HP fic: Better Than Revenge, ch. 13: The Bath Hostel [Harry/Draco, general]
Title: Better Than Revenge chapter 13, "The Bath Hostel" Author: celandineb Fandom: HP Pairing: Harry/Draco Rating: general Summary: Talking to Hermione is helpful, though Harry is disconcerted to learn that she has figured out he and Draco have been fooling around sexually. Along with Ron, the four stay in a hostel together, where Draco makes a very surprising suggestion.
"Harry?" Hermione repeated, and Harry felt her hand touch his hair, stroking it away from his forehead. "I sent Ron and Draco off to buy some chocolate, but they won't be gone for very long. Talk to me, Harry."
"Why?"
"Because you're obviously upset and talking about it might help you to make more sense of things," said Hermione.
"No," said Harry, lowering his arms to look at her. "Why did you send Ron and Draco away?"
She flushed. "I thought you'd be more willing to talk if I were the only one here. Was I wrong?"
Harry considered it. Ron was his best friend, but this was not the sort of thing Ron was good at. And Draco was part of the problem. "No, you weren't wrong."
"So what's bothering you so much?" Hermione asked. "It's not that You-Know-Who or the Death Eaters might be trying to find you through Draco, is it? Because that doesn't seem terribly likely to me, it's an awfully roundabout way to go at it. I should think it much more likely that they would simply be trying to locate Draco, and if you're there it's only chance, because you said you'd stay with him to help. Not something anyone else could expect, not even Professor Snape telling Draco to look for you."
"Unless Draco is in on it," said Harry, low. "Unless he lied to me from the start and I misjudged him."
"Do you think he did?"
"I don't want to think so. But it's possible, anything's possible with him. None of us really knows Draco, and of course he is a Slytherin – they're all keen on getting ahead, getting power, aren't they, whatever it might take," Harry said. He sat up and sighed. "I don't think I can tell what he's doing, or why."
"Yes, I would say that your judgment of Draco is probably suffering from a certain lack of objectivity just now," said Hermione, with a note in her voice that claimed Harry's attention.
"Why do you say that?" he asked suspiciously.
"Several reasons... but mostly because there's no bruise on his neck," Hermione said.
Harry blinked, confused. "Because there's not a bruise?"
"He had one when you first met us today, but by the time we got here it was gone. You must have given him that love-bite, if it had been from someone else you wouldn't have bothered about removing it," shrugged Hermione. She bit her lip and looked serious. "Harry, do you know what you're doing? What about Ginny?"
Blood heated Harry's cheeks at that. "I know," he said. "Well, no, I don't really. But Ginny... she's too vulnerable. She wouldn't be in any danger, not more than any other witch her age, if she weren't going out with me. I couldn't stand it if I were responsible... if Voldemort found out, somehow, and Ginny were hurt. He's already after Draco anyway, and..." he wound down. Hermione was staring at him.
Defensively, Harry said, "You always said that the Sorting Hat was right to encourage more inter-House cooperation."
"Cooperation, yes, but..." Hermione flapped her hands, "you doing whatever it is you're doing with Draco isn't what I had in mind and you know it. What are you doing? I don't mean physically, I don't need to know that, I mean... are you feeling serious about this? About Draco? Because I'd never have expected that of you, not at all."
"I don't know how I feel yet. I'm pretty sure Draco's serious though," said Harry, "even if I don't really understand why. He's told me some of the reasons, but... it's still too weird to think about, much less talk about, okay? And this thing about him being used to find me – I would've sworn he wouldn't do something like that, but he didn't tell me Snape had sent him to find me... how can I trust him? How can I trust my own judgment of him?"
Hermione patted him gently on the shoulder. "You've done pretty well in the past. You were right that he was a Death Eater, remember, and Ron and I were both wrong. If you believe he's really changed sides, I'll trust it's true. He's changed a lot. Maybe it began when he was alone and on the run, maybe it's only in these last few days, but this isn't the same Draco Malfoy that we knew at Hogwarts.
"So Draco's one of the things bothering you, understandably, but that can't be all. What else?"
"Snape," said Harry. He stood up and began pacing in the long grass.
Hermione got up too and went to sit on the bench again, out of his way. "What about Snape?"
"He told Draco I'd help him, even though I hated him, because I had honor and courage. How could he say that? He despises me, he thinks it's only luck that I've done what I have. Hearing a compliment from him is like finding a Flobberworm in your bed, it's disgusting," Harry said. "I feel dirty just thinking about it."
"But it's true, you know. You are helping Draco, even though it might well put you at greater risk than you already are, and you agreed to do it because it was the right thing to do, even though you detested him... then, whatever you might feel now. Just because Snape admits you have good qualities doesn't make them any less real. And it's not as if he told you – I bet he never expected Draco to repeat what he said." Hermione grinned. "I wouldn't have thought Draco would pass on a compliment to you, either."
Put like that, Harry thought, his reaction did seem a little silly and overblown. He managed a half-smile in response, and sank down next to Hermione on the bench.
"No." Harry reflected. "I think what's bothering me more than what Snape said, more than not knowing if I can trust Draco or even how I feel towards him, is the feeling that there's just so much I have to do, so much I've become responsible for. I broke up with Ginny to avoid that, and yet here I've let myself be saddled with protecting Draco instead, and I'd meant to be looking for the Horcruxes, doing something really useful toward defeating Voldemort for good. But I don't know where to start searching, or how Dumbledore thought to find them – I don't even have any real ideas on how to help Draco except to keep running. And we can't run forever, and I'm not sure if I trust him enough to tell him about the Horcruxes so that we could try to look for them as we moved around. The only people I really trust are you and Ron, now that Sirius and Dumbledore are both gone."
Something about that teased at his thoughts. He continued, "And it seems like there's something I'm not remembering. I look at Draco," he spoke the words with a careful lack of inflection, "and he reminds me of... I can't think what."
"Does he remind you of a person?" asked Hermione. "Or is it something to do with helping him, maybe something Professor Dumbledore said?"
"I don't know," said Harry in frustration. "If I knew it wouldn't bother me. I don't think."
"He reminds me, just a bit, of Sirius," Hermione said thoughtfully. "He is kin to the Blacks..." she broke off.
"Later," muttered Harry, as he too saw Ron and Draco approaching, Draco swinging a carrier bag from one arm. The two of them bore identically wary expressions, but still looked more at ease with each other than Harry would have expected.
"Chocolate, as you asked," said Draco, and gave the bag to Harry. Their fingers touched and Harry had to suppress a mad urge to grab Draco's hand. He cocked his head and squinted at Draco as the other boy gave Hermione back her purse and sat down on the grass. Draco did look something like Sirius, around the eyes especially. It was perhaps more noticeable now than ever before, now that Draco had been jolted out of his safe life as a Malfoy, a Slytherin, a prefect, and gone on the run to preserve his skin. He had not endured what Sirius had endured, of course, but...
Harry realized he had been staring at Draco just as Hermione reminded him to eat the chocolate he had taken before it melted in his hand. Ron gave him a can of orange drink as well, and Harry took an enormous swallow to wash down the sticky chocolate.
Hermione was summing up what she had said earlier, that they did not know how to remove the Mark from Draco's arm, and that they thought but were uncertain if it could really be used to trace him. She asked Draco if he would let her tell Professor McGonagall about her search for information on the Mark, in the hope that the Headmistress might know more or be able to give them some ideas.
It was clear from Draco's expression, even before he spoke, that he did not like that suggestion. "Won't you have to explain about seeing me, then? I don't much want anyone to know where I am, I don't know who I can trust, present company excepted."
"I might, she would probably be curious," said Hermione.
But it was the most likely way to learn what they needed to quickly. Hermione was clever, but Professor McGonagall had decades of study behind her. She would also have access to the portraits of the former Headmasters and Headmistresses, including Dumbledore himself, and who knew what they might suggest? So Harry urged Draco, "Let Hermione tell if she has to." He caught Draco's eyes with his own and held his gaze, willing Draco to agree.
Reluctantly Draco said, "All right, but say as little as possible."
Harry breathed out again and crammed the last bite of chocolate into his mouth, chewing it as Hermione and Ron discussed going to the Aurors and the Ministry to search for further useful information.
Then Hermione said, "Harry, I was hoping that you and Draco could try to alter the Mark. I brought several books from the Hogwarts library that might be useful, you can return them to me next time we meet."
Alter the Mark? That sounded hardly less of a challenge than getting rid of it altogether. But Hermione was throwing all of her effort into this, when it was Harry who had actually agreed to help to begin with. The least he could do was make the attempt.
Draco echoed his thoughts, saying, "I'm willing to give it a try, but don't expect much."
"It will give you both something positive to do, though, since you can hardly go talk to the Ministry," said Hermione.
"I wish I knew what Dumbledore had in mind," Harry grumbled. "He said he could hide Draco and his parents as well, but how?"
"If he knew a way, we can figure one out too," said Hermione firmly. "It may not be exactly what he intended, but that doesn't matter. So don't worry," she smiled encouragingly at Draco, who was fiddling with a candy wrapper, tearing it into long precise strips.
"Not to change the subject, but I think we've talked all this out as much as we can for now, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm hungry," interjected Ron.
"So'm I," said Harry, standing and reaching a hand down to Draco to help him up. "All this research will take you two a few days, I expect, and to be on the safe side we'll have to keep moving in the meantime. Shall we pick a few more places to go and arrange when and where to meet, or use the old DA Galleons to let you know later?"
"I'd rather not fix our plans, myself," offered Draco, dusting himself off.
"If you don't ring them in advance you might not be able to get into a hostel in the town you want, though, it's the middle of summer and they're quite often full," Hermione warned.
"We can always Apparate somewhere else and try again," said Harry.
"That's true," she said. "It doesn't much matter to me. Ron?"
"Oh, I don't care," said Ron. "We can talk it over at dinner, Muggles won't think it odd if we're just talking about places to travel, will they? As long as we don't mention how."
Draco had finished brushing all the stray leaves and bits of grass from his jeans, Harry noticed. It was amazing how the other boy always seemed to look freshly pressed. Even when he had first found Harry, and had not bathed or changed in days, Draco had been tidier than Harry normally ever was. Why was he thinking about that? Harry wrenched his attention back to their present concerns.
"I saw a pub on the way," he said. "We could eat there. Not far at all, Ron."
They ate and talked more about what Harry and Draco should do, agreeing eventually that they would not set a schedule of places to go, but simply let Ron and Hermione know sometime on Tuesday where they would be the following night. Hermione thought five days would be enough to make a good start at finding things out at the Ministry and from the Aurors. Ron, who had pulled faces at the available drinks in the pub, offered to bring a few Butterbeers along the next time.
"If you can, that'd be great," said Harry, "but don't feel you have to, if it's not convenient. Do bring them in a carrier bag or something, I think Muggles would be quite surprised if they saw the bottles."
"Of course, Harry, I'm not an idiot," said Ron, looking annoyed.
"Sorry. I didn't mean you were, you know that," Harry said. Beside him Draco had drawn in a sharp breath, but said nothing.
"Okay. I'll bring some if I can," said Ron.
On the way back to the hostel, Harry asked, "If you two are staying here tonight, are you sharing our room, or what? Hermione, I thought you'd reserved a two-person room for us?"
"Yes, I had, but yes, we are," said Hermione, her face pink. "I had to do some very fast talking and perform a Memory Charm as well, because you weren't there to agree to sharing a four-person room, but that's what we'll be doing now."
Harry felt a little nervous about that. He had never actually shared a room with a girl before, and though he had now shared one with both Ron and Draco at different times, the idea of having those two both in one room with him, much less with Hermione as well, sounded potentially disastrous. Draco and Ron had apparently gotten on all right when going to buy the chocolate, true, but what if Draco let slip with something about blood traitors, or Mudbloods? Or Ron noticed the way that Draco had been looking at Harry the last couple of days? Somehow Hermione's having figured things out did not bother Harry as much as the thought that Ron might do so. But it could not be helped. And it did mean that Draco would not be able to pick up where they had left off last night, which was something of a relief. Harry had been ready to ignore what he knew he ought to do – that is, nothing – and having a day, or rather a night, free of that pressure was a good thing. Matters were complicated enough as it was.
Stealing a glance at Draco, Harry saw that he looked slightly disappointed to hear that the four of them would share, but he erased that expression from his face as soon as he noticed Harry looking at him.
In the room they were given, two beds stood to the left of the doorway, two to the right. Harry hung back to let Hermione choose first. She sat down on the first bed on the right-hand side, so Harry took the further one on the left, putting Ron across from Harry and Draco across from Hermione. That ought to work out all right, he thought.
Ron dropped his bag on his bed and disappeared down the corridor, muttering about finding the toilet. Harry poked through his rucksack, searching for his toothbrush. He glanced up to see Hermione looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face before she, too, went out the door. Which left Harry alone with Draco. Only for a minute or two, he told himself. Either of the others could return at any time.
"Harry?" Draco's voice was muffled by the shirt he was pulling over his head. Harry caught a glimpse of the taut skin of Draco's abdomen before the green fabric came down, and a memory surfaced of how it had felt to touch him there. No. Nothing like that could happen now, it was too risky... but he found himself taking the few steps across to Draco and putting his arms around him.
Draco stood stiffly in Harry's embrace, but only for an instant, then his hands crept around Harry's waist and he turned his head to lay it against Harry's shoulder.
"We can't," Draco said.
"I know," said Harry, yet as Draco let go he leaned forward, intending to kiss him on the cheek. Draco turned his head and Harry ended up kissing his ear instead.
They both laughed, awkwardly, and were still laughing when Ron came back into the room.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
Draco stopped laughing and edged towards the door, leaving Harry to answer as he slipped out.
"Oh, er... he was just telling me about a funny thing this morning in Brighton, when I was off getting our lunch," said Harry vaguely.
"Yeah? What was it?" said Ron.
"Just a Muggle family. The father had bought ice creams for everyone and was having trouble carrying them all. Draco said he imagined putting a Levitation Charm on them so they'd follow the family down the pavement, a row of ice creams bobbing along like ducklings after their mum. It was just a funny thought," Harry said.
Ron shook his head. "You're cracking up, mate, stuck alone with Draco all week." He pulled out a pair of threadbare orange pyjamas. "Watch outside the door a minute, will you, don't want Hermione walking in while I'm changing."
"Really?" said Harry wickedly. "I wouldn't have thought you'd mind, these days."
His face bright red, Ron said, "Go on, will you? I'll be quick."
So Harry stood outside the door until Ron stuck his head out to say he was finished, thanks, and Harry could go on to the toilet. Draco passed him along the way, with a smile and a conspiratorial wink, and then to his relief Harry saw Hermione emerging from the girls' bathroom. With her there it seemed less likely there would be any trouble between the other two; Draco had been more respectful of Hermione than of Ron, and Hermione had always been able to take care of herself.
When he got back he was the only one not changed for bed, and he made them all turn their backs while he did, although Draco only pretended to, turning back after a moment. Neither Ron nor Hermione could see him, and Harry could not do anything but glare without giving Draco away. He glared accordingly, but Draco made an impudent face at him and kept watching until Harry was through and told the others so.
Harry still needed to talk with Ron and Hermione about the Horcruxes, though, without Draco hearing. He had not come up with any way to be tactful about it, so he simply said, "Draco, the three of us have to discuss something without you for a little while."
"Should I leave?" Draco sounded half-resigned, half-angry.
"No, you don't have to." Harry went and sat on Hermione's bed, beckoning Ron over. "Hermione, I'm going to cast Muffliato, that'll let us talk without making Draco go out of the room," he muttered.
She looked surprised. "You're going to use one of the Half-Blood Prince's spells? Still?"
"What else can I do?" Harry replied. "Do you know something better?"
Hermione sighed. "If you must."
He cast the spell, noticing that Draco rubbed at his ears for a moment as it took effect.
"What's up, Harry?" asked Ron.
"The Horcruxes," said Harry. "Draco showing up interrupted my plans to start figuring out where they might be and searching for them. But I'll be traveling all over the country until we can discover another solution, or unless we decide it's not necessary, so I thought maybe I could search along the way, if I told Draco what I was doing. Rather like you telling the Headmistress, Hermione, he's quick enough to realize that I'm up to something if I don't. And since his father is a Death Eater, he just might have some useful information. But Dumbledore warned me only ever to tell the two of you about all that, so... I wanted your opinions before I decided what to do."
All three of them looked over at Draco, who was toying idly with his wand, making a stray sock of Harry's drift through the air.
"I don't know," said Ron. "I talked with him a bit when we were off buying that chocolate, and first he insulted me, no surprise there, but then he apologized. I couldn't believe Malfoy was apologizing to me. Maybe that's a good sign, but d'you think it's enough to trust him with a secret like this one? Can you really be sure he won't go running off to You-Know-Who to say that you've learned about the Horcruxes? That bit of information might be valuable enough to trade for his life, even."
Ron had a point. Draco had come to Harry when he had no other resources, nowhere else to turn; would he pass up an opportunity like this, when it might save not only himself but perhaps his parents too? Harry wanted to think better of him, but was that only hope and wishful thinking, not calm good sense?
"What do you think, Hermione?" said Harry.
She had a strange expression on her face, and there was a pause before she said, "What?"
Harry repeated the question.
"Think? About what?" Hermione said vaguely.
"Think about telling Draco about the Horcruxes, what else?"
"Sorry, I just had an idea, but I need to ask Professor McGonagall about it first," said Hermione, shaking her head. "Yes, of course tell Draco."
"What?" Ron was indignant. "Why are you so sure he can be trusted?"
"I'm not, but Harry is, and it's up to him so he might as well," Hermione explained.
Harry thought this logic questionable, but it would undoubtedly be much easier to do what he had to do if he did not also have to hide it from Draco. He had no interest in waiting an unknowable length of time before he could search alone instead.
"All right, then. I'll tell him," said Harry, and performed the countercharm so that Draco could hear them again.
Before Harry could say a word, however, Draco had gotten up and come over to Hermione's bed, evidently realizing from the lack of buzzing in his ears that they had finished talking.
"I have something to say," he announced, "before you three do whatever it is you've decided. I know you don't entirely trust me," his eyes swept across them all and lingered on Ron the longest, "and I can understand that. But I thought of something I can do to overcome your preconceptions. Do any of you know how to act as Bonder for an Unbreakable Vow?"
Harry protested. There was no need for Draco to do this. But Draco was immovable in his intention, and eventually the two of them clasped hands, with Hermione holding her wand over them.
"I've read about how it's done," she said worriedly, "but never tried it, of course. I hope it works properly. All right, Draco, go ahead."
"I swear I will be loyal to you, Harry Potter, even... even above my own family. I swear I will not betray you to Voldemort or any Death Eater, or repeat to your harm anything you say. I swear I will do my best to help and protect you in any need."
With each of Draco's statements, a thin jet of red flame emerged from Hermione's wand and twined about their hands, until it appeared to be a braided rope binding them. Then it vanished.
"I don't feel any different," remarked Harry.
"You didn't take the vow," said Ron. "Why would you?" He paused, then added curiously, staring at Draco, who was swaying slightly where he stood, "Does it feel different?"
"A little." Draco's voice sounded constricted. "Not in a bad way. So, er, what was it that you three were talking about, if I'm allowed to know now, that is?"
Harry explained about the Horcruxes, with Hermione and Ron adding a few remarks as well. It took them a good twenty minutes of talk before Draco said, "So you're not sure what all of them are, much less where, and yet your plan is to find and destroy them as quickly as possible, before You-Know-Who learns what you're doing. You're mad. Absolutely barking mad." But his tone had respect in it as well as disbelief, and Harry saw that he was smiling. "What can I do to help?"
"Think back, anything your father or any of his friends might ever have said that could tell us where Voldemort might have hidden the Horcruxes," said Harry, and counted them off on his fingers. "There's probably still four of them. Dumbledore thought it likely that Voldemort would have chosen items from the founders, we know that he stole a cup that was once Helga Hufflepuff's, for instance. And then he would have wanted things belonging to Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw, too, although who knows what those could be. The only two known Gryffindor relics were in Dumbledore's office, he couldn't've made those into Horcruxes. Plus there is Salazar Slytherin's locket, that R.A.B. took; we don't know for sure if that one was ever destroyed, or where it would be now any more than the other three. They're probably all fairly small and portable, if he was hiding them. If we had any ideas about where Voldemort liked to go, that would perhaps help us guess at possible hiding places."
"Nothing comes to mind, but I'll try and think and remember anything I can," Draco promised.
Just then they heard faintly through the walls the tolling of a bell – one stroke, two. It had not seemed so late to Harry.
"We really should get to sleep," said Hermione, yawning as if the very sound of the bell had reminded her that she was tired. "Ron and I should get going early; I can't do anything much at the Ministry on a Saturday, but he can perhaps start asking Aurors and I can talk with Professor McGonagall." She slipped out of bed, her light yellow nightgown falling to her knees, and switched out the light without waiting for anyone to respond.
Harry felt the coarse fabric of the pillow slip scratchy against his face as he wrapped his arms around the pillow. This whole day had gone rather better than he had anticipated. He could hear the steady breathing of the other three as they began to drift towards sleep, Hermione's the quietest, Ron's rasping into almost-snores, Draco's a nearly musical sound. Yes, Harry decided, telling Draco about the Horcruxes had been the right decision. He was glad to have had Ron and Hermione's advice before he told, though. After the Unbreakable Vow, Harry had no further distrust of Draco's intentions, but Dumbledore had been quite insistent that he share his information only with his two best friends, so telling Draco had felt something like betrayal, even if it was in furtherance of Dumbledore's own goals. But if he should succeed in finding and destroying them all, leaving Voldemort vulnerable – oh, then it would all have been worth it.