2008-05-08 02:30 pm UTC (link)

Galen was determined. Not in the way most people could imagine him being determined, but he was. While he still didn't have anywhere to go, no money to eat with, and he was almost positive Val would take away any method of communication, Galen wasn't going to back down.

Get in, pack, leave. That simple. It was like going to rehab (which he was tempted to do, just so he could have a place to sleep and something to eat.) He had to cut off the bad to get to the good...

God...

He was never giving up the drugs. It was too much a part of him, and everyone else could just screw off.

Watching the car in the driveway a moment, Galen didn't stop to talk as he walked into the house, the taxi waiting at the end of the drive for him, to take his last few bucks.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-08 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	Valentin saw Galen enter the house through the rear view mirror. He wondered why there was a taxi waiting at the end of the driveway and excused himself from Mikko, putting the car in park and jetting into the house. He called out once he entered, "Galen?! Where are you?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-12 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	Galen was in their room, in front of the dresser, pulling out shirts and other assorted items that belonged to him. Even as he did, though, his hands were shaking, heart racing. When Val's voice reached him, he jumped a little, leaning up against the dresser. I can do this, he thought to himself, echoed with a female reassurance that yes, we can. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartshapedtear
2008-05-13 04:09 am UTC (link)

When Galen didn't respond he felt compelled to go up the stairs. At the top of the stairs he passed the kitten Delilah comfortably asleep in her carpeted kitty palace. Standing in the doorway of their shared bedroom he watched Galen rummage through the dresser drawers. Immediately he knew something wasn't right. It looked like Galen was packing? Why would he be packing? He stepped into the room and shut the door behind him before leaning back against it.

"Didn't you hear me calling for you?"

His eyes went back on the clothes.

"What do you think you are doing?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-13 11:31 pm UTC (link)
	"Packing," he said curtly, not looking up at Val as he did so. He just wanted to be out and away. Before he lost the nerve to go. Which meant being quick. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-15 12:52 am UTC (link)
	"Packing," he repeated in an admonished tone. Galen had not discussed going anywhere with him and it seemed more then a quick trip somewhere was on Galen's agenda, it was as if Galen was abandoning him? "Whatever for?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-15 12:54 am UTC (link)
	"I'm leave." He said in a clipped tone, "I have to." Because not leaving was too easy of a thing to do. Resisting the urge to apologize, or look at Val, Galen stuffed more stuff in his back, trying not to visibly fidget. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-15 01:05 am UTC (link)
	"Leaving," he gasped. Suspicion confirmed. His voice climbed, "No, you don't have too!" In a tone of mixed hurt and rage, "Why do you think you have too!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-15 08:48 am UTC (link)
	"Because! I do!" Galen's hands were shaking a bit harder now, his eyes closing part-way. "Because if I don' it will just get stupid and messy." He paused a moment, before looking back at Val for the first time. "Because I might not be alive in a week, and I just need to know something." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartshapedtear
2008-05-16 03:18 am UTC (link)

He had no idea what Galen was talking about and it was getting him furious at Galen for not explaining so he could understand what the hell was going on. Why he was being what seemed abandoned!

"Why wouldn't you be alive? I swear YOU'RE NOT making sense. Your being an idiot! What are you doing? Trying to make me hate you?"

Because he felt like lunging at him and perhaps the only thing holding him back was desiring to know beyond doubt: WHY!

"Is it that guy? The one you were dancing with? What was his name? Donnie? Is this about Donnie?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notthatcrazy
2008-05-16 11:00 pm UTC (link)

"Because they want to do surgery!" Galen snapped, looking at Val with no small amount of annoyance. "Because it might kill me when they do."

As for the hating? Well, "maybe you should hate me. You seem to think no one is worthy of just being liked."

But then the conversation turned to Donnie, and Galen could only turn away and go back to his packing. He didn't want to argue about any of this. Not...right now.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-17 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	"You are not going to die because you are not going to have the surgery Galen! You're not a guinea pig!" Galen said nothing of Donnie so he didn't think it was important. "Galen, stop packing. You're not leaving." Galen would have to go through the door to leave and he was barring it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-18 11:32 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm going to!" Galen snapped, looking at Val a bit darkly, "you can't stop me, either. It is my choice, and it might...make everything better. And..." And then he wouldn't need Val. Because he'd be normal again. But he did stop packing, and just zipped up his half full pack and started for the door. "Get out of the way," he said moodily. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartshapedtear
2008-05-19 12:09 am UTC (link)

"If--If! What's the alternative Galen?"

He thought for a moment, "Dying? You would rather die than live as you are?"

He didn't know what Galen was thinking, but he didn't need to be experimented on like a lab rat and he wasn't going to let him go!

He stretched one of his arms out, hand grabbing the door knob with his back against the door, "No. I'm not."

"YOU. ARE. STAYING. I'm not letting you go."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-19 12:18 am UTC (link)
	"MOVE!" Galen cried, reaching out to grab at Val's hand and try to tug it away from the door. "You can't stop me! I want to go. I want to have the surgery!" Suddenly the pit of his stomach was tight, as he wondered: what if it were tumors. The doctors, not one, knew what any of it was. Just...something not right. "I'm going to die anyway! It doesn't matter!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartshapedtear
2008-05-19 12:51 am UTC (link)

There was the proverbial calm before the storm, and then that storm seemed to be transitioning into the stage of roiling and insidious thunder. The hand that wasn't barring the door knob from the turn of Galen's hand, came up and grabbed Galen's chin, "You dare?"

His voice was as threatening as the sound of thunder, it had certainly lost it's impish charm and the sound of its boyish fascination. The nineteen year old sounded more as a man, or monster than he ever had, even when he was carving runic symbols into the flesh of whore he'd rented for a night in Paris a year before he came to the States.

If Galen had been looking into his dear boyfriend's eyes he may have perchanced a glance of a strange spark of lightening green that had flickered only for the briefest fraction of a second, "I love you. Care for you. What do I get? Not even gave the slightest hint about your plans to leave me?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notthatcrazy
2008-05-19 08:16 am UTC (link)

Galen really needed to get over his fatalistic tendencies, right after he stopped gawking at his boyfriend like a tiny mouse caught in a trap. What had been that flash?...What was with Val's voice?

"Let go," he mumbled, suddenly less confident in his ability to walk away from all this. Not, at least, in the face of fear. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry....I just have to go."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-19 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	"No," the word was insidious. His clutch on his boyfriend's chin tightened. Valentin began to step forward placing all his weight on the movement of those feet in the direction toward his beloved, forcing him further back away from he door with every step. "You don't." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-19 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	"Ow...." He stumbled back, trying to get his face away from Val's grip, but it didn't seem to be working. "You're hurting me..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-19 11:54 pm UTC (link)
	"You. will. stay." Closing the distance between himself and Galen his grasping fingers wrenched taut. "Say you will," he whispered dangerously against Galen's lips. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-20 12:00 am UTC (link)
	"No.....Stop it..." He didn't want to stay, here. Not anymore. Reaching out he pushed at Val, pulling back from Val's grip. "PISS OFF!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-20 12:10 am UTC (link)
	Anger moved him. It had to be Pasi that had put Galen in this state of mind, Pasi must have been pulling the strings because Galen had said before that he loved him, hadn't he? That bitch Pasi. He'd show her. He swept toward Galen and with colossus strength pushed Galen backwards, "Hell no." "You think it's that easy?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-20 12:14 am UTC (link)
	He fell, bouncing off the dresser before tumbling onto the floor. Glaring, though, he scrambled up and tried to dart around Val toward the door. Screw arguing, it was getting him no where. "Leave me alone." He growled, scrambling for safety. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-20 12:25 am UTC (link)
	He attempted to block Galen, reaching out grab onto whatever limb he could latch onto, "I can't." Or more like he wouldn't. "Tell that bitch to go away." He'd been trying things, oh yes he had been, he'd been digging into his spell books. "I'll find a way to rip her from your mind myself." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-20 12:30 am UTC (link)
	Val caught an arm, and Galen came to an ungraceful...full stop. But what got him wasn't Val yelling at Pasi, it wasn't even the 'I can't'. It was the threat to get rid of her. He can't she said almost panicked. We'll go back to sleep... "No!....No you can't...Just...Just let me go." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-20 12:36 am UTC (link)
	There was a strange guttural sound that sounded animalistic in his otherwise smooth but violent voice, "I will. I can. If I can't find a way myself I can pay someone else to do it." "Stay." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-20 12:49 am UTC (link)
	"No! I'm not going to stay!" He didn't care how animalistic Val was. He just...he didn't care! "Leave me alone!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-20 01:11 am UTC (link)
	Out of frustration he slammed Galen up against the wall next to the door and then pinned him against it with his weight, "You are not listening!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-20 01:14 am UTC (link)
	"You're hurting me!" His voice cracked as he screamed out, tears welling up in his eyes as Pasi panicked in the back of his mind. "Stop it!" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-20 02:05 am UTC (link)
	He growled, "Are you going to stay?" Because he mind up his mind, he wasn't letting him go, willingly. "Why do you want to leave? Why?! I bought this house for us. Us," he hissed. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-20 08:30 am UTC (link)
	"Because you hurt me!" Galen growled, trying to find some way to strike at Val. Free himself...His heart was beating so fast that he thought he'd passing out any second now, and that thought made everything so much more desperate. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartshapedtear
2008-05-21 12:53 am UTC (link)

He raised one hand and slapped Galen hard across the face, "So it's me! Again!"

He'd tried being sweet and complying to his lover's wishes but he was tired, tired of always being the bad guy. Why was he always the bad one? Why was he blamed for everything like the damned devil? Why didn't Galen want to stay with him and always found more happiness with other's he'd just ran into in stores, bars, and clubs? Those like...Donnie.

"I fucking hate loving you! I hate it! I hate you for it!"

He grabbed Galen by both shoulders and slung him around back toward the bed.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notthatcrazy
2008-05-22 08:55 am UTC (link)

He stumbled, tears finally squeaking out from his eyes as he tasted blood on his tongue. His lip was busted, but it didn't hurt as much as his poor cheek...

I can't fight like this, he thoughtful softly to himself, sinking down to the floor beside the bed. I can't win...

Resting his head against the mattress, Galen sat there a moment, before finding his weak voice, "I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

heartshapedtear
2008-05-22 11:33 pm UTC (link)

After he had watched Galen sink to the floor and had saw the blood coloring Galen's lips he looked at the few drops of blood splatter on his hand. He was initially frightened by it, but deep inside there was a part of him that was thrilled by the sight of blood; no matter who it belonged too. It made him feel sick to feel this way, even though the corner of his lip was sliding upwards into that of a grin which was quickly vanquished by the ill feeling in his gut.

He stooped in front of Galen a strange pair of emotions dancing around in his eyes; hatred and remorse it seemed were taking each their separate turns and pushing each other back and forth.

"You're not horrible," he said softly before his voice firmed and he sneered, "But you better be sorry."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-22 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry...I don't want to die. But they said there was something funny in my head, and they needed to know what, and..." He gave into the tears, curling up around his knees as he leaned against the bed. "Don't hate me..." he said finally, with such a soft whisper it was barely there over the sobs. "Please don't hate me, I'm sorry. I'm such a horrible person." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-23 12:21 am UTC (link)
	He reach out stroking Galen's hair, "If there is a risk of you dying..." He didn't want to think of it. Pain was one thing, but dying was another...Dying meant loss. He didn't want to lose Galen. "They don't need to be cutting on you. I love you, I won't lose you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notthatcrazy
2008-05-23 12:40 am UTC (link)

He didn't think about it when he suddenly flung himself at Val, clinging to the man as if his life depended upon it.

"What if it is a tumor? Or Cancer...or...or all this things that they said? I don't..." His voice hitched, and for a moment he thought of Donnie. And how he wondered, what it could have been...

If he'd met Donnie before Val.

Soulmates....

"I'm scared...."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-23 11:36 pm UTC (link)
	He hadn't expected what happened, Galen grabbing a hold of him, but it mollified Valentin enough. He stroked the other man's hair, "If it's a tumor then we should worry, but we don't know that---they don't know that and...I'll be damned if they treat you like an experiment. I want you to get better doctors." He gave Galen a tight squeeze, "I know..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-25 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	He shouldn't have been clinging to Val like he was, but the idea of letting go was unacceptable. The fact that his lip was bleed, his arms and chest bruised... His face... It didn't matter at the moment. He was afraid of something bigger than Val. "What am I supposed to do?....I don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-26 12:34 am UTC (link)
	"You're not a burden Galen. I love you," his voice returned to consoling tenderness. "We can afford better doctors." He remembered Galen telling him about how he had wanted to be an artist, "You can do anything you want. We have time. We have money. We have connections." "Would you like to do art again?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-27 10:58 pm UTC (link)
	"I don't remember how to draw well..." That was the trouble with head injuries. They ruined futures. "Maybe..." He said softly, "mm, maybe." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-27 11:05 pm UTC (link)
	"You don't have to draw well..." He knew of many artists who couldn't draw well, but it was how they put a piece together or the way they used colors that sold their work. He kept stroking Galen's hair, "Abstract can be beautiful." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-27 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	"Maybe...I don't know." It had been so long, "I could try..." Nothing wrong with trying, right? I want a hit... Yeah.... A hit sounded so good right then. Even if he'd told Leo he wouldn't do it anymore. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-27 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	"Trying is better than giving up." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-28 12:26 am UTC (link)
	"Mm." He slowly untangled himself and stood, feeling less shaking. But there was the issue of feeling bruises now. "I need a hit..." There was, really, more than one way of going away for a while, wasn't there? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	heartshapedtear 2008-05-28 12:55 am UTC (link)
	Valentin nodded slowly, still sitting on the floor, "There is some coke leftover from the last time. Downstairs in the den." He didn't think Galen would be running away now. "I don't think we have anything else unless you have something put up..." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notthatcrazy 2008-05-28 01:28 am UTC (link)
	Walking down into the main area, Galen went to find his coke. His. Only his. Only he came back to the bed room with the razor and the coke, and found a flat, clean surface. And there he made his lines. And there he snorted his coke (more than most would have been able to stomach). He just wanted it to stop. To go away. (Reply to this) (Parent)