HP fic: Can't Step Into That River Twice [Remus/Sirius, general]
Title: Can't Step Into That River Twice Author: celandineb Fandom: HP Pairing: Remus/Sirius Rating: general Summary: It can't be quite the same as it used to be, though they'll try. Note: Teenyfic (595 words) written for thistlerose, at the request of aome, who suggested Sirius/Remus, prompt "reunion (post-PoA)."
The sound of the buzzer startled Remus, even though he was expecting it. One short, two long, two short. Sirius. Remus pressed the button that would let his old friend in; it was one of the few amenities that the dingy building offered.
He opened his door and stepped into the hallway, peering down the staircase as Sirius creaked into view.
"I heard from Dumbledore," he said, "telling me to expect you today." He didn't ask why Sirius himself had not sent the message, had in fact only owled Remus a handful of times in the year since his escape. Sirius had been on the run; it was too dangerous. At any rate, that was what Remus had told himself as he read those few letters over and over.
Sirius nodded, not quite meeting Remus' eye . "I could fancy a cuppa," he said, his voice rising at the end to make it half a question. Would Remus make him one? it implied.
"Of course." Remus took a step backward. "Come inside."
Sirius sat, his expression vacant, while Remus puttered about in his tiny kitchen, boiling water, steeping tea. Sirius had always drunk it with two sugars and plenty of milk. He carried the cup out.
"It's not much of a place, I'm afraid," said Remus apologetically. "You've a choice where to sleep, though. Lumpy small sofa, or lumpy not-quite-as-small-but-shared bed."
At that, Sirius almost smiled.
Encouraged, Remus went on. "I'd suggest that Padfoot might find it more comfortable, but that's strictly up to you."
Damn. He'd meant that to be a bit of a joke, continuing the theme of the shabbiness of his flat, but Sirius' half-smile slipped away again.
"I've spent enough time as Padfoot, lately." He looked sideways at Remus.
Remus touched Sirius' knee. "I understand." The lack of human contact was one he battled with himself. It was why, in the end, he had taken a series of low-paying Muggle jobs. At least he had a chance to interact with his coworkers that way; not many wizarding establishments were prepared to hire a werewolf in any capacity, and the few that did nearly always insured that he would work alone.
"Moony..." Sirius shut his eyes. The hand not holding his teacup crept across and clutched at Remus'.
"I missed you." Remus said it simply. "Even when I believed you were the one who had betrayed James and Lily -- and I did believe, I admit it -- I still missed you. You can't imagine how I felt..."
"Can't imagine?" Sirius gripped him harder, ragged fingernails digging into Remus' flesh. "You can't imagine what I went through. God." His throat worked. "I had to stop remembering, remembering us. Whenever I did the Dementors would leach away all the happiness from those memories. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Remus whispered. "I don't expect things to be the same, of course not." He took a deep breath. "Do you -- do you still remember the promise we made?"
"From that old Muggle book?" Sirius had always developed a wrinkle between his eyebrows when he was thinking hard, and Remus was oddly relieved to see that had not changed. "All for one..."
"... and one for all," Remus finished. "We're the only two left, now."
Sirius' smile was ugly. "The next time I see Wormtail, he's dead. Harry won't dissuade me again."
"No," Remus agreed, although he hoped otherwise. "So. Lumpy sofa, or lumpy bed?"
Sirius looked doubtful. "Just how many can this lumpy bed hold?"