InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Is that a sandwich?"

wildhairedboy (wildhairedboy) wrote in castagain,
@ 2008-01-20 00:00:00

Who: Colin and Cutter
Where: Kitchens
Why: Cheer the boys up
Rating: Pg-13

Cutter poured two glasses of apple juice and brought the entire carton over to the table he'd decided to take over for a few minutes. The kitchen elves were friendly and had already come up with cake and cookies and a giant brownie that he would have gotten hard over if it had weed in it. But it looked damn good anyway, so he wasn't too disappointed.

If possible, Colin sounded even more down than Cutter felt. After telling James and Tucker about what had happened with Vaelon he felt a little better. It didn't make the situation any better, but it felt good to know that he wasn't alone in it and the people that were important to him understood. He really wanted to tell Colin, but he honestly wasn't sure what any of it meant and it seemed too close to Colin somehow. It also felt as if he'd be stealing the boy's issue if he brought it up now, especially when he wasn't sure it meant anything.

He heard a noise behind him and turned, smiling at his friend.

"Hey, Colin. I've got sweets and apple juice. Join me in drowning our misery."

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creevesmeout
2008-01-20 05:48 am UTC (link)

Colin kind of hated himself sometimes. Well, that was established, really, by the enormously depressed journal entry he'd made not too long earlier, but it was especially true as he rubbed his face of tear-marks and tried to spell his eyes less puffy. Cutter was the last person it was safe to be around with this honesty thing running about, but still -- Colin couldn't help it. Five years living with a person and you start to enjoy their company, you know? Which was the problem. Colin enjoying Cutter's company too much. He just hoped Cutter wouldn't ask -- he'd promised, after all, and Colin trusted his word.

Colin reached the kitchens later than Cutter despite the fact that the Hufflepuff dormitory was obviously far closer than the Quidditch Pitch, having been distracted by Gertie and his absolutely miserable appearance (Richey would have been ashamed). He smiled at the sight of his friend, honestly enough despite the fact that his eyes were still a bit red, and gave a little wave.

"Gladly." He slid to a seat, reaching for the glass of apple juice before pausing and just grabbing the carton, taking a long drink and nursing it in his lap. "Merlin," Colin sighed, looking at the table rather than Cutter directly, "I needed that."

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wildhairedboy
2008-01-20 06:33 am UTC (link)

Colin looked miserable. He'd obviously been crying and his eyes were red rimmed. Cutter wondered if he'd told someone else about his sexuality and it hadn't gone as well. That anyone could look at Colin and purposefully hurt him was beyond unbelievable as far as Cutter was concerned. Colin was fun, caring, playful, and so vulnerable beneath it all that Cutter wanted to protect him from the world ... even if he couldn't manage to protect himself.

"Are you all right? Really, mate. It's bullocks seeing you this upset. Did someone ... do or say something?"

He split the brownie in half and offered the other side to Colin, an open smile on his face. He felt a little ashamed of himself for being so depressed when Colin had obviously gone through all this before and kept his sense of humor about it. That he was upset now, after he'd come to the decision that he was gay and had started telling people made Cutter wonder what exactly was upsetting him so much.

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creevesmeout
2008-01-20 06:47 am UTC (link)

Colin started to reply with an arbitrary 'I'm fine', but what came out instead was "I feel like death." He took another swig from his carton of apple juice. "Sorry. Honesty thing, you know." Colin reached out to take the proffered brownie half and nibbled it quietly before replying.

"It's -- it's not anyone. I'm just a little stressed, yeah?" Colin smiled, a little less honestly now and more in a 'don't-worry' sort of way, taking another small bite of brownie and large gulp of apple juice. God, he loved apple juice. "It's this magic thing," Colin sighed, twisting his mouth into an awkward line and barely biting back a curse. Colin Creevey did not curse on general principle, but he'd been doing it a lot more lately. Which didn't help with his apparent identity crisis. "It's just... throwing things off. But what about you, yeah? I feel like a terrible mate for not noticing you weren't quite on."

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wildhairedboy
2008-01-20 07:29 am UTC (link)

"It's okay. Why death? Aren't you sleeping well? Need a sleep draught? I could get one from my da."

He wasn't sure that he believed Colin's explanation, but he didn't want to push. Especially when the truth compulsion would make it hard for him to really lie. He didn't want to push Colin into saying more than he wanted to. After all, he had his own secrets.

"It's just, I've been feeling weird. Not myself, you know? But, ah, let's talk about you. Not me. How did you know that you liked ... well, you know, blokes? Have you ever ... done anything? With a bloke, I mean."

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creevesmeout
2008-01-20 07:33 am UTC (link)

"I've been sleeping good enough, but I just feel drained, you know? That would -- that would be great, actually." Colin nursed his carton thoughtfully. "I know I've said it before, but you really are a mate, Cutter."

Colin let out a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding when Cutter dropped the subject, instantly turning bright pink when Cutter introduced a new one. "I -- ah. Well. I mean. Sort of in the same way you knew you liked birds, yeah? I just always did." Colin ran his hand through his hair, unable to really filter what he was saying. Stupid truth thing. Under any other circumstances, Colin would have gone absolutely mum. "And I've -- I mean. I don't think I should... talk about anything I might have done. You know?" Colin took a hurried gulp of apple juice, wiping his mouth on his sleeve and grabbing a cookie from the table.

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wildhairedboy
2008-01-20 07:41 am UTC (link)

"So, you've never liked girls even a little? You don't like both? You like only blokes? But why? Is it ... physical? Or ... explain it to me?"

He knew it was beyond selfish to ask. He wanted to know for himself but Colin probably wasn't ready to talk about it yet. If he were a true mate he'd just drop it and they could talk about anything else. Instead, he couldn't stop himself from pushing it even further.

"So, you knew you liked blokes before you kissed one? You think it's the same? A mouth is a mouth, I mean? That it doesn't matter? But no, because then you would like girls. Fuck, I'm so confused."

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creevesmeout
2008-01-20 08:06 am UTC (link)

"Well, I mean, I sort of fancied them. When I was younger. But I didn't really know what it meant to fancy someone when I was that young." Colin took another gulp of apple juice, face rapidly coloring. "And I -- er. I mean, it's... It's kind of a physical thing, yeah. But, I mean -- isn't it the same on your end? It's physical, and then it's emotional." Colin cut himself off before he went into detail, taking another fevered drink of apple juice as his face continued to heat. "I don't really... know how to explain it."

Colin drank apple juice like it was the Elixir of Life, a violent shade of pink. He was horrible about talking about sex -- though he wasn't a virgin precisely, nor really a prude, it just seemed like such a ridiculous thing to talk about. So personal. And weird.

"Well, did you know you liked birds before you kissed one? It's the same thing, I think." Colin eyed his cookie. "I mean, I liked blokes before I ever kissed..." Colin bit into his cookie to cut himself off, chewing violently.

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wildhairedboy
2008-01-20 08:43 am UTC (link)

"So, you see blokes and ... fancy them? Like, most guys see boobs and stare. You stare at, like ... arms? Or, what do you stare at?"

He couldn't help but remember the feel of Vaelon pressed against him, and felt his stomach tighten in response. Heat rushed his face and he had to drop his eyes for a moment. When he looked back up he still felt the wild burn of his blush and wondered if it was wildly obvious.

"Have you ever? I mean, do you know for a fact that the edge is permanent? You know, for a fact?"

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creevesmeout
2008-01-20 08:49 am UTC (link)

"Chests," Colin blurted, before he could stop himself, "and arses, mostly, which is why Quidditch players are so dishy and Merlin, Cutter, please stop asking questions." Colin was so flustered and flushed himself he hardly noticed Cutter pinking, too busy chugging down his apple juice and trying to keep from looking Cutter directly in the eyes.

"Yeah. I mean, no," Colin said, gnawing his lower lip and still not looking at Cutter directly. "I mean, I have, but I haven't. Not... like, actual sex. But otherwise, the edge is pretty much permanent, yeah."

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wildhairedboy
2008-01-20 09:17 am UTC (link)

"Quidditch players, huh? Want to wonder into the fitting room sometime? Bring me my broom?"

Cutter forgot his embarrassment entirely at the horrible flush on his friend's face and couldn't help but tease him a little. At Colin's admission to having done things he felt his jaw gape open in complete shock.

"Are you kidding me? What kinds of things? I can't believe you didn't tell me! And you knew you liked it right away? I mean, you knew you wanted it? Not liked it. When some guy is taking off your shirt and he's got his hand...." Cutter broke off and shoved an entire cookie in his mouth, almost choking as he attempted to chew it. When he finally had himself under control and the cookie was good and swallowed, he took a big gulp of apple juice and tried to salvage the situation. "So, ah, I want details, yeah?"

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creevesmeout
2008-01-21 05:33 am UTC (link)

"Um," Colin replied, unable to actually say no -- fucking honesty thing -- and instead biting at the mouth of his apple juice carton, turning pinker still.

"Oh, Merlin," Colin groaned at Cutter's flow of questions, wriggling awkwardly in his seat and looking just about everywhere in the kitchen but Cutter. "I'm not -- I'm not giving you details, Cutter, honestly. I mean, isn't this -- isn't this awkward? Or supposed to be awkward, anyways? For you, at least. I mean, I only just told you I was -- you know, and now you're..." Colin shoved a small cookie into his mouth and chewed awkwardly, washing it down with another gulp of apple juice. "You know?"

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