HP ficlet: Dilemma [Neville, Harry, Ron, Hermione, general]
Title: Dilemma Author: celandineb Fandom: HP Characters: Neville, Harry, Ron, Hermione [H/R/H implied] Rating: general Length: 610 words Warnings: innuendo Summary: Neville has a problem and needs advice. Note: For quill_it, 100.3, prompt 34, "present". For ancarett who wanted to see what Neville would do if he received knickers in the post.
Neville was so wild-eyed when he Apparated into the back garden at Grimmauld Place that Harry thought for a moment he must have splinched himself.
"Harry. Thank goodness you're here."
"What is it, Neville? Is there something wrong?"
"It's horrible, Harry. I don't know what to do. Gran's threatening to throw me out of her house."
"What?" That seemed highly unlikely to Harry. Old Mrs. Longbottom had strong opinions, but Harry was sure that she loved her grandson more than nearly anything else. "Why on earth would she do that?"
"It's that wretched article in the Prophet." Neville's fists were clenching and unclenching as Harry watched.
"Come on into the kitchen. Kreacher will make you a cup of tea, and Hermione and Ron are there too, if you don't mind them hearing about whatever this is," said Harry.
"All right."
When Neville's cup of tea was steaming in front of him, he took a deep breath and explained.
"I don't know if any of you have had this happen, but ever since Rita Skeeter published that piece talking about how I had killed Nagini, with a photograph showing me holding the Sword of Gryffindor, I've been getting... presents." He shifted uncomfortably.
"I think I understand already," muttered Ron, but Harry held up a hand to quiet him.
"What exactly do you mean, 'presents'?"
Neville's face was flushed and miserable. "Things like, well, suggestive photographs and so forth. Some of them are really indecent."
"Anything else?" Harry asked.
Neville turned even redder. "Yes. The black leather collar and paddle really sent Gran over the edge."
Ron whistled. "A leather collar? Wicked."
"The most he's gotten is lace knickers," Harry explained.
"So you've had the same problem?" Neville sounded a little relieved by that knowledge. "That's something. At least I can tell Gran that I didn't do anything special to cause this, not if you're getting stuff too."
"All three of us have," said Hermione. "For some reason it's the boys who seem to receive the most offensive things; the worst I've had were some naughty photographs."
"It does start to get old, though," said Harry, "especially since none of us particularly wants that kind of solicitation. Well, certainly we don't, and I presume you don't either."
"No." Neville shook his head violently. "Even if it didn't upset Gran. Luna's the girl for me."
"We need to come up with a strategy to help Neville, though, so his Gran doesn't keep being bothered by this," said Hermione.
"Couldn't you just save opening any letters and packages you get until you're alone?" asked Ron.
Neville shook his head dolefully. "I don't know. Gran always wants to hear what the letters say, when they're not over familiar, that is. She likes knowing that I'm a hero to so many people."
"So open them alone, but read her the ones that are safe afterward," suggested Harry.
"And perhaps if you have us over for tea, and we talk about how we're all getting such unwanted and questionable 'presents' too, she'll understand better," said Hermione.
"That might work," Neville looked considerably calmer now. "At least, then she wouldn't think I had somehow provoked all this."
"Of course not. Probably half of her upset is just that she isn't yet used to thinking of you as grown up," said Harry.
"Yeah." Neville finished his tea. "Thanks, all of you, for the good advice. Perhaps if you come to tea tomorrow? I like to give Gran a day's warning if we have guests; she thinks it's rude otherwise. I'll manage tomorrow morning somehow."
Harry spoke for all of them. "We'll be there. Good luck, Neville. See you tomorrow."