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May. 24th, 2015


I think I'm comfortable enough with this body and my breakup that I can have sex now if anyone's interested.

Feb. 16th, 2015




Boo, Buzzfeed. First of all, 98% of those come from the early 2000s, second of all, WHERE IS MY WINONA, third of all, there's no flannel and you're dead to me Buzzfeed.

Jan. 28th, 2015


[ Filtered to Scottie M (younger) and Jackie ]

Remember how last summer I talked you two into going to a party with me? And then we wound up committing extremely-minor larceny? And then Scottie said "never again"? Let's do it again!

Okay, stay with me - a friend from the record store needs an ~intimate video~ off her ex-boyfriend's phone deleted. He's been threatening to make it public; he's a douche, blah blah. Anyway, he's throwing an anti-Valentines Day party next week and I told her I'd take care of it, not out of the goodness of my heart, but because this guy dared to (incorrectly) correct my pronunciation of arrière-pensée the last time I saw him and needs to be taken down a peg. I'd prefer to throw him off of the eighth floor fire-escape, but I'm going to guess Scottie will veto that. First thing we need to do is get the phone - I'll take care of that. Second thing we need to do is distract him so he's not looking for his phone - Jackie? Third thing we need to do is delete the video and make sure he hasn't uploaded it to his cloud thing. Scottie? You're better with modern tech crap than I am.

She's a good friend and she's let me borrow her family's vacation cabin a few times. Pleeeease? I'm going to do it anyway so you might as well make sure I do it right.

[ /Filter ]

Hales - there's chili in the slowcooker. If you lift the lid for a taste before I tell you you can so help me God I will destroy you.

Jan. 27th, 2015


I'm going to need someone to explain about Valentines Day, because I'm pretty sure it's one of those human things I don't get.

Jan. 12th, 2015


To everyone new here, hi or whatever. My name's Malia, and I like sad movies, picking all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box, and chasing gulls on the beach because gulls are assholes. My hobbies include schoolwork and avoiding schoolwork because every time I think I've got math figured out they give me something new to learn with it. There's entirely too much math in this world. I'm introducing myself this way because maybe I won't screw it u

I used to be a girl and I guess I still am, but the portal put me in this body. I'm pretty used to being in a body that I'm not supposed to be in, so it's not as big a deal as it is for some. Either way I think a lot of the "girls do this" and "boys do this" stuff I keep hearing about is utter crap because from what I can see we're all just doing what we're taught, and the idea of nature-versus-nurture is sort of upsetting to me because what's the point if everything about you is already figured out? I didn't always used to feel that way but nearly getting set fire to by assassins has a way of putting things into perspective.

This got deeper than I wanted it to get. Ugh. Bye.

Jan. 11th, 2015


Derica, what the hell did you and Petra stir up this time? Were the Darach and a psychotic Alpha not enough for you, because I was fine leaving the level of crazy at that.

[Genderswap!Cora Hale coming in from the end of season 3a]