Allison Argent is not vulnerable (forgedbullet) wrote in blackpoint, @ 2014-03-18 22:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | allison argent, isaac |
WHO: Allison Argent and Isaac Lahey
WHERE: The Potter Household; Allison’s bedroom.
WHEN: Monday, March 17, 2014; after Teen Wolf.
WHAT: Comforting one another.
RATING: PG
STATUS: log; complete.
WARNINGS: Brief discussion of violence & character death, all-around feels.
Isaac shouldn’t have let her out of his sight. The show had ended and they’d both been in shock and he’d known she’d left the room, but he shouldn’t have let her walk away. He was so overwhelmed, his thoughts weighing him down and clouding his mind, and he hadn’t reacted quickly enough. When he’d realized she wasn’t nearby, he’d panicked, and he’d torn through the Potter house to find her. He knew where she was, though. And even through the door, he could hear her and smell her and his heart ached in his chest (which was at least a reminder that it still was capable of beating). He’d knocked and called out, but she’d ignored him. He’d knocked more, pleading for her to open it and let him inside. He needed to hold her and make sure she was safe. But she hadn’t come. His sense of panic had grown, mixing with the sight of her laying in Scott’s arms on the show, and he’d had to act. He’d burst through the door in a fell swoop, leaving it fragmented and splintered in his wake, and he’d moved quickly to where she was curled up in bed, laying at her side and pulling her into his arms tightly. She had gone numb. Allison couldn’t remember a time when she had felt so helpless; so unprepared for a scenario that she drowned without even fighting her way to the surface. It wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last time she experienced loss. After all, she’d lived through her aunt getting her throat ripped out in front of her very eyes, and through her mother’s suicide. But there was something so raw, and stabbing about seeing the light leave her eyes that sent Allison’s mind spinning in a downward spiral that she had no hope of recovering from. Wolf Watch had started and she had forced herself out of the fog she was in, leaving the room quickly with a weak and transparent excuse of needing water as she ran up the stairs into her room, locking the door behind her. She found solace in her blankets, wrapped up so tightly that she almost felt warm, regardless of the fact that she couldn’t move. It hurt to move; hurt to think and though she could feel the sobs wracking through her body, it hurt to cry. There was guilt and pain and an overwhelming feeling of being a disappointment that made Allison force herself to block out the noise from Isaac, even though she knew she wasn’t being fair. Which was why it was completely unsurprising that he literally broke down the door to join her on her bed, cradling her to his chest. With a surprisingly loud sob, she turned into him, letting the tears fall despite her fear of making too much noise. “I’m sorry,” she managed to choke out. “God, I’m so sorry.” Isaac was a mess anyway. He’d been a mess for so long, long before they’d arrived. He’d found it even more difficult than he’d ever imagined to get a hold on himself and the way in which his mind worked. He was broken, and he felt that way, and he knew he was far less together than the other versions of himself. James was amazing, though, and Lily and Sophia were such a lovely aid in his life. And then there was Allison, who was his rock and really his whole world. She was the reason he’d made the progress he’d made. He loved her, he knew it, and he did everything he could to keep her happy in repayment for that. Watching her die had crushed him, but he knew it was even worse for her. He was so worried, and he didn’t know how to help her. How could someone so messed up as he was make any positive difference? But he would try everything he could to do so. She deserved so much more than that. He held her close when she curled against his chest, rubbing her back and tangling their bodies together to provide warmth and comfort and to feel that physical presence of each other that seemed so extra important now. “No, no,” he breathed, shhing her gently. “Don’t apologize, Allison. You didn’t do anything wrong. This wasn’t something we could do anything about.” It felt like the room had been collapsing all around her, crushing her underneath the weight. She couldn't believe that she'd left her dad all alone like that. It was never something that she'd wanted. No one deserved that. Stiles had been right when he'd told Lydia that death happened to everyone around them. Allison could feel it from the moment her eyes had shut for the final time. It was bad enough to see Scott's reaction, but to see Isaac broke her apart. He didn't deserve to watch that happen, not after everything. Why was it that the people who had already lost so much continued to lose even more? She had practically crawled into his lap, the closeness lessening the bruising weight of everything else just enough that she could begin to breathe again. It wasn't fair and she didn't care how juvenile that sounded. All Allison wanted was to forget that the past hour had even happened and to pretend that for just a few more days that she and her friends had a future that wasn't marred by uncertainty and pain. The words of protest were at the tip of her tongue; practically begging to be said, but there was no fight left in her. She felt like a shell with the remnants of the happy person she was stuck inside, rattling around and mocking her. "I didn't want to." Of course anyone with common sense would know that, but it was more than that. It was letting her dad be on his own after all this time. It was Isaac losing a member of his family. It was everyone losing her as a member of the pack. It ate at her heart and worked its way up into her windpipe until she felt suffocated. "It isn't fair to you." Isaac had been struggling so hard already with optimism and happiness, but Allison had been the one to help him. Allison had been the one to convince him that maybe he could have a future after all, even if everything in his life seemed to point to the opposite. He had a family here now, even if he didn’t have an Alpha. James had rather filled that role, interestingly enough. He tended to him and had taken on an almost fatherly figure, and Isaac loved that. When Sophia had been born, he’d been terrified, not wanting to ruin everything by being unable to help with her. But he’d fallen in love with her, and she’d given him more hope that perhaps he could be a father at some point as well. Maybe he had a chance. This was such a kick in the gut. Their world had differences, of course, and there was no indication that his Allison actually died back home, but there was a chance. And he wasn’t prepared for that. Her words made his heart break more. He’d lost so much, he knew. He felt like he had so few people in his life who could truly be considered family. But he couldn’t let her stay on that path. “Don’t think that way,” he breathed. “You’re still here, Allison. It was just on the show. We have a real chance here, you know? That’s what you tell me, right? We can make this place anything we want it to be. We still have a chance at the future. Jeff Davis doesn’t control us.” It was so incredibly difficult to remind herself that she was here and that her heart was still beating. She could feel it slam against her ribcage with every stuttering breath she took but it still didn't feel real. Allison found herself nodding despite her disbelief. Because yes, their world was different, but if this could happen in one world, it was fair game to any of them. Her nails dug in slightly to the firm plane of his chest, hardly daring to think of the alternatives. She had been brought through by a portal. Portals worked both ways. If something were to happen, she could get sent back home and meet a demise similar to the one she'd just witnessed. "We do," Allison whispered. "We do have a chance here. I just..." It was hard to describe how devastated she felt for those around her. It was as if she was a grenade, destroying not only herself but everyone in her path. "It's hard to not want to go put an arrow in him," she finished, honesty apparent in her voice. Isaac channeled his hearing to the beating of her heart, letting each aching beat and stuttering breath surround him in stereo to remind him that she was still there and that what had happened on the show hadn’t happened here. Even as much as it hurt him to hear her in such pain, it made him feel a panicked sense of relief at the same time. Her nails in his chest were another reminder, and he welcomed them. He held her closer. “We’re going to be okay, Allison. I’m not letting you go home. I’m not going home. We’ll make a life here and we’ll actually live it,” he said, swore to her. He’d fight anyone and anything that tried to keep that from happening. “I know, I know. I want to rip him into pieces.” At the very least, she had Isaac here, to hold her and comfort her while it felt like the world was splitting apart. Allison didn’t remotely know what she’d done to deserve someone who cared about her so selflessly and wholeheartedly, but she wasn’t going to begin to question it now. Not when she felt like she could actually disappear if she loosened her grip on him. She attempted to not concentrate on how awful it all felt; losing her aunt, mother, friends, sanity before finally losing herself, because it made her feel like she might actually collapse. And that wasn’t an option. She tightened her free arm around his neck, burrowing her head at the juncture of his shoulder and inhaled deeply, the familiar scent helping to steady her breathing. At his words, she half smiled, half-sobbed. “I love you, Isaac. And we’re not going back.” If anyone tried to do otherwise, they would have to face a literal army. “He can’t touch us anymore.” Isaac could hear her breathing begin to steady, even if it wasn’t much comparatively, and that was a somewhat reassuring sound. He settled his head against hers, tangling their bodies ever closer so that they both could gain comfort. “I love you too,” he said in response, his voice quiet and strained. “He can’t. No one can.” It wasn’t resolved, not by a long shot. And Allison wasn’t entirely sure what the proper amount of time was for this sort of situation. She moved in as close as she could, so that she could no longer tell where she ended and he began and listened to the beat of his heart to calm her. There would be time to be strong tomorrow, after all. She was allowed to be weak tonight. |