I have been assured and reassured and thrice assured that I am not in fact eaten by a dragon or drowned in Lake-town, although I knew the latter for certain since these waters are far less pungent. Only a bit in truth, but there is a distinct difference, once you've nearly drowned in a variety of lakes and rivers. That is to say that I do not know how much I believe this magic can be wielded by all or what the knobs do, and I am in fact speaking into it, for I had no quill and there is not much space to scrawl in.
You will have to forgive this rambling, for I have a heavy heart, and far too many thoughts to properly divide them in importance or clarity. It is important that I return from whence I came, and while I am but a simple Hobbit, I do not need to be spoken to slowly as if to a child. I need results and I am determined to get them. To the person who helps me, I cannot offer much in terms of a reward, but I have riddles, tales, no small skill at meal preparing with a healthy larder, and sincere gratitude.