|Jin Superman (369) wrote in candypop,|
@ 2008-11-28 16:37:00
26th of November 2008, Jin and Yui
At work, there were good days and there were bad days, of course there were some of both. Normally Yui would look back on the good days when she had a bad one and comfort herself with that a good day would certainly come again tomorrow. Today she was feeling strangely pessimistic however, being upset with her manager for having tried to talking her into accepting a CM contract, despite having refused from the very start as she didn’t feel it was a product she could support wholeheartedly. Yui had gotten her will through for today, but there had been a look on her manager’s face that told her that this was far from over. It was a good contract, she couldn’t deny that, but it wasn’t one that was right for her. Stepping out of her shoes, and bending down to put them neatly away as always despite being tired, Yui sighed and looked up into the ceiling. She wasn’t really religious or anything, but sometimes she just wondered if it would be okay to give God a small request anyway.
“Welcome home,” Jin mumbled as he had heard how the door closed. Being a bit too caught up in reading his script however, he had decided not to go there and greet. Instead he had just remained in the couch, taking up all of it as he had his legs put on it as well while leaning back against the armrest.
As he heard how Yui got in to the room however, Jin glanced her way and immediately noticed the tired look on her face. They didn’t officially live together yet, but after having practically lived together for half a year and been together even longer, he knew what some things meant by now and Yui looking the way she did right now wasn’t obvious to other people, but to him it was utterly obvious.
“You should work less,” he thus commented, concern noticeable in his voice. He really was worried about her though, about how she worked so much even though she definitely should stop working these days as there weren’t many weeks left before the baby was due.
Letting her hormones get the better of her as they seemed to do a lot since the beginning of this pregnancy, Yui drew her lips into a thin line and looked over at Jin with upset eyes. First she had to deal with her manager and now she would have to argue with him too?
“Why are everyone trying to tell me what to do?” she asked, sounding genuinely hurt as she wrapped an arm around herself, rubbing her side awkwardly to keep herself somewhat in check. “Don’t I have a say about my life at all anymore?”
Immediately looking up at Yui then, Jin frowned for a little while before sitting properly in the couch. He hadn’t meant it like that, of course not, and by now one would think that she knew that already, but obviously she didn’t and thus he couldn’t help but sigh.
“I’m just thinking of you and the baby,” he said though, still sitting down but looking up at her as there was no way he’d be able to read lines for the movie when the atmosphere was like this.
“Well, I’m thinking of myself and the baby too!” Yui exclaimed, feeling the tears beginning to fill up in her tear channels, putting stinging pressure to her eyes as she tried to hold them back. If she wanted to be taken seriously she had to remain composed, but it was harder and harder to keep up such a front with the indescribable chaos that was rioting inside her. “I can think on my own, so would people just stop trying to think for me? I know myself and my body much better than anyone after all, so just… let me think for myself!”
Having said that, Yui turned away lifted a hand to her face to quickly dry away the falling tears before Jin could see them. Normally she was fine with him seeing all her weaknesses, but just not today. Today it wasn’t fine at all.
Now Jin got up to his feet and carelessly threw the script down at the couch. Looking at Yui’s back with annoyed eyes and thus failed to notice how she obviously wasn’t doing very well, he put his arms out before letting them fall to his sides again.
“You work too freakin’ much,” he commented then, figuring he should just tell her what he had been thinking for quite a while now. “Normally women who are pregnant stop working about two months before the due date and now it’s just about one month left. I mean look at you! You’re exhausted!”
“Don’t tell me what I am and not!” Yui yelled back, her voice cracking as she did and not daring to look over her shoulder as Jin would then instantly be able to tell she was crying (if her voice hadn’t given her away already). To escape the humiliation of being so weak when she really tried to be strong and stand up for herself against all the things that had been going against her lately, the young woman rushed towards their bedroom and hurried to close and lock the door behind her so that she’d be allowed some privacy for a few minutes at least or however long Jin would take to figure out the simple lock.
Having not followed at all, Jin just looked at the closed door in surprise as he heard it close. Shortly there after noticing how it got locked; he sighed at himself and walked towards it with small steps. He had just messed up, hadn’t he? For some reason he just never noticed until it was too late and thus they often ended up angry at each other or arguing for ages… but somehow he seemed to never learn.
“Yui I’m sorry,” Jin mumbled then and gently putting a hand on the handle despite knowing it was locked, he leaned against the white door, tapping it a little with his finger. “I’m sorry, okay?”
Hearing Jin apologize, Yui only cried more and leaned her back against the door while she hid her face in the palms of her hands that got soaked as she sobbed, trying to not make a sound. Despite being torn between continuing to be angry and just wanting to open the door and let Jin hold her, she kept the door closed to hide her trembling self.
“Just… leave me alone for a while…,” she begged, not wanting to admit to herself that her voice most likely gave everything away now anyway. The door between them was becoming more and more pointless.
The first couple of times this had happened, Jin had insisted on that he wanted to make up quickly and he had honestly no idea of how many times he had apologized then. But as he knew now that things normally would get better and more normal if he just did as he was told, Jin mumbled a short ‘okay’ before he turned to go back to the couch. He really didn’t like this though. It made him feel so guilty and while he could deal with guilt over certain things, knowing that he had made Yui cry again… it was just too much. It wasn’t as it was something he did on purpose, of course not, but it was still really… tiring to know. He made his girlfriend cry, wasn’t he just the best boyfriend ever?
As Jin walked away, Yui sank down on the floor and just let the crying be as intense as it needed to be. Hunching over slightly, she pulled her shoulders up, making herself seem smaller as she really felt just small and helpless. Jin probably was right about that she needed to work less now, but having already been told so much today what to do, she hadn’t wanted to hear that from Jin of all people, but deep down, she knew he was just concerned and so it didn’t take long for her to be defeated by the feeling of loneliness. Giving in, she raised her hand and unlocked the door and if he heard the click, well that was her sign to him that he was forgiven now.
Of course there was no way that Jin could miss that. He had been waiting for it after all, so when he finally heard that click he quickly put away the script again and rose from the couch. Making up this way, when there was a wall or a door between them was always a bit weird though, he had to admit it definitely was kind of weird, but something like that had never stopped him before and it wouldn’t stop him now either.
“Yui…,” he mumbled carefully as he stood by the door and after having pushed the handle down a little and then let the door slide open, he soon saw her sitting at the edge of the bed with her head lowered.
Immediately hurrying up to, not sit by her side just yet, but just stand a step in front of her, he raised his eyebrows in concern as he tried to get a look of her face.
Trying to dry her tears even though they hadn’t stopped just yet, Yui nodded and felt like crying harder again in relief that Jin was now in the room. Considering how she’d acted and felt previously, it of course didn’t make sense, wasn’t the slightest bit rational, but she blamed the hormones. Things had gotten weird like this so many times since she got pregnant and she could only hope her usual patience would return fully once the baby was born. A child would need all the patience it could get after all and presently it probably just wasn’t enough.
Getting that nod was like receiving an ‘okay’ and with that Jin sat down next to his girlfriend. He hated seeing her sad, hated to see that she wasn’t feeling well and thus he hurried to wrap an arm around her shoulders and hold her closer. It was a bit difficult to hug her properly not only because of how they were sitting but because her stomach was in the way too. But hopefully this was enough, it usually was but sometimes she demanded more.
Not quite satisfied, but knowing how to make things better, Yui turned into Jin’s chest and clutched his shirt with her hand, desperate for his comfort even though she really didn’t know how her day had gotten quite this bad. Things had just stocked up though and then a mood swing had come and toppled the mountain over. Now she was sitting there in the mess of it, but having Jin hold her, it felt like it cleared up a bit. Having him embrace her like this, she didn’t feel so lonely and helpless anymore, but rather protected and warm, just like she’d felt when this child growing within her had been created. It was a bit embarrassing to think, but whenever they embraced each other like that, she really felt protected.
Now that he was hugging her like this, Jin felt a little bit as if he was supposed to say something. As if he was supposed to say something comforting and nice and just really… something that somehow made everything so much better. Jin had never been that kind of person though, and he knew this. He knew himself well enough to know that he wasn’t that kind of person and if he tried he just ended up making a complete fool out of himself… He had always been more of the blunt kind.
“Don’t cry,” he mumbled after a while as he stroke her back in a way he hoped was calming. “I… ‘m here, y’know…” Okay so maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say?
That was enough for Yui though, his effort was enough for her to understand how much he wanted her to cheer up and his good will never failed to reach out to her even if his blunt ways sometimes complicated things or made them take a little longer than they had to.
A bit rudely grabbing his shirt and drying of her tears, she realized too late what she was doing to his article of clothing and quickly let it go, sitting back a little as she shyly looked down at it.
“Sorry,” she started regretfully. “For using your shirt like that…”
Sniffling some, she brushed the back of her hand against her cheek, but with little effect.
Of course, as always in situations like these, Jin’s shirt was light (blue) and he immediately noticed how make-up now made a part of it black. By now he could only smile at it though and thus he shook his head slightly before pulling Yui into a hug again.
“As long as it’ll go away after washing, it’s cool,” he said in reply as he put a hand at the back of Yui’s head. “And it has before so it should…”
Feeling rather embarrassed upon receiving such a comment, Yui once again hid her face in the palm of her hands, but this time not to hide tears. She could feel her cheeks flaring and shaking her head slightly, she took a couple of steadying breaths before letting the hands fall. Not wanting to look up at Jin just yet, she rested her head against his shoulder instead and closed her eyes, relishing in the feel of having him close and reached a hand out for his – the one that wasn’t already holding her.
“I’m sorry…,” she apologized again, feeling stupid for having done such a mistake more than once. She should make a habit of washing off all make-up first thing when she came home, but then again… this time there hadn’t really been time so it wouldn’t have helped anyway. Maybe she could get some of those make-up removal wipes and then she could clean her face off while her manager took her home.
Then realizing how stupid that had sounded, Jin hurried to shake his head as he let his hand fall down on her shoulder and hugged her close.
“Don’t apologize,” he mumbled, wanting to add that he should be the one to apologize but didn’t… because if problems with his pride and such. It really was all his fault though, if he had just noticed how Yui was today then maybe this shouldn’t have happened? But damn if it wasn’t difficult to read her sometimes… and Jin was the kind of person who wasn’t great with reading people in the first place! Having a pregnant girlfriend made everything much, much more difficult.
They both fell silent, just sitting there cuddling a bit, Yui looking down at their now clasped hands, liking how Jin’s thumb kept caressing her index finger. It was moments like these that she treasured the most when they were together. It didn’t matter that they’d just had a fight – now they could just sit there quietly and just… be together.
“Jin…,” she still changed the atmosphere just slightly though, having a thought on her mind that she wanted to voice. “I wonder what our baby will be like…”
The older one was silent for a while then, not quite sure of what to answer to that. He wondered too of course, but what did he want it to be like? Like the most perfect son or daughter ever of course…
“Hopefully a lot like you,” he answered after a while and smiled a little, he really hoped that. Yui was a great person after all, she was calm and collected, really smart and she was really beautiful too. Of course she got upset – she’d gotten upset even before her hormones had started to kick in like that, but it was all normal and somehow she was just even more adorable when she was angry. Yelling at him for having done something stupid… he couldn’t help but like it, actually.
Yui laughed a little, of course feeling charmed by that even though she didn’t quite have the same hopes. It would be great if the child wasn’t so much like her at all actually as it was more interesting when people who were different met than when you met someone that reminded you a lot of yourself.
“Maybe it won’t be like either of us at all…?” she then suggested as that was possible too. Maybe they got a child that was more like… well like anyone but the two of them. Maybe a child that was a lot like Ryo or like Koki. Maybe their child would be really intelligent or maybe a complete goofball. Whatever it was though, Yui was sure they’d still love it. It was their after all – a treasure she’d carried and they both had worked hard to protect for so long now and in not too long it would be born. It was actually getting quite exciting now. Unclasping their hands, Yui took Jin’s hand and put it on her stomach under hers while smiling shyly.
Jin looked down then, smiling slightly at how it looked – him holding his hand against her stomach and she holding her hand over his. It was such a small thing but it meant so ridiculously much… It felt really weird though – it must feel really weird for women to be pregnant. To have another life in their stomach, to have… to go around with this for nine months, surely it was really… weird and difficult?
“Doesn’t it hurt?” he asked then, knowing very well that he had asked tons of questions about pregnancy right in the beginning, but it was different now though, wasn’t it? Her stomach was so… big and… stuff.
”Eh, why would it hurt?” Yui asked at that, not seeing how it was supposed to hurt. Things hurt when they weren’t meant to be and while this child sort of hadn’t been planned, it wasn’t a physically unhealthy state she was in so of course there was no pain. “My hips and my back get a little tired, but it doesn’t really hurt or anything…”
Looking at the father of the child, she blinked her big and innocent eyes at him, wondering what was moving around in his head. Maybe he was thinking of the baby moving around in there, kicking her in the sides or the gut or something? The doctor had told her that that might happen, that if she got a really lively kid, it might kick around and manage to strike an organ somewhere and that could be a bit painful, but not all pregnancies were like that and so far it seemed to be a pretty calm baby.
“That’s good…,” Jin mumbled a bit absentmindedly, though he still didn’t quite understand how it couldn’t hurt and thus he looked down at his own stomach that were no where close to being as big as Yui’s. Which was a good thing of course, if he’d go all fat he’d lose his job… but imagine if he would be the one having a whole damn baby inside? Surely it must hurt…?
“…weird though… why doesn’t it? I mean…”
Looking at Yui again, Jin frowned a bit as he stroke his hand on her stomach, unable to think of anything else right now but how it must feel to have a baby inside and when that baby moved and all. It was probably one hell of an experience, something that men would never know what it really was like…
”It’s really nice,” Yui finished the initiated sentence, knowing much better than Jin what it actually was like after all. “I’m really glad that things came to this…”
Her voice fading out, she just closed her eyes and relished in the feeling of the family being gathered, even if a third of it was still unborn. They were all there though, all three together and it felt so good. At times it felt really huge and overwhelming that a baby was on the way, but right now it just felt comfortable and good. Yui really had no regrets in the present. As long as she would have just this, she felt that she could be content. Happiness didn’t need to take that much after all, it was really simple if you allowed it to be and she quite liked it like that.