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Tweak says, "I bet it's edible."

perez hilton take 2 (

meddling) wrote in

blurb,
@ 2009-03-08 21:11:00

It's a Nice Day for a White Wedding

Does it seem fishy to anyone else that the Lacorte-Deluca nuptials were apparently downsized and pushed up three months at the last minute? Sources close to the couple have revealed exclusively to us that the new Mrs. demanded things be sped up because she's been sperminated and refused to walk down any aisle with a visible baby bump. It's no secret how whipped Trevor is and considering the two sinners have already been living together a few months it's not entirely shocking that they'd land themselves in a sticky situation. We're guessing Alix started poking holes in the condoms or Trevor's so desperate for his music career to take off that he's already promised their first born to the devil. Hey little sister, what have you done? The jury is out on whether or not James will murder Trevor before the second trimester.

Scissoring Champ Bats For Other Team

Let's face it, a black eye looks better on Nico than Brett does! Blame it on post-traumatic stress syndrome, but from what we hear, a lack of luck with the ladies has sent Brett Atruzzo packing from Vaginatown with a one-way ticket to the dark side. The real reason she so bitterly demanded to know which Longport switch hitters are primarily into women was because she's looking to expand her hit list beyond that Geoff kid, Nicky Borman, and Xavier Angelini (who she's apparently already doing the deed with). But apparently, Brett's revolving door isn't all that's interesting the world of scissoring! Apparently there are some hidden dykes in our midsts - ones who enjoy partner (and VD) swapping! We know sexual ambiguity is all the rage these days but some days even we forget how sleazy you kids really are.

Don't forget to wrap it before you tap it, Longport.
xoxo

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