HB fic: One Is One [Posner, general]
Title: One Is One Author: celandineb Fandom: History Boys Character: Posner Rating: general Summary: Some things Posner knows. Some he doesn't. Note: This is for kyasuriin, who likes Posner.
Posner doesn't know anymore when it started. By the time that he recognised the emotion, it had been part of him for so long as to seem to have been there always, like the tendrils of ivy climbing a wall; take them away and the building seems barren and lifeless, though if they remain they will eventually destroy every brick.
He does know that he can't tell his parents, not outright, although they may have guessed the way that the other history boys at school have. They're not an especially religious family -- high holidays, yes, and circumcisions and bar mitzvahs, but they don't keep kosher or even go to the synagogue every week -- yet to know unequivocally that their son is queer would, he worries, lead to accusations and prayers, limitations and tears.
Posner also knows perfectly well that Dakin is unattainable. Dakin has Fiona, to begin with, and Posner suspects that he could, probably will, have Irwin eventually too. He manages to ask for a second embrace, when the first is unexpectedly given, in such a way as to make a bit of a joke of the whole situation. The others make enough fun of him as it is.
He doesn't know why Scripps is the closest thing to an exception. Scripps is separated from the others, too, if apparently by choice rather than inexorable inclination. Posner half confides in him, sometimes. He half confides in Irwin, too, wanting to feel that he has something in common with someone.