scott mccall has hearts in his eyes (mccalls) wrote in blackpoint, @ 2014-03-12 05:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | lahey, scott |
WHO: Isaac Lahey & Scott McCall, College Verse
WHEN: March 7th, 2014
WHERE: Honolulu, HI: Their Apartment
WHAT: Isaac and Scott finally stumble toward a revelation.
RATING: PG
Isaac wasn’t eating the pie on his plate so much as stabbing it thoughtfully and moving it around, his body propped up by elbows on the table where he sat. He really, really tried not to let himself be so invested in Scott in such a non-platonic way, but he couldn’t help it. It was a very fine line to keep balance in the way he spoke to him, too. He either went too far and tacked on a little joke just in case it wasn’t welcome, or he just went too far in general without the tack on and wished he’d added it when Scott shot him down. He didn’t want to make anything awkward just because he couldn’t resist being so overwhelmingly attracted to Scott. He always inevitably felt like such a fool, though. He was lucky the awkwardness never really settled in, but it didn’t change the feeling that he was kidding himself and really ought to stop. It was almost worse now that they were here, and now that they had the option of the network for communication. At least in person, it was easier to judge when the tone of their conversation had reached that point where he was taking it more seriously than Scott was. In writing, it was harder to deduce. And the fact that everyone else in the other worlds seemed to think it was a Thing, even to the point of having a bet on it, didn’t help matters. It was a little frustrating. It’d happened again, and it left him with that sense that he really needed to stop and just see it for the playful teasing it apparently was. He was always left with that feeling, especially lately, and he was sure he always took things just a step too far. That’s how it’d go -- he’d feel like maybe they were getting somewhere, but then he’d go the extra step and suddenly it’d be go order the pizza, isaac or go eat your pie, isaac. Every time. He sighed, mentally shaking it all off so that he could be normal, and forked a bit of pie into his mouth. “Scott,” he called. “Come eat some of Lydia’s cookies, at the very least, or I’m going to explode.” He was sulking. Scott could deny it all he wanted, but he was definitely sitting in his room, curtains drawn and sulking because he didn't know what he was doing with Isaac. He wished he could say he was brooding, but he was nowhere near the Batman level of cool to be able to pull that off. So he was sulking like a child because his feelings were a mess and he had no idea how to deal with them. The thing was, he liked Isaac. To get elementary school about it, he liked-liked Isaac. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where he consciously realized this, but he was pretty sure it started the day they showed him how to take away an animal's pain at Deaton's. The look on Isaac's face when he realized what he had accomplished had warmed Scott from head to toe. From there, the feeling had just build. Now it was three years later and they still haven't fully acknowledged what was going on between them and it wasn't for the lack of opportunity. Time after time, Scott ran away from it and he knew he was doing it. Just when he thought they could act on what was going on, he remembered the fact that he was Alpha to Isaac's Beta. And somehow that translated to him taking advantage of the other werewolf, or at least that's what he told himself when he remembered all that time before Isaac had gotten over his need to please authority figures. Because what if this wasn't what Isaac wanted, not really? What if it was actually something he was doing to please Scott? Thus, the sulking. Away from the cookies Lydia had brought over and away from Isaac. It had been on his agenda to sulk for the rest of the evening while surfing the internet, when he heard Isaac calling for him. He weighed the pros and cons of making an excuse, but pushed himself away from his computer desk and headed out to the kitchen. There was a smile plastered onto his face, painful and awkward, but slowly disappearing into a real smile the longer he stood there. Because at the end of it all, he really liked Isaac and being around him made him forget all the worries he had. "Way to exaggerate. I know you already ate at least half of them." Isaac was confident that Scott had no idea just how positive of an impact he’d had on his life. Before he’d been bitten, he’d only been the tall, invisible kid who worked at the graveyard and lived in hell at home. He hadn’t had any friends and kept to himself in school, so terrified of his father that he panicked over his grades and sabotaged himself. He was living day to day with no future prospects beyond finally getting out of his father’s house, but he didn’t even know what he’d do then. He just felt like he was constantly treading water with weights on his ankles trying to drag him down. He felt like he’d never escape that freezer in the basement. When Derek had bitten him, he’d felt a sense of purpose and power. He didn’t have his father to beat him, and suddenly there was an opportunity ahead of him. Derek had preyed on his weakness and thirst for a sense of identity, and he’d done exactly as had been expected of him. Still, if he’d stayed in that mindset, he’d have still done nothing but tread water in a new (leather-clad) pond. It’d been that moment in the veterinary hospital, when he’d taken the pain of another creature and realized that he could have a place in this world beyond what he’d imagined was possible, that had started his change into the Isaac he was today. It’d been Scott who’d shown him that power wasn’t the most important thing, and that there was a better way to do things than the way the Hales did them. Ending up at the McCall house, where he was so easily taken in and accepted, had been a bewildering experience for Isaac, but it had felt like he finally had somewhere to belong. He’d transformed from that invisible boy to a young man who was not only confident in his skin but ambitious enough to push forward, and he attributed that almost entirely to Scott. There was certainly a part of him that still saw Scott as his Alpha and a superior figure, but Scott had helped him shake that so that it wasn’t the most important thing. Isaac didn’t understand Scott’s reactions, though, and it was sending him a little backwards into that more uncertain version of himself. He’d think they were getting somewhere, and then everything would jump back a few steps. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. “You have no proof of that,” he said, returning the smile as it was given, feeling relief at the sight of it. He quirked an eyebrow, sitting back further in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t slander my good name with your false accusations.” "I don't know, that cookie belly you have going on might say otherwise about your good name," Scott said, grinning as he sat across from Isaac. He leaned forward to swipe a cookie from the pile, glad that they didn't have the same problem with chocolate that dogs did. If he had to give up chocolate chip cookies after becoming a werewolf, it would have been tragic. Nodding to the half-eaten pie slice on Isaac's place, he asked, "Or is the pie the culprit?" He knew it wasn't enough of an apology, the pie, but to apologize would mean to admit there was something between them, to admit to the flirtation - as obvious as it was - and Scott couldn't do that. Not when he felt like it would ruin all the progress that Isaac made. What he didn't realize was how his refusal to admit anything was the reason that the progress would be lost. “Wow,” Isaac said in mock indignation. “First you slander my good name, and then you outright call me fat. How even dare you.” He scoffed, shaking his head. With his very angular features, he could pull off this playfully snotty expression quite well. It didn’t last long, though, before he grinned again, shrugging a shoulder. “Really, it’s your own damn fault for bringing home pie.” Part of him wondered if the pie wasn’t meant to be a consolation prize, to be honest. A sorry, I’m not interested but here’s pie sort of thing. “So,” he began, leaning forward again and settling his elbows back on the table, crossing his arms before him, “are we going to stay here ‘til summer semester, or just until the show season’s over?” "Your numerous fangirls will soothe your bruised ego, I'm sure," Scott smirked, leaning back a little when Isaac leaned forward. He didn't realize he was doing it, that he sometimes kept a physical barrier between them when he felt like they were getting too close or too flirty. "I think we should see how it goes after the season's over before we decide. I really don't mind sticking around here until the summer semester though. Mom's here and I like being around here." Scott said, picking up another cookie, but not eating it. "What about you? I know you don't plan on really thinking for awhile, but did any stray thoughts about any of this come your way?" “You think? I may have to track some of them down, then. My poor ego could use a bit of love,” he responded. It was only because he was so hyper-aware of Scott’s actions and reactions that he noticed the way Scott leaned back, and it was only that creeping of self-consciousness and uncertainty that made him make more of it than he figured was necessary. He nodded as Scott answered his question. “That works for me,” he said, smirking a little at the second bit about him refusing to think. “I like it here too, and it’s definitely a plus that Melissa’s here. I just worry we’re a little hard for them to take sometimes, you know? Since we got out and moved on with our lives and they’re living so day-to-day trying to deal with everything. I want to make sure we aren’t doing more harm than good by sticking around.” At times, Scott could be oblivious, but he noticed Isaac's reaction to him and tried not to let his wince show so obviously. He pushed forward, trying not to show how it affected him. "We could try talking to them. See if we're doing more harm than good by being here. Because as much as it would suck to hear that, I would rather know than make things unintentionally worse." Of course, because awkward begets awkward, Isaac saw the wince and wasn’t sure what to make of it, so his already uncertain mind took it a little poorly. He felt so silly for being so sensitive, and it tossed him a little off of his game. “I think that might actually be a good idea, though I don’t know when would be a good opportunity to broach the subject. I’d like to think the younger me might feel relieved – if a little overwhelmed – at the idea of possibly making it through graduation and moving on with life. But he could be just as weirded out by it. Right now, with what they’re facing, we just might be a reminder that things aren’t normal. Not that they ever were with us.” He shrugged. “But yes. Asking is a good thing. Asking’s always the best option, I think.” Munching on his cookie and trying to overlook the look Isaac’s face was sporting because they were just a big ball of awkward at this point and it was almost to the point where they could acknowledge it, Scott nodded and tried to buy time with the cookie. But it might have been too much time because by the time he swallowed the bite, long moments had passed. “We were always pretty bad when people tried to make decisions for us. You’re right, communication is the best shot we have, even if it is going to be hard trying to bring it up to them.” Biting his lip, he set the half eaten cookie down. Speaking of awkward things they could be talking about… “Isaac?” Can we...talk about something?” He was going to do it, he was going to actually try and bring the something that was going on between them up. Isaac forked a bit of pie into his mouth not because it was hungry but because the moment had that distinct cloud of awkward and he didn’t know how to break it. He didn’t know what was going on at all, really, and it bothered him, but he knew the only way to fix it would be a conversation. And he wasn’t sure if Scott really wanted to have the conversation, or if he’d just make things more awkward by bringing it up. It was a very conflicting series of thoughts in his head. “Pretty much,” he responded, smiling. “I agree, yeah. I think we’ve gotten better at communication over the years.” He looked up at his name, looking at Scott curiously. His heart jumped a bit at the question, which was definitely the sign of something important, and he steadied his hand that carried the fork. “Of course,” he said. “What’s up?” It was hard as hell to keep from looking away, but Scott forced himself to look Isaac in the eye for this. If they were going to talk about what was going on between them, he owed it to the other wolf to do it to his face, to not be a wimp about it. “I’m not crazy when I say there’s something going on between us, right? I mean, I’m not seeing things?” Hearing and smelling too, but he didn’t want to bring up how creepily invasive their powers could get. Isaac already knew how their senses worked, it wasn’t something that needed to be said. Isaac didn’t know for sure what the topic of this turn in their conversation would be, not consciously, but god he had his hopes. And fears. His heartbeat quickened further, a little flush creeping up his neck, and then Scott spoke and suddenly here they were. “No,” he said, then quickly continued. “You’re not seeing things, I mean. I’ve been... honestly, I’ve been thinking there was but then I try and it seems like maybe you aren’t... interested like that.” He felt so awkward in his phrasing, and that was so frustrating, but it was what it was. Scott flushed, scratching the back of his neck, when Isaac confirmed all of his suspicions about what was happening. It was one thing to talk to Stiles, Lydia, and Allison about this, about the what ifs and hopes he had, but it was an entirely differently thing to talk to the object of his crush about it. “I am! Trust me, I am, but it’s complicated. You know it’s complicated.” Gesturing between the two of them, he said, “We’re friends. You’re one of my best friends. I don’t want to mess that up just because I want to be more.” Isaac had talked to Lydia and Allison about this for so long now that it seemed so surreal to actually be talking to Scott about it finally. The fact that so many of the others here seemed to ‘know’ and want it too made it so much more present on his mind, which was saying a lot given that Scott seemed to be the only thing he ever thought about. His heart leapt in his chest with Scott admitted that he wanted it too, a burst of hope and disbelief coursing through him. He chewed on his lip, his brow furrowing a little. “How could you mess it up?” he said, curious and confused and a little concerned. “I want it too.” “I’m also your Alpha,” Scott explained, the reminder blunt. “I know I should give you a hell of a lot more credit than I am right now, but what if what I’m projecting what I want onto you and you’re responding because of some weird wolf Beta desire?” It was the first time he was voicing this fear to anyone, including his other friends, but now that it was out there, Scott was so scared that Isaac would realize that this was exactly what he was describing and he would lose him as a friend. The fear showed on his face and he couldn’t hide it even if he tried. Isaac’s brow furrowed a great deal more at the explanation. He wanted to ask so? but then Scott answered that for him. He might’ve argued that Scott wasn’t giving him enough credit, sure, and he might’ve even been a little hurt by that, but he knew that ultimately Scott’s fears were out of care for him. His head tilted a little at it and he looked at Scott with more curiosity. “Scott, you weren’t always my Alpha. I’ve wanted you since the puppy at the animal hospital, and I was still Derek’s then. You being my Alpha has to do with it, sure, because I trust you more than anyone in the world, but it’s not the reason I want to be with you.” Drawing up short at the revelation that Isaac had wanted him since the time at Dr. Deaton’s, Scott did a pretty accurate expression of a fish for a few moments. When he realized how stupid he probably looked right then, he closed his mouth with a snap and turned completely red. “Really?” The hints of a smile were starting to tug at the corners of his mouth, but he wasn’t letting himself get hopeful quite yet. This didn’t meant anything, yet. “Because I think that’s when it started for me too.” The way Scott’s face transformed them totally endeared him to Isaac, who couldn’t help the smile that curled at his lips at it. He couldn’t believe that they’d made it to this moment, and that it was going in this direction. All of that uncertainty he’d been harboring for so long seemed to be breaking up now. “Really really,” he said, chewing on his lip again. When Scott continued, it was his turn to look at him a bit open-mouthed and surprised, and then he grinned a little, unable to restrain himself. “Is it really?” he said. “Yeah. I don’t think I realized it for a long time though. We had a lot going on in our last few years at the school and Allison and I had that whole thing we had to put to bed. I don’t think it really hit me that I liked you more than just a friend, a packmate, until college. A small dorm room really opened my eyes.” And here Scott looked away, slightly embarrassed. “You don’t know the torture involved with living so close to you.” It was so lovely to hear Scott talking about having feelings for him, and he couldn’t help but smile all the way through it. “Oh, I totally do know that torture, thank you very much. It was just as hard living with you,” he said, then blushed. “Sometimes literally.” He laughed a little, awkwardly, but let the comment stand because it was true and they were being honest. “I think I knew a little earlier than you. Maybe didn’t recognize it until after the Darach stuff when we almost lost Melissa and everything, but yeah.” Annnd now Scott was thinking about Isaac’s junk. So much for trying to be serious throughout this conversation. As much as he wanted to comment about it, he knew they had to get through this first, to work out what they wanted from each other and what should come next. “So what should we do next? What do you want to do next if we’re on the same page about this?” He didn’t want to assume that this was a greenlight to jump Isaac because as much as he was itching to, words and actions were two different things. Isaac totally knew he probably shouldn’t have added that extra quip, but he couldn’t help it. He’d had so much on the tip of his tongue for so long that he’d not been able to express. He still felt a bit off his game, but in a much better way this time than it’d been before. He chewed his lip again at the question, trying to figure out if it was okay to say get over here now like he so wanted to say. “Well, I think if we’re both on the same page, there’s no reason not to... try things,” he said, smiling a bit. His lips quirked up into a smirky smirk. "Try things, huh?" And now Scott was being a little teasing. For a little over three years he wanted to do this and finally he was getting a chance. It was a surprise he wasn't jumping across the table at Isaac because what a near thing. His chair made a scraping noise as he pushed it back to stand. "Well, it's been a long day. I might just turn in early." The smirk was still there, a little taunting now, as he made a move toward the hall where the bedrooms were. That smirky smirk sent a jolt of lightning through Isaac’s whole body and he smirked right back. “Mhmm,” he responded, lifting his eyebrows and waiting to see what Scott would do next. His heart was still racing and his palms were itching to finally get to touch Scott the way he’d been wanting to for so long, and then Scott was moving. He watched him move, the teasing words enough, and he used speed to his advantage to move and catch up to Scott and spin him to press him (gently, but firmly) against the hallway wall. He was meeting the taunt and rising to the occasion. “You’ve been doing an awful lot of running from me lately, Scott. No more of that, even if it is to the bedroom,” he said, smirking, his voice a bit lower than it’d ever really been. For a few moments, Scott was pretty sure he stopped breathing. How could he with Isaac invading all of his senses with his smell like this? With the feel of him against him? It was taking him all the willpower he capable of drawing on to not flip Isaac over to he was the one against the wall and doing something that involved a lot less talking. Because he wanted to see this play out, wanted Isaac to take charge because he did it so well. "No more running," Scott promised instead, before tilting his chin up so he could look Isaac more easily in the eyes. "Come to my bedroom with me." Isaac would’ve been completely okay with having that power flipped, but god it felt good to have Scott’s body against his finally, and to feel like there weren’t any limits anymore. It was a very heady feeling, which certainly mixed with the definite arousal that had been coursing through him since high school and now no longer needed to hide. Their eyes met and he couldn’t respond outright because he occupied his lips with Scott’s, finally meeting them like he’d wanted to for so long. When he finally did force himself away, it was breathlessly, his chest heaving and a smile on his lips as he took Scott’s hands to pull him into the bedroom. |