Ryo (ryochan) wrote in candypop, @ 2009-03-01 04:19:00 |
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Current mood: | frustrated |
28th of February 2009, Ryo and Hiroki
Once more checking on the little girl that slept in her bed in the living room, Ryo pulled her cover up some before entering the bedroom shortly after Hiroki. It wasn’t even three weeks to go until Miyuki would turn two years old, and while Ryo loved watching her grow, it was hard to realize that their little baby wouldn’t really be a baby for much longer.
Slipping out of his pants and the tank top he was wearing, Ryo lifted the bedcovers some as he laid down next to Hiroki, though not as close as he usually would have – these past three or so weeks had been really weird and he wasn’t really sure how to react to it, as the younger one still seemed to be stuck on his decision, Ryo couldn’t really do much about it.
“Hiro…,” the older one mumbled after a few minutes had passed though, moving closer to his husband as he wrapped an arm around his waist, softly pressing his lips on Hiroki’s bare shoulder.
Not doing anything about this, it wasn't bad after all, Hiroki hummed lowly in reply. He had his eyes closed and had been really close to falling asleep right before Ryo had come to hold him. Honestly he loved when Ryo did it like this, especially now when they weren't on the best of terms. Of course Hiroki had nothing against Ryo or anything, but it was easy to tell that the older one wasn't too happy about how things were lately.
As he wasn’t pushed away the older one closed his eyes, softly caressing Hiroki’s stomach with his fingers while placing light kisses along his shoulder, being close like this felt so good but despite being rather tired Ryo couldn’t help but to want to get so much more closer, it had been quite a while after all…
“What are you thinking about…?” he whispered then, trying not to expect too much as he would just end up getting disappointed, again.
For a little while just enjoying Ryo fingers and the way he gently touched him, Hiroki remained silent. Then as he thought of what he was thinking about, a light sigh escaped his lips.
"Work," he answered honestly, actually a bit bothered by not being able to think about much else but work lately. He wanted to think more of Miyuki and Ryo and his friends and family in general, but work was eating all his time and attention lately.
Letting out a soft sigh as well, Ryo slowly kissed his way up the younger one’s neck, letting his eyes flutter close again as he took a deep breath.
“Let me help you forget about that…,” he then whispered, the way his fingers ran on Hiroki’s skin making it clear what he meant with those words. He knew it was stupid though, and it felt really stupid to get so worked up over something like this – just having the younger one close like this, right now even just that was a bit hard to handle.
Of course Hiroki had seen this coming, but honestly he hadn’t thought it would happen so soon. Though as it did, he moved a little in Ryo’s arms – though didn’t move away just yet – as he sighed once more and shook his head.
“I’m tired Ryo,” he explained then, not feeling bad about it as it was very true. He felt tired and he knew that he needed his sleep if he would be able to go to work and be cheerful in the morning.
Swallowing in annoyance as he got what he had expected to get, Ryo eventually let out a disappointed sigh as there was no point trying to hide it when it was so easy to tell that he wasn’t pleased with how things were.
“You’re tired a lot lately…,” he then mumbled, unable to shut up about it right then, even though he knew that would’ve been the best thing to do. Holding Hiroki closer to himself, the older one moved his hand up to draw lazy patterns over the younger one’s chest.
Hiroki had no idea of how many times they had talked about this lately, but in his opinion they had done it way too many times already. Of course he didn’t like the fact that Ryo wasn’t pleased, but there was no way he was going to force himself just because Ryo wanted to have sex.
“I have a lot to do lately,” he calmly answered, not sounding annoyed or anything close to it even though this did annoy him quite a lot. The least he could do though was to be nice to Ryo as long as he wasn’t making a big deal out of it.
A weak smile appeared on Ryo’s face then as he searched for Hiroki’s hand, entwining their fingers together.
“I know…,” the older one said then, placing a kiss on the Hiroki’s cheek before down settling next to him, pulling the taller frame closer as he nuzzled his neck softly.
“At least let me hold you?” he mumbled then, not about to let go any time soon, though maybe it would be a good idea as all he really wanted to do was have Hiroki right there and then, hard and loud and… Closing his eyes tightly as he tried to get rid of his thoughts, Ryo mentally kicked himself for being so pathetic.
A small sigh escaped Hiroki’s lips again as he moved a little and tried to get comfortable. Honestly it was a bit difficult – he didn’t want to have Ryo so close right now but he knew that once he would fall asleep it didn’t really matter how closer Ryo was or wasn’t.
“You are holding me stupid,” he commented after a while, his voice low and tired.
Maybe tomorrow would be a better day and then maybe tomorrow they could be closer and enjoy each other’s company again – Hiroki wanted to do that actually. He wanted to enjoy being with Ryo and everything, but lately it was really difficult.
“Sorry…,” Ryo said then, burying his face into the crook of Hiroki’s neck, though he didn’t loosen his hold of the younger one despite feeling like maybe Hiroki would prefer that. It was really stupid to have something like this affect him so much, but it had been over three weeks already and while it wasn’t the end of the world, when you compared that to what he was used to, yes, it was rather hard to deal with it. It wasn’t only that though, but to Ryo at least, it felt as if they had become oddly distant over the past week… Maybe it would be like this every now and then though, maybe it was like this for Hiroki too when Ryo had a lot of work, when he went on tours, maybe it was something they would have to just learn to deal with until their schedules would match again.
Hiroki tried very hard not to think too much of this and just go to sleep already – he wanted to sleep; needed it even. It was really difficult though, to just ignore how Ryo was acting because no matter how much Hiroki didn’t want to have sex and no matter how much he’d rather be left alone for a while… of course he still cared for Ryo and wanted the best for him. Laying like this, feeling the older one so close and being able to tell that something was awfully wrong, there was no way that Hiroki could just do nothing about it.
“Ryo…,” he mumbled as he turned around in the older one’s arms and put his arm around his waist. Not saying anything more, he placed a light kiss on Ryo’s lips and pulled him a little bit closer, before letting his head rest against the pillow again.
Blinking a few times, Ryo sniffed once before letting out a soft but an awkward laughter. Reaching up with his hand to softly touch the younger one’s face, Ryo ran his thumb over Hiroki’s cheek gently.
“You’re really beautiful…,” the older one mumbled then, a wide smile appearing on his face as he laughed awkwardly at the odd situation. It couldn’t be healthy to be this weak for someone, but Ryo didn’t really care as long as he had Hiroki, even if all he got to do was hold him like this.
A small smile grew on Hiroki’s lips at that and he shook his head slightly.
“Shut up and sleep,” he mumbled as he held on to Ryo a bit tighter. He didn’t mind being called beautiful of course, he loved hearing compliments even though he sometimes could get really embarrassed. But right now they were supposed to sleep and Ryo needed these hours just as much as Hiroki if not more. The older one could be rather silly sometimes, silly and completely adorable and the best boyfriend ever, but right now he should just sleep.
Trying to think of something else than Hiroki and that it had been way too long since the last time they had had sex, Ryo concentrated on the next thing came to his mind.
“Miyu will turn two in a few weeks,” the older one mumbled, wrapping his arm around the younger one again. It was rather hard to believe that she was already turning two years old, while it felt like it was just yesterday that they got her, it was great to see her grow and learn new things though…
“She’s growing up…,” he said then, nudging Hiroki gently. “Hiro, we should fix the apartment deal…”
Had he not been so tired, Hiroki would have called Ryo really cute right now. As he was really tired though, there was no way he would call the older one something positive as he didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.
“Stupid,” he thus mumbled and after a second or so opened his eyes to look at his husband, though it wasn’t very easy to see too much of him right now. “We can talk tomorrow, sleep now okay?”
”Can we do some other stuff tomorrow as well?” Ryo asked then, jokingly of course though it wasn’t like he would say no if Hiroki would give a positive response to that. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, Ryo mentally slapped himself as it was rather late and he did in fact have work to do tomorrow, and so did Hiroki… Drawing soft patterns on the younger one’s back, Ryo eventually relaxed under the covers as well, keeping his arm loosely around his husband as he slowly gave in to his sleepiness.