blackpoint - the au community

I have one sincerely angered toddler on my hands and no juice boxes. This is a disaster.

Okay, can someone that isn't a bat spar with me? I need to punch things, not be criticized every five seconds while punching things.

You know, when you grow up hearing all the stories about how truly fucked up this place can be, hearing your parents, aunts, uncles, cousins... Everybody talk about how Blackpoint the Freak Show, see the reality TV shows that crop up, get stuck going to the beach BBQs and know more cops than anybody should ever actually have to meet in their lifetime...

All that?

Doesn't make this any less of a mindfuck.

Sorry mom. Moms. I don't even know, at this point.

Open position, to be filled immediately: Paid intern, does what Granger says, unless I say "don't do what Granger says in this specific case", in which case listen to me and not her. Make coffee and don't bitch about it. I don't care if it's good coffee but it's gotta be passable and if you just reheat that shit I will know it and you're gonna have nightmares the rest of your goddamned life once I'm done chewing you out. Filing the shit that needs to be filed; neither Granger nor I have done much with that so I hope you like piles. of. shit. Answer the phone, answer the door, be nice to our clients, and goddamn shower once in a while, Christ. Be a fucking human being, take some goddamn pride.

And for fuck's sake if I catch you smuggling magic carpets down at the blackmarket off Mayfair don't piddle about with "wow, what a strange coincidence that this illegal deal is going down so close and unrelated to me" because that's how we lost our last intern and I'm gonna be mighty upset if I need to go down memory road.

Anything else?



Oh yeah, what we do - detective agency, hire us when you don't want to deal with the brass's bullshit - just kidding HPD and NYPD, you're great - but we're not gonna front for you or hide your shit. We solve. Questions? Comments? Ask Granger, she actually likes people.

Apply or something by... doing shit, I don't know. Surprise me.

Podmore out.

Volunteers for babysitting? Almost a year, she's already walking and likes throwing food. But otherwise a pretty happy and content toddler. I prefer a cop or someone that at least knows what they're doing.

Basically I need to get out of the house for a few hours and do something that's not work.

[ FILTERED TO TEAM DAD ]
What's our progress? I'm trying not to be annoying, but that's not going to happen probably.

[ FILTERED TO RANGER SCOTT ]
Hey butthead, I have a question for you.