LotR fic: Passages, chapters 16-18 [Haldir/Melpomaen, adult]
Title: Passages Chapter 16, "Settling In"; chapter 17, "An Uninvited Third Party"; chapter 18, "Conversations with Legolas" Author: celandineb Fandom: LotR Pairing: Haldir/Melpomaen, plus Legolas Rating: adult Warnings: PWP, angst Summary: Haldir and Melpomaen find their friendship developing beyond the expected as they travel from the Golden Wood to Dale and back via Mirkwood.
16. Settling In
They had been nearly a fortnight in the woodland realm, and Melpomaen was growing restless at his forced inactivity. Though his arm was nearly healed it was not yet strong enough to allow him to join Haldir among Legolas's company. He had explored the many passages that made up Thranduil's great hold, and ventured outside when the weather was fair enough. The king had been wise in his weather-telling. The fourth day after the partners' arrival a great storm had set in, blanketing all the woods in white. Though much had now disappeared – it was far too early in the season for it to endure, even so far north – drifts still lay in the shadowed hollows of the land.
Melpomaen was glad that they had shelter from the storm, and a safe place to pass the winter, but he rather wished that he and Haldir were still traveling. He had hoped, when they were assigned their quarters, that the privacy would allow more time for love, but that hope had been disappointed in part. It was evidently traditional for the guard company's members to spend most of their free hours together, eating, singing, talking, dicing. Haldir felt that they should join in, for courtesy's sake, and Melpomaen did not disagree, although it meant that he saw little of his lover except during the hours of rest. He hoped that tonight he might persuade Haldir to leave the hall early, and seek their room.
But there was still another tedious day to endure before that. He had refurbished their gear as well as he could, sharpening sword and knife, replacing spent arrows, waxing leather as needed. Fine mending was not one of his skills, but Haldir had agreed to do that in his spare time – if he ever had any, thought Melpomaen a bit sourly – and really there was little else to do. So he wandered down the corridor towards the king's great hall, deciding that at the least he could observe the activity of the court, a bustle unlike anything he imagined would be tolerated by Lord Celeborn or Lady Galadriel back in Lothlórien.
He found a conveniently-placed bench and watched as Thranduil dealt quickly with two boundary disputes, an accusation of theft, and a request by a company of Dwarves for safe-conduct along the Forest Road. A soft cough alerted him that someone was nearby.
"Melpomaen?"
It was the woman that they had brought with them on the day they arrived – Vida, yes, that was her name. He smiled at her.
"Good morning, Vida."
Her face remained serious. "I wanted to thank you again, and your friend, for bringing me here. I can't imagine what I would have done out there all alone. Baldor ought to be back any day now that the snow is melted, and I know he will want to give you his thanks, too. I haven't seen you about the halls – I have been staying mostly down in the kitchens, lending a hand to keep busy, so I haven't looked that hard, I suppose. But where do you sleep? I heard that you both were joining the guards for the winter and would be in barracks – is that not true?"
The quick speech was difficult for Melpomaen to follow, but he understood the gist of it. "Speak slower, please, Vida. I do not know much Westron."
"Oh!" She caught her breath and repeated herself. "I thank you, Melpomaen. My husband Baldor will thank you. I have been here, in the kitchens, and heard that you and Haldir were in the guards here now. In the barracks?"
Melpomaen patted the bench beside him and urged her to sit. "Yes, Haldir is a guard. I, not yet." He held out his arm in explanation. "My arm was broken, so I wait. We are not in barracks, but in a guest room. You?"
"Oh, I am staying with a kinswoman. I had not known that her husband decided to move to these parts, and take service with the Elf-king. They have two rooms, and I sleep in with their daughter, until Baldor arrives. I do not know what we will do then," she replied.
"I wish you happiness someday, and another son."
"Do you have any children of your own?" Vida asked. "I know little of the Elves and their ways, though I live now in an Elvish realm. I would like to learn more."
"We do not all live the same," Melpomaen said, "and I do not know the customs here. I am sorry. I have no children, no spouse. I work with Haldir; we have been guards together some years. When he came north, I came with him, for more safety."
"Do your people not marry, then, if they take on such tasks? I know that the king's youngest son who commands the guard is not wed, either. It seems strange to me, for most Men wish to marry as soon as they may."
He shrugged. "Depends. We do not die as Men do, so can perhaps wait longer. My father was a border guard after marriage and children. But he worked many years first. Haldir's brothers both have spouses, but not many women wish to marry forest rangers. There is always the chance of ill-luck, and death. Also it is usual for Elves for both mother and father to be home with little children."
As soon as he said the last, he regretted it, for Vida's face paled and she looked away.
"I am sorry," Melpomaen said after a moment, taking her hand. "I did not mean to remind you of your sadness."
She shook her head, ignoring the tears on her cheeks. "It is not your fault, and I cannot expect never to hear anything that might touch my sorrow." She tried a smile, saying, "But I should return now; my kinswoman will expect me for the noon meal."
"I hope to see you again," said Melpomaen, and watched her retreating form. He ought to go down to the guards' mess for the same purpose, but he lingered in the great hall instead, watching the bustle around the king.
Thranduil, free for a moment, caught his eye and beckoned him over. "I hear that you and your friend have settled in well. Do you find our halls to your liking?"
It was a relief to be able to speak in familiar Sindarin again. Melpomaen assured him that such was the case, and added that he only wished that he were able to take a turn at guard, for he found the wait while his arm healed tedious.
"And so you come here to pass the time, am I right? Well, I shall have some free moments tomorrow, and I would appreciate it if you would come to speak with me then. I had intended to talk with you or Haldir earlier, but always something intervened. In early afternoon, I think, and not here. In my chambers – they are the fourth door to the left, down that corridor," he indicated which with a wave. "I will expect you then."
Although slightly wary of what this summons might portend, Melpomaen assented with all the enthusiasm he could muster. Thranduil then excused him to go to his meal, which he did with all speed.
Sliding in next to Haldir in the company mess, he refrained from mentioning his appointment in such a public space, but murmured that they needed to talk that evening. Haldir nodded, but his eyes were questioning.
"Later," said Melpomaen, passing the bread.
As the meal drew to a close, Legolas stood to announce the next week's assignments. Haldir drew night duty. Melpomaen, of course, was not assigned to any post, but he resolved to speak with the captain immediately and ask if there were not some task or chore he might do to contribute to his keep, even with a healing arm.
Legolas looked him over. "Are you any good with figures? Our usual records clerk took leave last summer – family matters – and although I've been making a stab at it, I really haven't the time to keep it all up."
Melpomaen admitted to some knowledge of the art of mathematics, but did not conceal that he had no practical experience in such things.
This feeble protest was brushed aside. "No matter, you'll soon learn to manage. You have plenty of time on your hands to work on it. Come, I'll show you where the books are kept."
It proved to be a dark cubbyhole off the armory. Legolas bent his fair head over the desk, saying, "This pile here, these are ours. If you can get them straightened out, it would be a great service – more of a service than your fighting arm, indeed!"
Lighting a pair of stubby candles, he indicated a chair behind the desk. "Sit, sit. Be comfortable as you work. Let me know this evening or tomorrow how you're getting on, and we'll go from there."
As Legolas left, Melpomaen turned to the disorderly stack of ledgers and loose sheets. He decided that he had better look over the books first to determine the system that the former clerk had been using, before he began to make any new additions.
Evening came and he was still struggling to put the past half-year's records and receipts into some kind of order, when sounds out in the armory indicated the departure of the evening guard and the return of the day's patrol. He stretched, knuckling the small of his back, and wandered out.
Haldir was already at a table with the three Elves he had been on patrol with, but when Melpomaen arrived he made room next to himself on the long bench.
"I told them already that I wouldn't be joining them in the common room tonight," he said in low tones.
"Good. I need to consult with you before tomorrow."
Melpomaen ate quickly and left, pausing only to advise the captain quietly that for some part of the next day he was called to an audience with the king, and so would have to stop working on the records for a time.
Legolas shrugged. "They've waited this long, they can wait another few hours. You don't want to irritate my father, certainly. What does he wish to discuss with you?"
"I don't know. Perhaps just to ask about our journey and what passes in the lands outside the wood?"
"Perhaps. I would like to talk about such things with you or Haldir myself, sometime." The blue eyes gleamed. "Have you ever been to Imladris? I hear great tales of that hold."
"No, never," said Melpomaen regretfully. "Perhaps someday."
"Ah well. You can tell me of the lands you do know." Legolas smiled and let Melpomaen take his leave.
Waiting for Haldir to arrive, Melpomaen found himself tidying up their room. Working with the unfamiliar and rather disorderly records seemed to have inspired him to take control of some other part of his life. When the golden-haired Elf stepped through the doorway and turned to make sure that the latch was set, Melpomaen was kneeling beside the bed, refolding tunics to lay in the chest.
With a few quick strides Haldir was beside him. "A fair sight indeed you are, Maen." He sighed and knelt to embrace his lover. "I am truly sorry that I have been so preoccupied; there are just enough differences between here and home that I've been on edge, trying to make sure that I did nothing that might inadvertently offend or cause distress."
Melpomaen held him tightly and laid their cheeks together. "I know. But I didn't ask you to leave early to talk about that. King Thranduil asked me to attend him tomorrow, and I am sure he will wish to hear about where we come from, where we have been, what we have seen. We ought to have known this would happen. I'm worried – I expected that you would be there too, you're a much better politician than I, and I'm not sure what I will be able to say."
Haldir looked bemused. "Why, the truth of course."
"But how much of the truth? Should I tell the king that we are from Lórien and on an errand for Celeborn, to seal an alliance with Dale? I thought you did not want our origins widely known. Is it safe to tell Thranduil, even?"
"Tell him no lies, but as little of the truth as possible. You will probably have to say that we're from the Golden Wood – avoid it if you can, but don't worry if you can't. I would say, though, to try not to explain the reason for our journey. That is a matter for our own king, and Dale's king, not for the king of Mirkwood."
"I'll do my best." Melpomaen took a deep breath. "But in the meantime, since you're here, and we're alone. . . you did lock the door?"
"Yes." Haldir reached up to trace the line of Melpomaen's jaw. "We haven't had a whole evening and night to ourselves since we arrived, one way and another. Let us not let it slip past." He sat back on his heels and rose, holding a hand out to his lover. "Especially with that bathing room so convenient."
"Mm. That was a piece of luck, wasn't it? Or. . . was it luck?"
"What do you mean?"
"It does seem surprising that two strangers should be given a room such as this, don't you think?"
Haldir shook his head. "Why would it be? Legolas told us on the day we arrived that this room was rarely used, despite the bathing room, because it was so far from the main hall and close to the guards' barracks."
"I suppose. I just wonder if it was intended as bribery of some kind, that's all."
"How could it be? King Thranduil did not choose the room; he only told his son to assign us suitable quarters. There was no time for them to have arranged anything." Haldir was slowly removing Melpomaen's clothing, piece by piece, beside the warm water. He pressed a kiss on his lover's shoulder where the collarbone joined it. "If you're thinking of your appointment with the king tomorrow, I really don't believe there is anything to be concerned about."
Melpomaen sighed as he felt Haldir's lips travel up his throat and around to the lobe of his ear. He reached out to hold Haldir firmly against him. "Of course you're right."
"I know." Haldir pushed away a little, and began to pull off his own tunic, wrinkling his nose. "Did my other uniform come back from being laundered?"
"I think so."
"Good, then I can let this one go. Erentar put me on the long patrol today, not gate duty, and I got rather warm – it was a fine sunny day, no wind." He tossed the offending garments into a corner and slipped into the water, smiling at Melpomaen. "Come on in, the water's fine."
The dark Elf climbed in. He leaned over to kiss Haldir quickly, then said, "Would you mind giving me a bit of massage? Working over that desk all afternoon has cramped my back – I'm not used to sitting still that way."
"If you like. Turn around, then."
Melpomaen sat tailor-fashion in front of Haldir, the water lapping near his shoulder blades.
"Not as easy with the water so high, but. . . the warmth ought to relax your muscles," said Haldir, digging his thumbs into the muscles along Melpomaen's spine. "Yes, like that. Close your eyes and relax, meldanya."
Melpomaen did as Haldir bid him, letting the dark behind his eyelids sparkle with every firm touch that seemed to chase the tightness away. Gradually his thoughts calmed and he rested, content in mind and body.
Haldir could tell by his lover's breathing that he was on the edge of dreams, and though loath in a way to disturb him, he did not want to lose this chance for an evening alone together. His kneading motions slowed and stopped, and he waited patiently for Melpomaen's awareness to return to him. When he felt the younger Elf shift position, he was ready.
"Here, Maen." He took up the soap and began to wash Melpomaen's back and arms, urging him to turn so that he could reach every part of his body. When he had finished, Melpomaen did likewise, admiring as always his lover's muscled frame.
"Would you like me to wash your hair?"
"Please," and Haldir leaned back to wet it thoroughly.
Both clean, they moved of one accord to dry off and return to the main room. Haldir sat on the floor next to the bed as Melpomaen combed his hair, smoothing each golden strand until the whole shone as if the sun had entered deep underground.
The soft glancing touches on his throat and neck and ears roused Haldir's desire, and when Melpomaen would have begun to braid his hair, he pushed the deft hands away and pulled himself onto the bed, drawing the other down with him until they lay curled together, Haldir behind Melpomaen and tracing lazy circles across his chest.
"This is my joy," he whispered. "The greater for knowing that its time will end."
Melpomaen closed his ears to the second part, only reaching around behind to hug Haldir more closely to him.
Haldir took the flask of sweet oil from the night-table and poured a bit into the palm of his hand, coating his fingers, then nudged one fingertip just barely inside Melpomaen's tight entrance. His other arm snaked between ribs and clean linen to grasp waiting hardness. At that touch Melpomaen sighed and pushed back, opening gladly to Haldir's finger.
Heat surged through Haldir's limbs, pooling at his groin, as he pulled out and then filled his lover again, this time with his own rigid shaft. The sensation as Melpomaen clamped down, then relaxed, almost undid him, but he held back, penetrating and withdrawing in long strokes matched by the movements of his hands.
The bed frame creaked softly to the rhythm of their love, luckily not loudly enough to be heard by any chance passer-by in the corridor.
Haldir blew aside the dark hair before him and kissed Melpomaen's neck with biting kisses, desperate in his growing need. He thrust deeper, faster, feeling his lover yield to him.
"Ah. . . Maen," he gasped, and his seed flooded into the warm dark recesses. Melpomaen was still hard in his hands as he withdrew.
"I want to have you, too, Dír," came the muted voice. Melpomaen turned to face Haldir. "I want to see you."
Haldir reached for the oil again, handing it over, and rolled onto his back in the center of the bed, legs parted and raised, as Melpomaen ran a slick finger along the crease between thigh and groin and to the puckered hole, then with one swift yet gentle thrust, plunged his cock deep within.
He would have thought himself spent, but the nudges against his most sensitive spot as Melpomaen moved caused him to harden again. He looked up at his lover's intent face and smiled. Melpomaen's loose hair hung down on either side, creating a space where nothing could be seen except each other.
"You are the brightest star in my heaven," he said.
"You are my Silmaril," Melpomaen replied. That struck Haldir as an ill-omen, but he concealed his misgivings and surrendered to the feelings surging once again. (1) He used one hand to cup Melpomaen's buttocks and the other to tease himself against Melpomaen's stomach. His very bones felt turned to liquid by the intensity of loving desire he saw in Melpomaen's eyes, desire that he knew was reflected in his own.
A few last strokes and Melpomaen reached his climax, followed a moment later by Haldir's second. They lay, breathing ragged, entwined.
"If we could have this every night. . ."
Haldir twisted uncomfortably. "You know there are good reasons not."
"I know." A sigh, then, "But if we could manage it on the journey, surely we can do so here?"
"We do at least get to sleep together," Haldir pointed out. "Can't do that while traveling, not when there are strange creatures about,"
"True enough – I suppose I'm just greedy to wish for both."
"I wish for both too, I just don't think it would be wise."
Melpomaen now was the one to move in rejection. "I'm tired of having to be wise, meldanya. I cannot tell you how tired of that I am." He sat up. "I want to be foolish in love, just for a little while. Is that such an impossible thing?"
Haldir's heart turned over at the sadness on Melpomaen's face, but he could not change the ways of the world. "For us, I think it is," he whispered, swallowing hard. He too sat up and took Melpomaen in his arms, holding him tightly.
As they embraced, a soft knock sounded on the door.
"Haldir?"
It was the voice of Legolas.
"May I come in?"
Footnote: (1) The Silmarils, made in Valinor by Fëanor, were jewels that held the light of the Two Trees of Yavanna, and it was foretold that the fate of Arda – earth, air, and water – lay locked within them. Morgoth, the Great Enemy, stole the Silmarils, with the result that many of the Noldor returned to Middle-earth and fought great wars to repossess the jewels. The full story is of course told in The Silmarillion, and was undoubtedly well-known in Lórien due to the presence there of Galadriel, a close kinswoman of Fëanor and one of the Exiles. Haldir would have thought Melpomaen's mention an ill-omen because the theft of the Silmarils had provoked not simply war but also the Kinslaying, when the departing Noldor fought the Teleri at Alqualondë and seized their ships.
17. An Uninvited Third Party
The two Elves looked at each other, aghast. After an instant Haldir swallowed and said, "Just a moment, sir." He climbed out of the bed and held out a hand to Melpomaen, whispering to him to go into the bathing room and toss out a towel, then close that door. Quickly he pulled the bed to rights, and wrapping the towel around his hips, opened the door to the corridor.
Legolas entered, raising an eyebrow as he saw Haldir's state of undress. His glance flickered to the closed door of the bathing room, but his face remained grave.
"I am sorry to disturb your evening, but I wanted to ask your advice."
"Mine? Whatever could you need my advice about?"
"You were recently in Dale, were you not?"
"I was," acknowledged Haldir. "What of it?"
The other Elf paced around the room. "You know, then, that Dale is only recently rebuilt under King Bard, after the slaying of the dragon Smaug. You may not have heard all the details of the battle against the Goblins and Wargs that followed, in which my father and our people fought alongside the Dwarves and Men. Suffice it to say that many fell in that fight, and although we were cheered by the crushing of the evil creatures and the death of the dragon, still my father holds the Dwarves in some measure to blame for our losses. He makes no overt sign, save for one; though Elf or Man may beg shelter from him and he will give it freely, if a Dwarf should do the same, he levies a heavy toll in silver and gold. I would like to persuade him otherwise, lest he get a reputation throughout Erebor for greediness, but I have spent little time beyond our borders and my opinion will carry little weight."
"What would you have from me, then?"
"Tell me, Haldir, do you think that my father does well in this matter?" Legolas's fair face was troubled. "How think you I might convince him to change his custom in this?"
Haldir gestured to a chair and urged Legolas to sit. Going over to the chest and pulling out a tunic, he said, "I agree that for a king to appear miserly rather than generous is a blow to his reputation. But I cannot see that my persuasion would make a difference. Or are you asking me to give you ideas with which you might argue?" With his back to the other, he slipped into fresh garments.
Legolas nodded.
"You might. . ." Haldir was interrupted as the door to the bathing room opened and Melpomaen stepped out, fully dressed but with damp hair.
"Haldir, where did –" Melpomaen cut off. "Good evening, Legolas, sir."
"Good evening, Melpomaen. Your friend and I were just talking about the problem of Dwarves."
"What problem?"
"Ah, only that my father treats Dwarves quite differently from Elves or even Men, and I am not sure that this is a good idea. I was asking Haldir what he thought."
"I believe that the best thing to do would be to bring it up in the context of finance generally," said Haldir. "King Thranduil is not charging the Dwarves for hospitality to raise money, is he? It is solely because he does not quite trust them, and still holds them to blame for your recent losses. But that makes little sense; surely it was not Dwarves who killed your people? Perhaps if you suggested that he ask all guests to pay – and when he objected, inquire why it should be necessary to charge Dwarves, in that case?"
"Perhaps," said Legolas doubtfully.
"I will be speaking with the king tomorrow," Melpomaen pointed out. "If you wish, and if the conversation falls that way, I could mention that the Men of Dale treat all alike. Was there not a Dwarf in King Bard's court, a messenger from Dáin, when we were there?"
"You were staying in the king's household?" Legolas inquired. "What errand had you in the city that brought you there?"
Haldir shot a repressing glance at Melpomaen, who flushed slightly. "I had a message to deliver to someone in the king's household, and we were offered hospitality," Haldir said, not wishing to make either the identity of that someone, or the significance of that message, known before its reply had reached the Lord of the Golden Wood, whose concern it was.
"Well, that would be an argument which might do some good; my father would not wish to fail in open-handedness next to the king of Dale." Legolas paused. "It is not that he is really greedy, you know, nor even that he hates Dwarves – mistrusts them, perhaps, but that is no more than is to be expected in these perilous days. I think it is only that he does not quite realize what he is doing, and how it might seem to others."
"Of course," assented Haldir, and Melpomaen murmured agreement.
Legolas stood and smiled. "Thank you for your counsel, friends. I do apologize for having intruded like this."
With his hand on the knob, he spoke, seemingly to the wooden doorframe. "I would suggest that you make sure to cap that flask of oil, though." And with that he left.
Haldir sat heavily on the bed.
"He knows," said Melpomaen.
"It seems likely so."
"But he did not act unkindly. Do you think, perhaps, Thranduil's folk do not see a pairing of two binn in the same light as they do in Lórien?"
"I don't know," said Haldir. "It's not exactly something that the guards converse about on duty, after all! Certainly I haven't brought up the subject."
"Maybe you should. . . or I should. Somehow. If we are to be here for months yet, it would reassure me to know how they feel here."
"Perhaps," but Haldir's eyes were worried. "I don't think that Legolas will say anything, at least not intentionally."
Melpomaen stretched. "No, he won't, I feel sure." He crawled across the bed and knelt behind his lover, wrapping his arms around Haldir's chest. "I think I'm glad he knows," he whispered in Haldir's ear.
"Why in Arda do you say that?"
"Because I've seen him look at you. Oh, nothing too overt, but he pays just a little more attention to you than to any of the other men in the company, and I don't think it is just because you are a stranger. He doesn't look at me in the same way. No, Dír, I think it's that lovely golden hair of yours," he ran his fingers through the gleaming mass, "or maybe your handsome face," drawing a finger along the line of Haldir's jaw and down his neck, "or just the way you move, with that wild-animal, danger-leashed tension." He ran his hands across Haldir's chest and down to the firm thighs.
Haldir chuckled. "I think you are mistaken, Maen. I certainly have never noticed any such thing."
"You're too modest. I'm sure I've seen some appreciative looks that went a bit further than simply admiring your skill with a sword."
Abruptly pulling away, Melpomaen sprawled on the bed, gazing up at the ceiling.
"What is it?"
"Just wondering. . . if they do not mind, here, such a bonding as ours, would you not consider staying?"
"We cannot stay forever," Haldir reminded him. "As soon as the spring comes, I at least must return to Lórien with the message from King Bard."
"Not stay, then, but we could come back, afterward?"
"But we don't even know if we would be accepted, Maen."
"But if we were."
"I don't know." Haldir shook his head. "I would have to think about it. You know that I love you, you know that I want to be with you for the rest of our days – but I miss our home, I miss the Golden Wood, and my brothers and family. It would be hard to leave them forever, too."
"I see," said Melpomaen, his voice husky. He flung one arm over his eyes.
Haldir stretched out beside Melpomaen and pressed against him.
"I am not saying no," he whispered. "I don't want to say no. But I have to tell you the truth, meldanya. Even if it seems that others – not just Legolas, but all of Mirkwood – would accept the notion of a pair of bonded binn, I find this land strange. My forefathers may have lived here, but they are long gone, and I am a child of Lórien. I could live here for a time, and with you I could be content, but I would still miss my homeland. Would you not also someday yearn to see a mallorn once more?"
Melpomaen was tense beside him. "I hold trees less dear than I hold you, Dír." He took a deep breath and sighed. "But you are right that we can make no decisions yet in any case. We will see what gossip and common wisdom have to say about such matters." He uncovered his face and pulled a wry grin. "Though I don't think questioning King Thranduil tomorrow would be the best idea!"
Haldir lifted a hand to brush his lover's dark hair away from his thin face. "Probably not. But I will see what I can find out, too."
Taking Haldir's hand, Melpomaen said, "Yes. If you happen to see Legolas alone. . ."
"I will discreetly inquire if he has anything he needs to tell me about local custom, perhaps. Or something of the sort."
"All right." Melpomaen moved their joined hands down to brush suggestively across his groin. "I must say, seeing Legolas look at you made you look even better to me as well."
Haldir laughed again. "I still think you were seeing things that weren't there, but I'm flattered." He swung a leg across Melpomaen's hips and half-knelt, hands on either side of the other's head. "Since we're unlikely to be interrupted again. . ."
He leaned down and kissed his lover unhurriedly, tracing the outline of Melpomaen's lips with his own tongue, then gently parting them to dart within and probe the moist recesses of his mouth.
"This is for you, Maen," he said, pulling back. "What would you have me do?"
Melpomaen's eyes opened. "Let's go back into the bathing room." As they rose, he reached for the oil flask and capped it.
Undressing for the second time that evening, they slipped into the water and sat facing each other, their legs entwined, embracing. The water lapped gently around their chests and shoulders as they kissed, hard mouths softening in the caress of tongues and lips. Haldir took the initiative, teasingly nibbling, then unexpectedly thrusting his tongue into Melpomaen's mouth to capture his breath.
The press of Haldir's leg between his thighs, against the base of his groin, the feel of Haldir's strong arms around him, the taste of Haldir's mouth in his own – Melpomaen's excitement rose with each moment.
Haldir could feel Melpomaen hard against his own hardness, but repeated, "What do you want me to do, Maen?"
"Just hold me like this for now; I like the way you feel against me. But I like you inside me too."
"Ah, then." Haldir ran his left hand down Melpomaen's back, cupping his buttocks, then slipped a single finger inside, feeling for the spot that he knew would give his lover the greatest pleasure. He caressed the place even as he used his other arm to draw Melpomaen's body more tightly against him.
Melpomaen groaned, burying his face in Haldir's shoulder.
"Yes? Is that what you want?"
Melpomaen managed a nod, too intent on the sensations to speak.
Haldir turned his head slightly and bit Melpomaen's neck. "Anything you want, Maen," he promised. "But you have to tell me."
Another nod, then Melpomaen said, "Touch us both."
As Haldir continued to move his finger inside Melpomaen, he leaned a bit away and slid his other hand between their bodies, pressing their two members together and rubbing with a firm stroke. The warm water felt different from the oil they generally used for their lovemaking, and he enjoyed the unusual sensation. Melpomaen was thrusting slightly against him, urging him on.
Knowing that he was giving such pleasure to his lover increased his own passion, and Haldir had to work hard to hold back until Melpomaen was ready. He could feel the blood pounding between them, beating in syncopated delight as they moved together.
"Oh, Dír, now," came the throaty whisper, and Haldir flickered his finger, feeling Melpomaen tense and still, then quiver as he pumped his release into the water. Seconds later Haldir reached his own peak, and let his hand float away to curve around Melpomaen's back, carefully pulling the other finger out past the tight barrier.
They leaned together, tiredly happy, held up by each other and by the water itself. At last Haldir said, "Comfortable though this is, meldanya, I don't think we'd better sleep here, or we risk drowning by accident."
Melpomaen agreed sleepily, and they climbed out, taking turns drying each other off before collecting their clothes and emerging into the outer room. Melpomaen turned down the bed and slid between the cool linen sheets, waiting for Haldir to blow out the lamp.
"What's this?" Haldir bent down and picked up a piece of parchment next to the door. He read it, biting his lip.
"What's what?" asked Melpomaen, who had already closed his eyes.
"Nothing, we can talk about it in the morning," said Haldir. Dousing the light, he stretched out next to Melpomaen, but lay wakeful, wondering how to respond to a note that read, "See me before you go on duty tomorrow. L."
18. Conversations with Legolas
Melpomaen yawned and stretched luxuriously, enjoying the fact that he could sleep comfortably in a bed with Haldir, neither of them having to keep awake for safety's sake. Haldir was still asleep, curled up facing away. Melpomaen snaked one arm around his lover's waist and snuggled close.
"Dír," he murmured. "Time to wake, meldanya."
Haldir grumbled in his throat and curled up even tighter.
"You have to wake up, love," persisted Melpomaen. "Don't you have guard duty this morning? Your turn on night watch doesn't start till tomorrow. And I need to work on the company records before keeping my appointment with King Thranduil. Besides, I'm hungry, and they'll stop serving breakfast in the guards' mess soon. Come on, Dír."
At last Haldir uncurled and sat up crossly. "All right, I'm awake." He went to the clothes-press, shivering a little on the stone floor, and pulled out clothes for each of them, tossing Melpomaen's to him. "Here."
He saw the scrap of parchment on the table and hastily thrust it into a pocket. He would go to see Legolas after breakfast.
The two Elves were relieved to see that they were not the last to arrive for the morning meal; they each collected a bowl of porridge and a handful of raisins to sweeten it, and found two places together at a long table. Morning was usually a quiet time, even among the guards, and they said little as they ate. Melpomaen finished first and went off to delve once again among the ledgers and scrolls in the dusty room adjoining the armory. Haldir ate more slowly, unsure of why his captain wished to see him, his mind worrying over possibilities like a wolf gnawing over old bones. He could not postpone the meeting forever, though, and eventually he tapped at the appropriate door.
"Come inside," he heard Legolas say.
Haldir advanced a few feet into the room and stopped.
"Shut the door and come sit down," Legolas told him. He was seated in a comfortable-looking chair carved from dark wood, in front of a fire crackling redly behind a polished copper grate. Behind him stood a heavy table, piled high with scrolls. He gestured for Haldir to sit in a similar chair on the opposite side of the fireplace, the mantel of which held several glass sculptures, each in a different jewel-toned color. A worn carpet patterned in leaves softened the floor between the seats.
Sitting stiffly on the edge of the chair indicated, Haldir looked at Legolas and waited.
Now that Haldir was there, Legolas seemed at a loss for words. He stepped over to the table and picked up a roll of parchment, fidgeting with it for a moment, then replaced it deliberately on the pile. Still with his back to Haldir, at last he spoke.
"Am I correct in what I believe about you and your friend Melpomaen?"
"That depends on what you believe," said Haldir carefully. "Tell me what it is, and I will tell you if you are correct."
Legolas whirled around, his eyes intent on the other's, his expression set. "I believe that you and he are lovers, and that wherever you come from, that is why you left, since you have said nothing of the matter. Did you think to hide here in Mirkwood?"
Haldir shut his eyes against the scorn he thought he detected in his captain's face. "No. I mean, yes, we love each other, but we did not come here because of that. As I told your father when we first arrived, after Melpomaen was injured on our journey, we decided that the north road through the forest would be safer than the old Dwarf-road in the south, and we did not realize how advanced the season was. We did not seek to take advantage of King Thranduil's hospitality. If our presence is unacceptable, though, we will depart." Swallowing, he opened his eyes again to see Legolas's face only inches from his own.
The other held his gaze for a long moment, then walked away. Haldir was surprised when he heard the latch on the door being thrown shut, and yet more surprised when Legolas came to stand behind his chair and rested his hands on Haldir's shoulders. Haldir could feel Legolas's hands tremble slightly as they moved inward to press against his neck.
"Sir," he said, apprehensive. "What are you doing?"
A finger traced across his throat, then abruptly Legolas pulled away and went back to sit again facing Haldir.
"You love each other, you said. I ask again, are you lovers? No, you need not answer. I have no doubt but that it is so. What I mean to ask is rather, are you bonded?"
Haldir looked at Legolas curiously. "How could I be Maen's lover without a bond between us?"
Legolas sighed. "Think on it, Haldir. When is the bond created between benn and bess? When they are fully joined for the first time in the act of love. Till then, whatever promises have been given, whatever touches exchanged, the bond is incomplete and may be severed with no lasting repercussions. It is likewise with two binn, as you should know. So I ask again, are the two of you bonded?"
"Why does it matter to you whether we are or not?" demanded Haldir in a heated tone. "I have admitted that we love each other, and that should be enough justification for you to have us leave, if you wish. The rest is none of your concern."
Legolas's face reddened. "It matters not for that reason. I will not share your secret further, if you would have it kept, nor is it cause for you to leave."
"Then why, by all the stars, did you bring me here to ask me such questions?"
With a look of shame, Legolas said, "Because. . . because I hoped you were not. Because I think we are much alike, you and I."
Suddenly Haldir comprehended, and his anger left him. He knew all too well how Legolas must feel at this moment, forced by desperation to say such a thing to a near-stranger.
"Why do you think so?"
"I have never yet seen a bess for whom I felt any affection like what I have felt towards my male companions. I like talking with biss, I enjoy their company, I even appreciate their beauty, but only in a detached way – my breath never catches, my heart never beats more quickly, my desires never stir. But as I began to know you, Haldir. . ." his voice trailed off in misery, then he burst out again, "And all the worse that you are under my command. I know it is wrong of me to feel this way, but I do not seem to be able to do otherwise. Yet I like and respect Melpomaen also. What am I to do, Haldir?"
The Lórien Elf heard him out. "I cannot tell you with whom your destiny lies, Legolas, not even if it will indeed be with a benn rather than a bess. Perhaps Ilúvatar has a strange fate in store for you."
"Whatever it is, it cannot lie with me," he continued with a hint of regret in his voice, "for as you believed, Melpomaen and I do share the bond of lovers. I am sorry that I must disappoint you, and I hope you will not hold it against me, or him? If you want to talk about such matters, I at least would be happy to do so – I lived near to despair for many years, myself, for among my kin and people those suspected of such feelings are despised, even outcast. You were not entirely wrong in thinking that this contributed to our willingness to wander, though it was by no means the sole reason. But I, at least, was happy to be away for a little while from those who would think ill of me for who I love. Do folk not think similarly here?"
Legolas replied, "Not entirely. It is not highly thought of, that two binn or two biss should form a bond, but it is acknowledged as something that may happen. Those who bond in that way are if anything pitied, since they will never have children. So some conceal their feelings, rather than experience such condescension. It is often known, but ignored in courtesy." He smiled a little, ruefully. "The causes for such a bond are on occasion debated among us, as a rhetorical point – how else, think you, I came to know so well how two binn may be bonded? Some who debate undoubtedly follow such a path themselves, but I might not know for certain in every instance. I would not dare to assume that one with no acknowledged mate had found another like himself, though that could well be the case."
"I see. Your people clearly have ideas that differ from those I am accustomed to. I am curious as to how they were developed, and justified."
"Some evening this winter, I am sure it will be discussed among the guard, as it is a perennial topic," Legolas promised. "But Haldir, I would take it as a favor if you would say nothing of this conversation, treat me no differently, as I will treat you just as any other guardsman and friend. I should not have made my feelings known to you, in the circumstances; they verge on the dishonorable and put you in an awkward position."
Haldir frowned. "Melpomaen may ask something; he was near asleep when I saw your message, but he may recall and inquire about what you wanted. I will not lie to him, but I am sure he would not share your secret further."
"If you trust him – well, I trust you," said Legolas. "I'm afraid I've made you late for your turn at duty. I need to check on Melpomaen, too, and make certain he has everything he needs for his work."
He rose and held out his hands to Haldir. "Thank you."
They left Legolas's room together, Haldir departing to take up his watch, Legolas to find Melpomaen.
The latter had spent his morning still sorting through the jumble of sheets and ledgers, trying to put them in some kind of order. He looked up in relief as Legolas appeared in the doorway.
"Sir, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to get these organized by time to begin with, but a number of the loose leaves have no indication of any date. Can you help me with that, or send for someone who might know?"
"I can try – it is more likely that I would know what orders were made when than any other. In fact, it is probably my haste and lack of attention that has caused your difficulties." He removed a stack of books from the second chair in the room and sat down.
The two of them worked through the pile of undated items for an hour or more, Legolas skimming through and giving his best guess at the date for each, Melpomaen noting it down in any convenient empty margin and filing each leaf in order with the rest. When they reached the bottom of the stack, Melpomaen thanked the captain.
"I believe I can get this into shape pretty well now, thank you." He paused, and cleared his throat.
"Yes?" Legolas was rising to go.
"Well, sir, I'm not sure if I ought to say it, but about last night. . ."
Legolas sat back down and braced himself.
"You were asking about how to get King Thranduil to treat the Dwarves more equitably," said Melpomaen.
Legolas leaned back in relief. "Yes?"
"As you know, I am to speak with him today, at his request, and I just wanted to say again that if you wished I could try to turn the conversation to such matters," Melpomaen volunteered.
"That is a kind offer, but you need not do so. Besides, my father rarely lets another control his conversations – it is more likely that he will get you to speak on topics of his choosing, instead. I do thank you for the thought, though."
"As you wish," shrugged Melpomaen.
Legolas hesitated a moment, then said, "I'm going to rearrange some duty schedules, Melpomaen. You won't be on regular duty for some weeks more, of course, and working with the ledgers is something that can be done at whatever time of day or night you may prefer. But I would enjoy getting to know you and Haldir a little better before you leave. He was due to take a turn on the night watch, but I think I will shift him back so that he and I are off-duty at the same time."
Melpomaen shot a glance at him, wondering. Aloud he said, "I'm sure that Haldir would willingly take on whatever duties he is assigned, as I would."
"Oh, I have no doubt of that," said Legolas hastily. "I only want to make sure that I don't choose an inconvenient moment to try to talk again, as I think I did last night, when I apparently interrupted your bathing."
"Bathing. Yes," Melpomaen frowned, then said bluntly, "Sir, I'm not always good at reading between the lines. Are you trying to ask me something, or tell me something? Because I don't know if I understand what you are getting at."
Legolas laughed softly. "I suppose I ought to have expected directness from you. And after I asked. . ." he broke off. "Very well, let us be more open with each other. Melpomaen, I believe there was more than just bathing going on in your room last night."
Melpomaen straightened, saying with pride, "And if so?"
"Nothing, if so. If you wish to remain, shall we say, discreet, even if it is not entirely in your nature to do so, then you may rely on me to remain silent as well." He closed his mouth abruptly, before adding anything else.
Inhaling deeply, Melpomaen replied, "Do you mean to say that you are not troubled that Haldir and I. . ."
Legolas cut him off. "I cannot say that I am untroubled by it, but I would not see you, hm, gain a reputation you might not wish. What harms no one is between you and your conscience, as far as I am concerned. That is all I wish to say on the matter for the time being."
"Very well." Melpomaen stood. "I should probably go and make myself ready for my audience with the king, if you will excuse me."
"Indeed, go – you would not wish to be late." Legolas waved Melpomaen out the door, pausing thoughtfully for a few moments before he himself left, wondering what he might have set in motion by this morning's conversations.