blackpoint - the au community

( happy batman day! )

I did acid once. It was kind of like this. Only, more floating llamas, less cops telling me I'm fictional and usually have breasts.

Not that I'm against breasts. Or a well-fitting catsuit. I just tend to prefer them under me, not on me.

Anyway, Sebastian Kyle. Hello, nice to meet you, where's the exit, etc.

Bruce, stop breaking into the apartment. Seriously. Normal people use doors.

Selina gave me champagne. In the morning. But there was juice. So it's still breakfast.

I want an Olympic gold medal. Too bad coffee ordering isn't an Olympic sport.

This is one way to get rid of a police record.

This is quite the operation you've all got around here.

( Cut for image )

Time for my favorite part of the day:

Batman factoids.

Only one person has ever been known to answer the "Who would win in a fight - Batman or Superman?" question with "Superman". Batman didn't enjoy hurting Martha Kent, but examples must be made.

The Batmobile is black because Batman couldn't get it in a darker color.

Bullets don't bounce off of Batman's costume; They fly the other direction out of sheer terror.

Batman does not use hair product. His hair does what it is told. (This one is frighteningly true.)

Batman does not breathe. He holds air hostage for a while.

Batman does not really have a kryptonite ring. It's made of apple-flavored candy. He just intimidates Superman into losing his powers and feeling deathly ill.

Batman's jet has a thousand buttons, each of which do something different, including but not limited to time travel. None of them are labeled.

Batman COULD be President of the United States. It's just that he refuses to live in a white house. (Believe me, I've asked about the white paint)

( Reason number 3865439 why I need to get back to work )