Angel (talldarkbroody) wrote in blackpoint, @ 2015-03-05 23:04:00 |
|
|||
Even though he was just a human, the thing that Angel loved about Lindsey was how well he held himself in a fight. The younger man didn't see his status as a human as a weakness, but used it to every advantage he could push it. He fought smarter and harder than a lot of Angel's normal opponents and it kept him on his toes, which was exactly the kind of distraction Angel wanted at the moment. It was after the spar that the worries and thoughts that had been swirling around in his head lately came crashing back in. Laying on his back on the practice mats, he reached over and thumped Lindsey on the chest. "Good fight. You keep leaving your left open though." That wasn’t to say he didn’t have any weaknesses. Angel had a ton of them and that’s exactly why he was on his back and aching. If someone told him that he would eventually end up giving a damn about Angel beyond wanting to kick his ass, Lindsey would have called bullshit so fast, the word would be out of his mouth before the statement was finished. A few years later, there he lay close to Angel, breathing heavily from a good, long workout and feeling it in almost every muscle. Sparring with the vampire meant he had an advantage over others who stuck to the run of the mill humans and advantages he liked. Lindsey grunted as Angel’s hand hit his chest unexpectedly. “The left is tired of having to do anything, so it’s taking advantage. I’m trying to get the right to start pulling its weight again but, you know, evil,” he said, holding up the hand in demonstration. It was an excuse, something Angel probably knew as well as he did, but that was Lindsey’s way. Angel offered legitimate assistance, he replied with a flippant comment that hid his appreciation for the help. Appreciation. God, he actually had strong feelings for him, no doubt starting back during their most antagonistic years. Pushing it aside, he grabbed the hand. “‘sides, I’ve got other things in mind.” So sue him. A good hard spar sometimes put him in the mood. Angel definitely had no way of knowing that the lawyer would somehow snake his way past his defenses and become something of a friend. Those early years of knowing each other had given them a place, a way to see each other - as enemies that occasionally were on the same side. It was when they lined up against Wolfram & Hart, that their comfortable enemy status changed for something...more. Something like friendship. And Angel definitely should have known better than to continue to allow that to grow because Lindsey was exactly his type - a smartass who had no problem poking and prodding at him until he snapped. And snapped, he had. Except it had resulted in rushed kisses and bruised skin with a very satisfying afterglow. It kept happening over and over again too and now it was pretty much known that they were a thing. Boyfriends, if he was feeling particularly giddy. But it was hard to actually talk about the status of their relationship at any given time because, well, it was them. And that’s exactly what Angel wanted to do. Talk. About them. It was already painful thinking about the talk. Squeezing the hand that had captured his, Angel said, “I hope you meant talking about us.” There was silence for a stretch on Lindsey’s part as his mind had to jump tracks from what he’d had in mind to what Angel just said. A product of Wolfram and Hart’s survival of the fittest employment, Lindsey’s ability to talk about anything emotional was hit and miss at best. It either confused the hell out of him or resulted in an outburst of anger directed at the source of his confusion. Or trying to beat the hell out of his enemy, which he was slowly beginning to realize might have been the case when they’d first butted heads. Darla had been on to something at the time and Lindsey had dismissed it as Darla being Darla. “Like what we’re doing?” Lindsey finally ventured uncertainly. Neither one seemed to have a complaint where the sex was involved and beyond that...well, the sex was really good. That kept him from focusing on what he really felt, where things got just a little more complicated and deeper. “I’m talking about what we are to each other. I know what we’re doing. You know what we’re doing. I just don’t know what we want to call that.” Yes, Angel was, as hard as it was to believe, initiating the relationship talk. Or maybe it wasn’t that hard to believe. “Because I’m flying a little blind here and everything in my past has told me that I start messing up when I get to this point.” And if there was one thing Angel didn’t want, it was this relationship going up in flames like all his past relationships have. “We’re...” And that was about as far as Lindsey got. The one word was said with absolute certainty, but it trailed off into unsure. What, boyfriends? Dating? Was what they were doing even technically dating? Tucking an arm behind his head, Lindsey stared at the ceiling, brow furrowed and worrying his lip between in his teeth in thought. “Well, we started off having angry hate sex and that turned into ‘hey, we like this’ and now we’re...” He waved his free hand in the air. “I don’t know. Are we in a relationship here?” “Well, I really hope so because I’ve publically called you my boyfriend at least once or twice and I’d hate to take that back now,” Angel said, huffing out a sigh. Rolling up into a sitting position, he tugged at Lindsey until he was sitting up too and facing him. “Do you really think we hated each other before?” Upon reflection, Angel couldn’t definitively say that he had hated Lindsey at any point. Strongly disliked him and wanted to punch him in the head a few times, sure, but hated? It felt too strong of a word to use in hindsight. “Well, I’ve been telling all your friends as they arrived, so that would just be awkward to have to take it back,” Lindsey shot back, the faint hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth. There was a part of him that still enjoyed eliciting reactions from people and that was one guaranteed to draw a big one. It was more than just something to earn a reaction though, and something more than just sex. He knew exactly what Angel was getting at with this conversation and he was being difficult, out of reluctance to be vulnerable he was guessing. Lindsey groaned as Angel got him into an upright position, his cooling muscles protesting at the action. “Man, I was just getting comfortable too,” he groused, then gave Angel a speculative look. “Maybe hate’s a strong word. Strongly disliked, wanted to punch your face in. Maybe a little hate after you lopped my hand off,” he muttered, then shrugged. “But I’d say it was a lot more aggravation, maybe a little jealousy. Loyal people and all that.” He was silent for a moment before adding, “and maybe I admired your balls. Metaphorically.” “I could accuse you of liking the reaction it causes whenever you tell them we’re boyfriends, but I think you like the idea of it too.” Angel smirked back then, knowing that it would annoy Lindsey to admit something like feelings in front of him. They were such adults, sometimes. His smirk fell away when Lindsey mentioned the hand incident. Incident was definitely not a strong enough word for what had happened, but it was hard to talk about that. “I’m sorry about the hand, you know. You were being a dick and Cordelia was in danger at the time, though.” Reaching out for the replacement hand that Lindsey had received, he twined his with it. “But I’m still sorry about it, Lindsey. Especially now that I’m pretty sure that I love you and your metaphorical love of my balls.” Adults. His eyes narrowed in a stubborn look but he couldn’t entirely argue Angel’s point. Did he like being able to call someone his? Yeah, he did. That hadn’t happened to him often, especially not when it came to someone who challenged him like Angel did. “Shut up,” Lindsey muttered softly, shoulders hunching just slightly in the way of someone caught. Holding up the hand in question, he shook his head. “Stop it. Just because we’re getting closer doesn’t mean you’re going to start feeling bad for that now. I got a new one, I’m always going to be a dick, and at least I’ve got something to blame it on when I’m really feeling like being one.” To prove his point, he gave Angel the brief finger with a smirk. “See? Evil, mind of its own.” The smirk disappeared as he stared at their hands together. The lawyer was at a loss for words, brain trying to catch up with what Angel just said. “Love,” he echoed, frowning. “You love me.” Shrugging his shoulders, Angel didn’t look away from how he was holding Lindsey’s eyes with his own gaze. “Well, yeah. I do this thing where I only get into relationships with people I love.” As horrible as it could be, like with Darla, or how good, like with Buffy, there had always been love involved in his decision to be monogamous with one person. And now that he had said it, he felt even more certain of what they were doing. Carefully, he repeated, “I love you. I hope that’s not a problem for you.” A thousand smartass remarks came to mind in that moment, a defense mechanism deeply ingrained over the years. To his credit, he swallowed every last one of them back in an attempt to seriously consider what Angel was saying and how that made him feel. “That’s not a problem,” he said finally, mostly in an effort to just say something before the silence became too awkward. “Honestly, neither one of us would be here if we didn’t feel something, so I think it’s safe to assume that there’s a...a mutual reciprocation of caring,” he added. There was a moment where Angel considered being hurt that Lindsey wasn’t capable of saying the words back to him, but then he realized what he was actually saying was just as good, just the same, as the words he had spoken. Smiling, the vampire nodded. “Alright. I’ll take it.” He leaned forward to cup Lindsey’s face with his free hand and kissed him. Pulling away a few moments later, he quipped, “Now I believe you said you had something on your mind?” It was good to know his emotional stunting from his past wasn’t going to kill what actually might have been a good thing in his life before it really began. After the kiss, Lindsey tightened his grip on his hand and pulled back. “Ain’t as serious as what you had on your mind, but I think it’ll be fun enough for the both of us that you won’t mind,” he replied lightly, giving Angel a wicked grin. |