WHO: Oswald Selwyn and Sullivan Burke. WHEN: 23 December 1997. WHERE: Some muggle theatre. SUMMARY: TITANIC RATING: PG. STATUS: Completed log.
Sully Burke had been so excited to see a film, he practically bounced. It was the ultimate act of rebellion, a way to satisfy his curiosity and be entertained all at the same time. In short: a perfect way to spend a night.
Except bouncing made all the firewhisky in his belly slosh around, so he tried not to. Instead, he sat in the plush theater seat, mesmerized by gigantic screen with moving images and blaring sound. Before the main feature, Titanic had even Sully was hooked on muggle films. He had never felt immersed in an theatrical experience before and grabbed Oswald’s arm in excitement as he watched the film unfold. Sully barely even remembered to take an occasional sip from the flask he’d snuck in.
He gripped Oswald’s arm even closer when the ill-fated ship began to sink. “What is going on?” he whispered. “This can’t be happening! Those poor people!”
Oswald’s reasons for wanting to see a muggle movie were nearly the same as Sully’s - it was a huge ‘FUCK YOU’ to all of the people he currently hated, and a way to satiate some of his intense curiosity surrounding all of the muggle things he’d always been denied. For someone who wanted to know anything and everything about everything, to realise that there was a whole other world in such close proximity that was forbidden to you was completely unacceptable. In fact, the very fact that he was not supposed to learn about anything outside of the wizarding world just made him want to learn everything about it that much more - it wasn’t often that he got to feel like a badass just by learning.
What he hadn’t expected was that it would be this enthralling. He was on the edge of his seat, wide-eyed, from the very beginning of the film. He was fully enjoying the spectacle and romance of it all until everything on the screen suddenly decided to go to shit. He clung to Sully’s arm with equal vehemence when the ship began to sink.
“What? I don’t… I don’t know… it has to turn out all right, right? I mean, someone will save them, or… or… “ Oswald let out a gasp of horror as the ship began to break in half, scattering more terrified passengers into the frigid water. “This can’t happen! This isn’t supposed to happen! They can’t die - they’re in love!”
Sully emitted a semi-drunken whimper. “Nooo…!” He buried his face in Oswald’s shoulder. “I can’t watch! If only they had magic,” he hissed. Maybe that was the twist, he thought! Surely everything would be okay in the end. That’s how the best stories were supposed to go, he knew.
The unexpected tragedy onscreen was having a sobering effect on Oswald, and he pulled Sully close in an attempt to comfort him, although he himself was unable to look away. He kept thinking that any minute now, something was going to swoop in and save everyone. Everything had been fine up until this point! Leonardo DiCaprio dragged Kate Winslet onto a floaty bit of wood and starts giving her a heartfelt speech.
“Noooooooooooo! Why is this happening?” Oswald half-whispered, half-squealed, as though Sully could somehow make things better.
Sully had looked back up to see what was happening. He felt like he both couldn’t watch and had to watch. It was a strange feeling. “Oh Merlin no, he can’t die. Not now! Their love is so… fucking…” Sully couldn’t finish his sentence as he got too choked up. He tried to discreetly wipe at the wetness that was not welling up around his eyes. Then he took another sip from his flask. This was all too much to handle.
But alas, a happy ending was not to be, and Leonardo died a selfless popsicle bobbing in the North Atlantic ocean. Oswald’s devastated tears were not all that discreet. It was his turn to sob into Sully’s shoulder. This felt like a betrayal. This had been a horrible idea. He’d gone into this hoping to be entertained, educated maybe, but what he’d received was a tremendous punch to the feelings.
He fumbled for his own drink and downed the rest of it, dumping a quarter of it onto his face as he tried to stifle his tears. “How could they do this? Why would anyone write such a horrible ending, Sully?” he asked.
Sully couldn’t believe what he was watching. It took him the rest of the movie, watching slack-jawed to accept that Jack was really dead. While the credits rolled, he muttered to himself. “No, no, no! That was a rubbish ending. Completely rubbish!” he complained bitterly before dissolving into full-on tears himself. And now they were out of firewhisky.
“Are all muggle films that terrible?” he wondered out loud.
Oswald felt as though someone had torn out his heart and stomped all over it. He was crushed, inconsolable. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever feel all right again. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any more booze to dull his disappointment. “I hope not. If they were, all muggles would probably just get crawl into bed and die, or something. I don’t understand at all.” Oswald sniffled, rubbing at his eyes with his shirtsleeves. He wallowed in his misery thoughtfully for a few moments longer before suggesting warily, “I suppose we could try another, just to see. They’re playing others in the rooms next door.
Rubbing at his red, bloodshot eyes, Sully nodded slowly. “There’s… there’s got to be some happy ones, right?” he asked, trying to stop blubbering. “You’re right. It’d be too bloody depressing if they weren’t,” he said, standing up shakily. “Let’s see what else is playing, then.”
Oswald followed his lead, still utterly failing to not look look like he’d been sobbing uncontrollably for the better half of that movie. “There have to be some happy ones. I think I saw an advertisement for one called Spice World on the way in here - a film about spices can’t be all bad, can it?”
Sully vaguely wondered if they shouldn’t run to the loo to wash their faces or something while listening to Oswald. He agreed. “Spice World? That does sound a bit jolly, somehow. I don’t know why. I think that film broke my brain. But let’s give it a go. If it’s rubbish, we can just leave.” He sighed, still missing their firewhisky.