tracey rachel madison (traceymadison) wrote in carpediem_rp, @ 2016-01-17 19:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: rhiannon andel, character: tracey madison |
Who: Tracey and Rhi
Where: Hogwarts Grounds/Kitchen
When: [Backdated] January 14th, rather late at night
Warning: Tracey is underage drinking, the rest is pretty PG
Status: Completed
Tracey could not have been having a more... unexpected... week. Her brain was all over the place, the fact that she damn well knew her memory had been modified wasn't particularly helping her inability to process the emotions coursing through her mind. She had been taking a bit too much of an advantage of the fact that people were just ignoring her typically brash behaviour, the whispers of 'lashing out' or 'we shouldn't expect less' working as a very well placed screen for what was the girl's normal behaviour, now just backed by an excuse.
She found herself laid on the grass - the mountain sky clear as she leaned up on her elbows to take a swig out of the water bottle at her side. She bit back a reaction to the liquid as it hit her throat, liquid which was certainly not water. Another perk of people making excuses for her now was that no one was asking the normal suspicious questions. She took a deep breath as she felt the hotness seep into her veins. It had been a particularly warm winter until recently, not much snow fall - none currently on the ground - but the warmth of the whiskey was still nice in the cold January air. Being inside had meant excuses and ruses and Tracey had found herself in need of a treat and some fresh air - not that it was bringing any stability to the slender girl’s mind.
Rhi had been pretty hyper for the past few days, not sleeping much or really doing anything that required focus. Focus was more than he could effectively manage at this point in time. He sighed as he walked the grounds, running a hand absently through the hair falling from a tie behind his head. He often wondered why he didn't cut it shorter, but he knew there'd be times he would regret it and so he left it long. Today was a casual day, and so he was in one of Trystan’s hand off sweaters and somewhat baggy jeans, with a warm coat over it to keep his slim frame protected. He was delicate, and while sometimes it annoyed him, he managed typically well.
As he walked he hummed to himself, random snatches of tunes. Whatever came to his head really, though he was pretty sure he was mixing up the lyrics as he went. It didn't matter. No one was listening he didn't think. And then he noticed someone else out, relaxing in the cold. Interesting. He walked closer, his eyes narrowing to try and recognize the girl that was out. After a moment or more he realized it was the girl who had been reported on- at least he thought so. Maybe she was getting too many questions and wanted some alone time? He didn't know, but he sidled over and offered a smirk to her. “What's a girl like you doing all alone in this weather?” Maybe flirting. Why not?
Tracey had heard a few other students walk by her over the few hours she’d been outside but she’d ignored all of them. She saw absolutely no point in socializing at the moment - it would likely just be more idiotic, like that Hufflepuff Hippy, if she hadn’t given a third of a damn about Adrian retaining minorly reasonable respect for her she would have ripped that stupid girl in half. As it were, she preferred not getting into fights in the Common Room of Slytherin House and had left it at just what it was. A poor, broken little girl clearly just lashing out against everything that was horrible in the world.
She hadn’t expected to hear a voice accompanied by the approaching sound of footsteps and humming - but there it was. ‘Oh good, questions.’ She thought to herself as she took another heavy swig from the close to empty, not-so-lacking-in-suspicion ‘bottle of water’. “Drinking.” She said, in a brash way that wasn’t outside of the norm for the tall girl, but definitely had a little more authority behind it than perhaps may have been normal. She wasn’t trying to necessarily turn anyone on their heels from conversation, but part of her was pretty sure no one wanted to talk to her right now (especially after the somewhat public row she’d had with Narissa) and she wasn’t going to coddle those feelings by doing anything other than reacting as she normally would.
Rhi didn't often stop to talk to anyone. It was not his way. He had people he got on with but mostly he kept to himself. Most people found him strange. He was pretty sure outside of his siblings that the only people that liked him were Gracie and R. He was not normal in many ways and he knew it. It confused most of the purists and honestly he was pretty sure it confused everyone else to some degree too. Typically he didn't care but it made for a somewhat violent existence, defending himself against insults as much as he could.
He smirked faintly at the response and flopped himself down next to Tracey. The girl was taller than he was (and he mentally noted that most people were taller than he was) but she was pretty. He had seen her in classes and while they'd never talked, he wasn't opposed to changing that fact here and now. “I hear drinking alone’s bad for you.” He didn't care that much aside from the fact that it was a way to flirt with the girl, hopefully even maybe to get a smile at some point. “Especially when you're about to run out. Drinking with someone means there's always more…”
Tracey had been known to be selectively social. Really, she was ‘seen’ with about four or five people on any consistent basis - considering that that was pretty much 75% Lia and 20% Ben (with some major overlap in those numbers)… that didn’t leave much room for other contact, at least unless she wanted something out of someone - and that probably made up another 4% of that socialization. But right now? She was tipsy enough to not care about who was talking to her, as long as they weren’t talking about anything. She finally looked up at the other person in front of her, making a mental allocation that it was ‘that bug-eyed Gryffindor’. A slender eyebrow arched as she gave the other student a once over as they plopped onto the ground next to her.
“Drinking is bad for you.” She said matter-of-factly as she became more and more curious as to the person now at her side. “I would normally disagree, but I don’t think…” She said, with a shake of the almost empty ‘water’ bottle, “...that I’m in a fit place to do so right now.” She cleared her throat, “So I’ll go and blow everyone’s minds and not argue.” She noted, with a chuckle to herself as her mind flitted to the idea of how much of a grin the notion would probably get out of Lia if she’d been able to witness this rather rare moment in history. The girl’s emotions had been all over the place all week and right now, a rare glimpse of her playful side was showing itself in her intoxicated state.
Rhi grinned as he watched the girl. It was interesting to see people when they were drunk. He rarely did so, it wasn't good with his potions, but he accepted that it could be funny to drink with the right people. He brushed back a bit of hair again and allowed his eyes to look her over for a moment. She didn't seem to have a problem with him being there. That meant he could stay. He didn't go where he wasn't wanted and he wouldn't stay if he wasn't. However he didn't feel like Tracey was telling him to go away.
“Pretty girls like you shouldn't be out in this cold all by themselves. It's practically a crime.” A grin curved the corners of his lips and he motioned to the bottle. “Come on. Let's go see if we can snag you something more to drink. Mix it up with some cocoa to warm you up.” Because he knew how to make a killer hot cocoa. Half Welsh, yes, but well versed in other cultures to know how to make an amazing Mexican hot cocoa if he really wanted to. And for this girl? It might be an amusing offering to see how she reacted.
Tracey was, contrary to what some might assume, usually a pretty social drunk. Drinking hadn’t really ever been a depressive for her like it was for some, it had always been just another tool in her arsenal of brash and manipulative behaviour. She realized it was a tool to be used judiciously, but at some level she was still a 16 - almost 17 - year old girl and… she had been known to party a little hard. Usually, however, not in solitary confinement like she’d found herself the last few nights, wandering the grounds well past when any student ought to be (and receiving more than a few ‘oh, sweeties’ over it). She found the other student’s presence curious, but wasn’t going to question it at this point.
A little tilt of the head was the only clue towards her curiosity as her eyes continued to study Rhi. “I’d wager that most things in my life revolve around the existence of crime at this point. Because what can I say, I’m a creature of habit.” The words rolled off of her tongue, more of a blatant flirt than she would have assumed from herself, but as she had said - she was a creature of habit, and that was definitely a habit. “You’ve put me in a place of no argument twice in one conversation, that might be a school record.” She said, as a smirk fell over her lips. The invitation of more had really been all she needed, but she wouldn’t go so far as to lie and say she didn’t enjoy a well made cup of hot cocoa. She was still human after all.
Rhi was very intrigued now. The girl was clearly having a bad week, that was obvious from the news story, and he was pleased that he was not being told to screw off. Sometimes he could put people off, especially with his reputation for fighting a lot and being rather unique- the being gender fluid did not come off as something anyone saw often, though he didn't care. He was who he was and if people didn't like it? Well, they could do something crass to themselves. He didn't care.
The agreement to go for cocoa brought a smile to his face and he rose back to his feet, holding out a hand to her. “M’lady,” he grinned wickedly, obviously joking and yet at the same time completely serious. He could flirt with the best of them, though it was rarely appreciated, and he was not going to let someone that was responding to it favorably pass him by. He was actually grateful for the distraction of being back at school, and this added on top of it meant that he could keep his mind busy for at least the evening.
Tracey was not one for such polite conversation, or conversation, or being open - not that she had said anything of particular worth or substance, she was a little past philosophical ability at the moment, but she definitely had the wear-with-all at the moment to understand that she was being more friendly than she would in any normal circumstance. Or, well, friendly in the only way Tracey would describe it - which, for others, might not necessarily fit the description - but for the lanky Slytherin girl, this was damn well being friendly by all accounts. But right now she wasn’t in the mood for the guilt trip or the second guessing of her behaviour, she was enjoying the feeling the whiskey had given her too much - and hell, why not get a little adventure out of the liquor doing what it should. Adventure was exactly what she needed right now. A little more of her brash, daring behaviour to even out the more uncharacteristic friendliness.
She placed her own slender hand in Rhi’s and let him help her off of the ground, quickly retracting her hand as she carefully brushed some dirt and grass off of her darkly dyed skinny jeans. She very rarely dressed appropriately for the temperature, it was an awful habit, and right now was no different. Dark black lace-up boots were paired with a dark pair of skinny jeans, a dark tunic like sweater, and a much-too-light-for-the-temperature heavy leather jacket - one day she’d learn to pay attention to the weather, and she was pretty sure that day wasn’t going to happen this winter. She grabbed the leather bag that had been next to her on the ground, downing the little bit of liquid left in her bottle before shoving it inside unceremoniously, “I’m a harsh judge of cocoa.” She added to the silence as she looked back at Rhi, an eyebrow still arched curiously.
Rhi didn't do much philosophical thought if he was honest with himself. He was a fight or run sort of person, though typically he went with fight. This was something different but it had been a while since he had interesting companionship outside of his siblings. He enjoyed them being around and he enjoyed that he could be himself, but at the same time he knew that it was hard for them. He had wandered to the downtown areas of home to try and find someone to hang out with, and while he had friends down there none of them were really like him. Magical. That was just another thing that made him different and it could be hard sometimes to have so many differences from the people back home.
Once they were walking back to the castle he smirked at the girl and shook his head. “Trust me, you've never had cocoa like mine.” He was good with that as much as he was with many things. The fashion thing he excelled in, but cooking he had to learn- back home there wasn't enough money most of the time to even do take out, so all the siblings knew how to cook and kept themselves well fed as much as they could with the minimal income their parents had. At least their oldest brother was working now. That helped with the money to some degree.
Tracey adjusted the bag on her shoulder as they walked, her eyes darting around as she noted the soft breeze that was whispering through the long-since-barren trees that littered their walk back to the castle. There was something invigorating about nights like this. A cold, soft wind in the crisp winter air with that feeling of whiskey in her veins. Tracey craved nights like this, she lived for it. For all of her outlandish, crass, and snarky behaviours there were some wants of her her’s that were inherently simple. The feeling of freedom that came with this type of air, it was one of those wants. Tucking a piece of stray, light golden brown hair behind her ear she turned her senses back to Rhi.
“We’ll see.” She said simply (the usually loud girl wasn’t much for words at the moment, just thoughts and actions), a smirk crossing over her delicate lips, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Cocoa might have seemed a child-like distraction for a girl like her, but there was something humanizing in this particular type of distraction - it was grounding, not that Tracey could ever really be grounded but at some point, even she couldn’t deny the simple pleasures in life. Though she also couldn’t deny that she was hoping she’d find a little more liquid distraction in her mug, but her propensity for trouble and emotional naivety was always to be assumed in any action she took, regardless of whether it was a simple or more complicated pleasure.
Rhi had something of an affinity for cold weather, and so he didn't have much issue with being out in cold. It felt good to him much in the way Trystan liked his storms. There was a strange comfort when the weather matches with his talent and comfort zone. In fact? A slight wordless touch to his wand and a light flurry began falling on them both. His lips quirked at the corners and he looked over, pulling the scarf from his neck and offering it. Most people weren't as at ease with the cold, after all, and now it was even snowing!
“We will.” Rhi smiled teasingly at the girl, offering his arm in a gentlemanly fashion as they approached the castle. His size didn't matter. He still liked being courteous. It was just in his nature. He allowed the smile to change slightly, becoming more authentic, wanting to put Tracey at ease in many ways. He felt tingly, a bit manic, but a faint well of calm bubbled under it, allowing him to keep his composure. He didn't want to scare the girl off when they were getting acquainted. That would be a total waste and he'd learned over time how bad wasting chances could be.
Tracey looked up as the light little flurries danced down around them, her mouth forming a soft pout as she let out a deep breath. “I’m okay.” She whispered as Rhi offered the scarf to her - her attention now on the little white flecks. “I never manage to dress for weather.” She added as a hazy after thought, “Perks of growing up somewhere with none.” She wasn’t always a manipulator, not always a liar, but it usually took this rare moment to get any sort of reality out of Tracey that wasn’t specifically directed towards Lia, and on the slightly less rare occasion Ben or Lae. The relationship she had built with most people at school, whether it was Trouble or R or anyone and everyone in between was usually built on the foundation of what everyone else saw, which was far from the a little more than tipsy girl enthralled by the sight of some snow. But regardless, such a genuine statement was usually left for sincere privacy or the odd moment like this where a bit of liquid courage loosened her lips just enough for her to lose a little control over the way she shaped her world.
The tall girl hesitated for a moment, half out of hazily not realizing an arm had been offered for her and half because genuine and more affectionate touch wasn’t necessarily something that came naturally to her. She’d never been the snuggly or hand holding sort, and taking the arm of someone had always mostly fallen into that category for her. It didn’t make her negatively uncomfortable but there was something about even friendly non-romantic affection that had always left Tracey with a bit of, for lack of a better term, embarrassment somewhere deep in her chest. Nonetheless, she put a hand gently on Rhi’s arm - not fully taking it, but touching the other student enough that guiding her wouldn’t be an issue.
Rhi noted the pout and shook his head slightly. “Don't worry. It's just a tiny bit of snow.” A small smile was offered as they moved. He liked the cold, the snow felt good to him, and while she was pouting, the snow looked pretty and Tracey seemed to be looking at it so he let it continue as they went. Obviously he would have to stop it when they got to the castle, but he doubted the intoxicated girl would realize that the snow was very much centered around them, moving with them as they went and only extending a few feet in any direction. He could do real snow if he wanted but it took a lot more time and energy than he wanted to put out given that he was trying to be charming at the same time.
When her hand settled on his arm he straightened up a bit, almost preening to himself. He hadn't expected her to take his arm, for all that he was offering it for her, and he smiled winningly. He knew questions would be out of place at this point and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so he held back any comment about what had so recently happened to her. That meant that a good number of conversation topics went out the window so to speak. He could find one that worked though. “So, aside from cocoa and snow, anything else you enjoy?” Because Tracey wouldn't be watching the snow if she didn't like it, and she had already indicated she liked cocoa.
Tracey had always been a watcher. She liked watching fire, she liked watching snow - though she had no temperment, like some people, for that calm that the idea of waves rolling off of the ocean onto the shore brought, no, that was something everyone else could watch. Water was never going to be her forte, though ice - ice and snow she found much nicer than their rapidly counterpart. She brought a slender hand up to her face, brushing a few flakes out of the wispy hair that framed it. She looked down to Rhi with a curious tilt, “Snows fine.” She said, a little bit of the normally definitive tone returning to her voice. She wet her lips as she took a glance around, the flurries echoed in the back of her mind as a little bit out of place, it had been such a mild winter and no hint of snow when she’d gone outside initially - but she had gotten into enough whiskey that even though the thought echoed back there somewhere, it never really made it to the front of her conscious mind.
In much the same fashion, she might have had an echo of a thought that it might be a bit odd for someone to just up and invite her for cocoa and to have started asking little questions, nothing invasive or anything - but much like her thoughts on snow, any real forethought or picking up on more subtle notions wasn’t going to be the girl’s forte at the moment. “Fire.” She said simply, not necessarily noting that full sentences would probably be a good idea since she was actually speaking with someone besides her closet friend. But it was true, she did like fire, - though not in the somewhat arsony way that her simplistic response might have elicited, but she liked the calm it brought her, she liked the way she got to use it for brewing potions, and she liked the warmth it brought without any of the troublesome humidity that she’d never admit to missing.
While it had been a largely mild winter, there had been some snow in the past and so it was not entirely out of place- though Rhi supposed snow out of nowhere was always unique. But then, Rhi was unique. It was just the way he was. There was no questioning that he had his little oddities that would bewilder some. He didn't care. He was what he was and nothing more or less. While he accepted his strangeness, he also longed to be treated as a normal person, which few outside of his family and small friend circle would guarantee. The fighting didn't help much he guessed. That was typically something that he didn't focus on much. If someone didn't like him? They didn't like him. He could handle that. It was what it was and no more or less.
The comment about fire provoked a smile. “My sister likes that too. She's actually pretty good working with it.” Because it was true. Each Andel sibling had their own talent and his sister’s was fire. A grin remained on his lips as they finally entered the castle and Rhi tended to the snow, ending the large swirling flakes as soon as they were through the door. “I imagine you'd be a sight in firelight…” Still flirting, yes, but he had no other choice. It had started. He had to have his follow through, and honestly he felt like this girl needed some caring from someone. With all that had happened it was necessary.
While Tracey may not have been the most friendly girl in their year, she wasn’t off put by strange or quirky or weird. Not that she particularly coveted the idea of the abnormal, but she wasn’t one to shirk it. If anything, she stayed away from being mean or manipulative of anyone she perceived in that light because it had unexpected results - people who hard lots of quirks, they were harder to predict and the brunette had always been weary of that. She watched the snow as they walked inside, the warmth of the castle hitting her like a wave. She had been fairly immune to the cold outside, thanks partially to the whiskey but still largely in thanks to her inability to ever dress appropriately having prepared her over the years for just never agreeing with the weather. While outside she had felt a resilient calm thanks to the cold, the warmer inside temperature did return a bit of her sense to her. Not so much as to make her any less tipsy than she was, but more so it took a little of the bewilderment away that the cold crisp night air tended to bring with it.
“I’m pretty sure your sister is the only reason we have a light in the Slytherin commons fireplace.” She said, a little smirk dancing over her features. She wasn’t close with the Andel girl, come to think of it, no one in their year really was close with the Andel girl - but having shared a dorm with the other sixth year she was more familiar with her than the twin standing beside her. “I like to watch it.” She said a bit brashly, “Fire has an enchantment to it that I don’t think many things match.” There was a little more clarity to her thought process, but Tracey was still solidly well off in the land of no foresight for her words right now.
Rhi was far from the nicest person in their year- he was pretty sure the Hufflepuff Smith girl had that wrapped up- but he was not mean most of the time. Just a bit misunderstood, and violent in the defense of those he cared about. He could fight incredibly well with either wand or fists, whichever the situation called for. It came, he supposed, from the fact that he had been born and brought up in a huge city and he was a bit strange as compared to the people he was around usually. Pansexual, gender fluid, and very much erratic in his moods. It meant that he was not seen in the same light when it came to many things in his existence.
“Saeth is good that way.” Because she was. His twin had always been amazing with fire in the same way she was with cold, and so it allowed them to continue their strange dichotomy (and the little world that was honestly only populated by them.) “It's good to spend time with the people my sister’s around when I'm not there.” Because being in Gryffindor she was pretty much unwelcome in Slytherin house, though it seemed to be that Tracey didn't care that much about the alternate house affiliation.
Tracey watched the walls around them as they walked, the auspiciously lit halls of Hogwarts always seemed so big to her - even now, when her world was changing so much, there was something about Hogwarts that was just somehow… bigger picture than anything else. Even the most tenured of professors could get lost in some back corner of the halls and not be found for months. But it was the way the light danced on the walls that the Madison girl had always loved and it caught her eye as they walked. She was usually such a brash girl, though it wasn’t unknown to those around her that she had a streak of naivety that hadn’t been killed off yet - though it was shrinking more and more by the day, a path she knew she had chosen for herself the second she opened her mouth to Lia. The second she said those words. Her thoughts drifted for a moment, that guilty feeling she’d been trying to wash away quelling in her stomach. Another emotion she knew needed to shrink away, decisions had very thoroughly been made.
She came back down to Earth after a moment, when she processed what Rhi had said. “She spends more time with you than us.” The tall girl noted. “But I can’t complain about her fixing my fires all the time. Basements aren’t exactly known for warmth.” Tracey was starting to have just that hint of anxiousness return, the one she’d been trying to rid herself of along with that pesky after thought of guilt, ya know, the one she was slowly remembering that she’d tried to literally drown away. She knew that that would pass, or well, it had to. There she went again, drifting. “I’m still skeptical about this cocoa.” She added hastily, returning her thoughts to the present rather than the lofty space above her.
Rhi glanced over occasionally at the girl as they walked. He liked that he was not alone right now and that he could spend time with someone that didn’t seem to be bothered by him at this point. Tracey wasn’t trying to fight, wasn’t being rude about his blood status (something he had seen an increase in lately) and didn’t seem to be looking for trouble. She was polite and so he was polite to her in return. It all worked out. He flicked back his hair from his face and paused for a moment to look at Tracey, his blue eyes flickering to her face curiously. “It’s hard to see such a sad look in such a pretty girl’s eyes, you know…” Because it was true. Seeing that she was sad sort of bothered him, even though it was a look that seemed to be buried deep. He wouldn’t question, he was just making an observation on the matter and then he would let it go.
“You’ve never had cocoa until you’ve had Rhi Andel’s cocoa.” Because he was very good in a kitchen, and very good with things that would warm up other people. The cold didn’t bother him at all, he hardly felt it with his gift for snow and ice, but he knew that right now it was freezing outside and even without snow, it meant that cozy warm drinks were entirely called for. He led her into the kitchen finally and pulled out a chair for her, motioning for her to sit down while he got the cocoa made and ready for her. Gentlemanly behavior was also called for when he was he, just like ladylike behavior was when he was she. It was different, but it would not do to come off as uneducated and poor, even if he was poor.
Rhi’s statement took Tracey a little off track, sad was not really an emotion she associated with herself. Disappointed, often. Conflicted, it happened. Frustrated, most of the time. Guilty, well the streak was there but she had never really allotted a more simple emotion to the guilt she so wanted to get rid of. That little bit of conscious left that hadn’t gone away over the years and she delved more and more into her more veracious side. But sad? She was taken aback. It wasn’t as if she was in complete denial of the more conflicting side of her feelings, but she was perhaps not well equipped with emotional fortitude or knowledge that actually lead her to understand what those feelings or emotions meant. “I’m not sad.” She said, a flat tone to her voice that was unusual for the normally very vocal girl.
“Well you’ll just have to prove that then.” She noted as she slid into the chair offered to her, a little uptick in her voice as she watched the other student walk through the kitchen. She brought one leg up, her heel resting on the edge of her seat as she brought her knee into her chest - suddenly very conscious of that tiny tinge of jealousy towards her much more compact best friend. Her arms wrapped around her leg, holding it to her as she sat there. She reached into her bag and slipped out the now empty water bottle, putting the bag on the table and tossing the empty container into the trash bin a foot or so away from her. Tracey was suddenly acutely aware of her silence and demeanor and instinctively tilted her head, bringing one hand to ruffle her hair to fall a little more around her than how it had been sat - just in soft waves between her shoulders. “You know your way around a kitchen.” She said, less curious (if she was to be honest) than she was starkly aware that she was acting abnormally and the last thing she wanted - even if it was just a little harder to manage with the not so small amount of whiskey in her system - was having to give any reality to her current state of emotions.
Rhi shrugged slightly. People saw it in him too, even when he didn’t specifically feel sad. It was strange, but it was the way things were and he accepted them as perfectly normal. He didn’t worry much about most outsiders, but he was finding that speaking with this Slytherin girl was oddly pleasant, oddly interesting. It didn’t hurt that the girl was pretty as well as intriguing. It was something to do, and seeing as he didn’t have designing time today- there was nothing in his mind to sketch or make- he was looking for something to do.
He bustled about, getting milk on to heat and absently starting to grate chocolate with a cinnamon stick to start off. It was a lot easier to make a good cocoa with real chocolate, and the proper seasoning made it a million or more times better. He started mixing, blending carefully to whip the chocolate and make the appropriate froth. “I cook at home. We all do.” Mentally he added that unlike most of the families around, he did not have someone to cook and clean for him and the others in the family.
Tracey felt relieved that Rhi hadn’t pushed. The last thing she needed was a fight with someone right now - and she knew herself well enough to know that if that button had been pressed too hard, or even pressed lightly, particularly with any altering substance in her system. The calm that the brisk night air and the drink may have brought her was making her more friendly, boarding on polite, than normal but it wouldn’t change her core. It wouldn’t have stopped that fight or flight mode that was permanently stuck on fight. If she could manage to all but have a row with the nicest girl… probably at the school… a pair of pretty blue eyes and some cocoa definitely wasn’t going to keep her from protecting herself. Guards may go down with some aide, but it wouldn’t erase her nastier bits of personality - just allow the few nice slices a little time to shine through.
Her eyes watched the Gryffindor as they shuffled around, curious to see what they would think would make their version of cocoa so credible. “From scratch, that’s pretty rare.” She noted softly, picking up on some possible implications in Rhi’s next statement - but not really thinking much of it. Money had never really mattered to Tracey - granted that was probably because she had the luxury of it literally never mattering. “I was never any good at cooking. I don’t have the patience for it.” She said, shifting slightly in her seat so she could get a slightly better view of the process. “Always surprised my Mother. I’m so good with potions, but not at cooking. Some might assume they go hand in hand.” She clear her throat, “I burn butter on a regular basis.” She added at an attempt to be at least a little light hearted, if even for no other reason than to keep conversation firmly away from any indications of her mood or what people thought had happened, not that Tracey was aware wholly of what had either, or any notions about that look in her eyes she had been so afraid someone might notice.
Rhi knew what it was like to be defensive. He often was, and not just for himself. There were other people that mattered. Saeth and Trystan mostly, but he knew that if anything went down, he would be the first one out of the gates fighting for the family. It was who he was. Even being with a pretty girl didn’t change that- and Tracey certainly was a pretty girl. Far too pretty to be discounted, it could become a distraction if he was not careful with this. He did not want too many distractions, simply because his future was so directly planned out and he wanted to be sure to get into design immediately from school.
“We didn’t have anyone to cook for us. Mom and dad work.” Simple statement, yes, but there was something behind it if you wanted to think on it. After all, if both parents worked so much that they did not have time to cook, it hinted to a level of poverty. It was agitating sometimes, but the siblings had all managed to make it work in their own ways. Trystan was going to play quidditch, the twins had their goals, and their eldest brother was working as well to help support the family when and where he could. Being poor had never brought much by way of problems to any of them. It just was what it was and they had to deal with it.
Tracey wasn’t particularly sure at what point she’d noticed that Rhi had pretty blue eyes, but she’d become a little more conscious of it the moment she’d had to go into a bit of protection mode. Either way, she had noticed and the curiosity of her having noticed didn’t wholly escape her notice. That being said, the tall girl would have been a liar if she’d denied that this was sort of nice, in a very odd way. Lia knew everything and while she did love her closest companion, it had been increasingly hard for her to be around her this week - knowing that there was no way of talking herself out of this fun little memory modification, and knowing that Lia would know every reason for any emotion that crossed her face made it a little harder to be around her at the moment. Being alone, clearly, hadn’t done her much good either - since probably too many of those alone moments had been accompanied by a little guilt assistance in various colours of liquid. She couldn’t help but make a mental note to herself that everything aside, she still had some very stark humanness left to her that still made little moments of change or difference nice.
One of her hands pulled at a piece of hair that had fallen more forward than the rest, “I haven’t eaten a consensual meal with my family in three years.” She instantly regretted even bringing up the fact that she had a family, knowing full and well that might be wholly counter productive to the whole ‘let’s change the topic permanently away from my emotions’ goal. “I actually might have ingested more coffee than food in that same time period.” She added, forcing a soft chuckle from her lips. “I probably should have learned to cook at some point. It’s ladylike or… whatever.” She rolled her eyes, a less negative association to her immediate family crossing through her thoughts - now with everything that’s happened, she’d have no way or excuse to avoid any and all association with her Aunts. That was probably going to be the biggest detriment in Tracey’s immediate familial life. She pulled gently at the strand of hair, straightening it out and letting it bounce back into a soft curl as she continued watching Rhi move about.
Rhi smiled as he worked, completely focused on the task at hand. He was glad to have the busy work, and soon enough he set a steaming mug of Mexican hot chocolate before Tracey, complete with whipped cream and chocolate shavings. One was settled for him as well and he seated himself comfortably as they continued the companionship. It was strange feeling comfortable with anyone, much less a Slytherin he barely knew, but he was pleased nonetheless. It meant that he was able to have some time not fighting himself or anyone else. That was rare, if he were honest, though much of the time fighting himself was when he was alone, trying to rest and sleep.
A laugh escaped him at the ladylike comment and he shrugged. “I could teach you, though I dunno if I can teach you ladylike. Might have to get my sister for that.” Because while he could be ladylike sometimes, now certainly was not one of those times. He took a sip of his cocoa and then wiped his mouth- though he did probably miss some of the whipped cream that would have gotten on his lips and possibly other places. Neatness and fastidiousness were not traits that were very big for Rhi, so he didn't worry about them unless he had no choice.
Tracey dipped a finger into the whipped cream that sat on top of the hot treat in front of her, taking a little taste of it before bringing the mug to her lips. She took a judicious sip of the cocoa, a well manicured eyebrow arching itself up again as she looked over at Rhi. “You might want to…” She made a gesture towards her own nose, “Bit on there.” She said, a little smirk on her lips as she switched the mug to her other hand - enjoying the feeling of the warmth against her skin. Having spent so much of her time fighting herself, her brother, the conflict in her rather unstable emotions - sometimes she had forgotten to appreciate simple moments like this. All of that pent up frustration, all of the pent up anger, all of those emotions that the Slytherin had never had a total grasp on understanding so often eclipsed moments like this. Things that were just simple.
She brought the mug back to her lips and took another sip, “What’s in this anyway - it’s different, I mean that’s not a complaint. But it’s different.” She took a smaller sip before bringing the mug closer to her chest, both hands clasped around it now as she rolled her eyes again, “I have no intention of being ladylike. Though Saeth definitely pulls it off more than anyone I’ve ever met - whatever Koolaid she’s been sipping is something my Aunts would love to force feed me.” As much as she had made some pretty clear and irreversible moves to align herself, very much so, with the purist side of the magical world - Tracey had never aligned herself with them because of actual care for pure or half or mixed or whatever blood status, for her it had been motives of attachment to her only truly close friend, it had been an alignment of benefit for everything she actually cared about in her life and everything she simultaneously despised. Her Aunts would actually probably finally lay off a bit, now that she had clearly made a choice - even if they had no idea of her actual reasonings.
Rhi wiped off his nose, the faintest hint of a blush rising in his cheeks. Even with the lack of focus on neatness, he was still with a pretty girl and so it was something to worry about to some degree. After that, he took another sip, ducking his head to allow a tiny bit of hair to cover his face. He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks and he didn't like it. A few moments of focus brought the color down again to his normal pallor and he looked at Tracey. He didn't know how to handle that- should he pretend he hadn't cared? Probably for the best.
“I think she's making up for me. I make a terrible lady…” Which was doubly true now when he was about as far from feminine as one could get in his body. He flicked back a bit of hair and smiled, now meeting her eyes. “You're pretty enough it doesn't matter I think. You don't have to be ladylike. You can just be you and people can tell there's something special about you.” Because it was true enough in his mind. He imagined it had something to do with wealth. Here it usually did.
Tracey smirked slightly, her cautious eyes examining the Gryffindor’s face - the blush didn’t go unnoticed, but something about it made her a little anxious. Interaction had a habit of making her anxious anyway, not that it was something that she wasn’t fairly gifted at hiding - because, luckily for her, she’d gotten very good at controlling what people saw of her. Unplanned interaction, mingling with no motives, it all made her anxious at some point - now she just had to make sure she wasn’t still too tipsy to hide it well. She was still a fair bit off from sober, being inside and warm just made it a little easier for her to put her energy into appearing a little more well off than she was.
It wasn’t as if everyone in their year was wholly unaware of Rhi’s changing moods and dress, but Tracey shrugged off the notion when it was presented, “I’ve never seen the appeal. Being ladylike only gets you so far.” She whisked out a little bit of whipped cream that was left floating on top of her half emptied treat with her finger, licking it off delicately before bringing the mug to her lips again - her eyes darting down quickly as she was complimented, there was just something too nice about it and that was something Tracey had never excelled at. Positive emotional interactions outside of her rather close knit group of friends wasn’t something she was used to. Her Mother judged her, her Brother judged her, her Aunts hadn’t shut up since she was like 6 years old - really, her Father had been the easiest one on the brunette girl, and clearly that ended just so well. “Pretty, maybe. Sure. Blessed with well matching genes. Special? I don’t think there’s anyone to agree with you there.” She said, forcing a cavalier tone into her response as she sipped at her drink.
Rhi watched quietly, interested in Tracey’s every expression and thought- even though he could not see the thoughts really. Simply interpret what was going on based on the interactions and how they were working. He seemed to be doing well enough. He had not scared her off and he had not been told to go fuck himself, so this whole thing was a win. He took another sip of his cocoa, this time a bit more careful with the whipped cream, and then he absently used his finger to take a bit of the cream into his mouth. The elves here hand made it, as he understood, and it was always much better than the sort his parents bought at home- probably a quality and cost thing he imagined.
He nodded at her next reply. “Saeth does well with it. I just…” A faint shrug and a self deprecating smile. “I don’t really do well with anything for very long. People think I’m crazy.” It was true and he accepted it. Honestly he might be a bit crazy. The bipolar thing didn’t help his case much and while he accepted that as part of him, he knew other people were not always as kind and understanding. His sister and brothers loved him, and everyone else? They didn’t matter nearly as much. He could stand anything as long as he had his family, literally. It was a tested fact.
Tracey kept her eyes down, their gaze focused on her hands gripping the mug in them. Her matte black nail polish was starting to chip, she’d need to repaint them before the rumoured little Room of Requirement party on Friday. She wasn’t much in the mood for a party, especially given that she wasn’t particularly close to anyone throwing it, but if she could manage to skim some treats and get out of the Slytherin Commons for a little bit - maybe put on a show of normalcy returning for her, she wasn’t going to pass it up. On that same note, she still needed to track R down - but that was a concern for another night. She finished off the cocoa with a few small sips and put the mug back on the table, her arms returning to loop around her leg once more.
She adopted a fairly matter-of-fact facial expression before shrugging again, “I don’t think our age group is particularly known for their foresight or longevity.” She said, forcing another soft chuckle. She idly started tapping a few of her fingers against her knee, the only real outward hint of any lingering anxiousness before she glanced up at Rhi again. “I dislike the word crazy.” She said flatly, “It’s an excuse to act as if there’s only one way to do things efficiently.” She wasn’t the most politically correct of people, let alone socially aware, but the word crazy had always rubbed her the wrong way. Plenty of people had called her crazy over the years and plenty more used it as a word that was nothing more than an excuse to talk down about someone’s actions. It was a word that, to Tracey, had no more use than figuring out that someone probably had no idea what they were talking about. Tracey’s brand of ‘crazy’, granted, was probably fairly different than why they’d call Rhi ‘crazy’ - but, regardless, she felt the same about the word.
Rhi noticed the focus of the girl’s eyes and quietly watched for a few moments before reaching out to gently stroke a bit of hair back behind her ear. Yes, it was a somewhat intimate action, but Rhi had never shied away from touching people. He had no reason to. Touching plants, sure- she could not keep them alive- but people and animals were a very different story and he was not terrible with those things. His eyes met Tracey's and he smiled faintly, trying to put the girl at ease. It felt strangely important that Tracey was comfortable there.
“Words are words. People can call me what they want. I know who I am.” Because it was true. Rhi had no doubt in his head of who he was even with his constantly changing mindsets and moods. It was just part of him. He liked who he was, and he had no doubt that was largely because of the way his family was. They accepted everything and let him be himself. That acceptance and love made life a lot easier for him, just as he imagined it did for his siblings.
Tracey felt the anxiousness rise in her chest as soon as Rhi’s finger brushed the tip of her ear. It sent a soft shudder of nerves down her spine. A feeling that always increased her anxiousness in a situation. It wasn’t that she hated socializing, it wasn’t that she hated being touched by any stretch - but something about legitimate intimacy, and not the sort you got from just snogging boys for fun or because you wanted something, but the more tender side always made the slender girl anxious. Closeness was something foreign to her at this point, well, except for Lia - who was really more of a blessing than she ever gave her friend credit for. Such a soft touch was something foreign to her concept of reality at this point.
She smirked, “Well. Can’t say that’s a bad outlook on it.” She said, probably a bit more of a healthy-leaning response than Tracey would have given, knowing who she was wasn’t particularly her forte (well, acknowledging it was probably more accurate, but that was a thought she was just going to push down again). Fighting people about claiming she knew herself and that she was right and they were wrong, that was another story. Tracey knew more of who she wanted to be, than who she actually was. Something that kept that consistent rift in her emotional state ever present.
Rhi met Tracey’s eyes after his hand moved back down to his side. This was perfectly fine in his mind, a small touch that wasn't quite asked for but wasn't anything that would be taken badly either. He was far from a threat on a normal basis and so he doubted Tracey would take the action as such. It was simply a bit of tenderness, and perhaps a desire to look at her face unobstructed by hair or anything else. Rhi rarely ignored impulses because sometimes they could bring about surprising changes in life.
“I guess so. It means I don't have to think as much about the people around me. Aside from my siblings they typically just don't matter much to me.” It was true enough. He didn't worry about people outside his circle and that circle was decidedly smaller than most. He did what he had to and interacted where he had to, but most of it was with his twin and so didn't impact many others.
Tracey flitted her eyes away quickly, looking her blonde companion in the face - which she mentally noted again really did have such nice eyes - it wasn’t helping that anxious feeling welling up in her chest to look Rhi right in the eyes. She had never been very good with spontaneously making eye contact with someone - it always arose something in her that brought on a hint of unease (not that it was necessarily a negative feeling, here it certainly wasn’t, but there was something about looking someone in the eyes that she never sat right with). She could still feel the trail of that soft shudder down her spine and she wet her lips, before she gave her head a slight tilt - doing her best to keep up an even and easy front.
She gave a soft nod of acknowledgement, “I guess I can understand that. I mean, Lia and Laertes are closer to me than any siblings I’ve actually had and they’re about the only ones who garner actual respect from their opinions from me.” Well, there was also Ben - but that was vastly more complicated and came with a lot of explaining of how the two fairly volatile individuals actually got along. Something that was definitely not appropriate conversation at the moment or outside of their small group of associates.
Rhi would have been intrigued to know of the girl’s assessment of his eyes. They were very blue and very wide, he knew that. Other than that he never thought much about how he looked. He just accepted it for what it was. People could find him strange or attractive and he didn't focus much on it. It was part of him and nothing short of extensive spells would change it at all.
Rhi nodded at the comment about the older Slytherin sibling pair. He had been very lucky in his family and he knew that not everyone was nearly as lucky. He was grateful for that. “My sister and brothers have always been amazing to me. It's good to have someone that means something in your life.” Even if it wasn't a blood relation. Sometimes blood didn't matter and friendships became more and more important as time went on.
Tracey kept her eyes away from Rhi’s face. The Gryffindor had picked up enough on things that most people didn’t and she was in no intention of allowing them to see any hint of anxiousness, not that she was sure she was doing the best job of being entirely casual about keeping her eyes away, Stupid whiskey. She thought to herself. She had a sudden consciousness that she’d been tapping the slender fingers of her right hand against her knee this whole time and stopped suddenly, coaxing her hand to relax against the joint and stop its tell tale rhythm.
Tracey hadn’t necessarily been unlucky in family, she’d been unlucky in family relationships. She’d lucked out when it came to blood, when it came to money, when it came to health - and she was lucky to get good genes from both of her parents, something that had always allowed her to know she was a fetching looking girl. The interpersonal relationships in her family, not so lucky. They had once been so good, but like most things (at least in her experience) they crumpled and ended up after years of trials and tribulations in a hastily patched up USA Today article. “Its grounding… or something, so I’ve heard.” She noted, not really sure of what else to say without provoking conversation in a direction she was pretty sure she didn’t want.
Rhi was observant if nothing else. He had fast emotional swings that allowed him to pick up on people having the same. It might not have always been a constant thing but it was enough that he was able to register certain moods and fast changes in people's faces. He smiled faintly at Tracey as he picked up the empty cups of cocoa and set them on a counter for the elves to wash up.
While he didn't have the same luxuries as Tracey did, he did have love at home to a massive degree. “It is. It means a lot. I know I wouldn't be the same at all without the people in my life.” He would be even more erratic he imagined, and given that he was not a paragon of stability to start with that was really saying something. Saeth kept him from going entirely off the rails in life and he appreciated it probably more than he could easily express to her. A benefit of having a twin, yes, but more than that it was a benefit of her being his twin.
Tracey hadn’t helped herself by steadying her hand, her eyes darting back to Rhi as the blonde removed the empty mugs. Still careful to avoid any direct eye contact. She let out a soft sigh as she looked around the kitchen. She, contrary to what was probably assumed by most, spent a lot of time in her kitchen at home - the breakfast nook really always had the best view of their property and it wasn’t big enough for the whole family to sit there, so she’d often been left alone if she ate or drank there. Something about the kitchen here in the recesses of the castle was comfortable. Homey in a way she rarely cared to feel.
“Yeah.” The brunette girl said, somewhat absently. Family, even if it wasn’t a conversation directly about what happened, was never a topic she had a lot to say on. It was one of the few topics that kept her fairly quiet when it came to participating or responding. She always tried to tag along, because that was what was normal, right? Having things to say about your family? But if she hadn’t had much to say about her family, especially if she was at least attempting to not be combative, before - she had even less to say now.
Rhi rose to his feet. It felt like their conversation was edging toward an end and he did not want to drag things out until they got awkward. That was one thing he always tried to avoid when he could. He offered his hand again to the tall girl and smiled slightly. “Do you want me to escort you back to Slytherin?” Because that would be the polite thing to do since he had brought her here.
While Rhi didn't do a ton with social interactions he did his best to make sure that he was polite to the people that were polite to him. Being around people was a bit strange sometimes, complicated because of changing mood and the gender fluid status that occasionally struck and threw him off balance in the middle of conversations even. “Come on. I'll take you back.”
As much as Tracey wasn’t normally a polite creature, so to speak, she didn’t necessarily like the idea of brushing off what had been a pleasant distraction - even if her attentiveness to how lovely Rhi’s eyes were was really getting a rise out of her anxiety. The offer snapped Tracey back in a way, “Oh, sure.” She said idly - not really conscious of caring whether or not it would look fairly random for her to be seen walking with the Gryffindor. She had enough whiskey left in her veins to have her brain not entirely processing that sort of forethought still.
She stretched out her legs, giving her previously bent leg a little rub before she stood up - pushing the chair she’d been in back closer to the table. “Your sister’s going to give me a look for traipsing back in this late.” She said with a little grin that danced across her features - a glance shot back to Rhi, though it didn’t linger.