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bl_neville ([info]bl_neville) wrote in [info]bloodlines_rp,
@ 2009-10-05 07:13:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:angelina johnson, cho chang, dec 2002, greta svindle (npc), loc: private residence (blackthorn), mandy brocklehurst, neville longbottom, peter malotti (oc), type: rp

Till....
Date & Time: 5 December 2002
Post Type: RP
Status: Closed: Complete
Character(s): Neville Longbottom, Mandy Brocklehurst, Angelina Johnson, Cho Chang, Peter Malotti, Greta Svindle (NPC)
Location: Magnolia Manor
Summary: Neville spends a sickly but pleasant day home alone.
Warning: Character death


Neville hadn't slept well last night. It was more worry than illness, though, so he hadn't brought it up to Mandy that morning. He wasn't going to let this bloody disease change his mind about getting married, or Mandy moving in, or any of it...but he was completely terrified that Mandy and the baby were going to catch it now. He'd move to touch her, then hesitate, have to remind himself that she had really good charms in place already. He hadn't quite realised until today just how tiring it was.

She'd made him promise to rest today while she was at work, though, and he'd had a bit easier time resting when he was alone. He'd taken a nap after breakfast, curled up in front of a blazing fireplace. It was the one place in the flat that he wasn't so cold he could barely breath for shivering. There, or in a hot shower, but he still got too dizzy to stand up for long spurts without having trouble. The one he'd managed had been brilliant, though. He'd very nearly washed away all feeling of having been in the hospital.

After a meagre sort of lunch--he still found that he wasn't terribly hungry--Neville sat down at his desk with a few pieces of parchment and wrote some letters. His hands were a little shaky, but they were getting steadily better, too, like everything else about him. He knew it would take some time, but his friends who'd caught this illness seemed infinitely better from their first month, so he was hopeful that Christmas would still be a good time this year.

And soon after that, his wedding.

He wrote to Dean, Seamus, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and everyone else he could think of, suggesting they get together one evening to celebrate Christmas. Nothing fancy, of course, but he thought he'd like a small gathering of friends. Maybe they could even tell everyone about Prawn--he rolled his eyes at himself even thinking about the baby that way, but he no longer tried to fight it--then instead of waiting until after the wedding. He really wanted to tell everyone now.

Setting those aside for sending later, he pulled out another piece and stared at it for a long while. He didn't need to write Mandy a letter, but after all of the others, he wanted to. Their relationship had been conducted in large part by letters, for years, and while he definitely preferred having her in person, there was something nice about having words in such a concrete, permanent form. He was sure she felt the same way about it.

By the time he got to the end of the letter, it was getting late. Mandy would be home soon, likely with dinner, and he wanted to be clean and ready to spend the evening with her. He considered the parchment in front of him, then folded it up and moved carefully to his dresser, pausing once as a dizzy spell hit him. It wasn't as bad as some others he'd had, though, and for that he was thankful. When it had passed, Neville pulled out the little jewellery box where he stashed all important things and put the letter inside. When he was feeling better and able to go back to work, and they had a day apart, he'd leave it for her.

He didn't quite feel up to a shower, but he scrubbed off with a flannel and changed into clean clothes that were meant for something other than sleeping. A check of the clock confirmed that Mandy was getting off work. He felt restless, wanted to do something for her. She had to be exhausted after the stress of the last couple of weeks, even if she didn't actually want to tell him that. He wasn't able to do much, but surely there was something....

Then Neville smiled. There were those little tomatoes she liked so much, growing on the roof of the building. Hopefully the protection charms he had around them to allow them to grow out of season had held; usually he went up every day to check on his little garden, even if it didn't actually need daily maintenance. He was supposed to be relaxing, but that wasn't technically work, was it? It would only take a few minutes.

Slipping on his shoes, he headed out into the hallway, running one hand along the wall to make sure he stayed steady on his feet. It felt nice to be out on his own, without someone trailing after his every move, and he hummed some tune whose name he didn't know. It hadn't looked like it was raining out, and he smiled as he climbed the stairs, looking forward to a few minutes alone with his plants. They always had calmed him, even when times were trying.

The stairs hit a landing and then twisted upward again, and a fresh wave of dizziness hit him about halfway up the second portion. Neville gripped the railing and closed his eyes, willing it to pass. This was one of the worse ones, the ones had usually landed him back in bed, but he was determined. If he could just make it up to the roof, then he'd be able to lounge up there until he felt better.

He managed one step, then another. Then his foot slipped, and he flailed for purchase for a split second before tumbling to the landing below.



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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 12:20 pm UTC (link)
Could this day have gone any more slowly? Anything that could have gone wrong had, and by the time her shift was over, Mandy was beyond ready to go. She stuffed work robes into her locker, grabbed her handbag and her coat, and Apparated home without even putting it on. She'd been waiting for to get out of there all day. To get home. Not to the house she shared with Rachel, but to Neville's. It was home now. Or would be, soon enough. It was amazing how quickly she'd got used to the idea, she thought, heading up the stairs to get out of her work things.

Mandy showered quickly, then dressed, throwing a few more things into a bag. She'd been taking clothes and things slowly, a bagful at a time, and had most of the little stuff moved already. She was staying there more often than not anyway, and it only made sense to have everything she'd need. In the bathroom, she tucked a few things into the top, then zipped it shut and headed down the stairs.

She made her way through the kitchen, pulling a dish from the refrigerator. Rachel had made an enormous chicken pie and set half of it aside for Mandy to take to Neville's this evening. "You won't feel like cooking, but he needs to eat, and it's better than takeaway." Mandy had laughed, but agreed to come home and pick things up before going to Neville's. She set the dish into the hamper that sat ready, and she could see that Rachel had added a bottle of her favourite fizzy lime drink, as well as what looked like chocolate cake in a plastic container.

Neville probably wouldn't eat much of it, but she and Prawn could certainly put a dent in the rest.

She shut the hamper, then retrieved her bag and Apparated to the landing outside Neville's flat. She didn't want to startle him by Apparating into the flat, and if he was sleeping, she didn't fancy waking him. He was getting stronger slowly, but he still tired easily, and she knew that would likely last for a while. She didn't mind resting with him, actually…

She moved into the flat, dropping her bag by the door. It was quiet, so she called out softly, "Neville?" No answer told her he was likely sleeping, and she took her basket into the kitchen, putting the pie into the refrigerator and leaving the rest on the counter.

Her feet made no sound on the carpet as she walked into the bedroom. But the bed was empty. The bathroom door stood ajar and she pushed it the rest of the way open, turning on the light. Mandy frowned. "Neville?" It was odd that he wasn't in the flat, but maybe he'd gone across the hall?

She didn't really think so, but she walked back through the bedroom, checking the balcony on the way by, making her way through the flat, checking the table and the countertop for notes, and fighting the growing sense of unease she felt. He'd better not be overdoing things, wherever he was, she thought, walking back through the empty sitting room and into the corridor.

Mandy paused to think. Where would he have gone? Her fingers tapped at the doorframe as she thought, looking down the hall, then back in the other direction.

Of course. The stairway that led to the roof. "You'd better just be sitting in that lounge," she muttered, turning to pull the door shut, then headed up the steps.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 12:22 pm UTC (link)
Mandy noticed the shape on the landing first; the dim light nearly hid the dark stain that lay under it. She went up the next two steps slowly, a knot of horror building in her chest, then froze, one hand over her mouth.

Neville…

The shape on the landing. Neville. Sprawled in a shadowy tangle of limbs, a pool of darkness under his head.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 12:22 pm UTC (link)
It felt like forever before she could breathe.

Her breath felt like a sob, and she scrambled up the last steps, dropping to her knees beside him. "Neville!" She knelt over him, shaking his shoulders gently at first, then more vigorously. "Neville. Gods… Neville!"

This couldn't be happening. Couldn't be real. Her wand was in her hand in a flash and she'd cast a charm, a desperate, whispered renervate on her lips, and she shook his shoulder, crying out the incantation again.

"Renervate!"

But there was no response. No breath. Nothing… Only the chill of his skin, and the sticky wetness on her hands. She lifted them in the dim light of the stairwell, looking with horror at the deep red that covered them before falling across his body, clutching handfuls of his jumper.

The hall filled with a low, keening sound, followed by screams that seemed to be coming from very far away.

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[info]bl_cho
2009-10-05 12:25 pm UTC (link)
Cho hadn’t been home long but her table was already covered with the books and parchments she had brought from work. Despite a full day in the apothecary, she still needed a few more hours to finish some of the reports.

She had just taken a seat at the table when she heard the screams outside her door. Her wand was already drawn as she went into the hallway. The cries were louder, even more chilling as it was evidently someone in distress, and coming from the stairwell. After running to the landing, she could see Mandy on her knees on the landing leading to the roof. “Mandy! What’s happened?”

It was only after she had run up the stairs that Cho saw Neville. Merlin, no! The shock of seeing Neville lying there, so still and bloody, was like a stunning spell to the chest. She shook her head but that didn’t change what she saw. She quickly knelt on the landing and placed a hand on Mandy’s back as she checked Neville’s neck for a pulse. He was cold, too cold. She needed to get help and knew Peter Malotti lived downstairs. She didn’t want to leave Mandy like this but Peter would know what to do, for Neville and for Mandy. Cho was becoming increasingly worried for Mandy and her baby as her body racked with sobs.

“Mandy, listen to me. I need to get Peter but I’ll be right back –” Cho paused as she heard someone running onto the landing below. She turned around, relieved to see it was Angelina. She yelled down the stairs, “Ang, please go and get Peter Malotti from downstairs! It’s Neville, and he needs a Healer.” Cho wrapped an arm around Mandy’s shoulders as she tried to provide some measure of comfort. She knew Mandy wouldn’t leave Neville’s side and she could understand that. She looked down at Neville’s face and he looked … She blinked away tears as she held Mandy tighter. “Angelina’s getting Peter. Just try to hold on."

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 12:42 pm UTC (link)
"I don't know," Mandy managed, shaking her head. Sticky fingers scrabbled for her wand, and she gripped it tightly. He needed a Healer. She was a Healer... Her wand moved out of instinct and she whispered a sobbing litany of spells; everything she could think of, and some twice.

"Wake up," she begged, and Cho said something, from somewhere very far away, but it didn't make any sense. "Please wake up," she whispered, her fingers stroking at Neville's hair, across his temple. "Open your eyes, love. Please wake up..."

The chill that had been building inside her felt absolute now. Nothing around her mattered. Only Neville. He had to wake up, open his eyes, move... "Breathe," she sobbed helplessly, praying that he'd hear her. This couldn't be true. He couldn't be...

"Don't you dare leave me..."

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[info]bl_angelina
2009-10-05 01:38 pm UTC (link)
Angelina sat down on her couch after cracking open her living room window. The cool breeze whipped through the room, and she inhaled deeply. She was hot after coming in from an exhausting evening flight, and the breeze chilled her skin. She leaned back and stretched her legs, then her entire body tensed.

Someone was screaming. A woman--or was it a child? Angelina snatched her wand from the coffee table and wrenched open her door. The screams were louder. She ran for the staircase. Cho shouted for her to get Peter. Peter Malotti. Who is Peter Malotti? Her brain was sluggish, slow to engage. The Healer downstairs!

She ran for him, not bothering to question why Cho needed a Healer. She struggled to remember which door was his, then she pounded on the one she believed was the correct choice.

"Peter!" she shouted. "We need you. It's Angelina Johnson from upstairs. Peter!"

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 01:54 pm UTC (link)
Peter laughed. It was unusual for him to choose a farce to read, but this book had caught his attention in the bookstore--he'd knocked it from the table with his hip--and he'd bought it on a whim. Now he was glad because so far, he'd laughed out loud at least ten times.

He rocked the kitchen table chair back on two legs and balanced himself with the book in his lap. He nearly fell out of it when someone banged on the door. Peter struggled for balance and stumbled out of the chair. He opened the door and saw a face he recognised but was not familiar with.

"Wh-what's wrong?" he asked. The tall, dark woman didn't answer. She looked down, saw his wand in his hand, and jerked him out of his flat and up the stairs. As they rushed up the stairs, he could hear the sounds of voices and crying.

Cho. Mandy. And a dark shape in the shadows. Peter ran to them. "What--" The word collapsed on his tongue, fell away and left behind an empty space. Neville. Peter cast Protective Charms on himself and then on everyone present. He slid Cho out of the way and knelt beside Neville. Peter touched the wizard's face, neck, and wrist. The body was much too cold. He looked at Cho, Mandy, then at Angelina. "How long as he been like this?" he demanded. There was a lot of blood. Peter pointed his wand at it and cleaned it away.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 02:29 pm UTC (link)
Another voice. Someone moving... Mandy couldn't tell who it was, couldn't care, not now. Not now.

"Please," she whispered, exhausted. "Please don't do this..." Her throat ached from sobbing, her vision blurred by tears that wouldn't be blinked away, and in the middle of it all, a familiar voice.

Mandy looked up, finding Peter's concerned face, and reached for his wrist, unmindful of the blood on her hands. "Do something," she begged, clutching at Neville's jumper with her other hand. "Peter, please..."

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 03:02 pm UTC (link)
Merlin. Peter's heart pounded against his ribs. His blood pumped so frantically, he could feel it pulsing in his temple, in his neck. Peter cast a spell on Neville's body--it was meant to indicate life, a beating heart, breath in the lungs. The lack of response to the spell made it difficult for him to swallow. No, no, no.

Peter cast another charm on Neville's body so he could lift him. Then Peter slipped his hands beneath Neville's body and hoisted him up in his arms. Neville's head threatened to roll to the side, so Peter adjusted him, so his head rested against Peter's body.

"I'm going to St. Mungo's," he said. "Someone bring Mandy. She does not Apparate alone." Then with a 'pop' he was gone.

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[info]bl_cho
2009-10-05 09:50 pm UTC (link)
Cho watched helplessly as Mandy made frantic attempts to get a response from Neville. She held onto Mandy, trying to steady her and murmured words she hoped were comforting. She felt numb as she kept thinking this couldn't be happening. Not Neville. When Peter arrived and took charge, Cho was grateful he was there. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. Cho could only watch in silence as a cold feeling of dread took hold.

Peter picked up Neville and quickly Apparated to the hospital. Angelina was taking care of Mandy and took her as a Side-Along next. The landing was now eerily quiet. Cho shivered and wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she followed everyone to St. Mungo's.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 03:32 pm UTC (link)
Warm hands loosened her grip on Neville's jumper, from Peter's wrist. A soft voice urged her to let go, just let go, and then he was gone. Gone...

She struggled to get to her feet, but she'd been kneeling so long. Her foot was numb, and she collapsed against the warm body beside hers, sobbing helplessly. "Neville," she whispered, pulling her wand against her chest, arms tight around her body.

She pressed her lips tightly together, willing herself not to be sick, don't be sick, no, not here...

The arms tightened around her and she turned toward Angelina, one arm sliding around the girl's waist, biting her lip against the squeeze of Apparition.

A&E was blindingly bright, and Mandy sagged to the floor, eyes tightly closed, breathing through her mouth. Don't be sick... The combination of Apparition and stress proved too much, though, and she heard voices even over the sound of throwing up, and someone murmured the spell to vanish the mess. A cloth touched her lips. She caught hold of it, wiping at her mouth, then spat into it before letting it fall, crumpled, to the floor.

"Where is he?"

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 04:03 pm UTC (link)
Peter called out to anyone as soon as he arrived with Neville's body. He put him on a gurney and rolled him into an empty room, all the while he shouted for orderlies, potions, and help. Peter quickly attended to Neville's head wound--the blood had already congealed... The heart would have continued to pump blood out of the wound... If the heart had been pumping at all.

An orderly stood opposite Peter and touched the body. He looked up at Peter, a questioning look in his eyes. "Get me the stimulating drops!" Peter demanded. The orderly stared at him, his mouth hanging agape.

"But, Healer Malotti, this man is d--"

"Just do it!" Peter yelled. The orderly jumped and scurried out of the room. Peter touched Neville's forehead. He lifted his lids. Neville's blank eyes stared up at him, unfocused. "Come on, Neville," he said. "Don't do this. Don't do this. Mandy needs you. Mandy--" His voice broke. "Gods!" he cursed.

The orderly returned, and Peter opened Neville's mouth while the orderly dropped five drops onto the tongue. Peter closed Neville's mouth. Nothing happened. Then Peter cast a series of spells, charms, anything that might help. The room was shrinking. The walls were closing in--they had to be.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 04:15 pm UTC (link)
Time seemed to slow as the orderly and Angelina helped Mandy to her feet, then into the row of plastic chairs in the corridor. Someone pressed a paper cup of water into her hand, and she managed a drink without spilling before handing it off to someone else.

"Where is he," she managed, huddling into the chair, arms around her middle, wand still clutched in her hand. "It's taking so long..." Angelina's arm moved around her shoulders, and Mandy sagged against her, staring down the corridor at the curtains that cordoned off the beds. There was a bright red smear on one of them, and she couldn't take her eyes off of it.

She could hear voices, but they were muddled; either her head was fuzzy, or they'd cast a charm... Every minute that ticked by doubled, no, tripled the hollow feeling inside her. Soon there wouldn't be anything left.

Her hands clasped together around her wand, and her fingertips grazed the stones in her ring. Her ring... Their thistle... Mandy sobbed once, then turned into Angelina's waiting arms and simply let go.

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[info]bl_npc_stmungos
2009-10-05 04:23 pm UTC (link)
"Healer Svindle! Healer Svindle!"

Greta looked up from the bedside of a young woman, meeting the eyes of an anxious orderly. "You've got to come! A&E!" The orderly grasped the end of the patient's bed, gasping for breath, gesturing toward the lifts.

"Healer Malotti. One of the sick ones..."

Greta nodded, straightening and gesturing for the orderly in her ward. "Judith? Come help Mrs. Parker vith this potion? I'll be back as soon as I can." She passed over the dose and hurried from the ward, bypassing the lift and choosing the stairs. Even at her age, they'd be faster. The orderly waved her into a cubicle where Peter was working over a patient, and she drew her wand.

"Peter. Vhat happened? Who is this?" She moved around to the other side of the bed. The patient wasn't moving, wasn't responding. She cast a charm, and sighed at the absence of any indicator of life, and yet Peter continued to work.

She reached to touch his wand hand gently. "Peter. It's done. He's gone..."

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 04:49 pm UTC (link)
Peter could hear voices around him, but he wasn't going to stop. He couldn't stop. Neville wasn't dead. He was going to open his eyes. He was going to call Mandy's name. Peter would smile and someone would slap him on the back and say, 'Good job, Peter.'

Peter cast another charm. "Wake up, damn you!" he yelled. His voice sounded hoarse, dry, unlike his own.

Someone touched his hand and lowered his wand. He blinked at Healer Svindle. "No!" he shouted at her. "No, I'm not done here. He's not gone!" Peter looked at Neville's still body. "He's not gone," he whispered. Yet, Peter knew Neville had not been alive even when they'd found him.

Peter bent over double, pulled in large gulps of air, and felt his entire body tremble with nausea. He felt sure he was going to vomit. Mandy's face swam into view and he stood up so quickly, he swayed on his feet. He clutched Healer Svindle's arm. "Gods," he said desperately. "Mandy. I-I can't tell her I failed."

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[info]bl_npc_stmungos
2009-10-05 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Greta moved around the bed, not letting go of Peter's arm. "You did vhat you could, Peter." She glanced back at the bed, though, at the mention of Amanda, and her heart sank. It was the young Herbologist. Amanda's fiance...

"Oh, Merlin..." She was distracted though, by a lurch from Peter, and she reached for him, gripping his arm and one shoulder, steadying him as she could.

"You did vhat you could," she repeated, but it sounded hollow, even to herself, and she reached her wand around to clean up the sick.

"Is she here? Amanda? She should be told. Vould you like me to speak vith her? You should sit..." Greta urged him toward the chair in the corner of the cubicle, then turned back toward Neville.

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 05:12 pm UTC (link)
Peter's body contracted then released, and everything he'd had for dinner revolted. He'd never been sick at work. Never. His head throbbed, his stomach clenched, and his whole body felt cold and detached.

Healer Svindle pushed him into a chair, and his legs folded, causing him to land rather ungracefully in the seat. He bent over, putting his head between his knees. He still felt unstable, and his hands trembled. "She should be here," he croaked. "She's not alone." Surely Angelina or Cho would have made sure Mandy had someone to sit with her.

The thought of Mandy had him standing again. He swayed, cast a charm on himself, and stepped toward the door. "I should tell her. She should hear it from me." Hear that I couldn't save Neville. Gods, his insides were coiled so tightly he felt ready to snap in half as he searched for Mandy.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 05:35 pm UTC (link)
It had been so long. What was taking so long? It had been forever... Angelina had held her until she'd stopped sobbing, then wiped at her face and let her sit up, and now she...

Well. Now she sat. Her hands lay limply in her lap, her wand lay in the empty seat beside her. She stared off toward the end of the corridor, unwilling to look at the smears of blood on her clothes, or the dirt from the stairs ground into the knees of her trousers. She managed to find a nick in the wall and focused her attention on it. It was shaped like the end of a trolley; someone had bumped the wall rather hard to make that sort of impression. The top corner of it was rounded off oddly, and she tried to figure out why.

And then she saw Peter. He walked down the corridor toward her with the most exhausted expression, and a surge of anxiety flowed through her. Mandy got to her feet, taking only a few steps toward him, then stopped. He wasn't smiling. He should be smiling, and saying Neville was okay. He should be smiling...

A lone tear spilled down her cheek, and she tried to speak. But couldn't. The only question there was, and she couldn't ask it.

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 05:45 pm UTC (link)
Peter's heart was beating much too fast. His legs felt unstable, but still he walked toward Mandy. When she stood up and looked at him with the most hopeful expression he'd ever seen on her face, his body nearly collapsed. How could he continue to breathe knowing he was seconds away from shattering her life apart?

He wanted to reach out to her, to hold her, to tell her he would gladly shoulder her pain, but his arms wouldn't lift. "I--" His voice hitched. He blinked rapidly. "I did everything I could. But he..." Gods. Are you crying? His hand lifted. He saw it happening, but he hadn't known his arms were even listening to his brain anymore. He grabbed her hand. "He's gone."

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 06:24 pm UTC (link)
Gone. The word echoed in her head, over and over, from farther and farther away, until it didn't make sense anymore. Gone...

And she couldn't move. Gone. Neville? No... She shook her head, pulling her hand away from Peter's, whispering, "No. You're lying... You're wrong..."

But his eyes told her the truth. He wasn't wrong, wasn't lying, not that Peter would ever lie to her but Merlin she wished he was doing it now. Her vision blurred and her mouth trembled, and she shook her head again, and then she saw Healer Svindle coming out of the corridor and the look she gave Mandy was so full of pity...

"No..."

Gone... She took a step backward, away from Peter and his sad eyes, away from Svindle and her pitying look. One hand dropped to her belly, and she froze, her other hand pressed to her mouth to stifle the scream she could feel rising there, and she shook her head again, sure that she could convince them they were wrong, that it wasn't true. It couldn't be. "No..."

She felt Peter taking a step closer and reached blindly for him, and clung to handfuls of his jumper as her knees refused to hold her; his arm around her was all that kept her off the floor.

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 06:28 pm UTC (link)
Peter watched the expressions flit across Mandy's face. Denial. Sorrow. Confusion. Blame. Accusation. Denial. Acceptance. She moved away from him and his hand slipped from hers. His anchor to the present threatened to release him. He moved toward her. She touched her stomach, and Peter's throat closed.

She stumbled forward, her eyes losing focus. She clutched two fistfuls of his shirt, and Peter grabbed her, held her steady, but her legs were buckling. He scooped her up in his arms and turned. Healer Svindle said to take Mandy to her office, and Peter thanked her with his eyes before pushing past everyone.

Once he stood in Healer Svindle's office, he didn't know what to with Mandy. He thought of putting her down, but instead he held her close and rocked back and forth like he would have done with a child. Surely Healer Svindle would come and tell him what to do because he felt utterly lost.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 06:39 pm UTC (link)
Everything was falling. Falling away, falling apart, falling down. She felt herself being lifted and it didn't occur to her to wonder about it; she simply wrapped her arms around the neck of someone with more strength than she, letting everything go.

Wave after wave of grief poured over her. Neville was gone.

Dead...

They were moving and she was grateful, for the quiet, for the dark, for the warm arms that held her and rocked her and kept her from falling apart. "He's...," she whispered, but she couldn't say what he was. She clung to Peter, helpless to stop the sobs.

A shadow passed, and someone murmured something, but all she could hear was a heartbeat and shuddering breaths and the sound of absolute grief.

And she was sure it was hers...

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 06:52 pm UTC (link)
Peter didn't even know Healer Svindle was in the room until she touched his arm. He turned and saw she had transfigured something, likely her desk chair, into a chaise. Peter walked to the piece of furniture. He leaned over and put Mandy on it. As soon as she was out of his arms, he felt impossibly cold. And hollow. Her grief was all-consuming. It stretched out from her body, reaching for everyone with horrible wispy fingers. Peter was sure one was clutched around his throat.

He tried to move away, but Mandy clutched his jumper again, so he sat on the edge of the chaise and hesitated before pushing her hair from her face. He swallowed and drew in a long, shuddering breath. How could he make this right?

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 07:13 pm UTC (link)
He couldn't go, couldn't leave her; Mandy reached for Peter, grasping whatever met her fingers first, curling up on the softness he'd put her on. She closed her eyes, wishing everyone and everything would just go away, away, away. It couldn't be any darker, or any colder here...

A voice cut through the darkness, and a soft hand touched her cheek. "You rest. I've sent for Rachel to come take you home. And I've ordered you a sedative." The voice paused, and the hand stroked her cheek again. "I'm so very sorry, Amanda..."

Mandy curled up a bit tighter, one hand moving over her face, and she nodded. What was she supposed to say? Thank you? She found Peter's hand and squeezed it, then managed a deep breath. Then another.

She wanted to sleep, to give up and give in to the voice inside her that said sleep was good, but she couldn't. Wouldn't. She was strong. And she wasn't only herself anymore. She was a mother; Prawn needed her to not curl up into a ball and die, as much as she wanted to do just that right now.

The door opened and an orderly came into the room, a vial in one hand and a stricken look on his face. James. One of her favourites. "So sorry, Mandy," he whispered, passing the vial over to Greta. "I... So sorry..." He gave her a watery sort of look, then disappeared through the door, and somehow the fact that he knew made it more real than anything else so far.

She pushed herself to half-sitting, pulling a bit against Peter's hand, then held out her hand for the vial, drinking the contents without hesitation. She passed the empty vial to Peter, then wiped at her eyes again.

"I want to see him."

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 07:54 pm UTC (link)
Greta left to arrange for Rachel's replacement, and Peter took Mandy to see Neville. The corridors were clear of staff and Mandy wondered if Svindle had had anything to do with it. Her hand clung tightly to Peter's as they walked until they reached the doorway to the cubicle with the dark red smear on the curtain. She reached to touch the curtain, then turned to Peter.

There were a thousand things that she wanted to say, but nothing would come; the thoughts were a jumble of words and emotions, numbed by the potion she'd drunk.

Mandy glanced toward the curtain, then looked back at Peter, then threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you." Her throat tightened and she tightened her arms a bit more. "For taking care of him..."

Because he had. Peter would have done anything and everything that could be done, she knew he would, and it wasn't his fault at all, but she couldn't say any of that, so thank you had to be enough for now... She took a step back, letting him go, then turned to the curtain, her eyes brimming with tears.

She needed to see. And to say goodbye.

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[info]bl_peter
2009-10-05 08:23 pm UTC (link)
Peter didn't want Mandy to see Neville, not like that. Not cold and lifeless on the gurney, but he understood why she needed to. Everyone deserved a chance to say goodbye.

She was speaking to him, but her words sounded far away, and he didn't even think he deserved them. Yes, he had done everything he could, but still he had failed. He'd lost the most precious person in her life. He had wanted to save Neville. For her. For Prawn.

When she hugged him, he clung tightly to her, probably too tightly. So he released her and swallowed, trying to separate his tongue from the roof of his mouth. "Let me know--if--if you need anything," he said. Then he watched her walk to the curtain. Peter turned and left.

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[info]bl_mandy
2009-10-05 10:56 pm UTC (link)
Mandy nodded. If she needed anything…

She pushed the curtain aside and walked into the little room, stopping only a few feet inside. What she needed was lying right there. Still, and pale, and… lifeless.

Mandy stood for a very long moment, wondering when the panic would return. When she'd burst into tears and not be able to stop… And then she remembered. The potion. It hadn't only calmed her, she realised. She felt rather numb.

Numb.

And heartbroken…

She walked to the bed and stood beside it, then reached to touch Neville's face. His sweet, handsome face. Someone had cleaned away the blood and put a small dressing over his temple. Not that there was bleeding to stop, but she was grateful that she didn't have to see it, that wound… Her fingers brushed his hair off his forehead, and a tear skated its way down her cheek.

"Oh, Neville…" She smoothed the sheet that lay across his chest, then pulled it back to touch his hand. "What am I going to do without you? We're supposed to be doing this together." Her chest tightened, but the painful sob didn't come. "You and me, remember? I need you…"

Mandy clasped his fingers, lacing hers through them, her other hand closing his hand around hers, and she bent her forehead to their clasped hands. Her Neville… "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to let you go…" Warm tears dripped into their joined hands.

"I can't let you go, you know," she whispered, then looked at him again, at his face. His eyes were closed. She could almost imagine he was sleeping. Mandy moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his hand still clasped in hers, and reached to brush his fringe aside again. "I can't… You're part of me. Part of Prawn. Or whatever we call him, or her. It's you, alive inside me…" She wiped at her cheek.

"You know, as much as we didn't expect it, there's nothing I wanted more than a family with you. To marry you, and love our baby, and damn you, how can you leave me? How can you do this to me? I don't know how to do this by myself…" Her hand gripped at the shoulder of his jumper, and she burst into tears, hot and aching and dripping onto his skin.

"I need you…"

Mandy couldn't have said later how long she sat there, crying and whispering, begging and cursing, bargaining and touching his face. Long enough that her throat was sore, and her nose was red, and her eyes were aching from crying. Long enough that the shoulder of his jumper was soaked through…

"I don't know what to do without you," she whispered, leaning and pressing her lips to his cheek. "But I swear, I'll do my best. I'll take good care of Prawn, I promise…" She could hear Rachel's voice in the hallway, and she wanted to block it out, block her out, but she knew that she couldn't stay here forever. He couldn't stay here forever… She sat up, wiping tears from his skin, then leaned to kiss him again..

"I love you, Neville…"

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