LotR holiday filk: Gaffer Cotman
Title: Gaffer Cotman Author: celandineb Fandom: LotR Characters: various Hobbits Rating: general Length: 205 words Summary: A Hobbit carol. Note: Based on "Good King Wenceslas."
Gaffer Cotman ventured out In the Yuletide season Thought the snow lay deep about Still he found it pleasing. Brightly shone the sun above As he piled his snow wall Safe from cold with knitted gloves Making all his snowballs.
Daddy Longbanks wandered by Going to the tavern Gaffer Cotman then let fly Safe within his cavern. What a mighty fight began Between these two old friends "Try to hit me if you can, And I will make you amends."
So spoke Daddy Longbanks loud, As he dodged and bellowed. Gaffer Cotman was not cowed -- Age had not him mellowed. Thus it stood all afternoon Till the sun was setting. News had spread through village soon And a crowd was betting.
Suddenly a cry arose, Ceased the two from squabble Goody Cotman's pointed nose Led her to the rabble. "Leave off, foolish husband mine, Leave the scene of battle -- If you'd be a child of nine, I'll find you a rattle."
Goody took him by the ear, Sent him homeward running, Though he said to her, "My dear, ‘Twas just a Yuletide funning." Therefore, gaffers, if you seek Yuletide fun in your lives Mind you act all mild and meek Lest you anger your goodwives.